Your Fault (Culpable Book 2)

I didn’t want to hurt him, but I needed it, too. I wanted to feel his hands, his expert fingers, to be kissed by him all over, in all the places he wasn’t supposed to do it. For him to make me his and to forget every other girl he’s been with.

“This will be the only time you’re ever going to be in control, so enjoy it,” he said condescendingly. But he was turned on. I could feel him underneath me, hard as a stone.

“We’ll see about that,” I said to him, bending over to kiss his jawline. I wanted to try to avoid his lips—I didn’t want to hurt him—but it would be hard. I hated being cautious when what I wanted was to make love freely; I wanted him to dominate me with his body, the way I liked, to pick me up, to let our skin touch and give us pleasure, not pain. But at the same time, having total power over him was very exciting, too.

My tongue drifted over his stubble to his right ear. He smelled so good. Like Nick. Like a man.

He took hold of my breasts, and I almost yelped when he squeezed me tight.

I moved my hands down to his stomach. That body was a work of art, a sculpture! My fingertips felt the muscle beneath his warm skin. I wanted to kiss every inch of him. Stopping at his pants, I smiled, watching him quiver as I nibbled at his neck.

“Don’t be mean, Freckles. I won’t wait much longer,” he warned me, grabbing me around the waist. I stopped him before he did what I knew he would.

“Unless I remember wrong, there was something you wanted me to do,” I said, hoping to fluster him, desiring to see him lose control of himself. But he stared at me firmly.

“Not today, Freckles,” he said, clearly struggling to get the words out.

I unbuttoned the top button on his pants.

“Why not?”

He completely lost control of his breathing.

I pulled his pants all the way down and started slowly stroking his body. He closed his eyes. I knew he wouldn’t last long. We hadn’t done it in a month.

“Because if you do, I’m not going to let you leave.”

When I heard those words, I stopped, trying to regain control of the situation.

He bent over, and at the same time, a diabolic smile appeared on his face.

“Better do what I say,” he told me, and he tugged down my underwear, leaving me completely naked.

His eyes were drilling into every centimeter of me, and I was happy I had gotten over the shame I used to feel at first. There’s nothing like trusting a person fully, showing them all your insecurities, seeing that they don’t only accept them—they adore them.

“I hope I can drive you as crazy someday as you do me,” I said as he started kissing my stomach and his hands rubbed me where I was most sensitive.

“You drive me crazy every time you breathe, Noah.”

I pushed him backward softly onto the sofa and put both hands on his shoulders. I sat on his lap, his mouth sought mine eagerly, and he lifted me, guiding me, entering me very gently. I closed my eyes, enjoying him, enjoying having him inside me again…

“Now you’re up,” he whispered.

Bracing myself against him, I started moving up and down, not rushing, wanting to give my body time to get used to him after a month’s absence.

“You’re killing me, Noah,” he said, grasping my buttocks and making me go faster. I tried to resist—I wanted to take it slow, enjoy it, drag out the pleasure as long as possible—but he wouldn’t let me: even battered and bruised, he was so much stronger than I was.

“Jesus, Nicholas,” I complained when I was ready to orgasm. “Slow down!”

He leaned forward, and his eyes, so close to mine, made me submit as his hand traveled down to the place where I was already dying from pleasure.

“Like that,” he said and leaned in to bite my lip.

My God… It was all just too much, his words, his hand rubbing me, him sliding in and out… My body needed to be free after all those weeks without him, having nightmares, being sad that he’d not come to find me at the airport, afraid when I found him with his face destroyed… I started speeding up myself. He grunted deeply from pleasure, and at the same time, I shouted almost desperately, and after waves of infinite pleasure, we reached orgasm together.

“This is where I need to be, every day.”

I looked down and pulled his face up to my mouth. He kissed me; he didn’t care at all about the pain. We were together. That was all that mattered.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I felt a tickle on my nose. N was licking my face. I smiled, sat up, and realized I was alone in the room with the light coming in through the window at a strange angle… I rubbed my eyes, disoriented, trying to remember where I was, in what country, in what bed, and how I had gotten there.

Nick shirtless, in sweatpants, standing in the doorway was the finest sight I could imagine.

“At last. I was starting to get worried,” he said, leaning against the doorframe.

I looked at the window, then him, then the window again. “What time is it?”

“Seven,” he said, walking into the room. “In the evening,” he added, grinning.

“Are you kidding?”

He sat next to me. “You’ve slept like fourteen hours.”

Jesus…! I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Fucking jet lag…

“I need a damn shower.”

I got up and went to the bathroom. I looked like hell. I even locked the door because I didn’t want Nicholas to get in the shower with me like that. Living with him was going to be tough. In the mornings I wasn’t a person yet, and I was afraid he’d fall out of love with me if he saw me looking like a zombie every day. He got up looking like a Greek god, and his groggy face just made him more attractive than normal.

I got under the hot water and let it stream through my hair. The water revived my senses, and I awakened and shook off the feeling of stupor.

When I got out, I could only find a towel to wrap myself in. I stepped out dripping water, looking for my clothes, and that was when I heard the door slam, followed by shouts.

“Where is she?”

Shit! Mom!

I tried to run back into the bathroom so she wouldn’t see me naked, but she intercepted me halfway. As we stood across from each other, she looked beside herself, totally unable to process what was happening.

“How dare you?” she shouted. “How dare you disappear for hours like that?”

I was horrified. We’d argued before, lots of times, but I’d never seen her so mad. Nicholas came over and stood in front of me, so I couldn’t see her.

“Calm down, Raffaella. Noah didn’t do anything wrong.”

The muscles in his back were as tense as the strings of a guitar, and the air grew so thick, it was impossible to breathe.

“Get away from her, Nicholas,” my mother ordered him, trying and failing to keep calm.

I stepped to one side, and my mother glared at me furiously.

“Get dressed right now, and walk out that door.”

I didn’t know what to do. I was terrified by seeing her out of control like that for the first time in years.

“Noah’s not going anywhere,” Nick declared calmly. That was when William, who had just come upstairs, appeared.

“What the hell is going on here?” he shouted, looking first at my mother and then at us. “Who did this to you, Nicholas?” His father looked with horror at the bruises covering his torso.

“Your son is out of control, and I don’t want him anywhere near Noah,” my mother said. She turned to Nick and hissed, “You’re violent, you get in fights, you have lowlife friends, and I’m not going to allow you to get my daughter involved in all that shit! And that’s the last word!”

“Mom, stop!” I shouted, before I said something even worse. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving, but you can’t just burst in here and…”

“I can, and I will, as often as I have to. You’re my daughter. Now grab your things, put on some clothes, and get in the damn car!”

“NO!” I shrieked, feeling like a spoiled brat but unwilling to let anyone tell me what I could and couldn’t do. I wasn’t a little girl anymore.

“You were kidnapped, Noah!” my mother shouted in response. “You were kidnapped, and I thought something like that had happened again. You nearly gave me a heart attack,” she confessed, her eyes full of tears.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I repeated, and I really felt it, but I couldn’t lose my nerve, not anymore. “But soon, you won’t be able to know where I am at all times. You can’t get in this state every time you don’t know where I am.”

Looking at me coldly, she said, “Get dressed and let’s go home,” pronouncing each word slowly, not seeming interested in a reply.

I didn’t want to go—that was the last thing I wanted—but my mother was on the verge of hysteria. I needed to get her away from Nick, especially because I was on the verge of telling her I was moving in with him.

“Wait for me in the car. I’ll be right down,” I finally said. Nicholas cursed, standing there next to me. My mother pretended she didn’t hear him as she and William walked out into the hall. I heard them shut the door a second later.

“Don’t go, Noah. If you go, you’re telling her she’s right,” Nicholas said angrily.

“You saw her. If I don’t go, it’ll be worse.”

He sighed in resignation. “I can’t wait for you to move in here.”

I was scared of telling my mother what we had in mind.

“It won’t be long,” I said.

He squeezed me in his arms, and with my cheek on his chest, I couldn’t help but think that a part of me was lying to him.