13/13/13

Ceaser Chopped Off Three of His Toes

Dydorq ZDV d qlfh sodfh WKDW bhdu...

Tyrone would like to say that the sight of Red in danger helped him find his ‘inner warrior’. That he beat the creature to a bloody pulp, got a smooch from Red, walked away in slow-mo from an explosion, and rode off into the sunset with her. A perfect Hollywood ending.

Tyrone would like to say all that happened, but all he CAN say is how full of Skrag Hollywood is.

Surprise, surprise! A supernatural creature, with years of combat experience, inhuman strength and skill, easily overpowered a couple of kids. Who knew?

Apparently, the reason the creature had been covered in bandages the last time, was because he had many severe injuries, which evened the odds for Red. At least, that was the theory that went through Tyrone’s rattled and bloodied head as they were forced to stand, strung up by their hands, and left dazed and dangling as the creature got out his knives and monologued about how he was going to skin them alive.

“A shame I won’t get your daddies skin, but a junior alexandria will make my fellow Skinwalkers just as green with envy! HA! I especially can’t wait to see the smug grin whipped off the ‘L.A. Tanner’s’ face. Honestly, the guy captures and skins a retired navy-seal 5 years ago, AND HE WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT! Seriously, what have you done lately, hot shot? I mean come on! What’s a sickening abomination like me gotta do to-

While he blabbed on; Tyrone tried to ignore the agonizing pain skyrocketing through his body. He busied himself with both filing away every scrap of info this wacko gave out, and figuring out a way to at least save Red. Sadly on the latter, the only thing his shaken mind could produce… was a new cake recipe?

“Great, after he kills us. He can use it for a celebration.” Thinks Tyrone bitterly.

The ‘Skinwalker’ went over to Red. “I don’t know about you, but I’m in the mood for breasts!” He mocks as he teasingly makes a few ‘practice stabs’ at Red’s chest, before finally breaking the skin with a real one.

Red cries out in pain as the creature starts to slowly slice into her mammary, while Tyrone helplessly begs him to stop.

The begging seems to get to the beast, he stops and then turns to Tyrone. “I’m sorry my boy, how thoughtless of me. Which one would you like to eat first? Left or Right?”

Tyrone never got a chance to respond, for at that moment-

BANG!

The first thing Alax knew after the shot was that he was covered in blood. The second thing he realized was that it WASN’T his blood.

Ivan Vladimir’s mocking smirk was still prominent on his face, well, on the half that hadn’t just been reduced to a mist of blood and gray matter, anyway.

All around him chaos reigned. The four greatest crime families on earth were being violently gunned down by black helicopters and men in black business suits appearing out of thin air.

Alax groaned and glared at the still-warm corpse of Ivan.

“You could’ve put me out of my misery with a quick bullet to the head, but NO! You had to waste precious seconds monolouging like the ridiculous cliché that you were.”

Thinks Alax bitterly to himself as his ‘saviors’ gunned down monster and mundane alike.

....

The Skinwalker cursed as he watched his allies get ripped to pieces from the window. “Dang Templars! Well, I can still get a consolation prize!” He shouts as he grabs the two kids. He grabbed a special charm he’d brought and whisperd into it, calling on it’s magic.

“This better work like the gypsy said, or I’ll... well, I already slit his throat- Whatever, let’s just go!”

In their dazed state, Tyrone and Red could barely understand the kaleidoscope of colors that began to appear around them. They were even less able to comprehend when they were suddenly flying through the air-

WHAM!

They WERE able to comprehend the feeling of slamming into a wall of some sort.

The Skinwalker screamed as he also smacked against ‘something’, his ‘prizes’ were ripped from him, and he finds himself thrown into the pavement of some unknown part of town.

He glared as his charm burnt up in his hands as he popped his nose back into place. “Curse you Cristos! I’ll get revenge on you! Even- if- I-

Just as quickly as his bravado flared, it deflated. “Oh, who am I kidding? This was my best shot. Even backed by four major crime families, this was a daunting task when I was just facing the Cristos! Now that the Templars are involved-

He shook his head. “Nope, revenge is good. But survival is great! In fact, it might be time for yours truly to relocate to a new burrow.” And just like that, the Serial Killer pulled out a traveling brochure, walked into the night, and out of this story…

....

Meanwhile, in another part of town-

“Its official, our lives suck.” Thought both Red and Tyrone as they crawl out of the overturned manure truck they’d landed in.

Echelon( Pay attention now, there’ll be test... probably not. Templar ranking from lowest to highest: Seraphim, Cherubim, Ophanim, Kyriotētes, Virtues, Potestates, Principalities, Echelon- the highest ranking Templars that handle the day-to-day affairs of the Templar Order- Arch-Echelons- members of the Templar council; the highest political body that all other Templars must obey- Guardians- I- WHOOP! FORGET YOU SAW THIS! SPOILERS!) Ptolomey was not in a good mood. He doubted that any of his fellow Templars were in a good mood. They’d have to be crazy to be in a good mood after the last 24 hours had effectively destroyed their organizations several-thousand-year mission! The magic was back! The Masquerade(‘The Masquerade’ is the codename Templars give to their job of keeping the supernatural covered up and a secret from the Mundanes(people who are neither Templars nor magic user... hey don’t look at me like that, I’m not the one who names this garbage...)) was broken!

Several Seraphim and Cherubim saluted him as he headed further into their makeshift. A Kyriotētes came up and started walking with him.

“Talk to me.” Stated Ptolomey flatly as he kept walking. The Kyriotētes struggled to keep up with his superior’s brisk pace.

“We’ve confirmed that this ‘ambush’ was set up by the Skinwalker known as the ‘New York Butcher’ to the Mundanes. Although we hadn’t set up the barrier quick enough to prevent him from ‘porting’ out of here, our scanners indicate he hit it mid-construction and was knocked off course, but we have no idea where.” He admits ashamed.

Ptolomey waved a hand dismissively. “Forget him, he’s not the priority right now; what happened to the kids?”

The Kyriotētes sighed. “The Occult Forensics team has confirmed that the Skinwalker tried to take them with him, but they got separated mid-collision and were sent to a different location. Unfortunately-

“You don’t know where they went either.” Finished Ptolomey in resigned -and slightly annoyed- dignity.

“We have our best trackers on it now!” Stated the Kyriotētes reassuringly.

“But you have no leads?” Guessed Ptolomey.

“Not presently, no...” Admitted the Kyriotētes reluctantly.

Ptolomey rubbed his face as he kept walking. “Right, just keep looking. We might need them if the ‘negotiation’ falls through.” Stated the high-ranking Templar commander as he stepped into the make-shift tent and sees a handcuffed Alix waiting for them.

“Don’t suppose there’s any chance you rescued us simply out of the kindness of your heart?” Alix asked with resigned skepticism.

Ptolomey didn’t answer. He was too busy yelling at the Kyriotētes for bringing him the wrong Christos...

“Huh, funny how all the adventure stories I read as a child failed to mention all the pain, terror and skrag you had to wade through.” Thinks Red sardonically as she tries to shower.

First thing they did when leaving the septic wreckage was steal medical supplies from a nearby store to treat Red’s wound. Fortunately, despite the pain, the wound itself was actually not that bad.

They then took refuge in a nearby semi-collapsed gym. They filled up on clean water from a broken pipe, then put up some makeshift curtains to separate while they washed themselves and their clothes in peace.

Finally, the water ran out. Red sighed, she grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around herself and stepped over to the fire where their ‘clothes’ (for lack of a better word) were drying.

For a brief moment, Red’s mischievous mind gained the idea of ‘accidentally’ knocking over the pole holding Tyrone’s loincloth up, thus letting it drop into the fire and leaving him with nothing. But she immediately squashed that thought, the situation was bad enough without her making things worse.

She looked as Tyrone came out of the curtain, awkwardly clutching his towel to himself to make sure it didn’t fall off. He, too, sat on a overturned bucket by the fire, opposite of where she was.

Neither said anything, what was there to say?

Red once more looked over at her best friend clad in just a towel. She still felt no physical attraction toward him, yet the whole thing had a certain... ‘Forbidden Fruit’ appeal to it. So very hard to ignore.

Red flushed, ordinarily she’d indulge in those urges without a second thought, but there was just something about breaking the taboos put down by society. A rush, a high, call it whatever you wanted, it was awesome.

Entice him closer, you’ve both had a long day. He won’t resist. It’ll be a dream come true for him, he’s earned it, YOU’VE earned it.

But this... no, this wasn’t some random pedestrian, jerk guy, or snob! This was Tyrone! This was her friend! She would never take advantage of him just to get her ‘sick kicks’. Especially when her feelings toward him were so confused.

-”I’m sorry Red”

This snapped Red out of her internal struggle. “What?” Asked Red confused.

“Not only was I useless saving you, but now were stuck in some war-torn corner of New-York, and I have nothing to help us!”

Tyrone growled frustrated. “GAH! I literally had a whole pack especially outfitted for just this sort of situation, and all I came to you with is a loincloth!? I’m such an idiot! Why didn’t I stop by my room first to get them instead of just running blindly to your place like a maniac!?!”

“Hey, you thought trouble was coming and your first and only thought was making sure I was safe!” Reassured Red. “Which was really sweet! I really appreciate it!” She then gets a teasing smirk. “Besides, had you gone to your room first. I probably would have ended up trapped all by lonesome without my ‘partner in crime’ to help me out.” She playfully nudged him with her elbow on that last bit.

Tyrone frowned. “Well, I guess that’s true... but I couldn’t protect-

“Oh, for the love of- TYRONE! In case you’ve forgotten, he beat me up too! If you’re useless, then so am I!” Feeling playful, she leans tantalizingly close to Tyrone, making sure her damp towel was hugging all the right places while doing so. “-and you don’t think I’m useless do you?” She says in her best sensual voice.

Tyrone goes bright red and begins to stutter. “Uh- Well- I-”

“HA! You’re too easy man! Give me a challenge at least!” laughs Red as she playful punches him in the arm, knocking him off the bucket.

Despite the situation, Tyrone couldn’t help but laugh too. “Oh, you’re gonna get it now Red!” Shouts Tyrone as he excitedly jumped back on to his feet to throw a damp sponge at her-

rip

For a brief moment, Tyrone just stood still, perhaps hoping that if he didn’t acknowledge it, it wouldn’t be true.

But the cold breeze between his legs was quick to prove that, yes; his towel had been snagged, leaving the poor boy exposed, in full view of his crush.

A mortified Tyrone covered himself, but the damage was already done.

“Wow, that could not have backfired more horribly.” Thinks a flustered and awkward Red as she struggles to keep herself from bursting out in laughter.

Ptolemy groaned as they brought in a more-than-a-little roughed up Alax. They’d just managed to get to him before more than a few blows had been rained, while leaving Alix to suffer in his place.

“Sorry about the mixup, but in our defense your names are confusing. Maybe one of you should consider talking with a lisp or something that could make it easier to tell you apart?” He asked sincerely.

Alax just sighed. “So what is this about?”

Ptolemy nodded. Straight to the point, just like his file indicated. “Well, long story short, we know that your father is behind the current catastrophe that the world now finds itself in the middle of.”

Alax groaned, but composed himself. “And I’m guessing the reason why my brother is currently getting the ‘bad Templar’ treatment while I’m getting the ‘good Templar’ is because you’re ‘almost’ certain that Alix is involved, but certain that I’m not involved?”

Ptolemy nodded. “But of course! Think what you will of our rather brutal methodology, but we’re not savages, well, not anymore anyway.” He said that last bit in good humor.

Alax sighed. He felt bad about what was happening to his brother right now, but he had to focus on keeping Sky and Tyrone safe. And he’d be lying if the ‘he helped dad nearly kill my son’ thing wasn’t still a big factor here.

Alax shakes his head. “Look, I’ll tell you what I know, but it isn’t much. As you’re, no doubt aware, I don’t really keep in touch with him.”

Ptolemy nodded. “We are aware of that, thank you.” He then shuffled through his files. “Any little bit you can tell us will help. We’d also appreciate it if you could tell us the location of your older brother Alix-

“You mean AlEx, and good luck!” Says Alax with a chuckle. “He won’t be found unless he wants to be, he always gives me a different one-use-only phone number each time he comes during holidays, but he forgot to give me a new one after he visited for Christmas this time.”

Ptolemy sighed. “Well, give us what you can. After a few more hours, you and your wife will be free to go.”

Alax’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t like this. This was going too well for him. But not knowing what else to do, he thanked him and gave Ptolemy whatever information he could.

Ptolemy then brought up another file. “One last quick thing, is it safe to assume you’d like an update on your son and his friend?”

Suddenly, he had Alax’s full attention. Quickly, Ptolemy briefed Alax of the situation.

“Now ordinarily, we’d be happy to send a search party to find them, but the current global situation has left our forces stretched thin, and our resources taxed to the breaking point, making it very hard for me to justify such an endeavor to my superiors.”

And there it is- Thought Alax in resignation. “And what would it take to justify it?” Asked Alax politely while fighting the urge to punch this man’s face in.

Ptolemy smiled smugly. “Funny you should ask...”

Ptolemy whistled a merry tune. Today was going rather well -possible end of the world, notwithstanding. The information he’d gotten from the Christos brothers gave them some good leads on their father, he’d conscripted Alex- Alix- Alax- The retired Cristos brother, (Creator help him, their names were confusing) as a mercenary. And it was pretty much a given that the other brother would join as well- after he was healed of course.

Ptolemy sighed as said brother was wheeled away on a stretcher. He really didn’t agree to the ‘thrashing’ that was given to those who are merely guilty by ‘association’. Thrashing, when proven guilty ‘enough,’ he could go with, but this seemed needlessly excessive. But there was nothing he could do about that. It was one of the many ‘compromises’ they had to make to appease the ‘old guard’(Let’s just get this out of the way; Old guard: Destroy all magic no matter the cost. New guard: Simply want to keep magic from harming the Mundane’s and maintain the Masquerade. Old Guard: Kill all magic users and their families. New guard: conscript all magic users into their ranks and leave their family- mostly -alone. Old Guard: Sees all magic as evil. New Guard: Wants to understand magic, study it, incorporate it to make their job fighting the supernatural easier, and ONLY destroy the truly dangerous, irremediable magic. Basically; New guard is more ‘morale’ than the old guard. Of course, you could use the same logic to say a cockroach is more edible then a rock, so make of that what you will.).

BOY! I WANT A WORD WITH YOU!

“Speak of the Cancerous...” Thinks Ptolemy, suddenly very depressed, as he forces his best smile, as he turns to his approaching superior; Arch-Echelon Alistaire.

Alistaire was a devout member of the ‘old guard.’ And like most of them, he was cantankerous, stubborn, heavy-handed, and murderous. All traits that Ptolemy was glad to say he hadn’t inherited.

“How Mom is able to put up with him all year round I’ll never know.” Thought a melancholy Ptolemy as he prepared himself for the imminent ‘war of words’ between him and his father.

“Can I not catch a break?” Whimpered Tyrone to himself as he sat their covering his wet, shivering body, even though he knew full well his crush had already seen his... ‘defect’.

Meanwhile, Red’s mind raced. She knew she had to do something quick. Tyrone was clearly devastated, this was beyond awkward. Also it was taking all her self-restraint to not giggle at the ‘proof’ that puberty had not been generous to her friend.

And that’s when the full day hit her. She had seen a nude giant, her apartment had gotten trashed, mobsters had tried to kill her friend’s father, a monster tried to eat her breasts, her friend was forced to wear a ridiculously skimpy loincloth, the list went on.

“Skrag it, the days already crazy enough, I’ve already messed this up, why not go down in a blaze of glory?” Thought Red as she, once more, tries to have ‘fun’.

SMACK!

OW!

Tyrone didn’t know what was more shocking, Red yanking off her own towel and exposing herself to him-

SMACK!

OW!

Or the fact she was snapping him with said towel!

OW! Cried out Tyrone again as he tried to run while covering his junk.

“Come on buddy! Fight back!” She cried out with mirth. The whole thing was inappropriate, crazy, and weird, but dang if it Red wasn’t the happiest she’d been in days!

And despite himself, Tyrone was feeling the same way! Feeling delightfully ludicrous, Tyrone uncovers himself and throws some nearby sponges at her! Red comically pretended to be hurt by them.

This gave Tyrone the opportunity to snatch up his own towel and snap her as well. They playfully snap each other back and forth. Red then grabs a nearby bucket of water to dump on him. Tyrone shivered, giving Red the perfect opportunity to grab him, and tickle him until he cried!

(snort) Stop! (HA!) Please! (Giggle) I’M GONNA PEE!” Pleaded Tyrone.

“Say Uncle!” Demanded Red. “Say it! Say Uncle!”

“Uncle.”

Whispered an unfamiliar voice into their ears right before strange tentacles melted from the shadows and ensnared them.

And just like that, their lives sucked again.

....