: Chapter 22
Past
I tapped on Caleb’s door. It swung open without resistance, revealing an empty room. His bed was made, the pillows smoothed. And no sign of the boy I was searching for.
Instead of calling out for him, I left the doorway and crept down the hall. Voices were coming from his parents’ room. I paused, unsure for a split second, then continued on.
“You’re being unreasonable,” Mrs. Asher hissed.
I froze again.
“Me? I’m the unreasonable one?” A male voice… but not Caleb’s dad. “This is insane, Lydia. You can’t expect me to go along with this.”
“I can, and I will,” she snapped. “Lord knows we pay you enough.”
“There isn’t enough money in the world to help us if we get caught,” he answered. “Something I’m sure you’re well aware of.”
She sighed. She often sighed at Caleb and me. We did ridiculous things just to get a sigh out of her—her whole body moved with it, an exaggerated slump. She was an actress in a former life, she often told us. Dramatics were etched into her soul.
“We’ve come too far to turn back.” Her voice got louder, and the door opened.
With a start, I realized I was in the middle of the hall, about to be caught eavesdropping. I ran back to Caleb’s room, pressing myself against the wall behind his door.
“Lydia, I don’t think—”
“Quiet.”
I held my breath.
Her footsteps came closer and closer to Caleb’s room, slowing down. She was visible through the crack between the door and the wall. She paused, taking a step into the room and vanishing from my sight. Any second, the door would fly closed and my hiding spot would be revealed.
“Mom?” Caleb called.
Mrs. Asher retreated into the hallway. “Ah, there you are. Where have you been lurking?”
“I was getting a snack. Amber said it was okay.”
Lydia hummed at the mention of my mom. “Fine.”
“Nice to see you, kid,” the man said.
He flashed by the crack in the door as he walked past Lydia. His footsteps hammered down the stairs. And then he was gone, and Lydia was retreating, too.
Caleb walked into the room and swung his door shut. He stared at me, frowning. “What are you doing?”
Fear wrapped around my throat. “Shh!”
“Were you hiding from Mom?”
“No!”
My first lie.
Present
“Parker, Wheeler, and Smith. How can I help you?”
“Can I speak with Mr. Rodrigues?” I twirl a piece of my hair in an effort to keep calm.
“Are you a client?”
“It’s regarding an old case,” I say.
Riley sits across from me, her eyes wide.
“Name?”
“Margo—er, Appleton.”
Riley hits me with the back of her hand. “Hey!”
“Hold, please,” the receptionist says. There’s a click, then classical music fills my ears.
“Sorry. She put me on hold.”
“Naturally.”
The music cuts out, and the receptionist says, “I’m transferring you over to Mr. Rodrigues’s line now.”
“Thanks—”
A click, and then more ringing.
“Tobias Rodrigues. How can I help you, Ms. Appleton?” His words come out in an impatient rush. It might be because this phone call isn’t billable.
I grab the notebook Riley has on her lap and clear my throat. “I was wondering if you could help me. My friend’s dad had a public defender about eight years ago, and all she can remember is the name Tobias—”
“No, no. I came from a prosecutor’s office four years ago, and my law firm mainly handles civil cases.”
Dad was tried in criminal court, and this guy wasn’t even a defense attorney at that point.
“I’m sorry to have wasted your time. Thank you.” I hang up and drop the phone, falling back on the bed. “Well, that leaves… one. Not very good odds.”
She makes a face. “One is all we need. You’ll recognize him, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, let’s go to New York City then.” She stands, pulling me up with her.
“Wait, now?”
Riley snorts. “I mean…”
My phone rings. Caleb’s name flashes across my screen, and I promptly turn it facedown. I’m not avoiding him, per se… but we’re investigating why he knows my dad’s lawyer.
I don’t want to lie to him, and I can’t exactly tell the truth. What if he tries to stop me? He could. He has the power to stop me in my tracks, at least temporarily. Distract me. Or worse, lie to me. And so, we’re avoiding. Big time.
“He’s going to get suspicious,” Riley says.
“I’ll deal with it later.”
Her eyebrow lifts. Almost as soon as my phone goes quiet, Riley’s starts up.
She frowns. “Eli? Um, yeah, she’s with me—”
I shake my head fast. “No, Riley—”
She hands me the phone, looking apologetic. “Caleb.”
“Obviously.” I take the phone and put it to my ear, announcing, “You’re interrupting girl time.”
“Girl time.”
My breath hitches. I haven’t heard that dangerous edge to Caleb’s voice in a while.
And yet, I continue on. “Yep. Riley and I were enjoying the peace and quiet. Catching up after a long day at school—”
“Where were you at lunch?”
I flashback to the first time he asked me. Then, it was to embarrass me.
Let’s play a game.
“Busy.” I grind my teeth together. “Why?”
I can practically hear his shrug. “Let’s say I care.”
“That’d be a new one.”
“You’re on dangerous ground here, Margo.”
I roll my eyes, turning away from Riley. If I push Caleb to his breaking point, I’ll know where we stand. “Maybe I like dangerous ground.”
It strikes me that I did something similar when we were kids. Showing up at his house in a white dress, asking him to marry me… The motive was the same. I push until he gives me a definite answer.
He’s silent. Then, “Enjoy your girl time.”
The line goes dead, and I blink down at it. He just hung up on me without an argument.
My pushing didn’t work.
“Did your ploy backfire?” Riley laughs at my expression.
“He said to enjoy girl time.” I hand her phone back, shaking my head. “I never know what to do with him.”
“It sounds kind of menacing. Oh! I just had an idea.”
“What?”
She grabs my hand and tows me downstairs, into Robert’s study.
He looks up at us and smiles. “You seem a bit on the mischievous side, Riley. What’s up?”
“My dad is taking me to the open house at NYU next weekend,” she tells him.
My heart drops into my feet.
“So I was thinking that Margo should come with us. You know, get to tour a college.” She glances back at me, ignoring the panic I’m sure is on my face. “She hasn’t really spoken much about it, and deadlines are coming up for seniors.”
“Riley.” I slip my hand from hers and put some distance between us. “I’m not going to college.”
Both of them pause.
This has been a reality since I was ten years old. Before then? I had a plan. A loose one, of course, but a plan nonetheless. Kid-Margo was a planner, but that side of me got destroyed by the foster system. Now, the best plan is no plan.
“What are you going to do after you graduate?” Robert leans forward on his desk and watches me closely.
I shrug, shifting. “Well, you’re only obligated to keep me until I’m eighteen, which is coming up kind of fast. January twenty-eighth.” I laugh nervously. “Maybe I’ll be a waitress? They make good tips. There’s housing for aged-out foster kids, like a transitional sort of thing. Ms. McCaw can help me with it.”
Robert slowly closes his laptop. “No.”
“Huh?” I blink at my foster dad.
“No, I’m sorry.” He stands and brushes past me. In the hallway, he yells, “Len! Come here, please.” And then he’s back, and he glances at Riley expectantly.
“Right, er, okay. I’ll see you later, Margo.” She pats my shoulder and scurries out.
Robert and I stare at each other. He’s scowling, but it’s not directed at me, exactly. I mean, he’s looking at me but he’s not angry at me. By now, I’ve learned how to tell the difference.
Lenora hurries in and stops short at his expression. Then my worried one.
“What’s wrong?” She reaches out and touches my cheek. “You’re flushed. Are you okay?”
“She doesn’t want to go to college,” Robert bites out.
This is the first time I’ve seen him upset like this.
It scares me.
I shrink away from both of them, rubbing my arms. “So? It won’t be your problem.”
Lenora clucks her tongue and goes to one of the plush chairs in front of Robert’s desk. “Let’s start at the beginning. Sit down, honey. Both of you.”
We do. Robert perches on the edge of his chair behind the desk, and I sink into the one next to Lenora. I guess it’s about time we discuss my plans for the future.
“All I said was, once I’m out of the system, I’ll apply for community housing and get a job.” I pull my leg up to my chest, wrapping my arms around it. It’s safer that way. “I don’t have the money to put myself through college. They require the tax forms filled out ahead of time, so I guess I could take a few classes the following year… I turn eighteen on January twenty-eighth, and then I’m out.”
“Unacceptable,” Robert says. “First of all, you are bright. You have a future ahead of you that I refuse to see you throw away.”
My skin feels too tight. I’ve been avoiding this since I got here—it’s terrible timing to be placed with a new family so close to eighteen. I struggle to take a deep breath and have to flatten my hands on my thighs to stop them from shaking.
“I get it,” I say softly. “You wanted the best for Isabella. But me? Once I leave, I have nothing. I’ll be starting over—again.”
Lenora puts her hand on top of mine. “Don’t leave, then.”
The whole world screeches to a halt.
“What?”
She smiles at me, but it’s tentative. “We want you to stay.”
“Even when you age out,” Robert adds. “And…”
“If you want to go to college, we’re going to support you. We’re not abandoning you the moment you have a birthday.” Lenora reaches out and wipes a tear from my cheek.
I didn’t even realize I was crying, but everything is blurry, and my heartrate is going too fast. I’m still shaking.
There’s a very specific decimation of a child’s hopes when they enter the foster system. The kid I used to be knew my parents would’ve taken me to visit colleges, helped me fill out the form, co-signed on a loan. They would’ve urged me to get a job to help fund it, maybe given me rides or taught me how to drive. It’s not something I actively thought about, it was just there. Existing.
And then Mom abandoned ship and Dad was taken away.
One of the first foster homes I was placed in was horrific. Eight kids, severe rules, no freedom. No friendships. School and home. No dinner if we were bad. The older kids made lunches for the younger ones, tucked us into bed. Everything was spotless and orderly when Ms. McCaw dropped me off, but it was a mask.
I don’t remember their names. I do remember telling on them as soon as she came to check on me. They said I was a worthless liar, and they didn’t want me either.
Another home, and then another. Some were abrupt, only meant for short periods of time. Others were longer. Ms. McCaw was either my saving grace or the devil that I didn’t want to see coming.
She represented change.
Caleb almost destroyed my relationship with the Bryans. And only a few weeks later, they’re asking me to stay… permanently.
“I don’t…” I wet my lips. I don’t know what to say or how to react.
The plan since I was a kid was to just survive until eighteen. Then keep surviving, but on my own.
So, what now?
The fear that this could end surges. They could change their minds and send me away.
“We would never want to come between you and your father, Margo,” Lenora says, “but we would adopt you if we could.”
I shake my head. “It’s only been a few months. How do you know? Why…?” Why do you even want me?
“You’re smart and kind,” Robert says. “And you fit in with us. You’ve had a hard life, but we see the good in you with every decision you make. We want to be your home, kiddo.”
I can’t tell if I’m on the verge of a panic attack or something worse. A heart attack?
But I squint at Robert, who has since lost all of his ire. Instead, his expression is soft. So I was right, earlier. He wasn’t scowling at me—just what I believed to be true.
I look to Lenora. “What did you mean, come between me and my father? We don’t have a relationship.”
They exchange a glance. She raises her eyebrows at him, and he frowns.
“You could have a relationship with him if you want.” Lenora holds up her hands. “We’re not pushing this on you, Margo. I want to be very clear that this is your decision. But if you wanted to see him, we’re supportive of it. You haven’t seen him since the trial?”
“I wasn’t allowed to go to the trial. The last time I saw him was at the park when he was arrested.”
She covers her mouth. “Oh, hon.”
Do I want to see him again?
Behind bars? Seven years older?
No. No, I thought I did, but I really, really don’t.
I stand. “I’ll think about it. And I really…” My throat closes. I swallow sharply, then continue hoarsely, “I really appreciate you both.”
Robert stands, too. “Do you want to go to the NYU open house next weekend?”
It’d be an excuse to go into the city—then Riley and I wouldn’t have to think of another reason. And as much as I hate to admit it, I’m curious. College. What would that even be like?
“I do.” Even if I can’t get in, or afford it, I can live in the pipe dream for a day.
“Great. It’s settled, then. We’ll all go.”
My mouth drops open. “Us?”
“As a family.” Lenora nods. “I went to NYU for graduate school. It’d be lovely to go back.”
I grin. “So you’ll know your way around? And the best place to get coffee?”
“Yes. Oh, this will be so much fun!” Lenora claps and jumps up. “I’m going to get dinner started.”
“I have homework to finish,” I say.
“Me, too,” Robert adds, looking down at the stack of papers. “Who knew an art teacher would assign homework? How terrible of me.”
We laugh, and Lenora hooks her arm around mine. She pulls me out of the room, leaving Robert to his silence.
Once I’m back upstairs, I grab my phone. Since the text from Unknown asking me what I’m going to do with Caleb not interested in me anymore, there’s been radio silence.
I only hope it lasts.