Chapter 28
“Dmitri, wake up.” Kitten’s eyes shot open at Aleksei’s voice. She blinked before trying to slink further under the blanket she was already hiding under. “Are you okay?”
The bed smelt too stale of cigarettes and salt to be her bed. The room sounded too much like boys up close to sound like her room. Even the hand on her shoulder felt too warm through the material of the blanket to be part of her morning routine.
“Owie.” A familiar squeak moaned. “I stubbed my foot.”
“Be more attentive Boris…Dmitri?” Aleksei gave her another gentle shake. “Are you feeling okay?”
Kitten shut her eyes and silently wished everyone was gone.
“Just a bad dream.” She whispered under her breathe. “This isn’t real. I’m not here.”
“What’s a bad dream?”
“Dmitri dreams? – Owie!” She almost laughed at the absurdity of Boris’s question. Dmitri had to dream. Then again she had thought Dmitri always slept like the others too.
Carefully she shook her head, hoping that would get the captain to leave her alone. If the boys left the dorm, then maybe she could sneak out before they even noticed she was here.
Wait, why was she even here? She frowned for a moment as she tried recalling the events from last night. She remembered bumping into Dmitri.
“You’re not well?” She heard a low whistle. “Should I get a nurse for you?”
Her eyes widened as she quickly shook her head.
Just get out, she silently wished. Please!
She wrinkled her nose, wishing for fresh air. The bed didn’t just smell of cigarettes but had flecks of ash lying on the mattress. Dmitri probably smoked in bed. Some of it was so close to her nose that she was in danger of sniffing it if the boys didn’t leave soon.
“No nurse!” She heard Boris squeak. “He’s really sick captain!”
“I guess I could use that needle we have in the first aid kit.”
Kitten’s eyes widened.
“No.” She darted up, finding four neatly dressed boys watching her.
Ivan with his usual crossed arms and sullen expression.
Dmitri had Boris hostage in a painful looking grip and Aleksei, who was the closest to her, was now standing with a slight frown. Her eyes instantly drew towards Dmitri and Boris, her mouth dropping.
“You were here?” She gasped.
“Ain’t silence beautiful?” Dmitri let go of Boris who began rubbing his shoulder. “Fools the smartest enemy.”
“So you knew I was here!” She turned angrily towards Aleksei.
“Of course I knew.” He replied calmly. “You’re too small to be Dmitri.”
Kitten opened her mouth before closing it again, not sure if she had been complimented or insulted.
“Do you want to talk about this?” Aleksei began when she remained silent.
“No.” Kitten swallowed, wishing the earth would open up and swallow her.
“Ya should.” Dmitri was grinning from his spot. “Start with the bit about the screams.”
“Screams?” Aleksei flung the question towards her.
“It’s nothing.” Kitten dived back under the bedding, throwing the blanket over her head. “Just go away.”
She felt like crying all over again and a hot wave of anger washed over her. A second later, her sanctuary was invaded as a corner of the blanket was lifted, showing Aleksei’s face. “We need to talk.”
“No.” She answered bitterly.
“Should I get rid of the others?” He asked.
“Nooooo.” Kitten felt a huge weight above her. “My Kitten needs me.”
“Boris, get off her.” Aleksei lifted his head, scowling. “She needs to breathe.”
“I got this.” Dmitri’s words were followed by a finger snap. Kitten heard Ivan’s low growl before Boris’s weight vanished off her, protesting. “Ya two chat. We’ll wait outside.”
The door slammed and there was a sigh before the corner of the bedding was lifted again. Kitten wished she could turn around and not look at Aleksei’s scarred blue eyes. It made her feel like she was in trouble all over again. If she moved that meant losing any covering that was protecting her. Instead, she closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at him. She heard movement next to her. For a brief moment, she hoped he had vanished. “I didn’t sneak in.”
“I know.”
“Huh?” Her eyes flew open at his words. She watched him trying to figure out if it was some kind of trick. “You know?”
“Dmitri brought you.” He was sitting on the ground now. His face was lower than her as he sat on the floor. “He was pointing out my bad leadership skills. He does that sometimes. I should have focused on you the past few days instead of…” Aleksei halted mid-sentence, his face contorting slightly. “Forget it. You’ll sleep here for the next few nights until you feel safe again.”
“Here?” She shot up.
“Being around others help.” He looked at her gravely, lowering the blanket and sitting up. “Unless you’d prefer somewhere else?”
“I’d prefer my own room.”
“Is that all?” Aleksei’s eyes narrowed.
She blinked before tears burned her eyes. “I want Teddy back.”
“The boy that was with you?”
“He was still a baby.” Kitten correct, her shoulders shaking as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. “He shouldn’t have died. It should have been me. He was still just a baby...”
“There is no such thing here.” Aleksei’s shoulders hunched over for a moment. “You have to understand that there are the ones that survive and those that don’t.”
“But he ...”
“I told you before to stop being a girl.” He snapped at her slightly before a pained look crossed his face. He closed his eyes and rubbed his nose. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I know this must be hard to understand. Right now you are experiencing something called survivors guilt. You have to learn to move on.”
“Move on? How am I supposed to move on when I can still smell Teddy’s blood? When I remember that room? When it keeps coming back in my dreams?” She knew she was being hysterical but couldn’t stop herself. She began laughing. “That this place honestly chops up people to use again.”
“It’s called Enlightenment.”
“A what?”
“That’s what happened.” Aleksei’s brow furrowed. “From the sounds of it, Dmitri has already explained it to you?”
“He told me some guys use others for spare parts.” She felt her face fall.
“That’s about it, to put it mildly.” Aleksei nodded. “It’s called Enlightenment. Hitting the next plain. Chasing the red high.”
“That’s crazy.”
“It’s the way things work.” She watched Aleksei close his eyes for a moment. That’s when she noticed the dark rings under them were even darker than usual. “I studied the method in theory about a year back. There is no basis for what they do but it helps preserve the nature of the island.”
“You can’t be serious.” Kitten gasped. “You’re one of them?”
“No. I just studied them.” He corrected. “I have a very good friend that is one. He helped me a lot as a Captain when I first started out. He’s part of a group that prefers the adults.”
Kitten’s mouth dropped. “Adults?”
“You don’t eat your own kind, Kitten.” He leaned forward to tap her on the nose. “Rule one. It’s why I preferred studying with his group. The adults aren’t like us. They never will be. The sect I studied believed anyone, Meat-Bag or Cut was the same blood so never touched either. Some sects believe Meat-Bags are food and will hunt those only. Others prefer other Cuts because they believe those will make them stronger. Some are even more select and chase after higher ranked fighters or captains for an even better chance to become stronger.
“But Teddy was just a ...”
“He would still be a Meat-Bag.” Aleksei frowned. She could hear the irritation in his voice. “So are you.”
She froze.
“You also survived. Maybe they only realized who you were after they took you.” Aleksei continued grimly. “Either way, its time you grew up about this. I warned you before that this wasn’t some fairytale island with fairies and unicorns. Do you even care that we were searching for you for hours? Or Boris was nearly beside himself for losing you. Ivan even pulled in some of his old team-mates to help out. That’s a slap to me as a Captain, that my own team doesn’t even trust me to find you but I agreed to it. That’s how badly we wanted to get you back. The only thing you’re worried about is Teddy and you can’t bring him back. We’re just glad that your here and you don’t seem to care about that. It’s illogical.”
“Because I have feelings.” Kitten yelled. “What are you? Some monster that you don’t feel stuff when people die? Don’t you grieve for them like normal people?” She saw the blank look on Aleksei’s face and her anger vanished as her mouth dropped. “You don’t grieve?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“You don’t go to your friends graves and mourn for them when they die?”
“Irrelevant. They are dead when they are dead, as I will be when I die.” Aleksei shrugged. “Besides, we don’t have graves.”
“No graves?” Kittens’ eyes widened in horror. She leaned closer to him. “What happens to our bodies when we die? How am I supposed to say good-bye to Teddy?”
“Teddy is gone.” Aleksei repeated irritably.
“How do you say goodbye to dead people Lexie?” Kitten began fuming. “Like if Boris wanted to talk to his parents or if I wanted to speak to my mom, we would go to the graveyard they were buried in. Where do you go?”
She saw him freeze at the question.
“I don’t know.” She caught the few whispered words.
“You don’t know where the island graveyard is?”
“I don’t know where I’d go to speak to my mom.” His eyes narrowed at her. “I told you before we don’t have a graveyard here. Anyone that dies is burned in the Medic building.”
“Oh.” Kitten blinked, opening her mouth before taking a deep breath. “Lexie, is your mommy dead?”
“That’s none of your business.” He stood up quickly. “Hurry up. I have meetings I still need to attend thanks to your adventure.”
Kitten was about to protest when the door opened up, catching both her and Aleksei’s attention as Dmitri’s head peered in.
“Ya both still alive.” He began, closing the door behind him in that lazy manner of his. “Do ya need a few more minutes to finish killing each other?”
“What do you want Dmitri?” Aleksei growled at his friend who was walking towards them, the smell of coffee following him. In his hand was a tin cup that Kitten suspected had been taken from the mess hall. A sandwich was in the other.
He held out the coffee to Aleksei as if it were a peace offering. When Aleksei didn’t take it, Dmitri shoved the cup into their captain’s hand and handed Kitten the sandwich.
“The Rat got it.” Dmitri stated simply, indicating to her she better eat it if she didn’t want Boris to feel bad.
Now she really felt like hitting Dmitri with something.
Instead, she gritted her teeth and took a bite from the food. She had to remember to thank Boris later for it.
Aleksei took a sip of his drink and shuddered. “There’s sugar in here.”
“Yeah. The kid thought it was for the princess.”
Kitten watched as Aleksei glowered at the drink before taking another gulp. Part of her taking glee at the face he was pulling and part wondering why he didn’t just wait until they were in the mess hall to grab breakfast and make his own stupid coffee. Boris wasn’t his lackey.
“Thanks.” Aleksei grabbed another gulp and wincing. “We could have grabbed our own.”
“Nah. More fun this way.” Dmitri slunk his hands into his pockets, clearly watching the two. “Besides I be the bearer of bad news.”
Kitten noticed Aleksei halt mid-way to finishing his drink. “What bad news?”
“We got word from the council that they wanna see Kitten at the trail.”
“Those idiots!” Kitten watched in horror as Aleksei threw his cup across the room, the remains of the coffee spreading over the dorm floor as the cup hit the wall with a loud clang. “What the heck do they want her for? I gave them all the information they needed. Tom was there. This is a closed cased. The last three days have been nothing but a waste of everyone’s time.”
“Ya know why.” Dmitri glanced her way, slowly examining her. Her eyes narrowed for a movement before lifting up in surprise as he gave her a quick wink. “Our Kitty here is famous.”
“I am?”
“Well, ya the only one here that gotta sit down to...”
“We’re still famous for being the jokes of the school.” Aleksei reminded Dmitri, cutting off ‘The Sharks’ sentence. “Fame doesn’t mean anything.”
“Awe, here I hoped for a ticket to the nurses VIP line.” Dmitri teased.
“You already have that.”
“Only cause I’m cute.” Dmitri seemed to puff out his chest slightly before seeming to get an idea. He went to his bunker and pulled out some clothes, handing them to Kitten. “Here, ya better put those on.”
“What?”
“The meetings in a few. Ya need to change now or ya’ll be late. ” Dmitri grinned before his eyes roved over her again. “I can help if ya want?”
“That’s not necessary.” Aleksei barked, grabbing Dmitri by his arm and pulling him towards the door before turning to Kitten. “Just hurry and get ready. You’re the only one not dressed and you and I have to go.”
Kitten stared at the dorm door with her jaw open as it closed. Finally, she took a pillow from behind her and threw it towards the door.
“Stupid Lexie.” She hissed.
“I can hear you.” Aleksei responded from the other side of the door. “Hurry up or I’ll come dress you myself. It’s getting late.”
Kitten stuck out her tongue.
“Stupid Lexie.” She whispered, wondering if he would make good on his threat and decided to rather not test it. She stood up and began changing into the spare clothes, almost jumping when the silence in the room was broken by a ‘thunk’ sound.
She looked on the floor and found the bracelet Tom had given her. She kept wearing the same pants since that night because her others had to be washed.
She picked up the object and examined it for a moment.
“I don’t belong to a med.” She frowned before shoving it into the pocket of the pants she now wore. “Ever.”