SWNOVELS Chapter 26: Yuuki
Log #2: Humanity
My name is Shura Averin, and I have elected to be humanity’s scribe regarding the nuances and biological discoveries of the creatures that plague our world. Together with Elvira, we shall record everything that there is to know about this world and its inhabitants. One day, we will be free. One day, we will be strong. Until then, we will be brave. We will be united. We will learn about the world around us and use that information to grow and improve ourselves. Never will we falter and break, never will we give in. It is our duty, our destiny, to retake this planet, and by my family name I swear we shall. Humanity isn’t in the dusk of creation; we are in the shadow of its greatest dawn.
-General Shura Averin
500 BPE
A white room.
All alone.
Exactly where I belong.
Exactly what I deserve.
...
Even still...
Even despite my pathetic self...
Even despite my bland personality...
This white solitude...
This strange feeling...
... ...
It doesn’t feel right.
They are waiting for me.
My friends. My comrades.
My acquaintances. My family.
I don’t deserve them, but they are waiting for me. They all are waiting for me.
Even though I am alone in this white eternity. They are waiting for me.
They want to wait.
They want me to return to them.
... ... ...
I don’t know why...
...but I...
...want to go back, too...
...I want to see everyone smile, and laugh, and play together...
...I want everyone to fight and train...
...to learn and change...
...to stumble and fall...
...and get back up again...
...and then do it all again tomorrow.
Such a future... Am I worthy of it?
Do I really deserve such great comrades, such amazing friends?
Is it really okay for me to laugh along with them...?
That girl... Alison... She said it was okay.
She said we could laugh together.
She cried.
But she smiled.
Maybe I... Can smile, too.
Maybe all I need...
...is a little courage.
Chapter 27: The Sun Rises in Every World
Kazuki Yuuki stood alone in a white room, man-sized wings folded behind his back. He had gotten used to his elven features, temporary as they were. This world of the cave within Alfheim, the monsters and trials he’d encountered... He could feel that everything led to this white room. It wasn’t much of a room in actuality—there were no walls and no ceiling, and the ground hardly felt real. It was absolutely silent, as the very world held its breath in anticipation of the chapters to come. But he had made it nevertheless, and as his reward, a girl stood in front of him. Someone he recognized immediately.
Someone who was long gone.
Her once short twintails had combined into a slightly longer ponytail, but the hazel color was identical. Her body shape was still modest and young, yet hinted at a more mature age to come. Her very presence was reassuring, and yet Kazuki still felt the need to stand at attention, just out of habit. She wore simple, proud clothes, almost like a tomboy. When she saw the boy in front of her stand like a soldier, she giggled, covering her mouth.
“Aw, c’mon, Kazu. No need for that. Not ’nymore, at least,” she lowered her hands to her waist, looking directly at him.
Dozens of emotions rushed through Kazuki, but he swallowed them all and cleared his throat. She may have been standing right there, but it was just a world of his dreams, a world of his creation.
It was just a dream.
No matter what this world showed him, Junior was gone.
Despite that, it all felt so real.
“Hey, Commander. Why are you- How are you- What are you doing here?” He had to keep his cool, no matter what.
“Hehe. Heya, Fo.” She winked, sticking her tongue out. “Glad to see you haven’t forgotten me.”
“Of course not. I could... I could never forget. Not you, or any of them. Not Jack, or Russell, or Terry, or Eir. I haven’t forgotten.”
“But you did.”
Her words stabbed through his brave facade, and he faltered.
“Y-Yes, I did. At some point, I’d forced myself to forget all of that. For so many years, I’d forgotten everything. And I’m sorry. It wasn’t right, but I remember now! I remember, an—”
“So what? What’ll you do now that you remember?” Her attitude suddenly became authoritative. This was Commander Junior, the girl who led a group of children wherever she wanted, and acted like the oldest despite being the opposite.
“I—Uh—I don’t know,” he admitted. His first reaction to remembering had been horrible. Instead of owning up to his mistakes, he had lazily tossed the blame to the easiest target, and focused on destroying it to distract himself from his own misery. He had hidden behind a horrible persona, and didn’t even have the strength to fight back. He had done something so childish, and only after his friends all worked together did he find the strength to admit his mistakes, and move past his sorrow. But now, he had another chance to be somebody.
He had no idea who that somebody was.
He felt the air ripple around him, and looked up reflexively. Behind Junior, three images glowed like spirits. A massive serpent guarding a purple gem, a cluster of decaying corpses facing him, and a pedestal with a single button as its only decoration.
First, Junior gestured to the serpent and gem. “You had hidden your true self behind a coiled beast, attacking anybody, including yourself, who dared come close to it. You had made monsters of your past,” she pointed at the zombies, “to avoid facing your friends’ faces again. But eventually, you couldn’t hide any longer, and your only choice was to face your darkest moment once again.” She finished by looking over at the single button. “Pretty simple symbolism, but neat nonetheless. Neat because even after you’d hidden away the past, bits and pieces of it made its way into your dreams. Perhaps you were never meant to forget, but nor were you meant to live in its shadow. I think you should use those memories as a foundation. Build off of your mistakes and follies to create a present and future to be proud of.
“Up until this point you have been living as a shell of your true self. Your clothes, your speech, and even your tendency to lose consciousness all the time are proof that you haven’t been giving life your all. And that’s alright; there’s nothing you can do about that time now. Instead, start over, right here. Wake up with your best foot forward, and smile past the pain. That’s what I’d recommend, anyway. But what do I know? After all, I’m just a figment of your conscience.” She finished with another wink.
“Start...here? Can I really do that?”
“’Course!”
“Ah... Maybe I can. Maybe I can be someone new, someone better. It won’t be easy,” Kazu looked back at Junior with determined eyes.
“Nah, it won’t.”
“I’m gonna trip.”
“You’ll catch yourself, or better yet, your friends will for ya.”
“I’m gonna fall.”
“And get right back up again.”
“I won’t change right away.”
“You won’t have to. Nobody wakes up one day as a completely different person.”
“I’ll make mistakes.”
“Hope so!”
“...”
“Hehe.”
“You really think I can do this?”
“I know you can. Because you’re secretly really strong, and brave, and willing to reach out to others. Ya just need to try a little harder.”
“Oh... Okay then. If you insist,” he closed his eyes, and smiled. It felt good to smile.
Yes, this is a smile I can share.
“Well, in that case, I’ll be off!”
The apparitions behind Junior faded away, and she waved goodbye. “’Kay then, bye bye! Ain’t gonna see you later, though! Hope not, at least!” The tongue again.
He waved back, and walked away. Towards a bright light that had appeared in the distance. It didn’t take long to realize what that light was.
Well would you look at that, he thought.
I guess the sun rises in every world.