Chapter 47. Healing
Emily’s point of view:
I woke up with a slight weight hanging over my stomach. When I opened my eyes, I saw a bush of long dark brown hair, on broad shoulders and a huge sexy body. It took me a moment to realize it was Brock, as his hair was so long and his face had a beard which was not cared for in days. I guess, he was torn with the fact that I was gone, and didn’t care about how he looked. At first, I thought that I didn’t care that I had left, but seeing him now unshaven, bags under his eyes and a bit smelly, I felt uneasy.
I rubbed my hands through his hair and he woke up.
“I.. I, am sorry, I didn’t want to...” He said while he pushed himself back.
“It’s alright Brock, I don’t mind you sleeping on me. Although I wished it was under different circumstances.” I said calmly, letting him know that I haven’t forgotten the things he said last time. Which was more than three weeks ago.
“I know, I thought I would keep you safe if we would break up. It pained me to know that I failed you once more when you fainted. I felt embarrassed that I let down my guard and hadn’t noticed that you were being poisoned.” He said with his head down.
“So, you decided that on your own? You could have told me your fears, instead of being the massive asshole you were those days.” I got angry with him. Although I understood his reasons now, he still made me mad.
“You made me feel so worthless, so ashamed! I thought you didn’t want to see me because of how I looked like. I just needed one single kiss from you, to let me know that you still loved me. You had to be by my side, that moment when I woke up. I bet you didn’t even think about the fact that my thoughts of you, kept me sane during the time I was paralyzed. After, apparently a few days, I was becoming more aware of my surroundings and all I could hear was Anna! Not you!” I screamed and he just looked at me without saying a word.
Tears started to appear and I turned my face away. I didn’t want to see him right now.
“P-please leave.” I stuttered between my sobs.
“No.” He said firmly.
“Do you really think I only love you for your looks? That I didn’t want to touch you, when you looked like hell? Emily I was ashamed that I couldn’t save you! Your looks only confirmed my failure, of not being able to rescue you. That’s why I never was around!” He screamed to me now.
Somehow, I knew that he didn’t love me only for my looks, when he didn’t come to see me. But I had seen myself in the mirror, I just got afraid. I really felt and looked awful, not an inch of flesh was around my bones. It was different now though. Although there were scars on the places where Markus had cut me, I was healed and I didn’t feel tired or subdued anymore.
“If you love me for who I am, then you should have known that I needed you. It was really selfish of you to act the way you did. I needed your touch and comforting words, not the stubborn general you have been the last month.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” He said softly.
I noted for him to sit next to me on the bed, as he was to stubborn to leave my room. We talked for hours about what happened and how we felt.
He asked me what I’ve done all those days in the mountains. He had seen that I have been training, he was amazed about how I looked like now. I slightly joked, about that my looks were important to him after all, but he just grunted and frowned.
Bastet came up as a subject as well, she was shedding her fur and feathers, and I wondered if that was normal. He said he never noticed that Nightwing ever shed his fur, but then again, he was a man. So, I guess he just doesn’t pay attention to his gryphons’ fur much. Besides from combing it every once in a while.
The servants house was spoken about too, Brock didn’t really pay much attention to it the last two months. But they started building the ground floor now, he said. I still haven’t had time to speak to Natalya, so I really needed to catch up with her. Also, about Tom and her, not to forget.
We talked about Markus and what he did to me. That I felt terrified, feeling helpless and in such an agony. Tears started to form again and Brock put an arm around me, hugging me tightly. I didn’t want to talk about the fact that Markus had touched me, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to make Brock feeling more guilty than he already did.
Suddenly I asked Brock if Markus had taken my powers. I realized I had fainted when he came in the farm house, so I never saw what happened to the orb. It was such a relieve, to hear that Cirilya called for the Moonlight Goddess and that she had returned the orb to me. I didn’t want to think about the things that Markus would have done with the powers.
He was in the castle’s dungeons now, except Brock had not seen him yet.
“I want to go with you when you question him.” I said to Brock and he kind of jumped up in surprise.
“What? You don’t think I could handle that?” I asked him.
“No, it’s not that, I know what you are capable of, first hand. I will be the last person to underestimate your skills and will to survive. But torturing someone is something so personal, so dangerous to do. You could have sleepless nights from it, only by watching what I will do to him. Because, make no mistake, I will kill him. No matter what you say, he will be dead soon.” He said very firmly.
“I know, I want him to be dead just as much as you do, but only after I have asked him some questions. I know the reason why he had taken my blood. Except he told me this story from when he was young and something bothers me about it, something doesn’t make sense.” I said to him.
We talked about it for a few moments and he agreed about the things that bothered me. Somethings just didn’t add up and we would find it out together.
“Okay love, let’s get you something to eat, first. We will go see him tomorrow” He said to me.
It was the first time in the very long and dragging few weeks, that he called me ‘love’. A slight smile came upon my face.
“Nope, first you need to take a shower. You smell like shit and you look like a rodent with all those whiskers!” I said very seriously, at which he rolled his eyes and scooped me up from the bed, and carried me towards the door.
I told him to bring towels and clean clothes this time, as he forgot them the last time we stood in the showers.
I hesitated a bit to get naked, I couldn’t shake the thoughts of Markus touching me. Brock noticed me fidgeting at my clothes and stepped under the shower, not to push me into anything. We didn’t have sex, even though he tried to touch me several times. I stepped away to get some soap or grabbed a washing cloth every time he came close.
“He touched you, didn’t he?” Brock said calmly.
“No, it’s not that, I’m just still mad at you.” I said avoiding his eyes.
“Don’t lie to me, what did he do?” He said angrily and tears welled up in my eyes.
I told him what Markus had done to me and he got really angry, specifically at the part where I found out that my pants were down. He didn’t get angry towards me, but towards the whole situation. He rammed his fists towards the wall with every new part I told him about Markus. Brock asked me if he had raped me, but even though Markus is a psychotic animal, I believed when he said that he didn’t. He did touch me though, but I couldn’t tell how far he went. Markus had invaded my privacy so much, that I barely could handle the touch of Brock on my body. I hated that feeling!
The moments when Brock and I were intimate, were my most precious thoughts. The feelings that he gave me during those events were so magical, that I never wanted to leave his embrace afterwards. But now, all I could think about was how Markus touched me and not knowing where he had touched me exactly. It was excruciating to me, not knowing and not being able to do something about it.
“Please, don’t leave me again.” Brock said to me after we had finished talking.
“I won’t, but only if you will always be by my side.” He gave me a kiss when I said that, and I quickly walked to the bench where our clothes and towels were and started to dry myself.
Brock turned off the shower and shaved his ‘whiskers’ which he appointed explicitly. I smiled to him and put on my clothes.
Only after we got dressed, I gave Brock a big hug. I couldn’t hug him while we were naked, yet.