SWNOVELS Chapter Twenty-Two
“So you are a Hunter,” Xyen stated, but there was no surprise, anger or hate in his voice.
“You knew?” I frowned, unable to believe he’d just let me walk into his pack if he knew.
“I suspected,” he shrugged and grinned when he noticed my expression.
“And you still picked me?” I asked confused. But he just smiled, like he had a secret I was supposed know about.
“I don’t care what you are, Liz,” he said, gently playing with my hair, before kissing the top of my head. “All that matter to me is that you’re mine!”
My breath hitched and strangely, my heart skipped a beat. And for the life of me, I couldn’t stop the blush that spread across my cheeks. The way he looked at me, the way he held me, the way his voice sounded when he said it…
It felt real!
I couldn’t help but smile at this statement, although desperately also trying to hold onto reality. He’d been saying that so many times by now, I almost forgot that I was only his for the week.
A wonderful week, that was coming to an end…
I bit my lips, hiding my face under his chin and rested my head on his chest. As if sensing my needs, his arm tucked around me, keeping me securely flushed against his firm body. His fingers lazily drawing random patterns on my skin. Sparks flying everywhere he touched.
That’s when I first realized, that I never felt that, when I was with Kevin…
I let my mind roam and wonder why, but didn’t come to any definite conclusion. In fact, my mind started to wonder off to dreamland. Feeling Xyen’s soothing touches, having just relived the darkest moments in my life, sleep was really all I wanted…
“You’re fucked up,” Xyen suddenly said, breaking the silence that had settled between us. I scoffed.
“Look who’s talking…”
“I’m serious, Lizzy,” he continued, tilting my head so that my eyes met his electric blue orbs. Lingering with concern and care. A look that had been absent for most of my life. “The reason you challenge me and worked at a strip club in LA is the same reason why you don’t flinch when I grab your throat or hold a gun to your head,” he said in a serious, yet deep and calm tone.
“You want me to do it!”
My heart sank when the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. He was right. I wanted to die! I’d been wanting to for a long time, but…
“You want me to end your life, because you’re too afraid to do it yourself…”
And there it was. Again! I wanted to die, I had nothing to live for--- But I was a coward. A cowered that betrayed her father and brother. A coward that let her baby be taken away…
“I’m not afraid!” I shouted and pushed him away, although I knew it was pointless. It was the truth! I didn’t have the guts to end my own worthless life…!
“That’s not the point!” he grinded between clenched teeth and suddenly shifting our bodies, so he was on top of me. His eyes shifted from anger to pity. His voice calm when he continued: “You shouldn’t be wanting to die, Liz!”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him.
“And what do I have to live for, ha?!” I countered, hating that he felt pity for me. I didn’t need his fucking pity--- not knowing, he wasn’t pitying me. He simply knew the feeling of helplessness and how meaningless life felt after a betrayal like that.
What it felt like, when someone you loved betrayed you.
Hurt you.
Broke you…
I tried to get out of his hold, but it was useless. With a cry of defeat, I turned back to face him. My chest heaving with from heavy panting.
“I lost EVERYTHING!” I screamed just as tears started to run down my face. But his hold didn’t loosen, and his look didn’t change. He knew I needed this. I needed to confess…
“I helped them kill my father and brother and they took my baby!” I was sobbing mess at the end of the sentence. “And they don’t fucking care!” I closed my eyes, not being able to face him anymore. “My lover has a mate. And my brother has a mate, because every fucking werewolf in this world has a MATE!” I knew it was different for them. It was easy. The one someone, who’d be by their side forever. Someone that loved and cared for them. They’d never be alone.
While I was doomed to be alone forever!
“They’ll never choose me,” I hiccupped. “I don’t belong in your world. I don’t belong in the human world, I don’t belong anywhere!” My throat closed in on itself, making my last words barely audible: “So why would it be so bad if I just want to die, ha?”
Silence followed at the end of my rant. The only sound available was the beating of my heart and Xyen’s breathing. Tears were falling freely from my eyes. I didn’t even have the strength to try and stop them.
I was weak…
So weak, I couldn’t even end my own miserable existence…
“Tell me,” I whispered, desperate for anything I could hold on to. Anything… For something to guide me. To save me. To be my light.
“I can’t tell you that, Lizzy,” he said, his voice deep and laced with the unshed tears he held for me.
“You just have to live for yourself.”
I was shocked to hear my own words slap my face. My heart compressed and it physically hurt, when it beat against my chest. The lump in my throat felt like it was made of needles. I felt so low. Not only did my body feel heavy and exhausted, but mentally I felt so--- pointless!
Like I was less than human.
I sighed, defeated and beat.
I just wanted to rest…
As if sensing my mood, Xyen lowered his body so I felt every inch of him press against mine. His lips tenderly kissed my wet cheeks.
“You’re enough, Lizzy,” he whispered, his lips gracing my earlobe, making my breath hitch. His arms snuck around me, pulling me into his firm chest. He kissed the top of my head one final time. “Sleep now,” he said with a firm voice. And as if his words had been laced with a drug, my eyelids flutter shut. I fell asleep and entered a dreamless realm, that offered nothing but sweet rest and blissful oblivion.
I didn’t wake up again, until Xyen suddenly shifted. His head had dropped from its upright position and fell into his chest, waking him up with a startle. He quickly looked around and his lazy eyes turned into a blissful smile, the second they landed on me.
“Morning beautiful,” his husky and rough voice offered. I grinned.
A girl could get used to a wake-up like that…
“Morning handsome,” I replied, just as my eyes glided over the clock on the nightstand. “Although the correct term would be ‘afternoon’,” I mused, as it was almost dinnertime. And suddenly I remembered. “Hey, wasn’t there some meeting this afternoon?”
“There was,” Xyen smirked and before I knew it, his lips claimed mine. I couldn’t help but moan into the wonderful feeling of total surrender in his arms. Xyen grinned – satisfied – before he broke off the kiss: “I had my beta take care of it.”
I murmured a reply. I felt rested. My chest felt strangely light and although familiar, dark though still swarmed my mind, it felt like they lost their hold on my being.
I felt free…
“Can he take care of things for a little while longer?” I asked, moving closer into him. His darkening eyes matched the want in my own. He leaned down. His lips just a breath from mine—when the door to the room suddenly burst open…
“ALPHA!”
Xyen growled loudly, making the man, who interrupted us – a man I recognized as the beta – pale in fright and halt his approach. When he noticed our position, he instantly lowered his eyes, just as I scrambled to cover myself with the sheets.
Well, this was embarrassing…
“Wyatt,” Xyen growled warningly at his beta. His eyes as black as night. “If I’m ignoring you when you mind-link me, I want to be left alone.”
“I know,” Wyatt gulped and the fear in his eye, was just as much of his alpha, as the news he had to bring to him. “But we have a problem!”