SWNOVELS Wreck & Ruin: Chapter 17
I didn’t call Shelly. Not after the discussion Colt and I’d had about children. It was one thing to say I love you. It was another to decide whether or not you were going to create a new life together. Just because you loved someone didn’t mean it was forever. Maybe it had been that way for Colt’s parents. Maybe they’d chosen each other above all else and it didn’t matter if they agreed or disagreed about the big things.
I’d never witnessed a long marriage. Gramps hadn’t even been alive when I was born. I hadn’t grown up with a father, and I’d never seen my mother interact with another man. Even though she’d passed when I was really young, there was no hazy vision of me spending time with any father figure.
“This is why I don’t do relationships,” I muttered, loading the few dishes that rested in the sink into the dishwasher.
“Why don’t you do relationships?”
I jumped and yelped, not having heard Colt approach. A coffee mug slammed against the faucet and broke into a few large pieces. “Damn.”
“Let me clean it up. With your luck, you’re liable to cut the shit out of yourself,” Colt said, his tone gruff. He came all the way into the kitchen and sauntered over to me.
He grasped the pieces of the broken mug and walked to the trash. He wiped his hands on his jeans and then returned to stand directly behind me, caging me in with his hands on the counter. “Why don’t you do relationships?” His breath was warm and teased my skin.
I shivered. “Because I’m not good at them. I say the wrong things because I’m emotional first, rational later.”
“When are you ever rational?” he teased.
I gently elbowed him in the gut, causing him to grunt. “First of all,” Colt began, “every relationship is a failure except the one that works. You and I work.”
“You don’t know that. Our relationship is barely longer than a mayfly’s gestational period. It was stupid. This whole thing was stupid.”
I attempted to duck under his arm to get away, but he wouldn’t let me. His hands went to my arms to gently turn me around to face him.
“Look at me,” he said quietly.
“No.” I pinched my eyes shut.
“Mia,” he said, laughter in his tone. “Will you please look at me? I want to say something to you.”
“So say it. I don’t need to look at you to hear you. You don’t listen with your eyes.”
“But you’ll see the truth in my expression. Please, babe, open your eyes.”
Finally, I lifted my eyelids and tilted my head back to stare at him. His hands came up from my hips to cradle my cheeks.
“You should always speak your mind. There will be times that I don’t want to hear it. Times that I disagree with you. Times that I agree with you. There will be times that I know you’re right, but wish you were wrong. Or I’ll know you’re wrong but wish you were right.” One of his hands left my face to brush against the bandage peeking out from my tank top.
“This? This wasn’t a whim. It wasn’t bullshit. If you don’t buy that this is real or for the long haul, then I don’t know what I can do to prove that it is. Time is my only proof, I guess. I know the only thing that will make you realize it’s legit is by showing you. So you can do whatever the fuck you want to and try to push me away.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I won’t go. You want to call me a criminal. Fine. I am. You want to tell me you don’t want babies with me because you don’t want them to grow up to be criminals? Well, I get it. But I don’t see myself that way even though it’s true. It’s all true. You don’t know shit about this way of life yet because all you’ve been exposed to is Dev and you’ve seen Richie’s burned, tortured body. Give me some time and I promise you you’ll see it all differently.”
“Colt,” I whispered.
“My name is James,” he said, his tone raspy. “James Stewart Weston, and when I marry you, you’ll be a Weston. And when we have kids—because damn it, there needs to be tiny yous running around in this world, they’ll be Westons too. There needs to be more light in this shit-as-fuck world. And the only way I know how to leave it a better place is to give it a piece of you. Because you’re all fucking heart and I know that. I know it in my soul, Mia. I swore I’d protect you and keep you safe. That goes for our family too. I’ll protect you,” he repeated. “All of you.”
The tears that had been hovering finally came with an intensity I couldn’t hold back. Nothing could contain them, and I let out a heaving sob.
From that moment I knew that whatever Colt was, whatever life path he was on, I would be there for him.
I would ride beside him as his woman, forever.
“I’ve been alone so long,” I whispered. “I didn’t even know what a family is supposed to look like.”
“It can look however you want, honey. But don’t say no because you’re scared. Don’t say no because you think you’ll fail. You can’t fail, not with me. I choose you and I will not leave you.”
“Everyone leaves,” I said, my tears blurring my vision. “They don’t mean to, but they do.”
“Not me. I’m not gonna die and leave you alone. Whoever has the rights to my soul will have to drag me kicking and screaming. You give me too much to live for. So whatever shit we have to get through now, we will. We’ll endure. Together.”
His words left me breathless, like a powerful aphrodisiac. This strong, brave man—I knew he couldn’t protect me from everything. He couldn’t shield me from all that life would throw at us. That wasn’t the point. The point was he’d be with me through it all.
“I need to feel you,” I whispered.
His hands dropped from my body so he could step away. His eyes were dark.
I leaned against the edge of the counter, widening my legs ever so slightly.
He swallowed. “I don’t—I can’t—be gentle.”
“I’m not asking for gentle.”
He took me into his arms and our lips crashed together. We tore at each other’s clothes in a mindless frenzy. I was still in Colt’s boxers and my tank top so it took no effort to slither out of them. His hands went to my hair and his lips found mine again as he started walking backward.
I pulled my mouth from his. “Where are you going?”
“Trying to get you upstairs. You’re walking naked through my house, you know.”
“I thought it was our house?” I asked with a grin.
“Damn right, it’s our house.”
“They why aren’t we having sex on our kitchen floor?”
“I’m out of condoms,” he said with a chuckle. “I have more in my dresser drawer upstairs.”
I inhaled a shaky breath as I forced myself to meet his gaze. “We don’t need them.”
“We don’t?” he asked, his tone equally as flat as mine.
“I get the shot. I’m—protected.”
“You sure?”
I nodded.
“What if something happens?”
“Then something happens.”
His mouth swooped in to take mine. For all his dominance, this kiss was sensual, tender. Full of emotion that wasn’t just about lust, but about something so much deeper.
Love.
It was about love.
It was about promise. A promise of the life we’d share together until death parted us.
I kissed him back just as eagerly, wrapping my arms around him. We sank to the floor. True to Colt’s fantasy, I was on top, straddling him, completely naked. Only he still had all his clothes on.
I helped remove them as fast as possible. Our eyes met, our fingers grazed skin. I took him into my body with no barriers between us. All our walls were down.
“Christ.” He swallowed. His brown eyes looked bright against his skin.
I’d never felt anything like it. I’d never been with a man without a condom. It was the ultimate bond of trust between us.
This beautiful, inked, criminal wanted to protect and shield me. He wanted a family with me. He wanted a life with me, and I wanted one with him.
Emotion that I had beaten back suddenly trailed down my cheeks. Colt’s hands reached up to cradle my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away. When we came, we came together, and my heart was no longer mine, but had been given fully to the man beneath me.
I rested my cheek against his skin and closed my eyes. I breathed him in, savoring the moment, knowing that when we put our clothes back on we’d go back to being Colt and Mia. For now, we were just two hearts beating as one; bare, naked, unprotected.
“Was it everything you hoped it would be?” I asked, finally lifting my face and setting my chin on his breastbone.
He tilted his chin to peer down at me, a slight grin on his lips. “It was better. I should’ve known it would’ve been that way. It was a damn good fantasy come to life.”
I smiled and slowly raised myself off him.
“Ah, I need a towel,” I said, feeling my cheeks flush. “I’m kinda…”
“Kinda what?”
“You’re all—ah…”
He laughed, a large booming sound that I swore shook the walls of the house.
“Dish towel hanging from the oven.”
He got up and looked around for his boxers. Colt was just sliding into them when the front door opened, causing Colt and I to look at each other in confusion. Just in the nick of time, I managed to dive behind Colt’s huge, brawny form before Zip strolled in.
“What the fuck,” Colt barked. “You can’t just walk in unannounced.”
“Then why did you give me a key?”
I reached for the red and white checkered tablecloth on the kitchen table, one ear listening to Colt lay into Zip. The bowl of fruit rested in the center, but I managed to grab the edge of the cloth and pull it toward me. Unfortunately, the fruit spilled onto the floor, an orange rolling past Colt.
“Fruit suicide,” I said and then let out a laugh as I dragged the tablecloth around me.
“Is she drunk?” Zip asked.
“Nope,” I voiced. “Just trying to ease the tension before Colt levels you to the ground.”
Zip suddenly smiled. “I don’t think it’s working. He still looks like he wants to smash my face in.”
“My woman is naked,” Colt stated. “Good thing she’s small and can hide behind me out of sight. Now get the fuck out onto the porch. I’ll be with you in a minute.”
Zip laughed but left. A moment later the front door slammed shut.
Colt looked over his shoulder at me and I gave him a cheeky grin, but he wasn’t amused. “No one else gets to see you like this. Do you hear me?”
I hugged him from behind. “I don’t want anyone else to see me like this. Okay? Go talk to Zip about whatever it is he needs.”
“What makes you think he needs anything except destroying my post orgasm serenity?” he asked, though he sounded mollified.
“Intuition.” I stood up on my tiptoes. “I’ll head upstairs. Shower. Finish packing. I need to call Shelly anyway.”
Colt’s arms enclosed my waist. “Holler if you need help.”
“Help? Help with what?”
He grinned. “Cleaning those hard to reach dirty places.” Colt lightly smacked me on the butt and I left the kitchen before he had a chance to get me naked again.
“You. Did. What?” Shelly screeched.
I held the phone away from my ear and winced, letting her get out all her emotion.
“Are you done?” I asked.
“Well, I don’t know,” she admitted. “I can’t believe you—well—you got a tattoo? And you’re like, Colt’s woman? His Old Lady?”
“You’ve got Mark’s ring on your finger. What’s the difference?” I demanded, suddenly losing my patience.
She fell silent and I instantly felt terrible. “Listen,” I said. “You’re my best friend in the entire world. You’re my soul sister. I want you to be happy for me and celebrate this.”
Shelly paused on the other end of the line. “I am happy for you. I really am. But I can’t help but worry about you. You’re not the girl that makes these kind of decisions at the drop of a hat.”
“Richie’s dead,” I blurted out. “The Iron Horsemen dumped his mutilated body in front of the Blue Angels’ clubhouse.”
“He’s dead?”
“Yep. I saw his body, Shelly. I saw what they did to him.”
“Jesus, Mia. Seriously?” She exhaled slowly. “Is this why you jumped into a relationship with Colt? Because you’re scared of the Iron Horsemen?”
“I jumped into a relationship with Colt because I love him.”
“You admit that you jumped. And how the hell can you be in love with him? You barely know him.”
“I know him.”
“You don’t.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I really don’t want to argue with you.”
“All right.”
Her tone was frosty and I understood why. She felt like she was being shut down, unable to give her opinion on my relationship and love life. She’d wanted me to meet someone; she just hadn’t wanted it to be a biker.
“There’s a party tonight at the Blue Angels’ clubhouse,” I said, offering her the olive branch. “I hope you come.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
“You’re breaking my heart, you know?” I said softly.
“Okay.” She sighed. “I’ll be there. Even though I don’t understand.”
“But you love me anyway?”
“Always and forever, soul sister. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“Good.”
I smiled. “Will Mark be able to come?”
“He’s got a work thing. But I promise we’ll have you over soon. You and Colt.”
Something unfurled inside of me. I’d have Shelly and the Blue Angels. I didn’t want them at odds. I wanted Shelly comfortable, and if she saw how the Blue Angels treated me, then she might change her mind about what I had gotten myself into.
“Can’t wait to see you,” I said. “It’s been too long.”
“Way too long.”
“See you soon,” I said, hanging up.
I took a quick shower and changed into a black halter dress that didn’t conceal my bandage. I pulled my hair into a loose side braid and just as I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup, Colt walked into the bathroom.
His gaze raked over me. “You’re gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” I said with a smile, my eyes still on my reflection so I didn’t poke my eye out with the mascara wand. “What did Zip want?”
“Wanted to talk about Joni,” he said.
“What about Joni?”
“About when she goes back to work. He wants a brother to drive her to and from her shift. Stay at the hospital while she’s there.”
“That’s overkill, don’t you think?” I asked. I shoved the wand back in its tube and screwed it shut.
“She lives alone, which I hate. She’s staying at the clubhouse for the next little while, which she’ll completely balk at, knowing her. I know she won’t like having a brother dogging her heels, but I’ll be damned if I give Dev a chance to pull some shit while she’s at work.”
I didn’t ask if he was capable of that—if I could conceive it, then it was possible. After all, he’d dropped Richie’s tortured body at the Blue Angels’ clubhouse and done a drive by on Blue Angels’ territory. I didn’t think there was much he wouldn’t do to get his point across.
“I’m gonna call another one of our chapters,” he said, looking thoughtful. “I need more men at our backs. We’ve got a lot of older brothers—men from my dad’s time, but they’re not up for this kind of shit.”
“I didn’t know there were more members,” I said. “Will I get to meet them?”
“Eventually.” He leaned against the bathroom counter. “Zip volunteered to be the one to drive Joni and sit at the hospital.”
“You’re gonna make your VP a watchdog?”
His eyes narrowed. “No one I trust more than him to protect my sister. And it was his idea.”
“Right. Zip’s idea…”
I wondered how Joni would feel when she found out this had all been orchestrated by Zip. Zip, who’d pretended they meant nothing to each other. Zip, who’d stayed over at her house the night she got injured because he couldn’t bear to leave her side. Zip, the manwhore of a biker who wasn’t supposed to have any feelings toward her.
Something was cooking there, I was sure of it. But for some reason Colt didn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. I wasn’t going to be the one to let him in on the situation.
“You almost ready?” he asked.
“Yeah, almost. Just need to pack up the last of my stuff and we can go.”
“I got something for you.” He left the bathroom and after gathering up my makeup and placing it in a floral makeup bag Joni had gotten me from the mall, I followed after him.
Colt was standing by his nightstand drawer, holding a black velvet jewelry box. My eyes flew to his and he chuckled when he saw my panicked expression. “It’s not a ring. It belonged to my mother. Open it.”
I flipped open the box, completely charmed and delighted by the necklace. It was a dainty skull with wings on a thin silver chain. The pendant was no bigger than a dime.
“Dad gave it to Mom when she became his Old Lady. I thought you’d like to have it.”
I held out the box to him. “Put it on me.”
He grinned and took the delicate necklace in his large hands. I turned around and presented my neck and a moment later, I felt the slide of cool metal against my skin.
Colt clasped the necklace and then his fingers lingered on the curves of my shoulders and he pressed his mouth to the spot right above the bandage that protected my new tattoo.
I waited for that feeling of impending doom, expecting a tightness in my chest at another emotional tie that bound me to Colt. But it didn’t come, and the rightness of the moment settled in my bones like an anchor steadying a ship in a storm.
We finally got out of the house, hours after Colt wanted to leave, but we were on our way back to the clubhouse when his phone rang.
“Yeah?” He listened for a few moments and then said, “All right. Thanks. Get some brothers and we’ll meet you there. Bring the van.”
He hung up and then turned down a street that would not take us to the clubhouse. “That was Torque. He said the Iron Horsemen prospect hasn’t been at your place in six hours. We’re gonna go to your house and get your shit—whatever you want—clothes, furniture, and we’ll move it to my house. Our house.” He shot me an amused smile.
I grinned back in excitement. I would finally be able to grab the things that mattered to me, along with my entire wardrobe.
“What do you want to do with it?” he asked.
“Do with what?” I was distracted thinking about where to hang my family photos.
“Your house. You own it, right?”
“Yeah. I haven’t really thought about it, to be honest. I’m not ready to sell it, but I’m not sure I want to become a landlord and rent it out.”
I did like the idea of residual income without having to do anything. The house had been paid off for as long as I could remember and the roof had been replaced only a few years ago. It needed to be painted, but everything worked. The appliances, the fridge. It had all been taken care of.
We turned down the street and immediately had to pull over. Traffic was blocked off by cones and a fire engine. Before Colt could even put the truck into park, I was unlatching my seatbelt.
I ran down the block, sprinting into a group of people who were watching and pointing, rubbernecking but not doing anything except witnessing a house go up in flames.
“Get back!” A fireman in his uniform yelled at me when I’d dashed through the crowd, using my elbows.
I watched in numb horror as flames licked along the roof and poured out of the windows. Firemen with hoses attempted to put out the inferno.
“What the hell, Mia? You can’t just take off like that.”
I felt him at my back, but didn’t turn around to address him. “That’s my home,” I whispered, still unable to comprehend what I’d just seen.
“I know,” Colt said, his tone somber. He reached for my hand and gently pulled me toward the fireman in charge.
“Sir, please step back,” the fire chief said. He was in his mid-fifties and clearly had been doing this a long time, long enough to have a sense of authority on the scene.
“My girlfriend’s house,” Colt explained.
The man’s brown eyes shot to me. “Your home?”
I nodded. “How did this happen?”
“We won’t know for a bit yet,” he answered vaguely. “You were lucky you weren’t inside.”
“Yeah. Lucky.”
“Excuse me. I need to talk to my crew.” The fire chief dipped his head and then turned and walked away.
I heard the sound of motorcycles and immediately pressed myself against Colt.
“Relax,” he said. “They’re ours.”
A few moments later, I saw, Boxer, Reap, and Cheese striding toward us.
“Acid parked the van on the other side of the intersection,” Boxer said. “We couldn’t get through. What the hell happened?” His gaze took in the smoking remains of the house.
“My home caught fire,” I said, suddenly exhausted, bone-weary.
“Fuck,” Cheese murmured.
I started to shake. Every keepsake, every photograph, my entire family history was in that house.
“This is bad shit,” Reap said.
The men began to talk in low voices but it sounded like I was underwater and I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I somehow found it within me to detach from Colt’s side and walk to the fire chief.
“Sorry to bother you,” I said, gaining his attention. “I just wanted to give you my number so you can reach me when you have more of an idea about what happened.”
As he took my information, he asked me a ton of questions to make sure I wasn’t committing insurance fraud.
“If I had to guess the cause, I’d say it was faulty electrical,” he said after finishing his questions and realizing I’d had nothing to do with the fire.
“Faulty electrical. Sure.” I nodded even though I was screaming inside. Dev and the Iron Horsemen had done this. They were toying with me, instilling fear, trying to manipulate me into giving them what Richie had taken from them.
My phone rang and it said UNKNOWN.
“Excuse me?”
The fire chief nodded in dismissal.
I moved away from the mayhem and walked down the block to get some distance and privacy. “Hello?”
“How’s your house?” Dev asked, his tone light. Comical.
“I think you know.”
Dev laughed. “Yeah, I do.”
“Why did you do it?” I heard my voice. It sounded cool, detached.
“Simple. You take something from me, I take something from you.”
“I didn’t take anything from you.”
“No, but Richie did, and you know where it is.”
“Well, you already got him back, didn’t you?” I snapped.
“Babe?”
I whirled, phone to my ear to see that Colt had come up behind me, his face downright scary.
“Who you talkin’ to?” he asked.
I swallowed.
“Is that your man?” Dev asked. “Put him on. I want to speak to him.”
I held out the phone to Colt and he took it. His eyes never left mine as Dev spoke to him. Colt’s jaw clenched so tight it looked like his teeth would shatter.
Colt ended the call without saying a word and handed my phone back to me. I didn’t want to ask what Dev had said to him. No doubt it would only heighten my fear.
“Party’s canceled,” he said finally.
I nodded. I wasn’t in a festive, celebratory mood anyway.
We headed back to the Blue Angels that were standing on the sidewalk, looking very out of place in the quaint neighborhood. Colt spoke to them and then they disbanded, leaving Colt and I alone.
As we drove away, I looked out the window. I could see smoke in the sky, disappearing into the clouds. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the leather seat, scraping my nails against the hard fiberglass of my cast.
“Talk to me,” he said.
“About what?”
“About what’s going through your head.”
“Why?”
“You just watched your grandmother’s house go up in flames. You don’t have feelings about that?”
“I have feelings,” I said. “I know I should be angry. I know I should be ranting and screaming, cursing Dev’s name. But right now, all I can feel is sad. My entire life was in that house. Photo albums, my grandmother’s favorite teacup with a painted pink rose pattern on the delicate china, the shoebox of my mother’s favorite costume jewelry. I have no idea what survived and I can’t handle another loss, Colt.”
“I fucking hate him for this.” His tone was full of anger. “I hate that he’s playing this sick game of cat and mouse and he took this from you.”
“What did he—” my voice cracked. I cleared my throat before speaking again. “What did he say to you on the phone?”
He took a long time to answer, and when he did, he met my gaze. I nearly shivered from the cold savagery peering back at me.
“Something that’s gonna make him beg for mercy before I’m through with him.”