Would You Rather: A Novel

Mia avoided him for the rest of the day. Which was a feat in and of itself, since they worked mere feet from each other. But somehow she managed, and Noah didn’t find himself near her again until that evening at dinner.

Noah, Mia, Claire, and Graham were at Claire’s favorite pub, seated in a leather booth laughing over beers. Well, everyone else was… Noah laughed over water.

His tongue loosened way too much when he drank, so he kept himself on a pretty short leash when he knew Mia would be there.

It felt like old times when the four of them were together. With their schedules, it didn’t happen as often as they’d like. Claire’s and Graham’s especially—she was a nurse and he was a firefighter—and Noah had never been able to keep their shifts straight. But maybe once a month they made it work, and it was like college all over again.

Noah, Mia, and Claire kept their neighborhood gang intact in college, but branched out as they met new people. Graham was a little older and had been a friend of Nathan’s, but Noah had gotten to know him well on climbing trips he took with his brother. When Nathan died, Graham and Noah’s shared grief brought their friendship closer, and Mia and Claire were happy to absorb him into their group.

Claire set down her bottle with gusto and clapped her hands, her blond curls bouncing with the movement. “So,” she began. “This dinner actually worked out really well, because I’ve got something I want to talk to you guys about.”

Graham shook his head. “I’m not into foursomes.”

Claire didn’t even spare him a glance. “I watched that episode of Friends last night where they all set up their ‘backups.’ I thought about it all day, and I decided we should do that.”

Noah had seen that episode. He quickly brought his glass to his lips.

“What does that even mean? ‘Set up their backups’?” Graham asked.

“You know. Like, if they aren’t married by a certain age they’ll all marry each other.”

Mia, who sat next to Noah, jerked her head in his direction. Her eyes went wide and held slight accusation.

He shot her a look that said I didn’t say anything, and she relaxed marginally.

“Why do we have to get married at all?” Mia asked. She never had been fond of the idea and, far as he knew, she’d never dated the same guy for more than a few weeks. It was one reason Noah wasn’t completely offended that she hadn’t accepted him yet.

“I don’t know.” Claire shrugged. “It just sounds nice. Guaranteed companionship. Someone to have dinner with.”

“A penis at your fingertips,” Graham added, and Noah choked on his water.

Claire looked at Graham. “That’s not the prize you think it is.”

Graham grinned and raked a hand through his dark wavy hair. “Oh, but it is.”

Claire pointed at Noah. “This is why I want Noah to be my backup.”

“Me?” he said, at the same time Mia said, “Noah?”

“Sure,” Claire said. “Why not?”

Before he knew what was happening, Mia had leaned forward and put her palm flat on the table, as if she were placing a bet at a craps table. “If anyone gets Noah, it should be me.”

It was Noah’s turn to give Mia a surprised look. God knows what would have shown on his face if he’d been two beers deep like Graham—as it was, it took effort to keep the warm surge of pleasure out of his expression.

“But you just knocked the whole idea of getting married,” Claire pointed out mildly. She didn’t sound surprised.

Mia frowned. “That was before you tried to take my best friend and marry him out from under me.”

Noah kept his mouth shut, wanting to see how this panned out.

“He’s my friend, too,” Claire said.

“It’s not the same.” No one argued with Mia because everyone knew it was true.

Graham put his arm around Claire. “Guess that leaves you and me, Claire Bear.”

She ducked out of his embrace. “Don’t call me that.”

“Fine. What nickname do you want when you’re my wife?”

Claire sighed heavily. “I should have picked Mia.”

Noah chuckled, but she was right. Mia was the best choice out of the four of them.

Graham held out his hands. “If not me, who? Noah’s off the table. Am I so bad?”

Claire regarded him like she was inspecting a melon at the farmer’s market. “You’re hot and all, but… I don’t know. I just always hoped for someone more…romantic. I want a man who looks at me the way Mia looks at chicken wings.”

Noah wanted Mia to look at him the way Mia looked at chicken wings.

“If you’re at the point where you’re calling in backup, I think it’s safe to say that’s never gonna happen,” Graham said.

Claire gave him an adoring look. “You say the sweetest things.”

Noah held up a hand, halting their bickering. “When is all this happening? What’s your age cutoff that requires we instate the backup plan?”

“Fifty?” Graham suggested.

“Hell no.” Claire looked at him as if he were crazy. “That’s way too old. I’d say thirty if we hadn’t all hit it already.”

“Forty?” Mia offered.

Claire considered. “That works.”

“That’s only five years away,” Graham said.

“Speak for yourself, old man,” Claire said. “The rest of us are thirty.”

Noah held up his index finger.

Claire rolled her eyes. “Fine. Thirty or thirty-one. Either way, forty works.”

“So it’s Mia and Noah, Claire and me?” Graham confirmed.

Claire scowled. “This didn’t work out like I planned.” She turned eyes on Noah. “You haven’t given any input. Who do you want as your backup?”

He stilled.

“We all know he’d pick Mia,” Graham said. “Face it, my dear. I’m your man.” He winked. “And what a lucky woman you are.”

Claire scrunched her nose. “I have to know all my options. Come on, Noah. Between Mia and me, who do you want as your backup?”

He hesitated, unsure how to proceed, especially with the question hanging between him and Mia. But after a few seconds passed, Mia angled her torso toward him and one dark eyebrow lifted. She looked incredulous. Irritated, almost.

He stifled a laugh.

That one look settled his nerves, and it was like everything fell into place. He met her dark gaze and kept his voice as nonchalant as possible.

“I pick Mia, if she’ll have me.”

Between the two of them, Mia had always been the talker. In a group or on their own, she carried the conversation.

She was so sweet and genuine, people never seemed to mind. Noah certainly never had.

Even when he’d disappear into the tree house in his backyard to read in peace, she’d often find him there. Unlike Nathan, who would interrupt without so much of a you busy?, she’d at least wait until he’d finished his chapter, peeking over his shoulder to make sure before she started rambling.

Then they’d gotten old enough for cell phones and the text messages never stopped. He could probably count on one hand the days that had gone by where they hadn’t conversed at least once that way.

Which was why today had felt so weird. He hadn’t heard from her at all since Claire’s birthday dinner Friday night, and he still had no idea what was going through her mind. He’d been more tense today than the day he started the series of tests that were part of the Architect Registration Exam. He hadn’t wanted to push her, so he just let her think.

But he’d thought of little else.

He settled onto his couch Sunday evening and was seconds away from popping the top off a beer when his phone lit up.

Mia: Okay.

He closed his eyes and his shoulders relaxed.

Noah: Did you just agree to marry me via text message?

Mia: I’ll do it in person if you open the door.

The knock sounded two seconds later.

He moved the cold beer to one of the Frank Lloyd Wright coasters Mia had gotten him for graduation, stood, and walked the several feet to the front door. Mia stood on his porch looking familiar and beautiful in a white V-neck and jeans. Her black hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, as if she hadn’t had the patience to deal with it today.

“Hey.” Her voice was soft and a little hesitant, but her dark eyes met his in a steady gaze.

He’d planned to ask if she was sure, but now, having seen her face, he didn’t have to. She might be scared and a little freaked out, but she was sure.

He felt the same.

He stepped to the side. “Come on in.”

They sat side by side on the couch like they always did. She tilted her head when she noticed the beer, but didn’t comment.

“Wanna know what convinced me?” she asked, slipping off her shoes and tucking one foot underneath her thigh.

He lifted his eyes to her face. “Was it because according to Claire, we’ll just end up married at forty, anyway?”

She laughed lightly. “No, but it seemed a little like fate she asked that question that night. It was actually today when I stopped at Target to grab a few things. It wasn’t busy at all, and no one was in line behind me, so I ended up chatting with the cashier for a while.”

He grinned and shook his head. Mia could make friends with the royal guard at Buckingham Palace if given the chance.

“I said something about how I’d probably spend my entire paycheck in the store if I was there every day working.”

“You are there every day.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Not every day.”

He’d put money on twice a week. At least.

“Anyway,” she continued. “The lady was probably in her fifties, and she said she liked her job, but it wasn’t where she’d thought she’d end up. Turns out she’d always dreamed of opening up her own quilting store, but never made it happen. Said she’s regretted it ever since. I don’t want to end up in the same situation, even if it means accepting some help.”

Noah heard the struggle in those final words.

He extended his arm along the back of the couch. “I’m glad you’re letting me.”

“Also, I got another one of those stupid affirmation messages today. It said I will make the most of every opportunity.” She quirked her brow at him and he laughed.

Their pranks were usually limited to desk or computer manipulation, but he had to admit—he’d been proud of himself for coming up with that one.

“My first request as your wife will be that you cancel that. And the animal one.”

“Really? That one seemed kind of cool.”

“I mean, now I know that a shrimp’s heart is located in its head. And every time a bat exits the cave it turns left. But that’s not exactly useful information to me and I need it to stop.”

He processed the fact about shrimps (fascinating) and focused on the matter at hand. “Fine. I’ll cancel them.”

“Thank you.” She pressed her lips together and pushed them out a little, something she often did when considering what to say next. “So…how are we doing this? What happens next?”

Three days ago, Noah never would have guessed he’d be sitting here discussing marriage to his best friend. “What’s your timeline? With the scholarship stuff?”

She scrunched her nose. “Well, that’s the thing. The first full semester won’t start until the fall, but because it’s a program for adults returning to school, there’s a one credit hour course they want me to take this summer. It’s not required, but it sounds cool—it’s about finding your passions and pursuing them. I’d need to enroll pretty soon. But we don’t necessarily have to do our thing, yet. I think I could keep working at Agnew until August—”

Noah interrupted. “I say we just do it now. Get it done, so that way everything is consistent with your paperwork and we’ve worked out any insurance kinks before you start school full-time. You can take the summer to get back into the groove of being a student.” He shuddered internally at the memories of long hours struggling to stay awake in class and staying up all night in the studio working on design projects. “I can’t imagine going back to school. I’m proud of you for doing this.”

“I wouldn’t be doing it if it weren’t for you.”

“I’m proud of us, then,” he offered.

Mia released a long exhale. “So, by ‘now’ you meant…”

He shrugged. “Next week?”

Her eyes widened.

“What?”

“I don’t know…it’s just so soon. Is that even possible?”

“I looked into it a little this afternoon, just in case you…you know. Decided you wanted to go for it. We just have to go together to purchase the marriage license, and there’s no waiting period in the state of Colorado. We could get the license and get married that day, if we wanted.”

“Oh.” Her eyes darted around the room before meeting his again. “Are we, um. Telling anyone? The truth?”

He’d thought about that, too. “Claire’s gonna know something’s up. She’s the only one I think we should be honest with. Graham’s great and all, but…”

“He can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Exactly.” He paused. “Do you want to tell your parents the truth?”

“No,” she said. “I’m still worried about your dad, though.”

“I said I’d handle him, didn’t I?”

“You did. But I’ve worked for him for a long time, and I know he pays attention to every little detail. I don’t think he’ll believe it.”

“I’ll convince him it’s real,” Noah said. His parents knew him pretty well, and he had a hunch it wouldn’t take much for them to believe he was in love with Mia. “Don’t you trust me?”

“You know I do,” she said, almost grudgingly. “What about the other principals at work? Will they be suspicious? What about Julia? David? Especially him—I never got the impression he liked me much.”

“What? Why do you say that?”

She shrugged and looked down. “I don’t know. I just don’t get a good vibe from him.”

“Mia.” He heard the hard edge in his voice, but couldn’t stop it.

She sighed. “It’s not a big deal.”

Why was this the first he was hearing of this? He attempted to soften his tone. “It is to me.”

“When I was first hired on, I messed up some of his appointments. I felt terrible and apologized—but not before he said your dad hired me out of pity and that I didn’t deserve the job. It’s always stuck with me, and I get nervous around him. Any time I mess something up, it feels like it always involves him. A few years ago, I failed to get an important message to him and he’s never let me forget it. Last week I misplaced a client contract, and naturally it was his client. I get all flustered and just mess stuff up, and he makes sure I know it.”

Noah’s short fingernails dug into the skin of his palms. David had been at the firm a few years before Noah started his internship, and Mia was already a fixture at the front desk. He’d had no idea she’d felt that way. And for so long. “You’re great at your job. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.”

“According to him it’s more than that.”

Noah had never cared much for David, and now he really didn’t like the guy. “Why haven’t you said something before?”

She arched an eyebrow. “What would you do? Defend my honor?”

Hell yes. “Maybe.”

She gave a rueful smile. “It’s not that big of a deal. But I guess he’s the one I’m most worried about finding out. If he knew I was committing insurance fraud through the company…”

“Stop saying that,” Noah said, firming his tone again. He lowered his chin and looked at her pointedly. “We’ve been secretly dating for months, and tonight I popped the question. We don’t see any point in waiting for a fancy ceremony, and we decided to get married next week. Now that you’ll be a kept woman, you decided to go back to school like you’ve always wanted. I don’t mean this to come out wrong, but I don’t think anyone at the office cares enough about you or me to think otherwise. People are concerned about their own business. They’ll believe what we want them to believe.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if convincing herself his words were true. Slowly, she nodded. “Right. Okay.”

“Want me to get down on one knee?”

Her eyes went wide. “No!”

He gave her a few seconds to process before asking his next question. “What about living arrangements?”

Her mouth opened and closed, and she stilled. “Wow, I really didn’t think this through.” Her eyes darted around the room as if she hadn’t been there a thousand times. “If we want everyone to think this is real, we have to live together, don’t we?”

Had she not considered that part? He sure as hell had. The idea of her being around all the time was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. They hung out enough that he was used to daytime Mia, going-out Mia, and lazy, let’s-stay-in-tonight Mia. It was the thought of first-thing-in-the-morning Mia that had made his heart lurch. It was the only side of her he didn’t know. The side reserved for roommates and lovers.

What was she like in those quiet, intimate moments just after she woke up, before makeup touched her skin or a stray thought made her anxious? Did she listen to music while she got ready or turn on the TV when she made coffee? Or did she, like him, enjoy starting her day in silence?

Would that version of her become his favorite?

He swallowed. “We probably should.”

She nodded, though she seemed a little dazed. “You have a house, so it would make sense that I’d move in here.” Suddenly she frowned. “But what’s Claire going to do? Our condo is too expensive for just two people. And Reagan just moved in. I’m not even sure Claire likes her yet.” She buried her face in her hands and groaned. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

Noah squeezed her shoulder. “We don’t have to,” he said. “This is a choice, and you can back out anytime until we sign the papers. But don’t let things like living arrangements stop you. We’ll figure all that out. It won’t cost you anything to live here, and we could keep paying your share of rent at the condo until Claire finds another roommate. Hell, Graham might want to move in with them. He’s been complaining about his place and talking about looking for something else.”

She shifted and peeked up at him, a small grin on her face. “Claire, Graham, and the vegetarian living together? I’d love to see that.”

He slid his palm down her back, enjoying the soft brush of her ponytail along the back of his hand, before pulling it back into his lap.

“How am I ever going to repay you for doing this for me?” she asked.

“You probably can’t,” he said, smiling a little. At her dejected expression, he changed tactics. “Don’t do that. I don’t want anything.”

“Too bad. The guilt will be unbearable.” She squinted, tilting her face to the ceiling. “I’ll make you homemade breakfast every morning. And I’ll make carrot cake every weekend.”

His mouth watered at the mention of his favorite dessert. “Wow, I’m gonna gain like fifty pounds, aren’t I?” It would totally be worth it.

“I’d say I have ulterior motives to stop other women from checking you out, but it wouldn’t matter. They’d want you no matter your size.”

He grinned at that, flattered and far too pleased at the thought of Mia feeling possessive of him. Her face simultaneously transformed to a frown.

“What?” he asked.

“What about—” She stopped short, her cheeks flushing. Her eyes flashed to his waist and quickly away.

Oh, shit.

He wanted to tell her not to say another word, but his tongue was suddenly glued to the roof of his mouth. Could they just ignore this part? Not talk about it, like normal adults?

“I, um. I don’t want to hinder your sex life…” she started, pressing her balled fists together near her stomach. “But I’m not sure how that could work. I mean, it’s probably not a good idea to bring anyone back here, but going elsewhere would just require discretion, you know? It could look bad if—”

This was so fucking uncomfortable. “Don’t worry about that,” he interrupted.

She nodded, neck flushed. “Yeah, you get it. Sorry.”

“No, I meant don’t worry as in it won’t be an issue. I’m not going to sleep with someone else while I’m married to you.”

“It could be two years, though.”

He just stared at her.

“Noah—”

He held up a hand. “Stop. Don’t bring that up again, okay?” She opened her mouth, but he added, “I mean it.”

She clamped her mouth shut, apparently registering his tone.

Unless… Why had he assumed that issue referred only to him? “What about you?” The words burned as they came up his throat. He tried to think as little as possible about Mia being anywhere close to naked with another man, but he had no claim on her. Even in a marriage like this one.

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t. I mean, I won’t. I know this isn’t real, but it wouldn’t feel right. For me.”

He could remind her, as she had for him, how long a time frame they were talking about. But he liked her answer too much, and besides, she knew.

They both did.

Two years would be a long damn time. But if his choices were meaningless sex with a stranger while the woman he loved was waiting at home, or nothing?

Nothing it would be.