A Mother's Love

In the dream May was seeing and feeling everything though the senses of Fawn. She felt the

excitement Fawn was feeling. Though Fawn’s eyes May saw the journey down the hall the Fawn took that day to room 712. When Fawn entered the room she was greeted by the lady who called herself Susan. Susan asked Fawn to take a seat while she reviewed all the results. Fawn sat down and picked up a magazine that was on a side table and started to flip through the pages to pass the time. It didn’t take Susan long to review the findings and she turned towards Fawn and said, “Fawn you are an excellent candidate for the program. In fact you got the highest test results we have ever had in the program. Your health is above normal and your intelligence testing was exceedingly high. The Agency would like to offer you a slot in our program.” Fawn was elated with the outcome, but played it low key and questioned Susan on what would be the next step in the process. Susan replied, “First we’ll need to finalize the documentation needed for the legalities of the situation and the compensation due you for participating in the program with the agency. If you have, or want to hire an attorney to review the contract, that is fine with the agency. We do have an attorney that can handle it with no charge to you. He will go over everything with you and explain what is asked of you in the participation of the program and set up a payment plan for your service.” Fawn told Susan that she would use the agency’s lawyer to finalize the contract; she knew she couldn’t afford to hire one. Susan nodded and turned away from Fawn and picked up the phone and dialed a four digit extension. Pres another button on the phone Susan put on the speaker so that Fawn could her and participate in the conversation. The extension rang twice and was answered by a male voice that said, “Hello Susan, what can I do for you?” Susan responded, “Ron I have a candidate here who would like to participate in our surrogate mother program. Her name is Fawn Moore and we would like to use your services to finalize all the documentation.” The voice on the other end of the line said, “Susan fax me over the information and I’ll have the paperwork ready for you in the morning.” Susan looked at Fawn for her approval and Fawn nodded to approve it. “That will work for us Ron. What time can you be here?” asked Susan. Fawn spoke up and said the earliest she could be here is about 2 P.M.

because of her class load. Ron responded that that time would be fine with him. Susan thanked him for his time and said she would fax the information over shortly to him. Susan press a button on the phone and ended the call.

“Well then let us get down to the compensation you’ll be paid for participation then. We are willing to allocate to you thirty-five hundred dollars a month; paid on the fifteenth and last day of the month, for one year from the date of the signed contract. At the time of delivery there will be an additional fifty thousand to be paid to you. Is that a sum you could work with?” Susan said to Fawn. Fawn could not believe what she just heard and was a bit amazed so it took her a moment before she said, “That will work very well for me.” Susan smiled and said, “I will see you tomorrow at 2 P.M. to complete the documentation and set up date and procedure for the insemination.” Susan stood up and held out her hand. Fawn stood and shook Susan hand and thanked her. Fawn turned and exited the office and headed for the elevator. In her mind she was still trying to grasp what had just happened to her. She went from being a low income college student to a fairly well paid middle class student who would have no troubles continuing her education without taking a student loan. With that pleasant thought in her mind she headed home for a good night sleep.

Chapter 11:

May’s dream started to change she no longer felt one with Fawn but an observer to the events that followed. She saw Fawn’s meeting, signing the documentation and witness the insemination, but she could not feel what Fawn was thinking or experiencing. It all passed by so quickly but all the details were there for May to perceive what had happened. The months passed quickly in May’s dream. She watched as Fawn went through the pregnancy. How fawn had managed to balance her class load and meeting the demands of a monthly checkup by the agency. It was about the seven month of the pregnancy that the dream changed again. Once again she felt herself mentally linked with Fawn’s mind.

Fawn was sitting on an examination table waiting for the doctor to come in. She felt the baby kick and she smiled. In her mind Fawn felt a feeling of happiness, but it was a strange feeling in a way. She felt that somehow the feelings she was having wasn’t just her own but a shared feeling with the child she carried. Then it seemed that the world around her was fading out of sight and being replaced by another image. The image seemed to be going in and out of focus, but when in focus she could see a tiny hand moving. She could hear a rhythmic beating sound and it seemed to bring her peace with its beating. Fawn realized that it was her own heart beat she was hearing, but it was not through her ears that she heard the sound, but that of the child she carried. Fawn was not frightened by what was happening but more in a state of complete amazement. She was actually sharing a moment in time with the child she carried in her own womb.

The sound of the examination room door opening brought back the real world into her sight. Standing in the doorway was Doctor Scull smiling and carrying a clipboard. “Hello Fawn. You look well and how is life these days.” The doctor asked. Fawn replied that she was doing fine and that she was preparing to take her mid terms and looking forward to Christmas break. The doctor asked if she was spending the holidays with family. Fawn replied she be spending it with some friends from school that she had no family in the area. The doctor said, “Well your parents must not be happy to hear that.” Fawn did not answer right away and for the moment just sat there and thought about her parent. She then replied to the doctor, ’My parents died just days after my tenth birthday in a car accident. I was taken in and raised by my Grandmother Tess Moore in a town called Wilmington that’s north of Boston. She’s the only real family I had and she passed away a little over a year ago. I do have an aunt and uncle that live out in Colorado, but we’re not close as family. So like I said I’ll be spending it with college friends who can’t afford to go home for the holidays. We’re planning a celebration for Christmas Eve at the college and a dinner on Christmas at my place. Don’t worry I will not consume any alcohol or drugs, but I am going to eat everything that smells and taste good. So expect that scale to show my enjoyment of the holidays in a few extra pounds.” “Well then you seemed to have it all planned out. Now let’s get down to that examination” Doctor Scull said with a chuckle in his voice.

During the examination Fawn had thought a couple of time’s that the doctor had said something and she didn’t quite understand what he was saying. She questioned him on what he said but he replied that he hadn’t said anything. This seemed strange to Fawn because she could have sworn him say something. He turned away from her and she heard him say, “She’s coming along just fine the male child is developing well.” “That’s good to hear doctor.” replied Fawn. The doctor turned around and asked “What was good to hear Fawn?” “I thought I heard you say something about me doing fine doctor.” Doctor Scull looked at her strangely for a moment then a smile appeared on his face. “You are doing just fine and I’ll see you again in January. Oh by the way, it’s okay to have a nice glass of wine when you celebrate the holidays just don’t overdo it.” he said as he existed the room.

Once again May felt a separation from Fawn’s awareness occur and she again became an observer.

She watched as Fawn left the agency and caught a subway train back to Charlestown. Days went flashing by and May saw Fawn writing term papers and studying hard for the semester final examines. May saw Fawn for what she really was. A strong independent woman, determined to do her best in what she wanted to achieve in life. She had a willingness to do what had to be done to accomplish this. May also observed that Fawn was changing. She seemed to understand more about the people around her. How they felt, what they were thinking, and what they needed. It was almost at times appearing that she could read their thoughts. May wondered if something with the pregnancy had brought about some latent talent out in Fawn.

The images in May dream started to slow down in pace and once again May found herself being drawn into Fawn’s existence. Fawn was cleaning up after the Christmas dinner with friends. It was a joyous occasion for all, and the Christmas feast was one to remember. All the guest had departed except one; Fawn’s closet friend Abbey Sullivan.

Abbey was a small thin girl with red hair and a face full of freckles. On first meeting her Fawn thought if there were such creatures as leprechauns Abbey must be one. Fawn and Abbey quickly became friends. Fawn was packing up the remains of the Christmas ham in a plastic containers when she thought she heard Abbey say, “ I sure do miss spending Christmas with my family.” Fawn responded and said’ “They probably miss you too.” “Who misses me?” Abbey asked. “Your family, Isn’t that what you said?” Fawn responded. “I didn’t say anything, but I was thinking that just before you said they missed me too. What are you some kind of mind reader?” Abbey asked jokingly. “If that was the case life would be a lot easier., and take it from me it’s not getting any easier at all.” Fawn answered back. They both looked at each other and started laughing.

When Abbey and Fawn were done cleaning up and packing they sat down at the table and poured themselves a cup of coffee and ate the last pieces of pumpkin pie. They chatted for a while talking about what the next semester at school will bring and how they were both glad that this semester had come to an end.

They made plans to get out and see the Christmas lights at the Public Gardens and the Commons in Boston, and maybe take in a showing of the Nutcracker during Christmas break. When they were all finished eating and chatting Abbey stood up from the table and put on her jacket. They hugged each other and wished one another a Merry Christmas and Abbey headed for home.

Fawn flopped down in her favorite chair and just relaxed. She started thinking how sad it was that Abbey couldn’t afford to go home for winter break. The more she thought about it the more she wanted to help.

Abbey’s family lived in Ohio and the cost of the plane ticket was out of Abbey’s reach financially. Fawn had saved some money from what she was getting from the agency and if she could afford it she would buy the ticket for Abbey. She would check the cost in the morning and if it didn’t break her saving and buy the ticket. It made her feel good that she could unite her friend with her family over break. She may have missed spending Christmas with them, but at least she could have New Years. She felt the baby moving and thought he agrees.

So be it.

Fawn thought to herself, “If only I could see my parents just one more time, that would be a Christmas miracle” The baby gave a little kick and Fawn laughed because it actually tickle and kicks do not usually tickle.

It made her laugh so hard it brought tears to her eyes so she closed them to free up the tears. When she finally stopped laughing and open her eyes there stood her parents looking at her and smiling. In her mother hands was a book and she held it out to Fawn. “Mom, Dad, is that you? How can this be possible, you both died over a decade ago” Tears filled her eyes again this time they were tears of both joy and sadness. Joy in the actual seeing of her parents once again, and sadness knowing it couldn’t be real. She feared that if she blinked they would be gone so she kept her eyes open for as long as she could without blinking, but tears built up in her eyes and she blinked. When her eyes came back into focus they were gone. Fawn started to question her sanity. To many strange things were happening to her. Hearing people say things that they didn’t speak but thought and now seeing her parents.

The images of her parents were still in her mind’s eye and she realized what the image was. It was the time on her tenth birthday just before they died. They had given her a book that year. It was the book her mother was holding. An old copy of Peter Pan, and if she remembered right it was a first printing of it. She got up from her chair and walked over to the bookshelf and located the book. She took the book and returned to her chair and opened it. On the inside cover she read what hwas written in her mother’s handwriting, “To our lovely daughter Fawn on her tenth birthday, Love Mom and Dad”. She sat and thought about the day she received the book how it made her feel. It was her favorite story. It was a story about the love of family more than just about a boy that could fly and refused to grow up. Peter and the lost boys were looking for the mother that they never had until Wendy was brought to Neverland by Peter. Fawn would pretend that her stuffed animal toys were Peter and the lost boys and she was Wendy the mother. She would act out different parts of the story where Wendy tries mothering them to watch behind their ears, or clean up after themselves. These are memories that she always treasured.

Fawn Turned to the first page and started reading. The world of Neverland came to life once more for her. They were all there: Peter and Wendy, Captain Hook, Tinkerbelle, Tiger Lily and the Lost Boys and all the rest. As she read she could sense that somehow the child she carried seemed to share the enjoyment she was having in reading the book. Fawn was reading the part where Peter first meets Wendy and she sews on his shadow and then sprinkles fairy dust over Wendy and her brother and teaches them to fly. This was one of her favorite parts of the story. Fawn had always wanted to experience that feeling of defying gravity ever since she first read this story. Everyone wishes they could break the bonds that hold us down to the earth and soar with the other creature that can fly. It is the ultimate feeling of freedom from the everyday burdens of life, A. J.

Barrie, the author made it appear so easy to achieve. Just think happy thoughts. So Fawn stooped for a moment from her reading. She closed her eyes and thought how happy she was that she had that Christmas Miracle and saw her parents. She felt the baby move and then felt a feeling of weightlessness come over her.

It was a wonderful feeling and she enjoyed it for a moment then opened her eyes. She then realized that she was no longer sitting in her chair but floating about a foot above it. This startled her and in and in the next instant she fell back into her chair.

“OK, that was weird.” she thought to herself. There was something happening here that she could not comprehend to its fullness. What was happening to her? Why were these things happening to her? Could it have something to do with her pregnancy? Could it be caused by some hormonal imbalance brought on by the pregnancy? Had this imbalance somehow affected some unknown center of her brain to activate these abilities? These and many more questions raced through her mind as she struggled to find an answer. Then she heard a small voice in her mind say the word, “Mother.” Fawn looked around and checked if there was someone in the room with her. She knew there wasn’t but just in case she looked around anyway. She thought to herself that maybe this is a dream and it’s not really happening. It’s all a creation of her subconscious and nothing more, but she could feel the chair underneath her, and the book in her hand. It was real and not a dream. Fawn Thought, “Should I tell Doctor Scull about this?”, but came to the conclusion that it might create complications that could be detrimental to the contract she signed. She would have to figure it out for herself on the fly and hopefully find an answer. Whatever that was happening hasn’t cause any damage to her or the child she was carrying. So she quickly put it out of her mind and went on reading.

Fawn read the whole book from cover to cover, reliving all the adventures of Peter and Wendy in Neverland. The more she read the more she felt that the child she carried was reading it with her and enjoying it even more than she. A thought came to her. Could it be the child that is causing all the events that she couldn’t explain? Has this child been blessed with a special gift? A mother and child are after all sharing the same body system for the term of the pregnancy. Could it be that the child is somehow aware of this and using her bodily Systems? These were her last waking thoughts as she drifted off to sleep. It had been a long and eventful day and sleep was just the thing she needed.