Zodiac Academy 5: Cursed Fates

Lately, I found myself staring out of the window or at the walls, my mind working over everything that had happened recently. Playing video games to escape reality didn’t appeal so much anymore. Maybe it was because reality was too loud these days, screaming in my ears and forcing me to pay attention. Or maybe it was because I realised how much of my life I’d been checked out for. And that sucked ass.

I always felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Like I was passing time until the inevitable moment where my cage door was opened and I found myself walking into freedom. But maybe that was just something I’d convinced myself of to make life more bearable. Because the reality was, Father was never going to let me go. Not now he knew my Order could bring shame on the entire family. And I didn’t know whether I was more frightened of being caged and hidden for the rest of my life or of the unexpected ‘accident’ I was going to one day have that led to my sudden, oh-so-fucking-tragic death.

I’d turned eighteen in December and if Father didn’t enrol me in an academy this year then he was going to have some explaining to do. And once questions started being asked, it would be harder for him to keep my secret. So with each passing day, I grew more fearful. Because right now, I had no power in my veins, no press taking an interest in my life and was in the perfect position to disappear. So maybe it wasn’t a matter of if Father was gonna kill me anymore, but when.

I skipped breakfast in favour of staying in my room, anxiously trying to come up with a plan. If I could only get Mother out of here. If we could run…find somewhere safe to go. But the one time she’d attempted to help me, Stella had caught her. And now Father would be expecting it. He’d have put more measures in place, more security on the grounds. This house was my prison and I didn’t want to die here. Not before I’d actually lived.

My phone pinged and my heart beat harder as I fished it off of the nightstand and dropped onto my bed. My skin started to shimmer and glitter as I found a message waiting for me from Sofia. I didn’t even try to suppress my Order as it hummed through my veins and sang a lulling tune to my heart. I needed to bask in it for just a moment, to take comfort in it. The need to shift was like an itch that grew to a burn. Every day became harder and harder. Sometimes I locked myself in the bathroom after a shower and shifted into my Pegasus form for a few minutes, gazing at my lilac reflection in the mirror and wondering what it would be like to fly.

I did it even more often since that day at the Palace of Souls with the Vegas, Lance and the Heirs. I coveted that day. I’d replayed it a thousand times in my head. Dreamed about it, relived each second. It made me feel defiant. And feeling defiant made it seem like I was taking action even if I wasn’t. But every extra minute I spent after my shower, staring at the shining silver horn that adorned my head, my chin lifted a little higher. And my soul burned a little brighter. I was a Pegasus. A big ass stallion of a Pegasus. And I was proud to be one.

Sofia:

I once flew through a thunderstorm and got hit by lightning.

I once got bitten by a Nemean Lion and nearly bled to death.

I have never gotten a grade lower than an A since I’ve been at Zodiac.

We’d been playing two truths and a lie for a couple of days and I was starting to run out of fun truths to give her. My life wasn’t exactly colourful. I’d done a sum total of zero adventurous things. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I’d never had the opportunity. I would totally fly through a thunderstorm given the opportunity. I’d try and ride a Nemean Lion shifter too for a laugh. But for that, I’d have to know people. And I didn’t need a calculator to count how many people I knew outside of my family these days.

After my Order had Emerged, Father had pulled me out of high school and given me a new phone, cutting me off from all my old friends. Not that I’d had a whole load of genuine people in my life back then. Half my class had sucked up to me because I was an Acrux and the other half had resented me for the same reason. Finding a real connection in this world was hard enough as it was when everyone was power hungry and looking for a way to ascend. When you were born into it, other Fae could smell it on you like freshly drawn blood. And it didn’t take long for the hyenas to circle.

I smirked as I picked out her lie. I’d gathered that she was smart and I dug that. But I had a feeling I knew the answer. And I reckoned she was badass enough to have lived through the other two.

Philip:

I bet Lance Orion doesn’t give straight As to anyone.

Sofia:

Very true! But he also doesn’t give grades full stop. It’s pass or fail with him. How do you know he’s a hardass anyway?

Philip:

He’s a family friend.

I hit send before I realised what I’d done. Shit. I wasn’t supposed to give out information like that. I was supposed to be Philip, not fucking Xavier. I tapped out another quick reply, my heart pounding out of rhythm. If I let this secret out and Sofia told other Fae, I was going to be in serious trouble. And I didn’t think a beating from my father would suffice this time.

Philip:

And when I say friend, I mean my cousin dated him for like a month once.

I rubbed my eyes, knowing that lie just didn’t cut it. Hopefully Sofia wouldn’t put two and two together. Darius had been the one to ask for help after all. And she wasn’t an idiot.

I despised lying to her. And I didn’t think she’d ever tell a soul about who I was, but I couldn’t risk it.

Sofia:

Cool. Well, you were right…I don’t get straight As. And that Nemean Lion bite hurt like a bitch – possibly more than the lightning 😉

I grinned stupidly at the screen, reading her message a couple of times before wondering how to continue with the game. There was only one truth on my mind at that moment. I’m so into you and the thing I hate most about my life right now is that I’ll never get to meet you.

I tossed my phone down onto the bed with a sigh, figuring I’d come up with something more light-hearted to reply later. Right then, it felt like I was going to bleed into my next message and I didn’t want my misery to touch Sofia. She was too sweet, too pure to be tainted by the darkness living in my life. No, I wanted to keep that behind firmly locked and sealed doors. She was my light, shining as brightly as all the stars put together. And I was never going to let that light dim.

A wild shriek caught my ear downstairs and I frowned at the far-off sound of Clara as she started shouting.

Curiosity got the better of me and I slipped off of my bed, heading out of my room and hurrying downstairs. Her voice carried from the dining hall and I moved toward it with my heart pounding like mad. Whenever Clara got worked up, I always worried how far off the handle she was gonna fly. Knowing she’d almost killed her own brother set me on edge around her, even more so than the fact that she was a freaking shadow bitch. If she was capable of hurting Lance, that made her capable of anything.

“No! No! No!” Clara cried and I peered through the crack in the door where it stood ajar. I didn’t wanna get involved in whatever the hell was going on in there. Especially because Clara gave me the creeps. But I’d promised Darius I’d give him any information I could if it seemed important. And something about this screamed important.

Clara was moving around the long wooden table, eyeing an array of objects laid across it. Daggers, gauntlets, chalices, even a huge, gleaming sword with gems inlaid into the hilt. Every time she picked one up, she tossed it across the room, shouting, “No!”

I caught sight of Father at the head of the table, his lips pressed into a thin line as he surveyed her.

Movement caught my eye and the Polarises stepped into view. Drusilla, Miguel and Alejandro.

Drusilla was a thin woman with short, tightly curling black hair and pale features; her husband was equally slim, his eyes gaunt and he had the air of someone with little to no backbone, always jumping into line at his wife’s every word. Drusilla’s brother Alejandro was the tallest of them all, his eyes cruel and his lips pinched beneath his thin moustache.

They’d been attending dinners with us for months and something about them set me on edge. Maybe it had to do with the weird ass knitwear they never took off. Drusilla always had on a pair of yellow woollen gloves, Miguel wore that ugly effing orange sweater like it was his favourite thing in the world and Alejandro’s red woollen scarf was a total contradiction to his bland appearance.

Or maybe it was the way Drusilla had an arctic presence about her or the way her husband’s eyes seemed to hold no light in them at all. When he sat still, he could almost pass for a corpse. He was currently flinching every time Clara shouted no and Drusilla’s chin lifted higher and higher like she was bursting to say something. Alejandro’s fingers flexed intermittently and he was the only one who didn’t look afraid.

“It’s not here,” Clara finally announced, slumping down dramatically in a chair like she was exhausted.

“We will make sure the search efforts are doubled,” Drusilla said firmly.

“We will find it,” Alejandro growled with conviction.

“You have been saying that for quite some time now,” my father said in a dangerous tone. “I have entertained this fantasy, but my patience is wearing thin.”

Drusilla bowed her head while Miguel quaked beside her. “Apologies, Lord Acrux. But I assure you, if you give us more time-”

Clara banged her hand against the table and my heart jolted. “Our king doesn’t have time to waste. He’s waiting on you before he acts.”

“I understand,” Drusilla said, nodding. “As I said, I can only apologise and promise to try harder.”

“I assure you I will get this charade under control, my lord,” Alejandro promised, cutting a sharp look at his sister.

“Or we can give up this fanciful affair and I can make my move tomorrow without its help,” Father said sharply and I swallowed the lump rising in my throat, wondering how long I could get away with standing here before I was discovered.

“Oh, but my king!” Clara’s voice suddenly changed to innocently sweet. She rose from her seat, placing her palm on his chest and running it down his shirt. “I feel that it’s out there. The shadows are seeking it too. You must hold out.”

Father’s gaze shifted to her and something akin to softness entered his gaze. Something I was sure I’d never seen angled at me or my brother. He lifted a hand, gripping her chin in what looked like a tight hold. “I can wait a little longer for such a gift, I suppose.”

She smiled like a cat, brushing her fingers up his arm and licking her lips. “It’ll be worthwhile, Daddy. I promise.”

I shuddered at that nickname.

Father looked to the Polarises. “You’re dismissed. Don’t just double your efforts, triple them. I want some tangible evidence of its existence within a week.”

“Yes, my lord,” Drusilla muttered and I didn’t waste another second, darting away from the room and taking cover in the kitchen.

I moved to the refrigerator, grabbing some orange juice and filling a glass. I could barely bring myself to drink it as I stood there thinking over what I’d heard and I shot a message to Darius to let him know what I’d seen.

Whatever they were after had to be trouble. And I was determined to find out what it was. Because I might not have been able to leave the house, but I could start my own quiet rebellion. And I was in the perfect position to gather intel. Ghost Recon style.

***

I stood shirtless in front of the mirrored wall that ran along one full side of the state of the art gym in the eastern wing. It was rarely used since Darius had moved out. Mother preferred to swim endless laps of the pool and Father was away so often that he rarely had need of the equipment here.

I worked out like my life depended on it these days. I knew I couldn’t rival Father without magic. But getting fit was one way to counter the feeling of helplessness he’d cornered me into. Besides, I was getting a good grip on the shadows so I had that going in my favour I guessed. Clara had taken over from her mother’s lessons and though I despised spending time in her company, I had to admit she’d helped me to wield them seriously quickly. Every day it became easier to draw them to the surface of my skin and let them loose. I may not have had access to my Elemental magic yet, but I wasn’t entirely unable to defend myself anymore…

I eyed the muscles beginning to show beneath my flesh, running my thumb across my chest and inspecting the ways I’d changed. It wasn’t just the weights that had affected my body either. This past year, I’d grown taller, my shoulders broadening, my features losing their boyish softness. I wasn’t like Darius with his Dragon bulk; my frame was built of lean muscle. I was made for speed and surefootedness. That suited me fine, because the only thing I’d ever dreamed of was running from this life. And one day soon, I hoped to get that chance. But chances weren’t made by the stars alone. I needed to make my own opportunities, so I had to start finding cracks in my prison’s walls.

I grabbed my shirt and headed out of the gym, jogging upstairs towards the bathroom on the landing. I moved quietly and knew it was because Father was still home. I was holding out for his next business trip, wishing it could come today. Whenever he was here, the entire house felt like it was holding its breath. I hated that I lived on edge, every slam of a door making me flinch, every pounding of heavy footfalls making my throat tighten and my muscles coil in anticipation of a beating.

I showered fast and was soon heading down for lunch dressed in a pair of slacks and a grey shirt. I preferred grabbing a quick bite myself rather than asking Jenkins to bring me anything. He always ordered the chef to put pickles in everything he made for me despite the amount of times I told him I hated them. I didn’t know if the forgetful crap he pulled was faked or not, but I had a feeling it was. He’d never forget the order when it came to Father’s lunch. He’d lose his head for it.

I grabbed a couple of slices of bread with the intention of making a grilled cheese when my mother entered the room in a maroon, long sleeved dress that clung to her figure.

“We’re having lunch as a family today, Xavier,” she said in an airy voice. “Go sit down in the dining room.” She wafted me toward the door, but I held back, noticing the tension in her posture.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my brows pulling together.

“Your father wants to talk to you about something,” she said with a hollow smile and my heart rate flipped into top gear.

“About what?” I asked, concern sliding into my veins. Father didn’t talk to me about anything. Not unless he had guests and was forced to make polite chit-chat in front of them.

“Go sit down,” she insisted, turning away from me and I swear her shoulders shuddered as I headed past her. I glanced back and she was gliding after me like the vacant spirit she always was.

I headed into the dining room, finding the long table set for four. Me and Mother took seats opposite one another in the centre of the table and I picked up the glass of water that had already been poured for me, draining it in one long go. My foot tapped anxiously under the table as silence stretched between us. I never knew what to say to my mom. Her answers were always so shallow, surface level. If I asked her if her heart was still beating she’d probably smile and nod. She might even casually cut a vein open to prove it. But she’d never tell me anything real.

A bang came from somewhere in the room above us and we both glanced up at the same time. The bang came again then over and over and Clara’s voice carried to us, making my heart shrivel into a prune. “Yes, Daddy– yes yes yes!”

My jaw fell slack and heat burned at the base of my skull as I looked down to find my mother staring glassily beyond my head.

Father started cursing and the chandelier above us tinkled as tremors ran through it.

Anger flashed through me, sharper than I’d ever known it. My mother was sitting right fucking here. He knew we were waiting in the room below. He didn’t even have the decency to cast a silencing bubble.

I was on my feet before I knew what I was even planning to do about the rage building in my chest and Mother’s eyes refocused, cutting into me. “Sit down, Xavier,” she insisted and I clenched my jaw, feeling like I was about to burst a blood vessel as I stood there.

“Oh my Dragon king – ah!” Clara screamed and I squeezed my eyes shut, dropping hard back into my seat.

“How can you let him disrespect you like that?!” I demanded.

I never shouted at Mother, but this was too much. The blank look on her face said she didn’t care, but how could this not wind its way into her chest and squeeze the life from her? Maybe she’d been broken so long, she didn’t even feel anymore. Most of the time, I reckoned she just tuned out of life. But I wished she wouldn’t. I wished I had one damn person under this roof to share my pain with. The worst thing of all, was that I knew if I never got out of here, if Father kept me locked up forever, I was going to end up like that. Mindless, numb. And I couldn’t stand it.

Clara moaned like she was in the throes of the best orgasm of her life and I fixed my gaze on my dinner plate, my ears surely about to bleed. Father groaned as he finished too and I found my hand curling around the knife beside my plate. There was either a twisted cruelty in this or he didn’t care who was listening. I didn’t know which was worse.

A few minutes later, the two of them stepped into the room and my neck prickled at the sensation of them behind me.

Father dropped into his seat at the head of the table with a sigh, swiping up his glass of water and taking a long swig. Clara giggled as she dropped into the seat to his right, combing her fingers through her light brown hair to tame the wild strands sticking out the back of it. She was dressed in a pale pink shift dress I recognised as my mother’s and that was just an insult all of its own.

Jenkins appeared with a trolley on cue as if he’d been waiting in the shadows for his master to appear. He laid out our meals while I stared at Father, the muscles in my jaw working hard as I ground my teeth.

“I told Clara to help herself to your things,” Lionel said offhandedly. “You don’t mind do you, my sweet?”

Mother looked to Clara with a hardness in her eyes for a moment, then she nodded simply, fixing on a polite smile. “Of course not.”

“Thank you, Aunt Catalina,” Clara said in a sugary voice and that was it. The nail in the coffin. I’d had enough.

I slammed my fist down on the table and Father’s ice cold stare rammed into me. But I wasn’t going to just sit here and allow this to happen.

“How dare you insult my mother like that,” I snapped. “She’s your wife.”

An achingly long beat of silence passed and I couldn’t break Father’s gaze as a murderous glint entered them.

“How dare I?” he echoed in a deadly tone that coaxed the hairs to life on the back of my neck. “And what exactly are you referring to, son?” His tone held a hint of a challenge in it, like he wanted to see how far I’d go to stand up to him for the first time in my life. And if I was going to do it, I was going to damn well see it through. Even if it did terrify me to my core.

I rose from my seat, wanting the advantage of height on him if nothing else. I pointed at Clara who’s eyes widened in innocence as a snarl built in my throat. “She’s twenty years younger than you. She played with me as a kid. She was practically my sister. How can you screw her like it’s okay? Like any of this is fucking okay!” I grabbed my plate, launching it across the room so it smashed against the wall.

The sound rang in my ears and my father swatted a finger at me, sending a ferocious blast of air against my chest. I was thrown into the closed doors, my spine impacting with the wood and sending a crack splintering across them before I hit the ground. Father’s footfalls pounded towards me and my mother released a murmured noise which could have been fear.

Father reached down to grab me, but I wasn’t going to bow down that easily. Not today.

I’d had it with his bullshit.

I threw up my hands and the shadows exploded from me, forcing my father back a step before he raised his hands in a counter attack. The shadows pouring from my body suddenly stuttered out and I saw Clara in my periphery, her hand raised towards me as she locked my power deep down in my chest.

Panic snaked into my body just as Father snatched the back of my collar, hauling me out of the room and Clara laughed wildly as she followed us.

“I’ll give you a good reason to bite your tongue, boy,” he snarled, marching me across the hallway as I struggled to get free.

He shoved his way into the library and threw me to the ground with a gust of air magic behind the blow. I hit the hardwood floor with an oomph, slamming into the closest shelf of books and sending a bunch of them tumbling down over me.

I scrambled upright, my heart thumping madly in my ears. I’d been kept in check for so long that I hungered to fight back with the force of a starving beast. I wanted to tear him apart for everything he’d done. To Darius, to Mother, to me. He was a plague on this world and I despised every drop of his blood that ran in my veins.

“I hate you!” I roared, throwing my fist at him.

He was so caught by surprise that he forgot to shield and my knuckles cracked against his jaw, sending him stumbling backwards.

Clara stared at us with wide eyes, bobbing up and down on her heels and my heart thrashed as I waited for the axe to fall.

“Now you’re in big trouble,” she breathed with a wicked grin and I braced to fight as Father’s upper lip peeled back.

“So you finally grew a spine at last,” he sneered. “But it doesn’t make you any more of a man. And it definitely doesn’t make you more of an Acrux,” he hissed, his eyes travelling down me like I was a piece of dirt on his shoe. “You’ll always just be the embarrassment this family has to hide. Or maybe I’ll save us the bother and bury you so deep that even the worms won’t find you.”

“Do it then!” I snapped, my breaths coming frantically.

I may have lost my mind, but I didn’t care. I was done hiding in the shadows and tip-toeing around this house, waiting for the day my father had had enough of me. I was exhausted with it. No matter how frightening he was.

I clenched my teeth, raising my fists despite knowing I wouldn’t be able to land a hit on him again. But I wasn’t going to fall down to my knees like some coward.

“You want me gone, so get it over with,” I demanded, my heart tearing down the centre. It hurt that he hated me. Despised me. I wished with all my heart that I didn’t care. But his hatred made me ache. Because why? What had I ever done to deserve it? “I’ve never done a thing to you except exist,” I spat, my eyes burning as I held back all the pain churning inside me. I’d stopped trying to win his love a long time ago, but some part of me would never truly heal from the hurt of being nothing but a burden to my own father. “So do it,” I pressed as he continued to assess me with a cold, empty glare. “Stop me from existing and make your little problem go away.”

He came at me fast, flicking a hand to bind my limbs with air magic and fear invaded me like poison. His first punch brought me to the floor, breaking ribs on impact. I wheezed as pain ricocheted through my limbs as he started kicking.

Clara was cheering and clapping with every blow he struck. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to latch onto something good. There were so few moments in my life that had been truly sweet, but there were a few I’d revisited a thousand times. Playing with my brother in the lake on the grounds, laughing with him and Lance as we caught Faeflies out in the woods, the snowball fight with my friends. Real, actual people who knew me, liked me.

“Worthless – waste – of – my – fucking – time,” Father grunted with every kick and the pain began to blind me.

It ate into my shattered bones and gnawed its way along my veins. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of screaming, but my pain was no doubt written into my expression, spelled out in my blood. Maybe he fed on it. Maybe he needed me alive to keep feeding his demons and thriving on my fear. Maybe he’d never end this suffering. Because monsters need prey to feast on, and without me he’d starve.

He was suddenly in my face, kneeling over me and gripping my shirt in his fists. “You ever talk back to me like that again and you really will be counting down to your last breaths, do you hear me?” He shook me before I forced myself to nod, hearing his words through a heavy ringing in my ears. Blood speckled his shiny shoes from my broken nose and he snatched out a handkerchief, wiping them off with a tut before rising above me. “You have a guest arriving in twenty minutes, be presentable. This is your last chance, Xavier. Make an effort with him or I won’t be merciful again.” He turned away, marching from the room and leaving me with Clara.

I curled in on myself, allowing myself a groan of pain as fire seemed to claw its way beneath my skin. Merciful? How could he think anything he did was merciful? He was cruelty embodied. A heathen with no soul.

The sound of sobs filled my ears and Clara suddenly screamed, dropping down before me and cradling me in her arms and I gasped in agony. Healing magic swept from her body into mine as she rested her face in the crook of my neck, her tears washing over my skin.

“No no no no,” she murmured, hugging me tight and I couldn’t manage to move to push her away. “I’m so sorry, so so sorry, Xavier.”

Her power took root in my body, taking away the pain and healing every fracture and bruise along the way. Clara laid kisses on my cheeks and I grunted as I reached out to press her back. She gazed down at me with a broken look in the depths of her eyes, tears running down her face and making her look almost human.

“You’re okay,” she whispered. “I’ll protect you.”

I reached out, my throat tight as I brushed hair away from her face, a thought entering my mind that the real Clara might still be behind all of this darkness that had invaded her. But then she dropped me on the floor and stood up, clapping her hands together.

“Silly boy, don’t say naughty things to Daddy again.” She gave me a stern look then started singing as she pranced out of the room.

I pushed myself to my feet, wiping the blood from my face with the back of my hand. I was shaken but not deterred. I wasn’t going to crawl back into my shell and hide from him. Not anymore. Not again.

I headed out of the room and found my mother standing beyond the dining hall, her eyes shining as she stared at me. Her throat bobbed then she pointed to the stairs. “Go and wash your face and change your shirt before Mr Gravebone gets here.”

“Who’s that?” I asked, glancing down at my blood splattered shirt. Sounds like the head of some wanted gang in Red Dead Redemption. Not exactly comforting.

“Just go,” she insisted, turning away from me and I headed upstairs with a knot in my gut. I hated that Clara had healed me and not my mom. As pathetic as it was, the only time I felt like my mother really cared for me was when she came to tend to my wounds after Father had laid into me.

I changed my shirt and washed my face and by the time I returned downstairs, I was ready to face whoever this guy was. But what I wasn’t ready for, was my father waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He placed a hand on my shoulder, steering me down the hall to the left and my heart ticked harder, a sense of unease washing through me. Something felt wrong. And my instincts said I should bolt, run for my star-damned life.

“You will do as Mr Gravebone says,” Father spoke my ear, his voice a deadly whisper. “Anything he says. I expect you to make progress with him within a month. If not, well, I hope you understand that life can get far more uncomfortable in this house, son.”

I swallowed the rising lump in my throat, keeping my lips sealed as he guided me into a lounge at the far end of the hall. A fire stood crackling to one side of the long room and two armchairs sat either side of it. A man rose from one, his pale grey eyes dragging down me. His white hair was swept back over his head and every angle of his face looked as sharp as a razor. A blood red robe hung around him, held in place at his throat with a golden clasp that pictured a perfect sunflower.

Father guided me to the other seat and pushed me down into it, his hand remaining on my shoulder as he stood beside me. “You understand my wishes, Gravebone?” he growled and the man inclined his head.

“I do, my lord. And you can rest assured that not a word of this will be breathed beyond these four walls,” he replied in a voice that was softly spoken and creepy as shit.

“Good. You’ll be paid at the end of each session. And if I don’t see results soon, I’ll ensure that the rest of your clientele are aware you’re a fraud.”

“I’m no fraud,” he said, lifting his chin. “I will not let you down.”

Father nodded curtly and vacated the room, leaving me with Sir Creeps-Me-Out and the feeling of ants stirring under my skin.

Gravebone reached into his robes and took out a large golden pendulum, moving toward me as he let it dangle from his long fingers. “You know why you’re here, I trust?”

“No,” I said, sitting back in my chair and fixing him in my sights. “Who are you?”

“I’m an Order Conversion Therapist.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I gritted out through my teeth, though I could have taken a wild guess.

“Your father has entrusted your secret to me. And I understand the shame you must feel at Emerging as such a low level Order amongst the most powerful family of Dragons in Solaria. I’m here to help.”

My tongue was leaden, my pulse was too quick. The word help had sounded an awful lot like harm.

I said nothing, not wanting to share any of my thoughts about that subject with this guy. Since I’d emerged as a Pegasus, I’d expected to be ashamed of my Order. But it turned out, that wasn’t what I felt at all. Sure, I’d been horrified. Afraid. But only because I knew what my father would think of it. Not because I cared about being a Dragon. I’d always dreamed of flying with my brother. I’d gotten the gift of wings, they just weren’t scaly and golden like his. They were soft, feathery and lilac. And I was okay with that. I just wished everyone else in the world could be.

Gravebone licked his thin lips, lifting the pendulum before my eyes. “I want you to watch the pendulum’s movements while we talk.” He started swinging it and I kept my gaze on his face instead of obeying.

“What are you expecting to get out of this?” I asked, the temperature rising in my veins.

“We’re going to change which Order you identify with, young Xavier,” he said with a bright glint in his gaze.

It seemed like a noose was tightening around my neck and my father was the executioner about to drop the floor from under my feet. I couldn’t refuse to go along with this. He’d make my life unbearable. And if I was ever going to get a chance to escape with Mother, I had to buy myself this time to work out a plan.

The heat of the fire washed over me. I was too hot and this guy was too close to me. I could smell incense and tobacco on him and I didn’t like the way he was looking at me. Like I was his new pet project.

I shifted in my seat, letting my eyes drop to the stupid pendulum. “What now?”

“How did you feel when you first Emerged?” he asked.

I ran my tongue across my teeth, thinking over the best way to play this. “I was scared,” I admitted the truth. “I felt like I didn’t have a place in my family anymore.” Another truth.

Up until the day Father had found out what I was, he’d treated me with indifference. And it had never in all my years occurred to me that that had been a blessing. Now, I took the brunt of his hate. His fists hammered into my flesh as he poured every drop of resentment and disappointment he had into me because of my Order. And when he told me that life could get worse than this, I wasn’t stupid enough not to believe it. “I still don’t.”

“Orders are a family in themselves,” Gravebone said, nodding in understanding and yet his eyes were distant like he didn’t have any real sympathy for me. “Right now, you no doubt crave the company of other Pegasuses, do you not?”

I nodded, my eyes still swinging in time with the Pendulum. A heaviness was creeping into my limbs and the more I fought it, the more it took hold of me.

“But you’re not one of them, young Xavier,” he breathed and his voice seemed further away.

Sleep was taking root in my bones and I found my thoughts harder to grasp. “Not one of them,” my mouth moved with the words, though I didn’t remember agreeing with them.

“Pegasuses are lowborn creatures unworthy of laying claim to Acrux blood,” Gravebone said with more fervour, the disgust in his voice clear. “You are not one of them.”

“I’m not one of them,” I said again and my voice cracked on the words as I tried to hold them back.

My eyes were closed, but images were starting to swim in my vision. A proud family of Dragons stood on a hill above me and below was a herd of Pegasus, whinnying and nuzzling each other. My heart called to them in a way I couldn’t bear to ignore. I moved towards them instinctively and pain crashed through my skull so intensely that I screamed.

“Choose your true family,” Gravebone’s voice reached me in the dark. “You’re not a Pegasus.”

“I’m not a Pegasus,” I panted as the pain subsided and my thoughts muddled together, making me unsure of myself for a moment. “I’m not one of them.”