Wild at Heart

I woke up to the sound of the television still on. I rubbed my eyes and looked down to see Nick resting peacefully in my lap. I brushed my fingers through his hair and leaned my head back. I didn’t remember falling asleep and I definitely didn’t remember Nick falling asleep. I slid out from under him and placed a throw pillow under his head where my lap was. He stirred slightly but he didn’t wake. I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned the television off. I jumped in the shower and made quick of cleaning my body. My eyes felt heavy and I knew my body was ready to go back to sleep. I did one last good rinse of my hair and turned the shower off. I felt something in the pit of my stomach, but I brushed it off and opened the glass door and reached for my towel. I gasped and held the towel to my chest, not expecting Nick to be standing in the middle of the bathroom.

“Jesus, Nick, you scared me.” I wrapped the towel around me tightly and looked at my mate, but he had this blank stare that made me think he was sleepwalking. “Nick?” I stepped toward him, but he didn’t move. “Are you okay?” I asked. Out of nowhere he jumped on top of me, his hands wrapping around my neck. The force of his body hitting mine had us both falling backwards and shattering the glass door to the shower. I felt my skin ripping from the glass piercing my skin. Nick held me down, his hands tightly around my neck. I pushed on his chest, trying to get him off me, but he didn’t move. His face was a blank stare, nothing but emptiness in his eyes. I clawed at his fingers, trying to pry his grip off me. His arms twitched with strength and I was terrified. “Nick— please!” My voice was barely audible. I couldn’t breathe and flashbacks of me drowning were circling my brain.

“Are you going to rip my heart out too, little wolf?” I jerked violently and gasped for air as I woke from my nightmare. I was back on the couch, the television still on and making sounds in the background. I flinched at Nick’s touch as he jumped awake and wrapped his arms around me.

“What is it, Emma?” He asked. My body was shaking underneath him as he stroked my hair gently. “Another nightmare?” He asked. It had been a long time since my sleep was haunted with such evil.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“Don’t apologize, Emma.” He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes, wondering what the hell just happened. My nightmares were almost always circled around Derek. I’ve never had a nightmare where Nick was violent towards me and it shook me more than ripping my best friend’s heart out did. “Can you go back to sleep?” He asked me. I shook my head instantly. I wasn’t going to be able to let the darkness take my mind when something like that was on the other side.

“You sleep.” I said. “I’m going to take a walk.”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. I just want to clear my head. You need the sleep; you look like hell.”

“Gee, thanks.” He said with a smile. I forced a smile back at him and he shuffled off to the bedroom.

I couldn’t get the image of Nick staring into my face with such emptiness out of my head. I knew it wasn’t real, but in the moment, it felt so real that I still had shivers down my spine. I kept walking until I reached my old house. I don’t know why I still had the damn thing. It was almost completely empty now and I haven’t stepped foot in it in months. Perhaps I should rent it out to someone? Or just sell it and be done with it? I knew I no longer needed it. I had no intentions of ever leaving Nick’s house. It was a little small for the size of the family he wanted, but it would do. That is… if I can even give him a pup. There it was again, that self-pity party that I kept finding my mindset in.

A familiar wolf’s scent caught in my nose and I quickly turned to face him. My lips curled into a huge smile and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

“Man am I glad to see you out and about.” Alan said as he returned my embrace.

“I’m only out and about because of you.”

“I’d do anything in my power to keep you safe, Emma.” He smiled warmly at me and I wondered if this was what it felt like to have a beta. A wolf you could trust with your life, a wolf that felt more like a brother than a fellow warrior.

“I owe you my life, Alan.”

“No, you don’t.” He shook his head firmly. “You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count.”

“But who’s counting?” He chuckled at me and stared off behind me.

“What are you doing out here?” He asked me as his eyes moved back to my face.

“I just wanted some air. Walks at night are nice and quiet.” I said with a shrug. “I don’t get many quiet nights anymore.”

“Can I walk with you?” He asked.

“Of course.” We started down the sidewalk again, leaving my house in the rearview.

“Nick says you two are going to the East Pack for a few days.”

“Yeah, I guess I kind of have to.” I tried my best not to roll my eyes.

“You’ll have to bring me back some herbs, I hear they have the best.” I playfully punched his arm and we both laughed.

“Do you trust them?” I asked him.

“I think Nick does, and I want to follow my Alpha.”

“But?” I could sense the hesitation in his voice.

“But I get an odd feeling around them.” I nodded, thankful that someone finally agreed with me.

“I do too.” We walked a little more in silence before I finally spit out the question I have been thinking about since the day in the mountains. “What happened up there, Alan?”

“When you fell?” I nodded. “I wish I knew, Emma.” His eyes fell with sadness. “I was grabbing a shirt out of the van, getting ready to start it up so we could head back and the next thing I knew you were falling. I tried to catch you, but I was too late and you slipped. I watched you fall for a minute, but I knew the only chance I had was to get to the river. We all got in the van and I took off as fast as I could down the mountain. It took me a few minutes to track you once we got down to the river. But when I saw you come up for air, I just dove right in.”

“I’m glad you did.” I smiled at him again. His warm aura reminded me of Emmett and it made my heart ache for just a moment.

“Come on, let me get you back to our Alpha.” He offered his arm to me and I linked my own in his, letting him lead the way back to the pack house.