Zodiac Academy 6: Fated Throne

Stepping out of King’s Hollow for my first day back at school since I’d been brought back to myself felt like slipping from one reality to the next. I couldn’t be myself anymore. But I wasn’t Lionel’s pet version of myself either. Even my memories of the time I’d spent serving Lionel’s goals were thick with a fog of shadows over them and it was hard for me to fully recall the way I’d been behaving. Not to mention the idea of taking part in K.U.N.T. enforcement made my stomach turn. Fuck my life.

I adjusted my blazer as I walked, the material feeling claustrophobic as I drew in a long breath then released it again. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay to do this?’ Darcy murmured, taking my hand and giving my fingers a squeeze.

‘I’m the asshole who went running right into Lionel’s trap, remember?’ I teased, though my gut knotted with anxiety. Not only that but Diego had died too and if I’d just done more to confirm that Darcy really had been missing then neither of us would have walked into that trap. I may never have ended up in Lionel’s clutches and Diego might still be alive. ‘I brought this on myself.’

‘Don’t say that, Tor,’ Darcy breathed and I shrugged.

‘At least I’m in the perfect position to spy on him now,’ I said, trying to remind myself of all the reasons I had to give myself to this role completely. ‘Besides, shadow Tory was a total dick – it’s not that much of a leap for me to embrace her nature.’

‘Stop that,’ Darcy laughed, slapping my arm as I smirked at her. It felt good to joke about it even if I was internally shitting myself. 

‘It’s true. And maybe I can channel that dickish behaviour onto some people who deserve it while I’m working undercover.’

‘Just don’t take any risks. And remember, we can meet back here tonight, so you’re not really alone, even if it might feel like you are while you’re playing this part.’

‘Don’t worry about me,’ I said, giving her a smile that I knew was too bright before pulling her into a hug. ‘I’d better go on alone now though. Can’t have anyone seeing us socialising.’

‘Imagine the scandal,’ she deadpanned as I released her and I gave her one last smile before turning and walking away into the trees.

I passed through the various wards and spells which were in place around King’s Hollow to keep the weaker students away and tried not to let my nerves get the better of me as I headed for The Orb.

My stiletto heels clicked along the path and I lifted my chin as I walked, narrowing my eyes a little and letting my resting bitch face do the work of keeping the other students away from me.

I didn’t give anyone my attention for any length of time, and I tugged on my connection to the shadows to help keep me calm as the golden building appeared through the trees ahead of me.

As I stepped out of the wood, I set my gaze on the doors to The Orb and almost didn’t notice as Darius appeared, jogging up the path which led back towards Ignis House wearing a pair of black shorts and sneakers and nothing else.

My heart thumped in recognition of him and I stole a moment to run over all the reasons why I knew I shouldn’t fear him. Max had helped me reclaim my happy memories of him for the most part, but he’d said the knee jerk fear I felt at Darius’s presence wasn’t going to be so easy to fix. I’d been conditioned to associate the sight or even mention of him with pain and violence. The only real way for me to get over that was by exposing myself to him repeatedly until I just learned not to feel it anymore. Easier said than done. Especially when the mere sight of him had me wanting to call on every drop of magic in my body to protect myself and had all of my muscles locking up instantly.

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the real memories I had of running with Darius and wanting to see him in the mornings like this and using them to centre me. When I opened them again, I felt a little more in control and I blew out a breath as I made myself continue towards The Orb.

We reached the door at almost the same moment and I stilled as he placed a hand on it to keep it closed before casting a look over his shoulder to make sure no one was nearby.

‘Morning, Roxy,’ he said in that low, rough voice of his and I chewed on my bottom lip as I found myself caught between the urge to run from him and move closer. The strangest thing was, I was fairly certain that had always been the way I felt about him. It had nothing to do with anything Lionel had subjected me to.

Darius’s expression was guarded as he looked down at me, seeming to be trying to assess how I was taking this unexpected meeting and I wasn’t even certain myself, so I couldn’t exactly help him out either.

I wet my lips as I tried to quiet my thundering pulse and hunted down my voice which was hiding out somewhere in the back of my mind alongside my sanity which seemed to have departed several weeks ago.

‘Hi,’ I replied, not having anything better to say to him than that because I wasn’t even sure where to begin or if I’d even be able to find the words if I tried.

There was an endless chasm of time and unspoken pain between us and I wasn’t sure how to even start trying to bridge it, let alone if we could achieve that at all.

He paused, looking like he had a thousand words waiting to tumble from his lips but then he just pulled the door wide and held it open for me instead of speaking any of them. I managed not to flinch at the movement, but it was a hard won battle and I was pretty sure he noticed.

I stepped closer to him hesitantly, my pulse picking up the pace as I was enveloped in the masculine cedar and smoke scent of him. My gaze dipped to his inked torso for a moment and I paused as I spotted a new tattoo which curved over his left hip bone and disappeared beneath his shorts.

But before I could get a good look at it, he hitched his shorts an inch higher and hid it from view.

‘You’re gonna have to get my pants off if you wanna see that one, Roxy,’ he teased and I found myself replying before I could think it through.

‘Nice try, asshole.’

We both paused for a moment, looking at each other like we’d somehow stepped back in time and I offered him the briefest hint of a smile before moving inside, feeling his eyes on my back as I walked away. 

I tugged the shadows closer as I spotted the H.O.R.E.S. and K.U.N.T.s waiting for me, wondering what the fuck my life had come to to find myself heading into their company for the day.

I grabbed a tray and headed over to pick out my breakfast, my stomach growling loudly as I looked at the sweet pastries on offer and I remembered the bland meals I’d been eating over the last few months. The shadows were so consuming that they’d pushed out my desire for food and I’d forgotten to even eat at all half the time. But now that I was pushing them back, my appetite was returning with a vengeance.

I stacked cinnamon buns on my plate four high then moved along to the coffee machine where Darius was pouring out two mugs. He placed one on my tray as I hesitantly approached him and I stilled, looking down at it as my stomach knotted. All the memories of all the times he’d brought me coffee in the mornings came flooding back in on me at once and I was overwhelmed with the desire to reach out to him even while I fought off the desire to recoil from him.

Darius didn’t say anything else to me with so many people around and I had to ignore the urge to turn and watch him walking away with my heart pounding as I headed over to join the least desirable people in the room.

‘Did you hear?’ Mildred asked, crumbs flying from her mouth as she failed to finish chewing her food before speaking. 

I didn’t respond, assuming she wasn’t talking to me seeing as there were like eight other people sitting around her but as her little beady eyes swivelled over to look at me, I realised she was.

‘What?’ I asked, lifting my first cinnamon bun to my lips and forcing myself not to groan as I bit into it. Shadow bitch Tory didn’t take pleasure from anything except shadow torturing people, so I had to pretend my food wasn’t the best thing I’d eaten in months. But fuck me with a buttery bagel, this was good.

‘Daddy was involved in a Nymph raid on a Tiberian Rat nest last night. He caught six of the little squealers trying to run and lit them up like a bonfire!’ she gushed excitedly and suddenly the food in my mouth didn’t taste so great anymore.

‘He killed them?’ I asked, my tone harsher than it should have been and I hastily reached for the shadows to help deaden the rage that ignited in me as I had to fight not to leap to my feet and scream at her.

‘Of course! My family are nothing if not loyal to the crown and as the future queen, I am always encouraging him to go above and beyond in the name of our king. When me and snookums are married, I’ll personally help him eradicate any and all threats to the throne and our royal line to make sure our children have a clear route to a peaceful rule,’ Mildred said proudly.

My gut twisted at the thought of her impending nuptials with Darius and I was gifted a vivid memory of the time I’d punched her stupid troll face until she blacked out on the floor not far from here. I had a deep and urgent desire to do it again and the shadows rose up within me, hungering for that too.

“Good,” I ground out, knowing I had to seem pleased by her little announcement even as the word burned my tongue like acid on the way out.

With a force of will, I stood up and walked away from her, my face a mask of nothingness as the shadows pushed deeper into my veins and I found myself forgetting little by little. But I couldn’t afford to do that. I couldn’t lean into them too hard because if I let myself forget to feel anything again, I’d practically be back where I started. 

The K.U.N.T.s all started laughing behind me as Mildred began to reveal more details of her story and I pushed my way into the bathroom, not stopping until I was inside one of the stalls.

Shadows flickered behind my eyelids as I danced along the line of falling into them and I called on my Phoenix to help me push them back.

I needed to get a hold of myself and make it through the rest of the week amongst these people. Gabriel had told me that I’d be able to help us work against Lionel if I could keep my poker face in place, so I just had to focus on that. I wanted to get revenge on the man who had done this to me, and I was in the perfect position to help orchestrate that. I just had to keep my head in the game.

Besides, I had plenty of practice being an asshole. I could do that. I just needed to keep my emotions in check and my face blank. If Gabriel believed this was the best thing I could do to help us in our fight against Lionel right now then I’d do it. I trusted him. I just had to be careful with the shadows, make sure they didn’t drive themselves into me too deeply again and try not to give into them when I didn’t have to.

But as Mildred’s words echoed in my ears and my blood sang with the desire to march back out there and punish her for them, I found myself sinking into the dark again. The shadows were familiar now, comforting and calling me back to them with the promise of oblivion.

Maybe a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. I could just let them have me for a little while, wipe away this pain, take away my fear…

My Atlas buzzed in my pocket and I flinched at the interruption to my emotional meltdown, pulling it out with shaking fingers and frowning at the name on the ID.

Darius:

What are you wearing?

For a moment I couldn’t understand why he was asking me that – he’d literally seen me ten minutes ago and knew I was in my academy uniform. But then the twisted fog of my thoughts lifted a little, reminding me that we used to message each other a lot before Lionel took me. And his strange question was actually our own little greeting to each other which didn’t require a direct answer. It was just an opener.

I chewed on my lip as my gaze moved back and forth over the words and the frantic racing of my heart began to slow a bit.

I wanted to reply, but a shiver of fear moved along my spine at the idea too and I frowned as I found myself unable to form the words I needed to say to him. 

But that little message was exactly what I’d needed to drag me out of the shadows and help me see things clearly. I couldn’t dive into them now. I had to keep my head clear enough to remain myself. Mildred Canopus and the rest of the K.U.N.T.s would get their comeuppance one day soon, but in the meantime, I had to focus on playing the part I’d been forced into. We could use my position close to Lionel and Clara to our advantage and I needed to keep my attention fixed on that goal.

The door banged open outside my toilet stall and I drew in a shuddering breath as I fought my emotions back into line and unlocked the door.

I stepped out and came face to face with Xavier whose mouth dropped open as he spotted me, colour rising to his cheeks as he looked around the restroom in horror.

“Ah shit, am I in the ladies?” he groaned and I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped from my lips even as I fought back the urge to cry.

Fuck, I really needed to lock my shit down or I was going to ruin this plan before it even started.

“Are you…okay now, Tory?” he asked hesitantly, seeming to notice I was on the edge of some kind of brain malfunction and I guessed Darius had filled him in on the whole busting me out of the shadows situation.

I glanced at the door and flicked my fingers to cast air magic against it to keep it closed then threw a silencing bubble around us before I spoke.

“I don’t know about okay, but can we go with functioning and work from there?” I asked with a hesitant smile.

“That sounds a bit like me with my Elemental magic,” he joked. “Everyone expects me to be able to do magic the way Darius can even though he got four years of early training before he even came here – it’s a total nightmare.”

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” I said and he shook his head, causing glitter to tumble from his dark hair.

“It’s fine. I’ll get there. And in the meantime I don’t have to be in that fucking house – or palace now I guess. Point is, I’m here, I have a herd, I’m free. Or at least as free as I ever dreamed of being.”

I smiled at him, realising I had to look up at him now. He wasn’t just tall either, he was muscular too and his face had lost most of its boyish qualities. Genuine happiness washed through me and I found myself relaxing in his company. “I’m so pleased for you,” I said honestly.

“I never really got the chance to thank you for that,” he added.

“All I did was push you out of a window,” I teased but he shook his head, stepping forward and yanking me into a tight hug.

“No, Tory. You saved my life. You gave me…everything. I was too afraid to do what you pushed me to do alone but now I’m out of that house, away from those sessions he was making me have with Gravebone, I’m free to be the Pegasus I was born to be. And one day I’ll find a way to repay that debt to you.”

I smiled into Xavier’s blazer as he squeezed me hard enough to crush bones and something inside me seemed to settle. He was right, I had managed to do something good for him by showing the world what he was and freeing him from Lionel’s clutches. And if I was right by that monster’s side then I might have the chance to help someone else. I could listen to his secrets and use them all against him. For every life I managed to save and every plan of his I helped to sabotage, I’d be striking back against him. Little by little.

This feeling right here was what I needed to rely on to get me through the days of K.U.N.T. company and time spent by Lionel’s side. For every vile, stomach churning thing I had to listen to or witness, I would find a way to counter it with something good. I’d find a way to help. And then one day, we’d be ready to strike back at him and tear him from our throne.

“Thank you, Xavier,” I said, pushing out of his arms and giving him a fierce smile. “That was exactly what I needed today.”

“No problem,” he replied, not seeming to know what I meant by that, but he didn’t need to understand. The point was that I could do this. I could go back out there and play this part and no one would suspect a damn thing about where my true loyalties laid until it was too damn late.

I headed for the door, but Xavier called out to stop me before I could pull the door wide.

“Darius never gave up on you, you know that right?”

“What?” I breathed, the mixture of confusing emotions I felt towards his brother rising up in me again at the mere mention of his name.

“I just thought you should know. All the time Father had you, he spent every single minute searching for you, fighting back against the Nymphs, letting Darcy burn him half to death with Phoenix fire just to try and remove the shadows from his body so that he could challenge Father without Clara being able to stop him. It broke him losing you… So I guess what I’m saying is that I think you should give him the chance to make things right between you two. He’s been to hell and back losing you, Tory. Please don’t let Father win by keeping you away from him now.”

My lips parted on an answer, but I wasn’t sure what to say to him so I just nodded before dispersing the magic I’d used to hide us away in here and heading back out into The Orb.

I was going to have to spend some time figuring out what Darius was to me now. And what he’d been before. But everything about him had me feeling so confused as fear and pain mixed with hope and longing and it was too much for me to cope with all at once.

Right now I needed to just get through the week and perfect the shadow mask I had to wear. Because come Friday night I was heading back to the palace and I was going to need to fool the worst monster of them all. Lionel Acrux was my priority at the moment.

Darius was going to have to wait.