Yesterwary

Demi trudged through what was once a field of paper flowers—an offering of love that could never be. Time and weather had turned it into something of a mushy bog. It was no longer heart-shaped, and it was no longer beautiful. To Demi, it was just a reminder of all the things this place would never allow her to have.

With the weight of her few belongings on her shoulder, Demi glared at the fog, staring it down as if it were a beast that could be tamed and trained. She turned for a last glance at the city, at the library roof, at the darkness that lingered over the entire town… she hoped that she would catch sight of a tousled, wild mane hurrying toward her from the distance. But she was met only by the misery that emanated from within Yesterwary.

“Demetria…”

Inhaling heavy, soggy air deep into her lungs, Demi pushed her chin out, bit her lip, and reached a toe toward the fog.

“Wait!”

A sigh of relief whooshed past her lips as she dropped her bag to the wet, withered grass and turned, running toward Bastian. Their feet sloshed against the ground, weaving trails of crushed, saturated paper into the middle of the field.

“I didn’t think you were coming,” she whispered, breathing in the scent of rain and cigarette smoke as he wrapped her in his arms.

“I almost didn’t,” he said, cheek against her hair. “But I had to. I had to ask, one last time.”

“Ask?” Demi prodded, backing away to study his face. “Ask what?”

“Don’t go,” he begged, glancing over her shoulder to the waiting fog. “Please? Stay here, with me…”

Demi huffed, chewing the inside of her cheek to keep the tears at bay. “You’re not here because you want to go with me.”

Bastian tilted his head with regret. “Demi, nothing good is waiting out there.”

“You don’t know that,” she said, turning her back to him as she headed for her bag.

“This place is so fucked up, you really think getting out would be that simple?” he questioned, jogging to keep up with her. “You think the exit is as easy as walking away?”

“I have to try,” she said, hoisting her bag back up to her shoulder.

“Why?”

“Because trying is the most important thing anyone can do,” she said, standing inches from the fog. “It’s my fault Michael left. It’s my responsibility to find him.”

“Demi—”

“Wishes aren’t enough, Bastian,” she cried, turning to him with watery eyes as she cut him off. “I’m sorry. I wish they were, but they’re not. And, if I stay, wishes are all I’ll ever have.”

“You’ll have me,” he whispered, one last plea. He lowered himself to one knee, sinking a bit into the damp ground. From his coat pocket, he produced a dull, silver ring with a black, glinting stone in the middle. “Marry me. Stay here… and marry me. We will find a way to be happy, and to love, and to beat this place.”

On many days since her arrival in Yesterwary, Demi would have been overjoyed to hear Bastian ask her such a thing. But on this day, there was no joy. She gripped his arm and brought him back to his feet. She folded his hand back around the ring, and tried to ignore the empty pain in her chest as her eyes locked with his.

“You’re just another wish,” she whispered, “lost in the land of fallen hopes. I won’t marry you. Not here. Not in this place. Not like this.”

In the agony that was laced with anger and betrayal, Bastian’s hands shook as he wrapped them around Demi’s waist and pulled her close. In one last effort to show that he was more than a lost wish, he pushed his lips against hers, and held her in that moment for as long as time would overlook them.

Through the rain and the darkness and the silence of their own hearts, Demi and Bastian proved that even the strongest of hopes and the hardest of wishes could not create love in a place that love had left behind. Their hearts remained silent, the sky remained dark, and the rain continued to shower the land of fallen hopes with reminders of what was lost. Yesterwary would never be a place for love.

“I’m going to get out,” she said, leaning her forehead against Bastian’s chin, “I’m going to make it back to the old world. And when I do, I will find you. I will circle the earth, if I have to. I’ll show you that there’s nothing to be afraid of, because I will love you.” With her lips next to his ear, she whispered the closest thing to a farewell that she could manage: “Don’t let go.”

Without looking back, Demi pushed down the pain that swelled inside. Had she allowed herself one last look at what she was leaving behind, she wouldn’t have been strong enough to step away. But, with her eyes tightly shut, she carried on into the fog. Then, in the enveloping whiteness, the pain was gone.