Worth the Fall: Chapter 12
Austin and I are tucked into the corner booth of our usual burger joint, a place that hasn’t changed since our college days. The menus are still sticky; the fries come in grease-stained baskets, and the soda machine always seems just a little off. It’s comforting, in a way. Familiar.
‘So,’ Austin starts, leaning back in his chair and pointing a fry at me like it’s a weapon. ‘You’re really in it, huh?’
I smirk, swirling the ice in my soda. ‘In what?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t play dumb. Mia. I can see it all over your face.’
I try to keep my grin in check, but it’s no use. ‘Yeah,’ I admit, leaning back in my seat. ‘She’s amazing, man. Smart, funny, and don’t even get me started on how she is with Felicity. Like, who just clicks with a five-year-old like that?’
Austin raises a brow, his smirk tilting into something softer. ‘It’s not hard to see why you’re into her. Mia’s great.’
‘She’s more than great.’ The words tumble out before I can stop them, and Austin gives me a look. I press on anyway. ‘It’s like… I don’t know. Everything just feels easy with her. She doesn’t try to be someone she’s not, and she doesn’t expect me to be perfect either. But she also doesn’t take any shit, you know? She’s fire.’
Austin chuckles, shaking his head as he dips a fry into ketchup. ‘Look at you. Miguel Ramirez, certified hard-ass, turned into a puddle by a woman who could probably out-argue you in court.’
‘Don’t I know it.’ I laugh, but the weight behind my words is real. She’s more than I expected, and somehow, she makes me want to be more too.
Austin leans forward, wiping his hands on a napkin. ‘I’ll say this: Mia’s been through a lot. So, seeing her this happy? It’s a good look on her. And on you.’
I nod, feeling the warmth of his words.
But then he adds, ‘I mean, after Cameron, I wasn’t sure she’d get there, you know?’
That name hits like a stone dropping into water, sending ripples through the easy rhythm of the conversation. My hand tightens around my soda cup, but I keep my tone casual. ‘Yeah, I know about him. High school sweethearts, twelve years together, the whole thing.’
Austin nods, popping another fry into his mouth. ‘Exactly. She was pretty wrecked after he pulled the ‘I need space card. I mean, who does that after over a decade together?’
I force a laugh, but my chest tightens at the thought of the guy who held her heart for so long. ‘Yeah, sounds like a real winner.’
‘He wasn’t,’ Austin says bluntly. ‘And honestly? I wasn’t sure she’d let herself move on. But she has, man. With you. If she wasn’t all in, she wouldn’t be with you.’
The words are meant to reassure me, but they land heavier than they should. I think about the moments when Mia’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes, the occasional faraway look when she thinks no one’s watching. I shake off the thought, forcing myself back into the moment.
‘Yeah,’ I say, offering Austin a smile. ‘I know.’
But the truth lingers in the back of my mind, quiet and insistent: Do I know?
Austin studies me for a moment, then leans back in his chair. ‘You like her, huh?’
I glance at him, my brow furrowing. ‘What kind of question is that? Of course I like her.’
‘No, I mean you really like her. Like, you’re already planning how to make this thing work long-term, aren’t you?’
I don’t respond right away, but I can feel the truth settling in my chest. ‘Yeah,’ I finally admit. ‘I am. I’m in love with her.’
Austin nods, his grin widening. ‘Good. Because I think she’s doing the same thing. Don’t overthink it, man. She’s with you because she wants to be, not because she’s trying to get over someone else.’
I let his words sink in, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m overthinking things. Mia and I are good together—I know that.
‘So,’ Austin says, smirking again as he reaches for his burger. ‘How long before you put a ring on it?’
I laugh, shaking my head. ‘One step at a time, man. Let’s survive dinner with Felicity first.’
He chuckles, raising his burger in a mock toast. ‘Fair enough. But I’m calling it now—it’s only a matter of time.’
As we dive back into our meal, the conversation shifts to lighter topics—work, sports, and our next golf meeting. But in the back of my mind, Mia lingers, her laughter, her warmth, and the way she fits so perfectly into my life with Felicity.
And despite Austin’s reassurances, I can’t help but hope she really is over him.
Back in my office, I sit at my desk, the stack of paperwork in front of me untouched. I’m staring at the screen of my laptop, but the words on the report I’m supposed to be reviewing might as well be in another language. My conversation with Austin keeps replaying in my head, and no matter how much I tell myself to let it go, it sticks.
I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face, trying to shake off the unease. This isn’t me. I’m not the guy who second-guesses everything. But with Mia, it feels different—bigger, more important.
A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts.
‘Afternoon caffeine dose?’ Tarryn pokes her head in, her usual bright smile firmly in place.
I chuckle, leaning back in my chair. ‘That obvious, huh?’
‘You’ve been staring at that screen like it owes you money,’ she says, stepping into the office with a cup of coffee in hand.
‘Wait,’ I say, eyeing the cup. ‘It’s already ready to go?’
She grins. ‘I know how parents of young kids struggle. I’m the oldest of four—I basically helped raise my siblings. Coffee was a survival tool by the time I was ten.’
I laugh, shaking my head as I take the cup from her. ‘Thanks, Tarryn. You’re a lifesaver.’
‘Anytime,’ she says, giving me a mock salute before exiting my office and disappearing back down the hall.
I take a sip, the warmth and caffeine jolting me slightly back to life. Setting the cup down, I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts until I land on Celine’s name.
If Mia’s going to spend time with Felicity—and I know she will—it’s time for Celine to meet her.
The phone rings twice before she picks up.
‘This is Celine,’ she says, her voice sharp and to the point, like always.
‘Hey, it’s me,’ I say.
‘Is everything alright with Felicity?’ she asks immediately, concern creeping into her tone.
‘Everything’s fine,’ I assure her. ‘Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Go on,’ she says, though I can tell she’s already suspicious.
‘I think it’s time for you to meet Mia,’ I say, keeping my tone casual.
There’s a pause, followed by a sharp exhale. ‘Meet her?’
‘Yeah,’ I say, leaning back in my chair. ‘You know, officially. She’s been spending time with Felicity, and things are getting serious between us. I think it’s the right thing to do.’
‘It’s that serious?’ she asks, her tone carrying a mix of surprise and curiosity.
‘It is,’ I say simply.
There’s another pause, then she sighs. ‘Well, if she’s going to be around Felicity, then yes, I think we should meet. Make a dinner reservation for us—Morton’s, tonight.’
I raise a brow, chuckling under my breath. ‘Morton’s, huh? You don’t waste time.’
‘Why would I?’ she replies smoothly. ‘Text me the details once it’s set. I’ll see you tonight.’
Before I can say anything else, she hangs up.
I sit there for a moment, staring at my phone before shaking my head with a laugh. She hasn’t changed a bit—still as bossy as ever, though somehow less irritating now that I’m not married to her.
Picking up the phone again, I call Morton’s and make the reservation. The hostess confirms the time, and I jot it down before hanging up.
Then I text Mia.
Me
Hey, Celine agreed to meet you. Dinner tonight at Morton’s. I’ll pick you up.
Mia
Oh—okay, I’ll meet you there. Late work night!
Setting the phone aside, I take another sip of coffee, finally feeling focused enough to dive back into the mountain of work on my desk.
The dimly lit ambiance of Morton’s feels suffocating tonight. Normally, the low hum of conversation, clinking glasses, and soft piano music would put me at ease. But tonight, I can’t sit still. My leg bounces under the table, and I’ve already excused myself three times—once to use the restroom, once to call Mia, and now, to ask the host if he’s seen her.
‘She’s not here yet,’ the host says politely, glancing at his list. ‘I can keep an eye out for her, though.’
I force a smile and nod. ‘Thanks. She’s probably just running late.’
As I make my way back to the table, I glance at my phone again. Still no messages, no calls. I dial her number again, but it goes straight to voicemail.
‘Hey, it’s me. Just checking in. Let me know if you’re okay.’ I pause, trying to keep the worry out of my voice. ‘We’re here at Morton’s. Hope to see you soon.’
I hang up, slide my phone back into my pocket, and take a deep breath before rejoining Celine.
She’s sitting primly at the table, a half-empty glass of wine in her hand. Her manicured fingers tap lightly on the stem as she watches me sit down. ‘Still no sign of her?’
‘Not yet,’ I say, trying to keep my tone even.
Celine raises an eyebrow, her lips curving into a small, knowing smile. ‘Miguel, she’s not coming.’
I bristle at her words, shaking my head. ‘She’s just running late.’
‘She didn’t call or text, and it’s been twenty minutes,’ she points out, her voice sharp but calm. ‘Even if her phone died, she could’ve found another way to let you know.’
‘There has to be a reason,’ I insist, though the knot in my stomach tightens.
Celine takes another sip of her wine, her gaze steady. ‘I’m not waiting any longer. Enjoy the rest of your evening.’
She grabs her clutch and stands, leaving a few bills on the table before walking out without a second glance.
I sit there for a moment, staring blankly at the empty chair across from me. The noise of the restaurant feels distant, like I’m underwater, and my thoughts are spinning too fast to make sense of them.
Mia wouldn’t just blow me off. That’s not her.
I glance at my phone again. No missed calls. No messages.
Pushing back my chair, I stand and head for the exit, my heart pounding.
The first place I go is Mia’s office, hoping maybe she got caught up in work. But when I arrive, the lights are off, and the receptionist is long gone. The building is locked, dark, and silent.
My worry intensifies as I drive to her apartment. When I reach the building, I buzz her unit over and over, my finger jabbing the button with increasing urgency.
No answer.
I try Hector and Becca’s buzzers next, but neither of them responds.
I’m starting to feel desperate. I pace in front of the entrance, my thoughts racing. Is she okay? Did something happen?
Finally, someone exits the building, and I seize the opportunity to slip inside before the door closes. I take the stairs two at a time, not trusting the old elevator to move fast enough.
When I reach Mia’s door, I bang on it with my fist, the sound echoing down the hallway.
‘Mia!’ I call, my voice rough with worry. ‘Mia, are you in there? Please, open the door!’
I press my ear to the wood, listening for any sign of movement, but the apartment is eerily silent.
‘Mia,’ I say again, softer this time, my fist still resting against the door. ‘If you’re in there, please just let me know you’re okay.’
I wait, but there’s nothing.
My mind races with possibilities—maybe she left her phone at work; maybe she got stuck in traffic; maybe…
I shake my head, refusing to let my thoughts go any darker. I grab my phone and try calling her again. Voicemail.
Sliding down to sit on the floor outside her door, I press my head against the wall and exhale shakily.
Where are you, Mia?
The door creaks open, and I jump to my feet so fast my vision blurs.
‘Mia?’ I say, my heart pounding as the door slowly swings inward.
She stands in the doorway, barefoot and in her pajamas, her face blotchy and swollen from crying. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and her shoulders slump as though the weight of the world is pressing down on her.
Relief floods me for half a second—she’s okay. She’s here. But the relief is immediately replaced by a sinking feeling in my gut as I take in the way she looks at me
‘Mia,’ I say softly, stepping closer. ‘What’s wrong? What happened?’
I reach out to pull her into my arms, desperate to comfort her, but she steps back, shaking her head.
‘No,’ she whispers, her voice broken.
My stomach tightens. ‘No?’
Her chest heaves with a shaky breath, and when she finally speaks, her words come out in uneven sobs. ‘I… I can’t do it.’
I freeze, the room spinning around me. ‘Can’t do what?’
She wraps her arms around her middle as if trying to hold herself together. ‘Any of it. All of it. You. Felicity. Us.’
The words hit me like a freight train. My chest tightens, my breath catching in my throat. I feel dizzy, like the floor is tilting under me.
‘What?’ I manage to choke out, the word barely audible.
She closes her eyes, tears streaming down her face as her sobs grow heavier. ‘I’m sorry. I thought I could, but I can’t. It’s too much. I can’t be what you need me to be.’
I stare at her, my mind racing but unable to catch up. This doesn’t make sense. This can’t be happening.
‘Mia,’ I say, my voice trembling. ‘I don’t… I don’t understand. What are you saying?’
She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, she looks away, her fingers gripping the edge of the door like it’s the only thing keeping her standing.
‘I’m not ready for this,’ she whispers, her voice so soft I almost don’t hear her. ‘I’m not ready for you, for Felicity, for… all of it.’
Her words unravel something inside me, leaving behind a hollow ache that feels too big to contain.
‘Mia,’ I try again, my voice breaking. ‘Please, just… just explain. Talk to me.’
She shakes her head, her tears falling faster. ‘I can’t.’
I take a step closer, but she retreats again, her back pressing against the door.
‘You don’t have to be perfect,’ I say, my voice rising in desperation. ‘I’m not asking you to be anything but yourself.’
‘You don’t get it,’ she says, her voice sharp with frustration and pain. ‘I feel like I’m drowning, Miguel. Every time I think I have it figured out, something else pulls me under. I can’t keep up with you, with Felicity, with work—any of it. And I hate that I feel this way, but I do.’
Her words pierce through me, and for a moment, I can’t speak. I can’t think. All I can do is stand there, watching the person I thought was becoming my forever slip further and further away.
‘I love you,’ I whisper finally, the words tumbling out in a last-ditch effort to hold on to what we’ve built. ‘I love you, Mia. And I know this is hard, but we can figure it out. Together.’
She squeezes her eyes shut, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. ‘I love you, too,’ she says, her voice breaking. ‘But it’s not enough. Not right now.’
My chest constricts, the air in the room feeling thin and suffocating. ‘Mia, please—’
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers, stepping back into the apartment. ‘I can’t do this.’
The door closes softly, but the sound reverberates through me like a gunshot. I stand there, staring at the wood grain, my hand half-raised as if I could somehow will it to open again.
But it doesn’t.
And for the second time in less than two years, I feel completely and utterly lost.
The drive home feels like a blur. The city lights pass by in streaks, but I barely notice them. My chest is heavy, my mind replaying every second of what just happened with Mia.
Her words echo over and over, each one cutting deeper than the last. I can’t do it. I’m not ready. I love you, but it’s not enough.
When I step into my apartment, the quiet feels oppressive. Felicity isn’t here tonight—she’s at her mom’s, likely curled up in bed with one of her stuffed animals. I wish she were here. Her laughter, her energy, even her tiny voice calling for me from her room would make this place feel less empty.
I kick off my shoes and head toward Felicity’s room. It’s not much—a small twin bed with pink sheets and a collection of her favorite plushies stacked neatly at the foot. But it’s hers, and being here makes me feel closer to her.
I sit down on her bed, leaning back against the wall. Her familiar scent—like baby shampoo and crayons—lingers in the air. It’s comforting in a way I didn’t expect.
Grabbing my phone, I pull up her contact and hit the button for FaceTime on her iPad. I know it’s late, and she’s probably asleep, but I just… I need to see her.
After a few rings, the screen lights up, and Felicity’s sleepy face appears. Her curls are flattened on one side, her unicorn pajama top wrinkled.
‘Daddy?’ she mumbles, her voice soft and groggy.
‘Hey, princess,’ I say, forcing a smile. ‘I’m sorry for waking you up. I just… I wanted to see your face.’
Her eyes blink slowly as she props herself up on her elbows. ‘Why, Daddy?’
‘Because you always make me smile,’ I say honestly, my throat tightening.
She yawns, her little hand rubbing her eyes. ‘You look sad. Are you okay, Daddy?’
I swallow hard, forcing my voice to stay steady. ‘Yeah, baby. I’m okay. I just miss you, that’s all.’
Her brow furrows, and she tilts her head. ‘Are you sure?’
I nod, though the lump in my throat makes it hard to speak. ‘I’m sure. I just needed to see you.’
Her face softens into a sleepy smile, and she snuggles back into her pillow, her unicorn plushie clutched tightly in her arms. ‘Miss Mia would make you smile, too.’
My chest tightens painfully at the mention of her.
‘She told me she loves you, Daddy,’ Felicity says, her voice drifting into the haze of sleep again. ‘Tell her good night from me and Mr. Unicorn.’
‘I will,’ I whisper, my voice cracking.
”Kay,’ she mumbles, her eyes closing. ‘Good night, Daddy. Love you.’
‘I love you, too,’ I say, watching her drift off again.
I end the call, staring at the blank screen for a long moment before setting the phone down on the bed beside me.
Hanging my head in my hands, I exhale shakily, the weight of the night pressing down on me. I thought I was building something real, something solid. But now…
I sit there in the silence of Felicity’s room, her soft scent still wrapping around me, and I let the tears I’ve been holding back fall.