Wild Wolf (Darkmore Penitentiary Book 4)

The moon was a blur above me as I swayed, standing in the long grass. I’d run away from the house with a burst of speed, the wine I’d drunk making me unsure exactly how far I’d moved, but it had to be pretty damn far.

My chest was cracking, letting all the twisted pain of my past slip out and ooze through me like poison. Darkmore was done with me, Rosalie didn’t need me and the moon was hell bent on destroying me. This curse likely had no answer. It was set on my death and I was fooling myself if I really thought there was a way out.

A hiccup drew my attention and I turned as Jack stumbled towards me, his shirt on backwards and torn at the collar, his still black hair standing up on one side and lipstick smeared across his mouth.

“Mason,” he said by way of greeting and I nodded, glancing over his shoulder to the vines he’d emerged from where soft moans and giggles were spilling into the night from at least three female voices.

“I see you’ve made some new acquaintances,” I said a little frostily because my own dick certainly wasn’t seeing any action and I couldn’t get the vision of Rosalie Oscura being worshipped by three other men out of my mind, the imprint of it seared onto the backs of my eyelids and taunting me with every blink.

“Umm…yeah…” Hastings shuffled awkwardly and I found myself blurting an apology at him before I could stop the words from spewing from my lips.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “For…not being the Fae you thought I was. For letting myself get embroiled with Twelve and falling for her tricks. I should have been someone you could rely on, look up to, but really I was just her pawn, falling for every sweet word, gentle caress, drop of blood…”

Hastings pursed his lips, considering my words then shrugged. “I fell for her too,” he admitted. “Tried to kiss her once.” He cleared his throat and glanced back to the giggles which came from the vines before going on. “Not that she allowed it. And honestly I can see now that I don’t fit with her. The Incubus was right about that – I’m not a match for the wildness in her. But…I think you are…sir,” he added hastily as I shot him a sharp look.

“She has her harem well stocked with three other-”

“But she still looks at you like she’s waiting for you,” he said. “She is clearly a lot of things that neither of us realised back in Darkmore but not all of those things are bad. I think she freed me when she freed herself from that place…and I think she wants to free you too, Mason. You just have to let her.”

I frowned at him, the alcohol I’d consumed making his words sound all too alluring but the curse mark on my arm and the three men she was probably still fucking – even though it had been hours since I’d run from them – spoke of a different fate for me.

“Jack!” called a seductive voice from within the vines. “I need you, come back to us!”

Hastings turned bright red, opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, cleared his throat then saluted me before striding back into the vineyard to answer that call.

I gritted my jaw, shooting away at speed so that I didn’t have to listen to any part of what he was getting up to and rounding the house before stumbling to a halt near the foot of the sweeping lawn.

My vision steadied as I managed to stop swaying, the moon coming into sharp focus above me. Every rivet and shadow was like a taunting smile that was turned my way, mocking my futile hope that there was a chance for me yet.

“Fuck you!” I hollered, my rage spilling out all at once. “If you want me dead, then take me now – why make me wait?!”

The moon was quiet in answer and a growl fell from my throat. I released a tide of curses at the celestial being that had afflicted me, letting out my fury until my voice echoed off the hillside.

“Cain,” a gruff voice made me turn and I found Roary Night at my back, reaching for me.

I looked to his outstretched hand and he dropped it, his brow drawing low. “You’re riling up the Oscuras.” He gave me a shove as a chorus of howls sounded from the direction of the manor and I realised I hadn’t run all that far from the house. “Move before they come out here and gut you for speaking about the moon that way.”

As the howls gathered in momentum, I turned and raced for the trees marking the border of their land, not wanting to deal with that shit while my mind was thick with a haze of alcohol. Roary came with me, keeping up, but stumbling over a log as we made it to a clearing. He crashed to the ground, carving a line in the earth as he skidded to a halt at my feet like a half-blind mule with three legs.

He huffed angrily, shoving himself upright and half-heartedly wiping at the dirt covering his jeans.

“You’re the clumsiest Vampire I’ve ever encountered,” I muttered.

“I’m not a fucking Vampire, that’s why,” he hissed and agony flared in his eyes, telling of how much he yearned for his Lion.

I regarded him with a pit opening up in my chest, the thought of losing my Order too vile to consider.

“Mm,” I grunted. “Well it’s your focus that’s the problem. You’re trying too hard to see where your feet land rather than watching where you’re going.”

“My legs are moving so fast, I can’t help but look to make sure I don’t fall and fucking break them,” he sighed.

“You’ll only fall if you don’t watch what’s ahead of you and listen to the world around you. Your legs will take care of themselves if you focus on where you’re damn well going.”

“It’s impossible to adjust to how quickly the world comes at me,” he said, shaking his head.

“Not for our kind,” I said. “You need to trust your Order.”

“It’s not my Order!” he bellowed and a few birds took off from their roosts in the trees around us.

Silence fell and the branches above us swayed in the breeze, making the moonlight ripple across us both. Roary’s hands flexed at his sides, the muscles in his arms tight.

“I feel invaded,” he said at last, his voice lower, hollower. “This thing inside me isn’t mine. It doesn’t belong to me.”

“It’s yours if you embrace it, but shit, I can’t even begin to imagine what it might take to do that mentally.”

“Embracing it feels like betraying my Lion,” Roary admitted.

I nodded stiffly.

“Anyway, I came to find you because Rosalie is worried about you,” he said and my walls flew back up.

“What does she have to worry about?” I scoffed. “She has her two mates and her psychotic plaything to keep her happy.”

“You’re a stubborn motherfucker, aren’t you?” He shook his head at me as if I was the problem and my fingers twitched on instinct, the urge to scold him for talking to me that way still ingrained deep. But stars be damned, he had a point.

And we weren’t on uneven ground anymore. Out here in the real world, it was every Fae for themselves.

“My friend Merrick used to say the same thing,” I said, the memory of my childhood friend cutting open an old wound. It was why I forced all thoughts of him from my mind as often as I could.

“The boy you grew up with under Benjamin Acrux’s rule?” Roary confirmed.

“How’d you know about that?” I clipped.

“Sin told me everything.”

“Of course he did,” I huffed, glancing away from him, unsure if I wanted to go any further with this conversation.

“Lionel Acrux was the one who sent me to prison. Gave me a sentence that was far longer than any thief should have gotten. And he forced me to make a death pact to ensure I was never released early. That’s why Rosalie came to Darkmore. She felt responsible for me ending up there – even though that’s bullshit – but she knew the only way I’d walk out of there as a young man was by breaking me out. Anyway, my point is, I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of an Acrux’s wrath. Their favourite kind of power is one built of cruelty.”

I nodded, easily agreeing on that. “I thought I’d put my past to rest, but seeing Benjamin again showed me how damn foolish I was to think that. I am my past. Just a walking wound who lashes out at the world because of the anger I feel inside. That anger lies with Benjamin, but he wasn’t there to receive it, so I offered it to everyone else. I am so very filled with hate, Roary, and I think it’s mixed with my blood like venom. There’s no antidote, no cure. I am this heartless creature because of him, but there’s no undoing that now.”

“You’re a fool if you believe that, Cain. And I think you’re a lot of things, but a fool is not one of them.” Roary’s eyes glinted silver as the moon caught in them and I found myself stepping slightly closer to him.

“I’m a miserable fuck who deserves everything he gets.” I tugged up my left sleeve, revealing the curse mark and Roary regarded it, moving nearer. “She told you about this?” I guessed and he nodded, reaching out to trail his index finger over the rose vine that was crawling over my skin.

“I’ve never seen magic like it,” he said. “Rosa holds gifts that go beyond any normal Wolf, perhaps any normal Fae.”

“Not even she knows how to undo this.” I tugged my sleeve back down. “The moon has decided my fate.”

“No fate is ever set. You could still break the curse. Stranger things have happened, Cain. Don’t lose faith just yet.”

“Why are you on my side all of a sudden?” I asked suspiciously.

“Because I’m starting to see what Rosalie sees in you.”

“An easily manipulated guard who now trails around after her like a hungry dog?” I sneered.

“You discount yourself so simply,” he tutted. “Maybe if you tried noticing your good deeds, you’d find more to count than bad.”

“I highly doubt that,” I said bitterly.

“Rosa is forming a pack out of us. You should be a part of that. She wants you to be,” he insisted.

“No, I’m not part of the pack, Roary. But I have decided on something. I’m hers now. Whatever she seeks, I will be in service to her until she secures it. I will follow her commands and do as she bids me to.”

“Well if that’s not the definition of being part of her pack, then I don’t know what is.” Roary quirked a grin at me and I blew out a breath of dismissal.

“The moon marked you as good for her, while it marked me as bad for her. If that’s not proof of our differences, inmate, I don’t know what is.”

“Inmate?” he mused. “I don’t see any bars out here between these trees.”

“Old habits die hard.”

“True. But let them die, Cain,” he said, the smile dropping from his face. “Embrace the new world.”

“Only if you do the same,” I said, arching a brow at him.

“I might need some help with that,” he muttered.

“I thought you’d never ask,” I taunted. “You need someone to teach you the ways of your Order, and the rules that come with keeping our urges in check. The Vampire Code. You almost fell into the hunt before, and I know better Vampires than you who have lost themselves to it entirely. They don’t come back. And you won’t either if it happens again.”

“Teach me then,” Roary urged, grabbing my hand. “Swear you will.”

I hesitated, knowing the responsibility this would be. He should have been taught by the best of our kind, a role model that could teach our ways with patience and understanding. I wasn’t exactly the poster child for the position, but then again, Roary wasn’t your everyday newly Awakened Vampire. So maybe I was exactly who he needed.