SWNOVELS Worth the Fall: Chapter 2
From the moment my eyes crack open, I know this morning is going to be a challenge. Felicity’s princess dress, complete with enough glitter to supply a craft store, is already laid out on her tiny dresser. I spot it the second I peek into her room, where she’s sitting up in bed with her wild curls sticking in every direction, waiting for me with a smile that could melt glaciers.
‘Daddy! It’s princess day!’ She bounces on her bed, her brown eyes sparkling with the kind of enthusiasm only a five-year-old can muster at six thirty in the morning.
I run a hand through my hair, feeling the exhaustion from last night’s late contract review weighing on me. ‘Princess, remember we talked about saving dress-up for after school?’
‘But Daddyyyyy.’ Her lip pooches out. ‘Ms. Jenny said we could wear costumes!’ She crosses her tiny arms, bottom lip already trembling. I’m about to stand my ground when I remember the email from yesterday—she’s right. It is ‘Fantasy Friday’ at preschool.
‘How about we save the tiara for after finger painting?’ I try to negotiate, already knowing I’m fighting a losing battle. ‘We don’t want to get paint on the crown jewels.’
Felicity’s face scrunches up in thought, considering this diplomatic proposal with all the gravity of a financial merger. ‘The tiara stays in my cubby until art is over?’
‘Deal.’ I hold out my pinky, and we seal the agreement with the solemnity it deserves. Small victories, right?
I never expected to be a single dad. I’m not sure most people do but life had other plans—or Celine, my now ex-wife, had other plans. Plans I wasn’t aware of until I walked in on her and our twenty-two-year-old neighbor making those plans right in our bed.
My stomach sizzles in discomfort at the memory—an image I’ll never be able to erase from my mind no matter how much I try. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, reminding myself that whatever issues Celine and I had in our marriage that led to its demise didn’t involve Felicity and she doesn’t deserve to have those bitter memories taint her world.
‘Alright, baby girl,’ I say, holding out my arms toward her. ‘Let’s get you princess-a-fied!’
‘Princess day!’ she squeals at the top of her lungs before launching herself into my arms.
Now the morning whirlwind begins in earnest. I’m trying to wrangle Felicity’s curls into something resembling order while simultaneously attempting to knot my tie. There’s a reason I usually do this part before getting her ready, but last night’s late preparation for my first day at Blake Financial threw off our routine.
‘Let me do it.’ Felicity smacks my hand away from the tie with her chubby fingers, tugging down hard on the back portion to tighten the knot.
‘Whoa.’ I cough when the tie cinches around my neck. ‘A little too tight today, sweetie.’ I laugh, attempting to fix it as best I can while glancing at my watch.
Shit, running very late already.
‘Daddy, you have sparkles in your hair.’ Felicity giggles, reaching up to pat my head after running her fingers through it. I catch a glimpse of myself in her mirror and she’s not wrong. Somehow, I’ve become a walking disco ball with my once neatly combed hair now sticking up in every direction and I have a meeting with the partners in less than two hours.
The doorbell chimes just as I’m finishing the second pigtail, and Felicity’s hair is only half-done. Perfect timing, as always. ‘One minute!’ I call out, knowing full well it’s Mrs. Rodriguez from next door, right on schedule to check if we need anything. She’s appointed herself our unofficial grandmother since the divorce, and while I appreciate it, her timing is impressively terrible.
I glance down at my suit, realizing I’m half-covered in princess stickers, something Felicity must have done while I was focused on her hair. Fantastic. Nothing says ‘competent corporate counsel’ quite like tiny tiaras and unicorns decorating your lapel.
‘Daddy made the toast black again!’ Felicity announces cheerfully to Mrs. Rodriguez when I finally open the door, still picking stickers off my jacket. I’d attempted to recreate Celine’s famous French toast this morning—a misguided effort to show our daughter that Dad can make special breakfast too. The smoke alarm’s triumphant symphony and the charred remains in my sink tell a different story.
‘Mijo, you know I can make you both breakfast.’ Mrs. Rodriguez clucks, already heading toward my kitchen like she owns the place. The smell of burnt toast lingers accusingly in the air.
‘We’re actually heading to McDonald’s,’ I admit, trying not to sound as defeated as I feel. ‘Big first day at Blake Financial.’
‘In that fancy suit? With all that…’ She gestures to the remaining glitter and stickers, fighting a smile.
‘It’s a new look. Very in right now. All the top lawyers are wearing glitter this season.’ I straighten my tie with as much dignity as I can muster, which isn’t much.
‘You need a woman,’ she says matter-of-factly. Another endearing if not somewhat frustrating characteristic I’ve learned to accept about her.
‘Maybe, but right now, I need a miracle to make it out of here on time.’
‘Why does Daddy need a woman?’ It’s always the things you don’t want kids to pick up on that they notice.
‘A girlfriend,’ she says with a smile as she bends down to poke her nose.
‘Daddy has a girlfriend?’ Felicity gasps, looking up at me with her mouth hanging open.
‘No, no! There’s no girlfriend. What Daddy needs right now is for Maria to not bring that up again.’ I flash Mrs. Rodriguez a glare which just makes her laugh.
‘Go.’ She shoos us toward the door. ‘I’ll clean this mess up and lock up before I leave.’
‘Thank you.’ I grab Felicity’s bag, making sure she has everything she needs for the day.
‘Adios, mija,’ Maria says planting a kiss on Felicity’s forehead, ‘mi bella princess.’
‘Gracias, Tia,’ Felicity says, waving as I pick her up and walk toward the elevator. ‘Adios!’
We finally make it to the car, only to discover that Felicity’s shoes don’t match.
‘How did I miss this?’ I ask, looking down at one sparkly pink princess shoe and one purple light-up sneaker.
‘Daddy, what’s wrong?’
I’m about to run back inside when I catch sight of the time on my dashboard. Clearly, she doesn’t seem to mind two different shoes or doesn’t notice so it’s just going to have to be one of those days.
‘Not a thing, princess. You’re just starting a new fashion trend today.’ I buckle her into her car seat, pretending this was all part of the plan.
The McDonald’s drive-thru worker does an admirable job of answering Felicity’s fifteen questions about what it’s like to work at McDonald’s. A job that, according to her, is like the best dream job ever, because in her mind, it’s just getting paid to eat chicken nuggets and french fries all day.
By the time we make it to preschool drop-off, she has the addition of a large syrup stain on the front of her dress, which is now also all over my tie.
The morning sun streams through the towering windows of Blake Financial as I step off the elevator, still picking glitter off my suit jacket. First impressions matter, and I’m currently making one that involves princess stickers and what appears to be unicorn-themed sparkles in my hair.
But before I can attempt any last-minute dad-evidence removal, I spot her—Tarryn Wells stands at attention behind her meticulously organized desk, not a single paper out of place. The contrast between her perfectly put-together appearance and my glitter-enhanced suit is almost comical.
‘Mr. Ramirez,’ she greets me, rising smoothly. Her voice carries quiet confidence, professional yet warm. ‘I’m Tarryn Wells.’
I notice how she subtly reaches out to remove a stray princess sticker from my sleeve without drawing attention to it, her movement so efficient it could be mistaken for a simple gesture of welcome.
‘Please, call me Miguel,’ I say, trying to subtly check if there are more stickers. ‘Though maybe pretend you don’t see the…’ I gesture vaguely to my glitter-decorated state.
‘You’re never off duty as a parent.’ She smiles. ‘So, no judgment here.’
‘Thanks for understanding. I’m sure as time goes by, it’s only going to get more interesting.’
‘Well, as I’m sure Taylor has already told you, I’m here to assist you in any way I can. I’m a certified paralegal and while I was in the pool, I will be fully dedicated to you going forward and be your assistant as well. I previously worked next to Taylor for the last two years so if you ever have any questions or need clarification, just let me know; I know that woman like the back of my hand.’
‘Thank you, and I’m excited to be here. Taylor and I talked a lot about how she and Austin built this firm and frankly, it’s impressive but terrifying.’ I laugh. ‘She seems like the kind of woman who can’t be stopped.’
‘Right on the money.’ She winks. ‘So, should we start out by me giving you a rundown of the current caseload? After that we can go into how you prefer to be supported and the expectations you have for me?’
‘Sounds like a plan.’
She briefs me on our current cases as we walk down the hall toward my office, her knowledge of each file impressive and thorough. When we pass the conference room, I notice her glancing at her constitutional law textbook left on the table.
‘Excuse me one second.’ She steps inside, grabbing the book and slipping it under her arm before joining me again.
‘Law school?’ I ask, appreciating the dedication it must take to balance both. Back when I was in school, I had the luxury of being a full-time law student, picking up random shifts bartending without the pressure of an additional full-time job.
‘Evening program,’ she confirms, a flash of pride crossing her face before her professional mask returns. ‘Third year. Though, sometimes the reading has to happen between meetings.’
Before I can respond, my phone buzzes with a text from Celine about Felicity’s dance class schedule. The familiar guilt starts to creep in—that constant balance of work and single parenthood that led me to leave my old firm in the first place.
Even before the affair, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up the same pace I had for so long, not once Felicity came along. I didn’t want to spend late nights in the office away from her and her mother. I wanted to be there for every late-night feeding, every milestone and dirty diaper… but I wasn’t.
Tarryn must notice something shift in my expression because she smoothly transitions to showing me our case management system, giving me a moment to compose myself.
‘I know I threw a lot at you, but please don’t hesitate to ask me questions. I’m going to be at my desk if you need anything.’
She shuts the door to my office, leaving me alone for the first time today and instantly, my thoughts drift to Mia. To be fair, she was on my mind the second I opened my eyes this morning… and when I closed my eyes to go to sleep last night. A warmth spreads through my chest, remembering the way it felt to rest my hand against her this weekend. The electric tingle that ran through my body when she shook my hand, the same tingle I’m feeling right now.
I pull my phone from my pocket, opening our last text conversation. I hold it up and smile, taking a selfie of myself in my new office, the Chicago skyline in the windows behind me. My smile fades when I look at the photo. My hair is still sticking up every which way, my tie severely askew from where Felicity attempted to tighten it and a sticker stuck to the side of my temple.
‘Oh, hell no.’ I delete the photo from the text, deciding my attention is best focused on my appearance rather than trying to flirt with a woman who reached out to me for legal advice and not a date, that tinge of disappointment lingering when I reread Mia’s text. Apart from her cute typo, she made no reference to this being a date or having any interest in me outside of a professional capacity. And while I’m aware that my looks have never been an issue for me, I’m not naive enough to think that leads to anything meaningful… Celine proved that to me.
I slip into my private restroom, readjusting my tie and fixing my hair as best I can. I remove three more stickers, picking at the glitter that is so embedded in my suit it’s no use.
‘You’re a confident man, Miguel. You’re a good father and provider,’ I say to myself, repeating the affirmations my divorce therapist told me would be the key to moving on. ‘You deserve love.’
I let out a long breath, staring at my reflection in the mirror and practicing what I hope is an authoritative expression. ‘And you’re a badass lawyer,’ I mutter to myself, adjusting my tie for the hundredth time. ‘Stop doubting yourself, man.’
‘Am I interrupting something?’ The door slowly opens and I nearly die of embarrassment as Taylor leans against the doorframe, catching me mid-practice. ‘I’m sorry to interrupt. I knocked on your office door but you didn’t respond, then I heard you talking in here.’ She smiles.
‘I’m sorry, I was—distracted.’ I gesture to my suit.
‘Everything going smooth so far? Tarryn is basically a fairy around here so I’m sure she will make sure you are set up for success.’
‘Yes, she’s been great.’
‘Perfect. Ready for the morning staff meeting? Though, maybe we should…’ She gestures to my tie, where a tiny unicorn sticker still clings stubbornly.
‘I’ve got it,’ Tarryn says quietly, appearing out of nowhere and efficiently removing the evidence of my chaotic morning while simultaneously handing me the files I’ll need.
The rest of the morning passes in a blur of introductions and orientations. Every time I turn around, Tarryn seems to be one step ahead—anticipating questions, smoothing potential wrinkles.
By lunch, I’ve mostly forgotten about my sparkly state until I catch my reflection in the conference room window. The morning sunlight hits the remaining glitter just right, creating what can only be described as a disco-ball effect across the legal documents I’m reviewing.
‘Tea?’ Tarryn appears with a cup, setting it quietly on my desk. ‘My mom always says chamomile helps with big transitions.’
Before I can thank her, my phone chimes with a FaceTime call from Felicity’s preschool. ‘I need to take this,’ I say apologetically. ‘FaceTime means emergency.’
Tarryn just nods, already moving to reschedule my next meeting without being asked. It’s the kind of intuitive support that was seriously missing at my old firm.
‘Daddy!’ Felicity’s face fills my screen. ‘I kept the tiara in my cubby during art just like I promised!’
‘That’s great, princess!’ I can feel my professional facade melting away as she proudly shows me her paint-covered hands.
‘And guess what?’ she continues excitedly. ‘Ms. Jenny says I can wear it now! Do you still have your stickers?’
I turn so she can see my tie, where one last sparkly embellishment remains. ‘Right where you left them.’
Her delighted giggle echoes through the phone. ‘You look pretty, Daddy!’
As I head back to my office, I catch Tarryn hiding a smile behind her textbook. ‘Successful tiara negotiations?’ she asks.
‘Very diplomatic solution,’ I agree. ‘Although, I’m pretty sure I’ll die covered in glitter at this point.’
‘It adds character,’ she says, ‘though, perhaps we should add an additional thirty minutes into your morning debrief so that you can develop a protocol for de-glittering and de-stickering.’
The rest of the afternoon passes in a whirlwind of meetings and document reviews. By the time I pack up to pick up Felicity, I’ve managed to own my sparkly situation. The Morgan acquisition is moving forward; I’ve scheduled three client meetings for next week, and I’ve only checked my phone about fifteen times to see if Mia had texted.
She didn’t.
An image of her in that tight purple workout outfit takes over my thoughts. All the blood that spent the day pumping through me has suddenly rushed to one particular area. I reach my hand beneath the steering wheel to adjust myself, pissed I can’t seem to control my thoughts these days. Then again, I don’t mind the thoughts, even if I feel a slight sense of guilt.
The leather of the steering wheel creaks beneath my grip, the sexual frustration that’s been building in my balls for the last—fuck, however long it’s been since I’ve gotten laid, growing even thicker.
‘Oh God, how long has it been?’ I think back to the last time Celine and I had sex before I caught her with Todd. My grip tightens on the wheel so hard pain starts to radiate up my forearms. Considering our divorce has been finalized for over a year now…
‘Fuck me,’ I groan in embarrassment at the realization. ‘No wonder I’m wound so damn tight—’
The person behind me lays on the horn, alerting me that I’m still stopped at a now green light. I hit the gas but it’s not quick enough for the man who swerves around me, flipping me the bird and mouthing a few choice profanities my way.
‘Relax, man,’ I shout back as if he can hear me. ‘I just realized I haven’t had sex in over a goddamn year!’
Saying it out loud only makes it worse. Now I’m just a pathetic horny single guy. My excitement deflates and I turn my attention back to princess pickup, reminding myself that my only focus right now is being a good dad for Felicity, even if Maria and Becca and Taylor and probably Tarryn all can see that I’m about a second away from drowning.