Whistleblower (PALADIN Book 1)

A sleepy-looking Linc joins me in the kitchen well past sunrise. I smile to myself, knowing I wore him out last night—hardly letting him sleep. I am a greedy girlfriend indeed.

“Good morning, you.” I blow him a kiss that’s pointless because it takes him about two seconds to cross my tiny kitchen and wrap me in his arms.

“I borrowed your toothbrush,” he says playfully.

“You monster.” I try to keep a straight face but fail. Chuckling, I continue, “Maybe… I could keep a toothbrush at your place…and you could keep one at mine?” I eye his ensemble. He’s wearing his collared shirt from the night before, halfway buttoned up, and his suit pants. “And possibly some comfy clothes,” I add.

Linc kisses my forehead before fetching a mug from my cabinet. “Or you could just move in with me,” he says over his shoulder.

“What?” My high-pitched shriek makes him turn around.

“What?” he asks, bewildered. “We’re spending every night together anyway.”

“Yeah…but…it’s…I…”

I rack my brain trying to come up with a better excuse for my dramatic reaction. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I remind myself that Linc has never been in a relationship before. Calling me his girlfriend is probably equivalent to taking a blood oath in his eyes. I may need to walk him through this.

“In a normal relationship, you date for a long time, get to know each other, and then, just when things are going great, you fight about something really stupid and break up. You spend a couple of weeks apart, heartbroken, and when you realize that nothing is more important than the two of you being together, you ditch all your problems, make up, declare your love, and then you take the plunge, move in together, and live happily ever after.”

It’s incredibly bizarre how Linc’s eyes are locked on me as he pours coffee into his mug. I’m convinced it’ll spill over, but even without looking, he knows exactly when to stop. “Isn’t that a lot of extra steps to get to the same result?”

“Well, yes,” I say, sipping from my mug. “But—”

“And don’t you get to know someone by spending more time with them?”

“Technically.” I draw out the syllables, suspecting that I’m headed into a trap.

“Do you want to date other people?” he asks.

“No.”

“Do you feel like you can talk to me?”

“Yes.”

“Is the sex up to your standards?”

I scowl. “Exceeds expectations.” Aka exceeds my wildest, dirtiest dreams.

“Mhm, okay.” He lifts his brows, a knowing smirk taking over his face. “Do you like sleeping next to me, and waking up with me around?” I nod in annoyance, seeing where he’s going with this. “And you feel safer when I’m with you?”

“Yes,” I grumble.

“Hm.” He shrugs casually before taking a sip of his black coffee. “Well then, you’re right. Moving in together sounds ludicrous.”

I glower at him. “This glib side of you is new. Where’s all the brooding?”

Linc winks at me, with a cheeky smile. “Something last night must’ve put me in a good mood,” he says over his shoulder as he settles into my couch.

Me…living with Linc. Is that so crazy? I try to remember when I would begin to think about moving in with past boyfriends, but the funny thing is, at the moment I can’t even remember their names. Linc’s cast such a huge shadow over every man I’ve ever been with, I guess I’m officially in uncharted territory. It’s not like I have any friends or family left to tell me I’m being crazy and moving too fast. And even if I did… Would I listen?

“What’s this?” Linc points to the coils of cables and the silver VHS player lying on my living room floor.

“My old VCR.”

“I see that, Bambi. Isn’t a VCR a little old school?”

“I was trying to watch an old movie for my birthday, but my tape is stuck and it won’t play.”

“Ah,” he says, setting down his coffee mug on the table and sitting on the floor amidst the cords. Linc may have a unique job but he’s still a man, nonetheless. A broken electronic is basically a siren’s call, singing fix me, fix me. “Is this a dirty birthday movie?” He glances at me with a grin.

“The furthest from it,” I reply. “I watch it every year. It’s a video my mom made for me before she died. I was only two when she recorded it. She knew when I grew up, I’d like to know more about her. She spends an hour on the tape just telling me about all her favorite things, about my grandparents, how she met my dad. She apologizes that she was too sick and couldn’t be here. That’s why I like to be alone on my birthday… I spend it with my mom.”

“If I would’ve known, I wouldn’t have—”

“No.” I nearly shout from the kitchen, again—unnecessarily. My kitchen and living room are basically one open space. “I am so glad you surprised me yesterday. And anyway, the tape has been stuck for about four years, but this is the first year it wouldn’t even play. Had you not shown up, I would’ve truly been by myself.”

Linc balls up a fist and I see everything play out in slow motion. “Usually these just need a good pound when they get stuck.” His words come out garbled as I slam my mug on the counter.

“Linc! Wait! That’s my only copy—”

His fist lands with a hard thud on top of the player and my heart stops. The VCR whirs and grumbles to life. The obnoxious clicking and clanking inside the machine makes my stomach churn. Oh no. I picture the tape tangling and unraveling inside the out-of-date VHS player, my only memory of my mom, being ripped to shreds. Goosebumps bubble to the surface of my skin and I bury my face in my hands to hide my look of horror. I know it’s not Linc’s fault, but fuck! Why?

Why do men always think the solution is to slam their fists into things? I could’ve had it carefully disassembled by a professional and saved my only remaining memory—

“Bambi?”

I peek between my hands to see Linc standing right in front of me, holding out a fully intact VHS tape. “It’s rewound.” He kisses my cheek nonchalantly before he makes his way to the coffee pot to refill his cup.

I stand, mouth ajar, but speechless as I hold the tape tightly against my chest. It’s the first time I’ve touched it in nearly half a decade.

“If it’s that important, maybe you should make a backup,” Linc says. “The compound has a digital lab that could convert that in a heartbeat. Do you want my help?”

His question sinks to the bottom of my heart. Linc is completely unaware of its weight. It’s been the longest year of my life. I don’t have my mom, my dad, or my dog. I learned that my friends were all fair-weather, and not even a doctorate in business could give me job security. All I’ve known for so long is anxiety, stress, and betrayal. I’ve made peace with being alone. I’m learning to make peace with fear. But now… Am I ready for it to change? Do I want his help? I know how to convert a VHS tape and I would’ve, long ago, if I could’ve freed the damn thing myself.

I turn around to see Linc handing me a paper towel to wipe up where my coffee spilled on the clean white granite. His light blue eyes are gleaming, so sweet and tender.

The killer has the kindest eyes when he looks at me.

I nod. “I’d love your help.”

“Okay, then. I’ll get it done.” When I don’t move fast enough in taking the paper towel, Linc proceeds to clean up my coffee spill on his own accord.

“Hey, Linc?”

“Yes?”

“Um…maybe you can also help me move some clothes, and my pillow, and my toothbrush to your place, for a little while… Just to see?”

He smiles, pulling me against his muscular chest. “Maybe some shoes, too.”

“Good thinking.” With a sly smile on my face, I add, “And maybe we go shopping for some breakfast foods, just for my benefit? I promise I won’t force cereal on you.”

He laughs. “Actually, cereal and oatmeal I’m okay with. The diner never served those.”

“And fruit?”

“I like fruit. Look at us—already more in common than we thought.” He swats my ass playfully on his way to the trash can.

Holy shit. Did I just agree to move in with Linc? I don’t even—

Pound! Pound!

Two loud knocks at my front door makes me jump.

“Did you order breakfast?” Linc asks me. When I shake my head, his face flattens. “Are you expecting anyone?” When I shake my head again, his eyes narrow. “Stay here,” he commands, before he heads to the front door.

After a short silent pause, I hear my front door open and close, and Linc returns to the kitchen with Vesper in tow.

“Good morning, Eden.”

Looking at Vesper’s neat ensemble—her navy pantsuit, slick ponytail and subtle, yet clean makeup, I immediately feel embarrassed at the sloppy, just-rolled-out-of-bed-after-a-marathon-of-sex look I’m sporting. I hastily smooth my loose hair and tuck it behind my ears.

“Good morning, Vesper.”

“Please pardon me, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I figured Linc would be here. We have a work emergency.”

I almost ask her why she knows where here is, but how stupid of me to assume that the real commander of PALADIN doesn’t know exactly where we all sleep, eat…and fuck. Vesper has an ethereal, all-knowing presence.

“Do you guys want a private word?” Not that I can really oblige. My apartment is quaint. The only way they are getting a truly private word is if I shut the bathroom door, turn on the shower full force, and blast some music.

“No need, and no time,” Vesper says calmly. She turns to Linc. “Your coordinates panned out, we’ve got your guy. We found out a private jet was chartered right after the shipment was intercepted.”

“Mhm,” Linc says, understanding the context I clearly don’t. “I bet he wants to know what happened to over a million dollars worth of ammo and other”—Linc eyes dart quickly in my direction—“valuables.”

“I’m assuming he thinks he’s being toyed with. He’s coming into town to deal with the arms dealers himself. There’s no better way to send a message than a bloodbath. Money’s gone, meaning—”

“Someone has to pay,” Linc finishes for Vesper.

“Right.”

It’s uncomfortable how they continue to talk shop as if I’m not even in the room. I down half my mug of coffee just to have something to do.

“If he has no idea he’s being watched and now he’s crossing country borders, why wouldn’t the FBI just arrest him?”

“They intend to,” Vesper says, giving Linc a knowing look. “But you asked for the head of the snake—I’m giving it to you on a silver platter. We need to go, now. Oh, and we’re driving. If we board a flight, Callen will know you’re headed back to New York and he’ll intervene.”

Linc wraps his arm around my shoulder and roughly yanks me into his chest. “I’m sorry, I have to take a quick trip.” He adds in a whisper against my ear, “When I get back, we’ll move your pillows, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Bye, Bambi.” Linc presses his lips against mine, distractedly. He’s saying goodbye, but his mind is already long gone, thinking about…work.

“Goodbye, Eden. We’ll be back soon,” Vesper adds politely.

I hold my palm in the air in a stoic wave.

“Drive safe,” I say, immediately wishing I could suck the words back in. Damn, that sounded stupid. But what’s the alternative? Don’t die!

The front door shuts with a loud bang. I’m suddenly alone and very aware of how quickly my boyfriend jumped at the command of another woman. I thought this weekend would be full of all the cliché couple crap I’ve been craving. Linc just got back and now he’s gone again. It seems life with Linc is very similar to the lifestyle I had growing up. My dad was gone constantly at the drop of a hat with no explanation—Linc is much the same. The only question is whether or not that means I’m well-prepared for this relationship…or if this is my early red flag to go running in the opposite direction.