Chapter 33
“Go away.” Kitten yelled out for what felt like the hundredth time to whoever was knocking on the other side of her bedroom door. She swallowed, hoping this time whoever it was, would finally listen and leave her alone.
She forced her burning eyes up off the floor towards her makeshift bed-stand once more, staring at the compass Aleksei had given her a few days ago. That had been before he had attacked her. Before when he still thought her some part of the team. Back when she had still thought she was part of their family. Now she wasn’t sure what to think. It hurt too much.
Her fingers tightened around the hard leather that lay in her hand like some magical talisman, clutching it close to her heart.
She bit her lip, wondering, not for the first time, if maybe Tom was right and she should put the thing on. Then it would stop things like this from happening. Then she would be safe.
She closed her eyes for a moment, hoping it would help the burn in her eyes. She had stayed up all night, hiding under her bed like a frightened child. Even with her door locked, she felt unsafe in this room. Worst, she decided. She felt more broken then when she first came here. Nothing her father or the other boys had ever done to her had hurt so badly. Those had just been physical, never mind games like Aleksei.
A knock later made her jerk her head as her eyes flew open. For a moment she wondered how long she had been asleep as she cursed herself.
She can’t fall asleep. They can probably get in here. Her dad had a spare key. She had to figure out some other place to hide. Somewhere else that was safe.
“Go away.” She yelled out again, rubbing her tired eyes. “I’m not hungry.”
“I know.”
Kitten opened her mouth once more to tell Ivan to leave. Only Ivan wasn’t Aleksei. He didn’t hurt. She slipped out from under the bed and took a few steps towards the door.
She halted and checked the bracelet she still carried in her hand. She hesitated for a moment, rubbing her fingers along the images branded into the leather. Only one of them she recognized.
Medic.
She swallowed before placing it comfortably on her wrist and trying it on. After all, Tom had said it would protect her.
“Kitten?” Ivan called out again, his voice showing no hint of emotion.
“Coming.” She replied without thinking as she examined her wrist. Tom was right. She felt braver. Maybe that’s what the other symbols were for. Kitten grinned. She had never worn a bracelet before. Mama never kept jewelry, calling it a waste of money. Only Kitten had seen some of the other women wear this kind of stuff when they went to church on Sundays. She had always loved how pretty the other women looked, sparkling in the sunlight.
Remembering that Ivan was waiting for her, Kitten quickly covered the bracelet with the sleeve of her jersey before unlocking the door for him.
“Sorry, trouble with the door.” She checked the hall behind him, noting it was a few students walking. None of the Alpha Pack were around. “Did Lexie send you?”
“I came alone.” He confirmed.
She checked once more, partly surprised that even Boris wasn’t the one standing at her door. Boris was her friend. He wouldn’t hurt her.
“Kay.” She stepped back and let Ivan in, although there wasn’t much room for him to be in with his giant bulk.
She made her way past him to her bed, finding a comfortable seat and grabbing a pillow to hold in front of her as if it were a shield.
“Are you ok?” He asked, standing in front of her.
“Yeah.” She glared up at him. “Couldn’t you maybe sit down? You’re too tall.”
He seemed to consider her words before nodding and making himself comfortable on the floor.
Kitten watched him in silence.
“Want a cookie?” He pulled one from his pocket. “It’s not food.”
She opened her mouth to refuse but was ashamed when her stomach chose that moment to growl. He smiled gently and handed her the treat. She dropped the pillow and began wolfing the item down in a few bites.
She had just finished it and began licking her fingers when she found he had another one out.
She promised herself it would be the last one as she reached for it and finished that one too.
Ivan remained silent as she ate, one more, then another, then another after that.
She lost count how many she ended up consuming. All she remembered was that they were all equally good.
“I brought some more.” He leaned over towards her, making her tense up slightly as he dug into his other pocket, then seemed to search in his pants. “For later.”
He stacked the ones he had pulled out on top of her make-shift bed-side table. Her mouth nearly dropped at seeing the pile. The pile was still perfectly whole, save for one or two that had been broken along the trip to her room. There was enough to fill a dinner plate. The most he had even given her to keep in her room. She looked up at him questioningly.
“It is alright.” He began. “You can come out.”
“No.” She began shaking her head viciously. “No, no, no.”
“You are worried about the Captain?” He leaned forward, tilting his head so he could still look at her.
“It doesn’t matter.” She replied stubbornly.
“He will not bother you. He is in the medic ward.”
“What?” That moment, all the stories Boris had told her about the fights between Ivan and Aleksei returned to her. “Is he alive?”
“Concussion.” The reply came as if it were nothing serious. Kitten stared at him. She had become so used to this side of Ivan, the one that baked cookies and smiled that she had forgotten the fighter side of him.
“He tried to...” Kitten stopped herself and looked away. How was she meant to explain this to Ivan? He was an Alpha before she ever had been. If she ever had been.
“You broke him.”
Ivan’s words caught her by surprise. She turned back to him.
“What are you talking about?” She yelled. “He attacked me. How am I supposed to trust him?”
Ivan shrugged before sitting back, relaxing his back against the night-stand.
“Like how you make cookies.” Ivan replied thoughtfully. “You put different things in a bowl and hope they don’t burn in the oven when you do not look.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Aleksei’s cookies were tasteless.” Ivan continued simply. “We were all beginning to go tasteless. You came and added taste to everything again.”
“So I’m a flavour?”
“You’re good for us.” Ivan corrected. “For Aleksei. He is becoming more human.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better.” Kitten frowned. “I’m not here to help people. I’m here to survive. I have to get better.”
“Are you sure?” Ivan’s question surprised her.
“Well, yeah. I mean that’s the system.”
“The system.” Ivan seemed to think over the words before he closed his eyes. “The system is that you are a Meat-Bag. We decided to give you a name.”
“Yeah.” Kitten admitted.
“The system is that you should always be taught your place. This is not so.”
“I guess.”
“The system is that you would be best for a Pretty Boy.”
Kitten felt her mouth go dry. “That’s not fair, I’m learning to fight.”
“That is not the reason.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “You are more useful to anyone here because of your body.”
“What?”
“Most here will have the same intention.” Ivan pointed out.
“So that’s what Lexie was doing? Trying to make me into some Pretty Boy?” She felt tears sting her eyes. “I thought he didn’t like Pretty Boys.”
“He does not keep them with us.” Ivan corrected. “It does not mean he hates them.”
“So he did want me as one.”
“We all do.” Ivan corrected. Her mouth dropped at his response. “Does this hurt you?”
“I don’t know.” She pulled her legs up and hugged them. “I don’t know enough about anything in this place to know if I should be hurt.”
“It is not my intention to hurt.”
“I know.” She looked up at him and smiled. “You and Boris I can forgive almost anything. Dimi and Lexie…It feels harder sometimes.”
“Try and forgive. Aleksei did not mean to hurt you.” Ivan soothed. “He tries to protect you. He is becoming human again. This is good.”
“I should have fought back or something.” Kitten thought out loud. “I mean, I feel so silly when I think about it. Only it was Lexie. I could see he was sick.”
Ivan shook his head and reached out to tap her nose. “You are the one that cares. Do not doubt that. You bring our heart back. You should not change this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing.” Ivan stood up and stretched before holding out his hand to her. “Come, do you wish to see Aleksei?”
She hesitated before nodding and grabbing his hand, allowing him to pull her up.
“Yes.” She agreed. “Let’s go.”