You Are What You Eat

***Unknown POV***

(Flashback)

It was a slow and boring day. I played with my dolls on the windowsill. It was raining, and the water droplets trickled down the glass on the opposite side. For just a moment, it was quiet. It’s never this quiet. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, because then I heard my foster siblings get into a fight.

The commotion seemed to be over a toy. Little blonde Colleen and Gwen were hitting each other because Colleen wanted Gwen’s toy. And of course, no grown-up was stopping this fight. Our foster mother was at work all day, and our foster father was drunk and dizzy on the recliner. Sometimes I thought he was dead, but occasionally he would yell in his sleep for us to “shut the hell up,” then doze off into sleep.

I was hungry; I got used to hearing my stomach grumble for food. I left my dolls on the window sill and padded over to the kitchen. I grabbed a chair, scooted it to the counter, and tried to look through the cabinets for something. Just dust and dead bugs, and an expired box of cereal.

I hopped off the chair and sighed. I looked at my foster siblings. There were four of them. They were busy fighting, or playing, or watching TV. I sneaked off into the adults’ bedroom, and walked over to our foster father’s black jacket on the bed. I dug through the pockets until I found his cracked-leather wallet. I took a $20 bill and shoved it in my jeans’ pocket. I was going to get us something to eat.

I put my coat on, and looked over at everyone before leaving. Our father was moving in his sleep, and I froze in my tracks. His eyes snapped open and my knees were weak; expecting him to come over here and hit me for stealing his money. But that didn’t happen. He reached over for his bottle, chugged some, then dropped the empty bottle to the floor and sunk back into the chair, snoring away.

Colleen and Gwen were still fighting, then they disappeared into one of the other rooms. The other girls were watching cartoons, or making a mess of the place. Sometimes I think, are we too much to handle? Maybe if we were better kids, he wouldn’t be drinking and sleeping all day.

I quietly left the house, walking in the cold rain until I reached a convenience store. They had a bunch of hot food, so I used all the money to buy chicken nuggets, and tacos, and pizza, whatever they had. I was starving and it all sounded good. And my sisters will be happy to eat something other than expired food.

I came back, and he was still snoring on the couch. I gave some food to Nadine and Helen, and they ate while watching cartoons. I was happy to see them happy; their stomachs were always growling loudly. It made me happy to feed them.

“Where are Gwen and Colleen?” I asked.

They just shrugged their shoulders as they ate away and watched TV. I ate with them and left the rest of the food on the counter. Cockroaches were crawling on the counter, so then I just covered the food up in paper towels and a bag, then set it in the fridge instead.

I went to find the other girls to let them know I got food. I knew they were hungry too. We only get to eat dinner when Mom comes home, and she usually brings us Burger King or something because she’s too tired to cook. I was grateful for her. She was much nicer to us and she actually fed us.

“Colleen? Gwen?” I called, not too loud so I didn’t wake up the drunk man. I didn’t hear anything. I walked down the hallway, when suddenly, Colleen popped out from her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She looked horrified, like she saw a ghost or a monster.

“What?” I asked. “I got us some food-” I said before she cut me off.

“Something.. happened.. come here.” She grabbed my hand, hers was covered in sweat. She dragged me into the bathroom and it was just the two of us.

“Gwen got hurt. I can’t tell Dad, he’s gonna hurt me.” She said, her voice shaky.

“Let me see.” I responded, not sure of what to expect.

Everyone else was distracted, and it was just me and Colleen, and Gwen. I followed her into her bedroom. I was about to scream at what I just saw, but she quickly covered my mouth with her hand and told me to shut up.

Gwen was on the ground, her face was purple. She had a wire cord wrapped tightly around her neck. She wasn’t moving or breathing. I’ve never seen a dead person before, but I knew this had to be it.

“What happened?!” I almost screamed. I was shaking and my legs were jelly.

“I don’t know.. it got out of hand.” Colleen said, and she was acting so weird, so strange. She didn’t seem to be that upset. She seemed hyper and jittery.

“What are we gonna do?” She asked. I didn’t do anything, this was all Colleen’s fault.

“We have to wake Dad up.” I told her, and she just laughed nervously and shook her head.

“No. I’m not.” She responded.

“This is your fault!” I said in a loud voice. She covered my mouth again.

“I have an idea.” Colleen’s eyes got big, like she discovered the greatest idea in the world. She scared me. I was always put-off by Colleen, but this time she was really scary and unpredictable.

That’s when she revealed the big plan. She was going to call the cops and tell them that Dad did it. She said that he never takes care of us, and we live in a bad home. The cops will believe her because we’re just kids. Then he will be locked up and gone forever, and we’ll live in a better home, and this will never happen again. I asked her a few questions, but it seemed like she had it all planned out. She showed no remorse for Gwen, in fact she was so involved in her story that she started to really believe that Dad did it.

Her plan really did work, because the cops took Dad away, and our foster mother was able to move us into a better home. We didn’t have an adult home with us most of the day, because she worked. The four of us: Nadine, Helen, Colleen and I, took care of ourselves. We were around the same age as well, 12 and 13.

But I never told anyone what really happened, and I was the only one to know the truth. I was terrified of Colleen. Actually, I am terrified of Colleen. I was worried she would go after me, or the other girls. She took Gwen’s life over a doll. That made me fear for my sisters and I. I didn’t even think of telling our mom, or the other girls. Colleen was extremely smart and I have no idea what she’s capable of. Sometimes I fear that I’m next.

I thought to myself, that maybe it was just a mistake and it’ll never happen again. I tried to live my life like normal, and pretend like I knew nothing of her crime. But things kept happening, and I knew I needed to protect myself and my sisters.

Colleen was obsessed with watching murder documentaries and true crime on the TV. No more cartoons or Drake and Josh; it was all about death. Even my other sisters thought it was strange. She even got into Jeffrey Dahmer and other serial killers who not only killed their victims but ate them.

She would say, “I wonder what they taste like,” and “I heard you absorb their powers by eating them,”

I grew more and more scared each day, because I knew the real Colleen. My sisters just thought she was weird or edgy, but I knew what she really did. I never spoke to her about Gwen ever again, I never brought it up. I was hoping that nothing like that would ever happen, until one snowy day in December when it happened again.

I looked everywhere for Colleen, who disappeared into the snowy backyard, in the dark. Mom wasn’t home yet, she wouldn’t be home for another few hours. I had a horrible feeling in my gut that Colleen was doing something really bad. So I searched for her.

That’s when I found her standing in the snow, looking down. When I caught up to her, I swallowed the lump in my throat. Tears brimmed my eyes, a combination of cold air and fear. I saw a boy, around our age, face down in the snow. The snow was red around him, and Colleen held the knife in her hand. She was fascinated by what she’s done.

“Colleen!” I screamed at her. She turned and pointed the knife at me.

“Can you leave me alone? Why are you always following me?” She asked, nonchalant.

“I thought it was a mistake with Gwen.” My voice was shaking.

“What if he’s so smart and strong, I can absorb his powers and be stronger too?” She asked, and I thought it was some sick joke but the look on her face was serious.

I turned on my heel, ready to sprint back to the house, lock the door, and call the cops. But she grabbed onto my coat sleeve, stopping me in my tracks.

“No. You’re not telling anyone. Ever.” She told me.

Colleen could sense that I was unimaginably terrified of her, and she loved having power over me. That’s how she had control over me. I just didn’t want her to hurt me, or my other sisters, or anyone for that matter. She told me she wouldn’t hurt us, if we kept her secrets.

She used fear to bind us, to control us. And from then on, that’s when the madness began.