Chapter 23
I can’t sleep.
I want to sleep, and I absolutely should be out cold by now because it’s after midnight and I’ve been working myself ragged, but I just can’t drift off. There’s nothing wrong. The house is peaceful, and I’m tired, but I miss Ryan.
That’s what it boils down to. I simply miss him.
And that’s stupid because he’s less than ten miles away.
So, I peel back the covers on the bed and walk across the hall to the closet where I pull on some cute burnt orange cropped sweats that I recently indulged in, along with a matching sweatshirt. I pull my hair up into a high ponytail and slip my feet into some white sneakers, then I grab my purse and keys and pull out of my garage.
On the way down the street, I see the tiny red Mercedes sports car I saw earlier parked about two blocks away and smile.
They must have found where they needed to be.
It’s a gorgeous night, the sky full of stars, as I drive out of Bitterroot Valley to Ryan’s ranch. I don’t even pass by any other cars, it’s so quiet in town tonight. Of course, I avoid downtown. The bars would be hopping.
Unless I’m with my girlfriends, I’ve never really been much of a bar hopper.
The gate to Ryan’s place glides open as I approach, and I drive through, down the windy driveway, to his beautiful, big house. There are several vehicles parked out front, and I grin at the thought of all those teenage boys inside, enjoying themselves with Jake.
This house should be the hub for the teenager and his friends. It’s perfect for it, with the movie room, the game room, and all the free space for them to hang out.
I do notice that Mac and Brady’s vehicles are not here, so Ryan is inside without another adult, and that makes me happy. I can’t wait to see him.
I don’t bother to lock my car and walk up the stairs to the door, surprised that it’s not locked, but then remember that Ryan probably wants the kids to be able to come and go freely. I walk through and don’t find him in the kitchen or on the back patio. He’s not in his suite of rooms, and then it hits me: He’s up on the roof.
With a grin, I climb the stairs and open the door, and when I poke my head out, I see Ryan standing by the telescope, his glasses on and holding his iPad.
“I don’t want to startle you,” I say softly.
He doesn’t jump, but he turns his head to look at me, and a slow smile spreads over his face as he sets his iPad aside, pulls his glasses off, and walks over to me.
“Well, this is a good surprise.” He pulls me against him and wraps his arms around me. “Are you okay?”
I love that he’s always checking in with me, making sure that I’m fine.
“I’m fine, I couldn’t sleep, and I wanted you. Just to be with you. I guess I’m needy.”
He chuckles and kisses the top of my head before tipping my chin up so he can slant his lips over mine and kiss me soft and slow, making my toes curl in my white sneakers.
He smiles down at me when he pulls back, and I glance over at the telescope. “What are you looking at tonight?”
“Well, if my calculations are right, in about twenty minutes, I’ll be looking at the northern lights.”
I feel my eyebrows climb. “You’re kidding. Really?”
“You’re just in time,” he confirms and gestures for me to sit on the super comfy couch. He picks up the iPad again before sitting next to me, taps the screen, and I hear the door lock.
“You can lock the door on your iPad?”
“Handy, isn’t it?” He leans forward to set it on the coffee table, then pulls me into his arms and kisses me again. “I’ve fucking missed you this week. It was torture. I’m usually a patient man, but I hated that you didn’t reply to me and that I couldn’t see you.”
“I’m sorry. I hated it, too, especially because I’d grown so used to being with you all the time, but the week flew by, and before I knew it, six days without you had passed, and, well…if you hadn’t come to the shop, I would have found you. I missed you every minute.” His hand drifts up under the hem of my sweatshirt, and when he discovers that I’m not wearing a bra, he groans. “I didn’t really do that on purpose. I just threw some clothes on so I could come over here.”
“I’m glad you did. If I didn’t have a gaggle of kids here, I would have come to you. It was great having you next to me at the game, but torture at the same time because I haven’t touched you in a week, and I wanted you to myself.”
I grin as I toe off my shoes and tug his T-shirt up his torso. He obliges me, pulling it over his head, and I run my fingertips over his smooth, warm skin.
“I love your body,” I whisper as I gently caress him. “So strong, so confident. Even though you’re so much bigger than me, we seem to fit together well.”
“Like you were made for me,” he says, watching me with happy hazel eyes as he lets my hand roam over him patiently. “You’re so damn beautiful, babe.”
I love that he thinks so.
He undresses me so slowly, so patiently, I can’t help but wonder what in the hell he’s waiting for because it’s been a week, and I can’t wait to strip this man down and get him inside of me.
But when I hurry, he just kisses me and slows me down again.
“You’re killing me,” I whisper against his lips.
“I’m savoring you,” he whispers in return. “Every inch of you. You’re such a gift, Polly.”
God, he can make my heart stutter with just a couple of words. With just a look, a simple touch.
When I’m naked and laid out before him on the cushions of the couch, the night sky bright above us, Ryan kisses down my neck, between my breasts, over my belly, and then spreads my legs wide so he can kiss me in the most intimate of places.
I arch my back, push my fingers into his hair, and revel in the cool air as it swirls over my bare skin while Ryan does delicious things to me.
“Open your eyes,” he says. “And look up.”
I do as he says and gasp.
Above us, the sky is alive, dancing with greens and reds, as if moving with the beat of my heart.
I glance down at him, and Ryan smiles at me and then licks me, and I can’t help but watch the sky as he takes me up over that glorious peak of release.
Finally, he pushes out of his jeans, and I reach down to grasp onto him as he covers me. He pushes inside of me, and we both sigh in relief, in absolute pleasure, and he fists his hand in my hair as he kisses me again.
“So beautiful,” he says against my lips as he starts to move. “So fucking mine.”
Yes. I’m his. Every bit of me, everything I am, is his. I feel so connected to him in every way; there’s no way that I could ever be for anyone else.
It’s only Ryan Wild.
“Let me straddle you. I want you to see, too.”
He moves swiftly, never pulling out of me, as he sits on the couch, and, with my knees planted on either side of his hips, I set the pace now, rocking and moving on him. He tips his head back on the cushion and glances up, and that magnificent mouth smiles.
“Jesus, this is incredible.” He looks at me with so much love in those hazel eyes, it almost drowns me. “Go over, babe. Come on.”
“Together.” I tip my forehead to his, tightening around him, and his fingertips dig into the globes of my ass deliciously. “With me.”
And we do. The climax rocks through us with heat and a power I’ve never experienced before.
As I catch my breath, with Ryan still seated inside of me, I can’t resist looking up again at the dancing lights, sighing in happiness.
“Ryan,” I whisper, in awe of this whole night. “It’s amazing.”
“I love you.”
My gaze whips down to his in surprise, and he drags his fingertips down my jawline.
“You do?”
“More than anything.” He looks so…calm about it, and he cups my cheek and pulls me to him so he can kiss the hell out of me.
“God, I love you, too,” I whisper when I come up for air. “For a million reasons. The fact that you love the sky so much is only one of them.”
He lifts me off of him and then grabs his T-shirt to wipe us off, and once I’m back in my clothes and he’s in his jeans, we cuddle up to watch the show above us. Ryan’s fingers are in my hair, combing and stroking, and my eyes are getting heavy.
“I think I might finally be sleepy,” I murmur.
“The show is almost finished,” he says and kisses my temple. “Do you want to go to bed or stay up here?”
“We should probably go to bed. Or I should go home. I don’t want Jake and his friends to see—”
“See what? Two people in a healthy, loving relationship? Fuck that. Besides, you are home, Polly.”
I frown up at him, but his gaze doesn’t waver. “I mean, we just said the L word, Ry. I’m not sure I should move in on the same day.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “It doesn’t have to be today. I’m patient. But I’ve felt like you belong here since that first time you came to the ranch.”
I sigh and look up at the fading lights. “I do love it here. But I love my little house, too. And you just remodeled my kitchen.”
“Keep the house,” he says. “Rent it out, or use it as a guesthouse. Whatever you want.”
“A guesthouse,” I murmur, considering. “Not a bad idea.”
Suddenly, I’m flat on my back again, and Ryan is staring down at me intently. “Does this mean you’re moving in here? I need the words, babe. Spell it out for me.”
I caress his cheek, loving the scruff there. I look into his gorgeous eyes and feel the night swirling around us. The sound of owls call nearby, and I love the smell of the woods out here on this ranch.
“First, will Jake be okay with it? Ryan, you’re just hitting your stride together, and I don’t want to fuck that up for you two.”
“I will talk to him,” he promises me. “We won’t ambush him. But he adores you, and I can’t imagine him saying no. He’s a sweet kid.”
“I know he is, and I love him so much. When he didn’t get up on the field tonight, my heart stopped. Okay, if Jake doesn’t freak out about it, I think the answer is yes. Are we crazy?”
“Crazy in love,” he says with a grin, and I groan.
“That’s so cheesy.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” He kisses me, harder this time. “I love you to distraction.”
“I love you, too.”
It’s been another busy week, full of training my mom and Joy on all the ins and outs of my shop, but they’re doing great, and Katie adores them. Finally, I feel like things are back on track there, and I’ve been able to relax a bit.
I’ve decided that I won’t press charges against Melissa, but only because a court case would cost more than the cash I lost.
I’ve been able to see Ryan every night. We haven’t started moving my things over yet because he says he wants to have some rooms added onto the house so I can have the closet of my dreams, which is silly to me because there are already a plethora of rooms that I can turn into a dressing room, but he insists that it should be part of the main suite, and who am I to argue? I’ve learned that Ryan loves this kind of thing, and he’s excited.
Besides, it gives us a little more time to talk to Jake. I want to make sure that he’s okay with all of this before we move even one thing over. Moving slowly works great for me.
I’m bustling about the shop, ready to head out for a couple of hours, when the shop phone rings.
“Pocket Full of Polly, how can I help you?”
“May I please speak with Polly?”
“This is she.” I balance the phone with my shoulder as I go through some mail.
“Hi, Polly, this is Willa Hull. I own Dress You Up in Cunningham Falls, and I’m calling for a reference for an applicant.”
I frown as I lean on the counter. Cunningham Falls is a cute ski town five hours from here. “Okay, I can help with that. Who’s the applicant?”
“Melissa Foss,” she says, and I can’t reply for a moment. “Polly?”
“Sorry, I’m just taken aback. I fired Melissa only a week ago. Did she move up there?”
“Not yet. She said she’s considering a move up this way but that she wanted to secure a job before she made the change. If you fired her, I assume you don’t want to give her a good recommendation?”
“No,” I confirm firmly. “I absolutely do not. She stole from me, Willa.”
“Wow. You can prove it?”
“Yes, ma’am. I wouldn’t trust her at all, and I do not recommend you hire her.”
“Well, I’m glad I called. Looks like it’ll be a hard pass on Melissa. Thank you for your time.”
“You’re welcome.”
I hang up and feel like punching something. How does Melissa have the freaking balls to list me as someone who might give her a positive recommendation?
Before I can grab my purse to head out, the door opens and in walks Jessica.
“Jess,” I say in surprise. “Did you get the message I left, offering my condolences? I didn’t want to intrude too much, but I wanted to touch base.”
“Yeah,” she says, swallowing hard and looking guilty. “I got it. Listen, Polly, my dad didn’t die.”
I blink at her in surprise. “Excuse me?”
“I made it up.” Tears spring to her eyes, and I can feel my mom and Joy pause in hanging dresses across the store to listen in. “It’s just…Melissa was so awful, Polly. She wasn’t just a bully, she was abusive to all of us, and I couldn’t take it, but I didn’t want to quit because I love this job.”
She sniffs, and I feel angry all over again.
“I feel awful for leaving Katie alone with her,” she continues, “but that girl has spine. Whenever Melissa got mean with her, Katie would tell her to go fuck herself. I want to be that girl when I grow up.”
“Me, too,” I mutter, taking this all in.
“I know that I lied, and I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t do it. So, if that means that I’m fired, I understand, but I needed to come in and tell you the truth.”
“I appreciate that.” I sigh, suddenly feeling nauseous, which has been happening a lot lately. “You’re not fired, Jessica. The truth is, I need you, and I think you do a good job.”
She sighs in relief.
“However, if you lie like that again, you will no longer have a position here.”
“I understand,” she says immediately. “I would never do that under normal circumstances. Does…does Melissa still work here?”
“No.”
“Thank God.” She smiles at me. “Thank you. Thank you so much. When do you want me to come in?”
“Tomorrow. You can open with me.”
“That’s perfect,” she says, nodding. “I’ll see you then.”
After she leaves, I take a look around. Jeez, a lot has happened already today, and it isn’t even lunchtime.
“Okay, you guys have everything under control?” I ask as Mom and Joy giggle over folding T-shirts. “I’m headed over to the Iconic Women’s Collective meeting if you’re okay here.”
“Oh, honey, we’re great. Besides, Katie will be here in a couple of hours, too. Don’t you worry about a thing.” Mom smiles over at me and folds a red T-shirt.
“Thanks. I’m so happy you two are having fun.”
“Are you kidding? This is the best job,” Joy replies with a wink.
The phone rings, but when I pick it up, no one answers on the other end. “Pocket Full of Polly, can I help you? Hello? Annoying.” I hang up and blow out a breath. That’s the third time that’s happened this week.
I go into the back and grab my new Chanel bag, then I have to stop by the bathroom.
I’ve been feeling so queasy the last few days. I haven’t actually thrown up, but man, am I nauseous. I haven’t been eating much because nothing sounds good, but maybe I’m just hungry.
I’ll be sure to eat something at today’s lunch.
With my tummy settled for now, I walk out to my car and scowl at the note tucked under the windshield wiper.
You’re going to regret this.
It’s a handwritten note, and if I’m not mistaken, it looks like Melissa’s writing. She must have already heard from Willa and isn’t taking the news well.
With a roll of my eyes, I tuck the note into my bag and drive up to the resort, where we’ll be having lunch at Snow Ghost. When I arrive, I see that most of the attendees are already here, and I’m surprised to see that even London is here, too.
“You’re in town!” I hug her close, so happy to see her. “But isn’t it football season?”
“Yes, but I carved out a day away so I could come to this. I love these meetings, and it’s a nice break from the city. Caleb came with me and convinced me that he’s old enough to stay at the condo by himself. Since I’m so close by, I decided to give it a go. I’m nervous as hell.”
“He’ll be great,” I assure her. “Besides, you’re only a three-minute walk away.”
“That’s what I figured,” she says with a laugh and frowns when I clutch my stomach. “Hey, you okay?”
“I think I might throw up.” I cover my mouth with my hand and rush off for the bathroom. The yogurt I managed to choke down this morning comes back up, and I take a minute to breathe deeply and rinse my mouth before returning to the others.
But when I walk out of the restroom, not only is London waiting for me, but Summer, Millie, Abbi, Erin, and even Doctor Roni Masters are all frowning at me.
“Uh, guys, I’m fine.”
“Didn’t sound like it from here,” Millie says.
“How long have you been nauseated?” Roni asks.
“A few days.” I shrug a shoulder. “I probably have a little bug or something. I don’t have a fever, though, so I’m fine.”
“We’re going to go start the meeting,” Abbi says and reaches out to pat my shoulder. “Talk to Roni for a sec, just to be sure.”
“I’ll stay here,” London assures the others. “Go get started, and we’ll be right behind you.”
“They’re making a fuss about nothing,” I inform Roni as she touches my forehead. “See? No fever. I’m totally fine.”
“Let’s go back into the restroom, where there’s privacy,” Roni suggests, and the three of us move inside. Once the door is closed, she turns back to me, just as Summer slips inside with us.
“Bestie,” Summer says with a shrug. “Can’t stay away.”
London loops her arm around Summer’s shoulders, and they stay back, listening.
“I’m really okay,” I insist, feeling silly now that so much attention is being aimed my way. “It comes and goes.”
“Polly,” Roni says, “is it possible that you could be pregnant?”
“No.” My answer is immediate, and I shake my head emphatically. “I’m on the pill. I may be a forgetful person, but I always take my pill. I have an alarm set and everything, just to make sure.”
“While the pill is usually reliable, it’s not 100 percent. Are you sure you didn’t forget it?” Roni asks.
“No, I’m sure.” I shake my head, but Summer’s eyes narrow. “What?”
“What about in Paris?” she suggests. “Were you on schedule in Paris?”
“Yes. My alarm went off at nine p.m. every day.”
“Wait,” London holds up a hand. “There’s a time change, Polly. Did you account for that?”
I open my mouth and then close it again.
“And to be clear,” Roni adds, “you have it set as an alarm, not in your health app? The health app updates with the time differences.”
“I didn’t even know that I have a health app.” I blink at the three women, and my heart starts to thump hard in my chest. “Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.”
I have to lean back against the counter as Summer rushes over and puts an arm around me.
“It’s getting stuffy in here,” I say, struggling to breathe.
“I’ll get some water,” London volunteers, leaving the bathroom.
“Okay, I need you to take long, slow breaths. I don’t want you to pass out,” Roni says, breathing the way she wants me to, but my mind is whirling. Could I be pregnant? Oh, God, I’m not ready for that. Things are so good right now. I don’t want to mess it all up.
“It’s okay,” Summer assures me. “Polly, everything is okay. Whether you’re pregnant or not, you’ve got this.”
“Not part of the plan,” I mutter and hang my head in my hands. “It’s so new, Summer. It’s too soon.”
“Hey, Ryan cares about you.”
“I know that,” I reply as London walks in with water. “We already told each other we love each other, and he’s asked me to move in.”
“Congratulations,” London says with a wide smile as I sip the water. “That’s excellent news. Of course, anyone with eyeballs can see that he’s completely smitten with you.”
“But a baby? We just said the L word last week. It’s too new, you guys.”
“Whoa,” Roni says, “slow down. You’re sending yourself into a panic attack, and we don’t even know for sure if you are pregnant. I suggest you go take an at-home test. They’re very accurate, and if you’re having symptoms, you’ll get an accurate reading. Do that first and then take the next step.”
“She’s right,” Summer says. “Let’s go. We’ll take a test.”
“We have the meeting.”
“I’ll make your excuses,” London says. “It’ll be fine, and they’ll understand. I’ll just say that you’re under the weather and Summer left to help you. It’s really okay. You’ll go crazy if you wait to take the test.”
“She’s right,” Summer agrees.
And I know that I could never sit through this whole lunch with my mind whirling, wondering if I’m pregnant.
“Okay,” I agree. “I’ll swing through the pharmacy. Meet at my house?”
“Let’s do it,” Summer says with a nod.
Less than an hour later, I’m staring down at two lines on a white stick.
“Well, fuck me.”
“He did, and he has super sperm because you’re pregnant even while on the pill.”
I feel my eyes fill with tears as I look up at Summer, and she rushes over to pull me in for a hug.
“Oh, honey, don’t cry.”
“I’ve been crying nonstop for the past week,” I reply and accept the offered tissue. “Shit, he’s going to think I’m trapping him for his money.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Ryan isn’t stupid. You’re in love, you’re hot for each other, and these things happen. He’s not going to think you’re trapping him.”
“Everyone else in town will.”
“Stop it. No, they won’t. Besides, who gives a shit if they do? He loves you. He already said that before a baby was even a consideration, so I know that it’s soon, but, Polly, you could do far worse than being in love with a very wealthy man whose mission in life is to make sure your every whim is seen to.”
Well, when she puts it like that…
“Okay, maybe it won’t be that bad, but…”
“No buts. Go find that man, tell him about this baby, and figure it out together.”
I blink at her, wipe my nose, and sigh. “You really think it’ll be okay?”
“I do. I know Ryan. He’s not going to disappoint you with this, friend.”
“Okay. I’m going out there now, before I lose my courage.”
“Excellent idea. Call me later.”
I have no idea how I’m going to bring up the subject with Ryan, but I figure I’ll wing it when I get there.
I pull out of my driveway and head down the street. The red Mercedes is still parked down the block. I wonder if they moved in? After I pass them, I see them pull onto the street behind me, and then I don’t pay them any attention at all as I feel dread fill my chest.
Poor Jake. I don’t want him to feel bullied into sharing his dad with me and a new baby. I’m already about to interrupt his life, and I feel bad enough about that. Add on a baby, and that’s a lot of disruption for a kid who’s lived with chaos most of his life.
I turn onto the highway, headed out of town, and suddenly, something hits me from behind.
With a gasp, I look in the rearview mirror and see the red Mercedes.
“What the fuck?”
They ram me again and then zoom up beside me and side-swipe me, pushing me off the highway altogether. I scream as my SUV plummets into the ditch and then head-first into a tree.
I’m dizzy, looking around, and see that the tiny car also hit a tree, and whoever is driving isn’t moving.
Oh, God. I have to call for help. But I’m so dizzy.
I’m so…dizzy.