Your Fault (Culpable Book 2)

I didn’t take my eyes off her once as she did whatever she wished to my body. That was any man’s dream, but it never occurred to me that whatever she wished would mean drawing a bunch of dumb shit all over me. Still, observing her the whole time, as I was allowed to then, was priceless. She was concentrating so hard on what she was doing that she had no idea how incredibly beautiful she was to me in that moment.

Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her eyes swollen from crying the night before. I knew I shouldn’t be such an asshole, but I loved the way her lips looked after she’d cried… It made me want to kiss her till the end of time. I took advantage of her being distracted by her task to soak in her every gesture and to stroke her thighs and knees.

At some point, my hand strayed too far into forbidden ground, and she gave me a sharp look to make me stop.

“Keep still,” she ordered me with an amused smile, then looked down at my wrist. I let her sketch out one last thing.

“I’m done,” she said, putting the cap on the marker and coming down to kiss me on the lips. Staying still that long with her half naked on top of me had been torture.

Holding her waist, I rolled over until I was on top of her.

“Now what am I supposed to do?” I asked, leaning on my forearms to keep from crushing her. Her hand climbed to my face and stroked my hair.

“Leave and show my masterpiece to the world,” she answered with mischievous glee on her face. I pushed my thighs into her, feeling her so fragile beneath me, so small, so perfect… I felt the urge to cry when I realized these moments weren’t going to come as often as I wished now. I had to let her go, had to let her live on campus surrounded by a bunch of dickheads who would be fighting to get her attention. Neither those kisses nor anything she could tell me were enough to make me believe no one would ever steal her from me.

Losing her…just the thought of it hurt me inside, scared me. The feeling weighing on my chest was terrifying, like two giants sitting on my heart. Ever since my mother had left, I had kept that feeling stuffed away, closing myself off from everyone else. I’d told myself I would never feel that again…but now I was so vulnerable, so exposed with that beautiful girl who could have crushed my heart to dust if she’d wanted to.

I looked down at what she’d written on my wrist, and a warm, gentle tingle ran over my body. I was hers… She had written that on my very skin, and I realized nothing would make me happier than belonging to her, body and soul.

I knew she’d seen the darkness in me, my weakness, my irrational desire to clutch her close, to keep her within reach at all times. I couldn’t help it—I couldn’t help my feelings or the way my love for her kept growing with every second.

“I’m going to let you go…for now…” I said when I saw her blink with surprise. “But you know, Freckles, this can’t last. When I want something…I get it, and I don’t care who I have to get through to do it.”

She half closed her eyes as she shifted beneath me. “So what if you have to get through me?”

Her question distracted me for a moment.

“You’re in my heart, babe. I think I’ve already gone through you.”

She smiled, and I sat up in bed, getting ready to dress.

“You’re not going to shower?” she asked as I pulled a T-shirt over my head.

“Are you hinting at something? Do I smell bad?” I said, grinning and looking down as I tied my shoes.

Noah was still wearing one of my T-shirts, and her hair was sticking out in every direction. We were always late, and I didn’t understand why she didn’t take the opportunity to get dressed when I was doing the same. Instead, she was sitting there on my bed giving me a goofy stare.

“I figured you’d want to run and wash off my Monet,” she said.

I smiled and stood in front of her at the foot of the bed. Her foot was lolling on the white sheet, perfect like every part of her.

“I’m happy to wear this artwork of yours, Freckles; it bears your signature. It’ll stick around until it fades away.” I stretched out a hand and grabbed her foot, pressing it into my chest and massaging her ankle. “Honestly,” I went on, lifting my shirt and pointing to one of my obliques, “I think this elephant right here gives me a sort of interesting macho air.”

She stared at my bare skin, and I smirked, pulling on her ankle until she was almost falling off the bed and her shirt had slid up to reveal the bottoms of her breasts. Her firm flat stomach was there for me to see, along with that lace underwear that could give me a heart attack.

“You see something you like?” I asked, bending over and kissing her belly button tenderly.

She closed her eyes for a moment. How could she smell so fucking good?

“You,” she responded simply.

But there was no time for that. I grinned and let her wrap her legs around my back. I needed to get her out of that room. I walked down the hall and into the kitchen, smiling as I deposited her on the counter. She frowned as she felt the cold marble on her skin. I left her there and started taking food out of the fridge to make breakfast. I could tell she was watching my every move.

I made a fruit salad, juiced some oranges, and whipped the eggs before scrambling them.

“Can I help you?” she asked, but I refused.

“Let me make you breakfast one last time,” I responded with an unavoidable slight scowl. She shrugged and said nothing.

When everything was ready on the island in the kitchen, I grabbed her again and sat her in my lap. She wrapped her arm around my neck and played with my hair, and I fed her, lost in thought. As she ate, she, too, seemed distracted, her mind probably racing.

I knew that however much the two of us tried to put on a happy face, what had happened the night before was still there with us, inhabiting the apartment like a ghost. Nervously, I pushed her head back and kissed her, savoring the delicious taste of freshly squeezed oranges on her lips.

She was surprised by this sudden fit of passion, but evidently it pleased her. Her tongue wrapped around mine as I jerked her into me.

When I pulled away, my forehead was still touching hers, and our eyes locked. That shade of honey in her irises made me melt, and I felt the irrational urge to shut her up in my bedroom and never let her go.

“I love you, Noah… Don’t you ever forget that.”

Her eyes shone with unbelievable brightness while her fingers stroked my cheeks and lower lip. She seemed to be lost in thought. She started to lower her hand, but I stopped her and brought it to my lips. I kissed every knuckle carefully and then let her finish eating.

She was pensive before; now she seemed barely aware of my presence.

“What time does class start?” I asked, unable to bear the silence.

“Twelve thirty.”

“I’ll drive you there.”

After dropping Noah off, I met up with Lion, and we got in my car, heading out for a beer.

“I’m thinking of selling the garage,” he said.

“What?”

The garage was the most important thing Lion had. It was his business, his family’s business. Lion kept his eyes focused on the road, moving his feet nervously.

“I need to make things right with you know who.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t see how you’re going to make things right if you can’t even say her name.”

“I’m still pissed at her,” he confessed, sighing. “But her father called me last night.”

I looked over at him incredulously. “What did he say?”

“Old man Tavish has always treated me well. He never looked down on me like all those other rich people, you know…he’s straight up.”

Greg Tavish was a good man, and he’d done an impeccable job of raising his daughter. Jenna was the person she was because she’d never wanted for anything. Even I had envied her when we were little kids.

“So anyway…we were talking. At first he just wanted to know how come Jenna didn’t talk about me anymore at home, and then he said she’d been crying nonstop for two nights straight.”

I could tell he didn’t like knowing that Jenna was sad, but realizing that being apart hurt her, too, and that he wasn’t the only one in pain, was clearly a relief to him.

“He told me he’d give me a job at his company. I’d be starting at the bottom, of course. To rise up, there’ll be tests to take, lots of work, but with time, he said I could make it. That guy’s a machine, Nick. You should have heard him… He’s so self-assured, so smart… It’s no surprise Jenna adores him. Who wouldn’t want a dad like that?”

I stared at the car in front of me.

“You don’t have anything to say?” Lion asked.

My mind had strayed into dark territories. I couldn’t help comparing my father to Greg—couldn’t help thinking about how Jenna’s parents accepted her relationship with Lion, a guy from the streets, nice enough, sure, but still, someone who had no money and had never graduated. Jenna’s father had never cared, while there I was fighting tooth and nail to get my own family to accept me.

“I think it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to you, bro,” I said, smiling.

For the first time in years, he looked secure. My best friend’s green eyes reflected utter calm.