Wild at Heart

It was probably stupid of me to go on my own, but I’ve been making stupid decisions lately, so why stop now? It would be easier for me to just get a car and drive there but being a werewolf in a territory that I’ve walked a million times, I never wanted to waste the money on one. For a while there, I had Nick driving me places, but that stopped. I looked up at the sky and prayed to the Moon Goddess to show me direction in my life. It seemed that ever since the Mating Ritual, my life hasn’t been the same. I growled and dropped to my knees, my bones snapping like twigs as they stretched and contorted into new shapes. I lifted my head and snout and let out a loud howl. Sometimes I felt like she was in charge more than she was before I was shot with the wolfsbane poisoned arrow. Maybe it was just all the anger I had pent up in my body from the recent events.

I ran towards the wood, cutting back through the river and ending up in Nick’s backyard. I knew he would smell me long before I made it to the porch, so I sat and waited for him. It had been three days since I’ve seen him in person. I didn’t realize how long it was until I saw him standing in the doorway, his sweatpants hugging his hips and his chest bare. I forgot what the power felt like having your mate so close to you, especially an alpha.

I let my bones snap back into their human form while Nick watched me from the porch. I ran my fingers through my hair to tame it out before walking up the porch stairs and stopping right in front of him.

“Shall we go inside and talk, little wolf?” He asked. I nodded and he led the way. He locked the glass doors behind me as I went straight to the bedroom where I still had clothes in the dresser. I threw on an oversized shirt and a pair of workout shorts before sitting on the edge of the bed. I pulled my foot up under me and looked up at Nick, waiting for him to say something. Yet, all he did was stare at me and all I could do was stare back. Our relationship has been rocky since the night we escaped the bunker. Nick knelt on one knee in front of me and took my hands in his. “Emma?” He rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand. “Talk to me.” It was such a simple request, yet it was so hard. Our last deep conversation happened right in this bed when we got home from the hospital. I confessed that the surgery Dr. Morris did to fix my lung wasn’t the only surgery she performed. I cried in his arms until there was nothing left in me to cry. Nick wanted to grieve the loss of our unborn child and I just wanted answers. I wanted to know how my baby was lost to me before it was even able to develop a heartbeat of its own. I harassed Dr. Morris, bombarding her with questions. Was it the wolfsbane that poisoned my blood that caused me to miscarry? Was it the battle I threw myself into to save my pack? I needed answers, but she couldn’t give them to me. She didn’t know why and there wasn’t a test she could do that would tell me. I closed myself off to Nick despite his plea to let him in. We coped differently, but I was selfish. I had Chloe, Natalie, Kyle and Lucas to distract me. I had the bar and my dad, but who did Nick have? His Beta was planning a wedding and helping his mate overcome the loss of Emmett and Roland. I left Nick alone to deal with everything while I tried to deal with my losses on my own.

“Reginald was in my house.” I blurted out. I could tell by the way Nick’s face dropped that he thought I was here for different reasons. Suddenly, he became angry as he stood to his feet and began pacing. “He didn’t do anything, he wanted…tea.” I stayed seated on the bed as I watched him go back and forth like a caged animal.

“I should have warned you here was here.” He finally spoke, but his movements didn’t slow.

“It’s not your fault. I haven’t been exactly welcoming.” I looked at the ground and noticed his feet stop after they turned to me. I looked up to see his golden eyes on me again.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “For now.”

“He threatened you?” He became angry again.

“No,” I stood up to calm his nerves. “But he said something to me.” I pursed my lips and thought about it. How could he know.

“What did he say, Emma?”

“He knows what happened to Derek.”

“That’s not possible.” Nick shook his head at me and gripped my arms, rubbing them lightly. “No one knows what happened but me and you.”

“The red wolf ripped out his heart.”

“What?”

“That’s what Reginald said to me.” Nick rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about the information I just threw at him. “That’s very specific information on his death for no one besides me and you knowing how he died. And the fact that my hair is red is not a coincidence.”

“Emma, I’m telling you there is no way for anyone to know what really happened.” Nick tried to convince me again.

“You don’t think I don’t know that?” I asked. “I was there, Nick, we barely made it out alive before the bunker collapsed.”

“Okay, so we twist his words.” Nick spoke after a few silent seconds. “We don’t know who told him this and we don’t know the context. You’re the red wolf and you ripped his heart out, but not physically.”

“I broke his heart by accepting you as my mate instead of him?” Nick nodded.

“We stick to our story, he died in the explosion. There’s no reason to change that now.” I took a breath and thought about it. It could work. Reggie wasn’t specific in anything he told me. He was very cryptic, but that wasn’t unusual.

“Okay.” I agreed and sat back down on the edge of the bed. We were silent again, both of us afraid to be the first to speak. The awkwardness filled the room and I finally stood to my feet. “I should go back home.” I went for the door, but Nick’s hand grasped my wrist. We both froze.

“Stay.” Nick whispered.

“Nick—”

“Please?” I turned to him and he stepped towards me. My back hit the door and I caught my breath as his chest touched mine. I closed my eyes and let his fingers trail down my cheek and neck. He stopped at the little cross-shaped scar on my chest that I used to keep covered. I was so ashamed of my experience I didn’t want anyone to see the evidence of my weakness until I embraced it as a sign of my strength. “Stay with me, Emma.” I could feel his breath on my ear as he whispered. Oh, sweet Moon Goddess, what the hell do I do?