Wildling

~~~ Jaxson’s POV~~~

She had only been asleep for a few hours. I had begun to feel discomfort in my abdomen, and I wasn’t sure what it was until she started to whimper and squirm in her sleep.

Fuck she’s having another nightmare.

I had to withhold a scream of pain as my thigh began burning. It felt like I was being sliced into. Repeatedly. The pain in my abdomen never going away. Right before she bolted upright, I felt a soul shattering emptiness. All my breath left my body and I felt like I was drowning. It was the worst feeling in the world. What had happened to make her feel that way? I think the only way I could ever feel that way was if Ember died.

My stomach revolted at the thought. God what would I do if I ever lost her? I don’t even have her yet and I can barely stand the thought of losing her.

I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her into my embrace. I whispered comforting words in her ear as she trembled in my arms, her breathing gradually slowing down.

“You’re okay Ember. I have you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I nuzzled my face into the crook of her shoulder, breathing in her heavenly scent. I gently placed my lips onto her skin, kissing and caressing where I would lay my mark. I felt her breathing hitch as she shivered. I smirked internally at the effect I had on her. She may be against us being together because of her past trauma but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the effect of the mate bond.

“Go back to sleep baby. You need the rest. You’ve only been sleeping a few hours.” I gently turned her so that her head was laying on my chest as I watched her eyes begin to droop. I rubbed her back in small circles until she fell back asleep.

I fell asleep soon after and dreamed of a future with my little spitfire. I’m excited for Sean and Ash to meet her. I’m hoping Ash, who had been in a similar situation of torture could help her come to terms with her past and that she didn’t need to be afraid of the future.

I awoke at dawn, carefully slipping out from under Ember and went outside to relieve myself. I brought Accalia with me outside so she could stretch her legs. I shifted and after Accalia got aquatinted with us, we ran into the woods to hunt.

After catching and eating a few rabbits we made our way back to the cabin. Ember was still asleep. I’m thankful for that. The past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for her, and she was drained.

I did some cleaning around the house and brought in water from the stream. I brought some meat and vegetables out to cook for Ember once she was awake. For now, I’d let her rest.

Throughout the day, my mind kept drifting to Ember. I couldn’t understand how someone could hurt such a sweet person. She didn’t deserve the life she had. She didn’t deserve to lose her wolf. I have heard stories of werewolves who lost their wolf although it’s not very common. Many of them go crazy or end up ending their life because they can’t cope. The strength it must take to live day to day is admirable. Ember is so strong and brave, but she refuses to see it.

What would happen if you ever lost me? Ares question filtered through my head. It made me seriously think. What would I do? How would I be able to cope losing what makes me, me.

I thrived on pack life. I loved training the warriors, helping with pack business and helping Sean keep our pack strong. Would I be able to do that without a wolf? Doubtful. I don’t think I could go through life without my best friend. And being able to shift into an animal?! Run on four paws through the woods. Taking down animals with me own teeth and claws. How could I ever give that up? I would never be able to live without my wolf.

But Ember is. She is proof that it can be done.

She may be great at keeping an emotional mask in place, but those brief emotions that filter through her eyes tell me all I need to know. She’s miserable. She’s not really living. She can wake up, train, go about her daily chores, but that’s all she has. She has no friends or family to laugh with. She doesn’t travel or go on adventures. She does not have a job. She doesn’t have a sense of belonging.

She craves for it. She wishes and hopes for it. But she’s deathly afraid of taking it for herself when the opportunity arises.

I’m here. Her mate. I can give her all of that, but I can’t if she won’t let me. All I want is to make her happy and to live the rest of our lives together. It breaks her heart not to be able to have children, but I’m willing to adopt or even not have kids at all if that’s what she chooses. I don’t know the story behind what happened but I’m hoping one day she opens up enough to tell me.

Then I will hunt that fucker down and enjoy watching him bleed. I will stand over his body, yank his heart from his chest, and watch the life drain from his eyes. Ember will never have to be afraid again.

I want to play too. I chuckle at Ares and his idea of playing.

We will have plenty of time to enjoy ourselves. We can take turns. I smirk at the thought of everything I can do to break this mystery man. There is a reason Sean chooses me for interrogation purposes when we deal with rabid rouges. I’m very, inventive. I’m sure I can come up with plenty of new torture ways that this man has never even thought of. He hurt my mate. And he will pay dearly when I get my claws on him.

It was getting close to dusk and Ember still hadn’t arisen. She must have been more tired than I thought.

I briefly turned on my phone and saw that I had received a text from Sean. They should be here sometime tomorrow morning and said he should have no problems in finding the cabin.

I turned my cell back off just as Ember started stirring. She should be waking any minute. I started to cook her dinner. She must be starving. She slept a good 18 hours at least.

I had just finished plating her meal when she sat up in bed with a groan. I glanced at her, smiling softly. Her bedhead is adorable.

She slowly got up and mumbled something about refreshing herself as she slipped out the front door.

She came back a few minutes later, her hair tamed, and clothes straightened. She glanced down at the food on the table, a slight smile playing on her lips.

“Thank you, Jax. I’ve never had someone cook for me before.” She glanced at me, looking slightly embarrassed while my heart does a happy dance at earning a nickname.

“Well get used to it sweetheart. I would cook every day for you if you ask. I told you I’m not going anywhere.”

The rest of the evening was spent in small chit chat. We got to know a little bit more about each other. Every time she would try and apologize for her break down, I would cut her off. She has nothing to be sorry for and I honestly didn’t mind being able to take care of her. It made me feel a little less useless. We steered clear of the whole accepting each other as mates’ part. She knows I’m not leaving, and I know she’s still fighting herself. Her mind is afraid, but her heart wants us. She needs more time and that’s fine.

After she took a quick, brisk bath in the stream and I redressed her wound, we climbed back into bed. Tomorrow would be an interesting day. I was so comfortable with having her in my arms, I slipped into a deep sleep before being able to mention we would have company.

Oops.

A/N

So she will meet Sean and Ash soon! Any predictions? Also, I can never remember how to use affect vs effect someone help me out please! 😂