SWNOVELS Chapter Twenty-One
This chapter contains description of physical abuse – you have been warned!
Flashback
“Lizzy! I don’t want you seeing him,” Derik growled hovering above me.
“Because wolves have mates, I know,” I ended his statement before he did and groaned. This wasn’t the first time I was in the office like this and it definitely wasn’t the first time I’d heard Derik’s “wolves have mates”-speech. I’m pretty sure I knew it by heart after hearing it over and over again for the last year I and Kevin dated.
“Liz I’m serious,” he growled, not all too happy with the disrespect I was showing him. “One of you is going to end up hurt and considering the facts, it’ll most likely be you!”
His words stung and instantly I lowered my head, so he didn’t see the unshed tears I was trying to hold back. I know he was telling the truth. And werewolves ALWAYS had mates. I knew this.
But I loved him…
“Liz,” Derik sighed rubbing the brim of his nose. “I just don’t want to see you hurt!”
I know he didn’t. Over time, he’d grown into something of a hybrid between a big brother/dad and I could always go to him, if I needed help or advice. I knew Mindy hated my guts, but Derik refused to kick me out of the pack. I was more than just his responsibility; I was his sister and he always treated me as such.
But---
Kevin and I openly dated although it was frowned upon for wolves to be with someone who wasn’t their mates. Or at least that was true when the girl wasn’t another wolf--- or, you know--- just a female!
But Kevin never once seemed to be bothered by it. He said, that people will always talk and there’s really nothing you could do about it.
He accepted me!
Or at least that’s what I thought…
Later I met Kevin in his room. I needed him and he didn’t exactly complain when I threw myself at him. Thinking back, I always wondered if that was the real reason, he kept me around… I was always willing to give him what he wanted. Anything and anytime. Almost afraid to say no, if he didn’t want me after…
“What will you do when you meet your mate?” I questioned, tilting my head to meet his brown orbs. He studied me with a surprised expression. He leaned against the headboard, his arms resting behind his head while he thought about it for a while. In the meantime, butterflies and nerves were turning me into somewhat a psychotic bitch. I was glad that he took his time thinking about it – at least I knew the answer he gave me would be sincere. But another part of me was boiling mad--- because what were there to possibly think about?!
It was his mate! His one and only--- was he really thinking about… us? A life with… ME? As much as I tried not to be: I was hopeful…
Before long, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, first I have to tell her I have a girlfriend, that I love very, very much,” He said, smiling down at me. My heart skipped a beat and my stomach did all kinds of salsa. Love? He loved me?! “Then I’ll probably be rejected, because…,” he grinned, sneaking an arm around me, pulling my face close to his. His brown, warm eyes trailing the soft skin of my lips. “Well, mates don’t particularly like girlfriends; not matter the species.”
He gave my lips a light peak, leaving my body soaring on cloud nine.
“You love me?” I questioned.
He looked at me, a mysterious smile lingering at the corner of his lips. His warm brown eyes, sending shivers down my spine.
“With all of my heart,” he replied, gently caressing my cheek. My heart fluttered and my stomach turned into a hoard of butterflies. And for the life of me, I couldn’t stop smiling.
This was the first time, he said he loved me…
“I love you too,” I whispered, feeling truly happy for once in my life. He kissed me again and we made more passionate love. And for a while, things were good. I almost forgot about mates and werewolves and all my problems…
Until one day I walked into the packhouse--- and saw Kevin kiss another girl.
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. For a while, everything was just--- not there. Time, space… Everything was just still. Even sound had been removed from the picture.
There was just a void.
And it was me…!
“Kevin?”
My voice barely recognizable to my own ears. It was weak and rough, like I’d been smoking for 80 years. I didn’t even notice the tears that were beginning to form at the corner of my eyes.
They both looked up. The girl somewhat blushed, being caught in a situation like that. While Kevin couldn’t stop smiling! He looked at me, like I was nothing but air to him…
“What-what’s the meaning of this?”
“Lizzy,” he replied, not a shred of guilt in his beaming face. “This is-This is my mate, Lilly.” He flashed her his infamous smile, completely captured by her beauty and innocent face. Not even realizing how my heart was shattering…
“I’ve finally found her!”
“No,” I protested, my heart and mind battling over my body. “She can’t be! I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to be with me!”
Thinking back--- it was pathetic! I was pathetic, but…
I loved him! I just wanted him to be mine. For something to call my own…
“He’s my mate!” the she-wolf sneered, taking a step toward me. But I met her head on. I wasn’t afraid to stand up for myself. I was still strong back then--- although the correct word would be naïve!
“It doesn’t matter,” I barked back, feeling braver than ever. “You can’t steal someone else’s boyfriend! That’s cheating!”
“It’s not cheating when I’m his mate!”
“Says the other woman!”
“You bitch,” she hissed and then she launched at me. Clearly underestimating me. She could tell I was human. What she didn’t account for, was my training. With her holding back and me not scared to break a bone, I embraced her challenge…
She hit my gut, but I was ready for her. Ignoring the pain, I grabbed her hair and let her face connect with my knee. She screamed--- and I felt a sick satisfaction with it.
A second later I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, spinning me around with lighting speed. A fist connected with the side of my face. My head turned at the force and my vision went black. Pain shot through my body and my confused mind couldn’t make sense of it. How did she…?!
Another hit connected with the side of my face and sent me flying across the floor. I didn’t stop, until my back connected with the wall.
My head was spinning. I’d been hit before, but not with a force like that. Raw and full of anger. Disgust and rage. Out of instinct, I tried to get back up. Only to double over, when another punch landed in my stomach, turning my insides into supe.
Suddenly a firm grip coiled around my neck and my feet were lifted off the ground. I tried to fight to get free. My fingers clawing at the hand gripping me. But with a blurred vision and quickly running out of air, I was afraid--- this was it!
I was going to die!
“Don’t,” a deep, male voice growled so close to my face, I could taste his breath on my lips. My heart skipped a beat. I--- I knew that voice! “Ever touch my mate again, you worthless piece of shit!”
I felt my heart hit the pit of my stomach.
Kevin!
I forced my eyes open. I couldn’t believe it. Kevin? The man I loved was--- he was… But the rage in his face and his unforgiving eyes were all the proof I needed. He hated me. He didn’t care if I lived or not…
Suddenly he let go and I fell to the floor. Gasping for air, I didn’t pay attention to them leaving. My body was aching all over. The pain wasn’t the worst part. I could take a hit. Even that from a werewolf. But this--- this was different. This was Kevin…
With shaking hands, I reached up, carefully touching my neck and cheek. The pain shot through me like fire. And with that one touch, something inside me broke. My body went cold. My stomach became a hard knot. And my heart shattered.
He hit me!
Someone I loved--- someone I trusted had hurt me. Someone who had promised to protect me and keep me safe. Someone who said he loved me…
He broke me…
I felt myself being pushed into a corner, not even realizing it was me doing it. Almost as if my body suddenly now believed that I was in danger, and I needed to protect myself. I tried to make myself as small as possible, gasping for air, as tears pooled down my face. I wanted to scream, but my voice was gone. And perhaps that was a good thing too. If I had been able to scream, I would have screamed away the last of my sanity…
I froze, when I heard footsteps approaching.
Kevin…?!
As crazy as it sounds, I hoped it was him! Perhaps he was back to say sorry. That he loved me, that he was sorry that---
“I told you so,” Derik’s voice somehow reached my mind. And with that, everything inside me went cold. Not only did he open my eyes, to the inevitable truth, but he’d been there all along. He stood by – and did nothing – while Kevin abused me.
To teach me a lesson in what it was like to be a wolf…
I scoffed. A dry and humorless laughter racked through my body.
Oh. My. Goddess!
How stupid can you be, Lizzy! He’s a wolf. He has a mate. Kevin has his mate. They’ll never chose you! You’re not one of them. You’re not someone’s mate! You’re not even a wolf. You’re the enemy! You’re a Hunter! They’ll never see you as anything, but a disgusting waist of air…
With everything I had in me, I crawled back onto my feet. My body was shaking, and my legs felt like jello, but I did it. I picked myself back up.
And swore to myself, NO man was ever going to knock me down again…
“Lizzy…,” Derik sighed and stepped forward. He tried to take my arm, but I quickly snatched it away. I didn’t hate him. I just---
I couldn’t do this anymore!
I went to my room and packed my bag.
*
The Precent
“When you’ve been hurt like that you to hold on to that hurt,” I sighed into Xyen’s chest. “You wear it like a shield so the second time they hurt you, it doesn’t get to you the same way. And you continue like that until they make you feel nothing at all. If you expect them to hurt you, they don’t knock you down…”