Chapter The Kiss
I was about to kiss him. Again! But suddenly I didn't want to. I remembered all the humiliation I felt, and anger rose in me from my stomach to my throat, as burning the places it touched as it rose up. Not even just that, I was doing the exact thing Anton had warned me against. I was kissing my fucking boss. I turned my head in time, and he kissed my cheek instead. I felt his smile on my cheek for missing my lips, maybe he thought it was coyness, well it wasn't.
He pulled me back onto my legs into a normal position as we were finishing the dance. It was dark, and I wasn't sure he saw the simmering anger of mine or the confusion on my face. What was he thinking? After he denied the first kiss we shared with such nonchalance, why was he trying to create a second scene to ignore?
I ran my fingers through my hair to cool down a bit. I turned and looked back at the table we left, now the waiter had cleaned it off. And looked back at Matt again. He came closer to me, His hand traced my arm from my shoulder to my wrist. "What is it, love? Don't you want me to be closer to you?" he asked softly. Almost a whisper.
"Do you want to be closer to me?" I asked daringly.
"Of course I do, if not why should I bother with all of these?" He pointed to the table behind us.
"I really don't get you Matt. Maybe you want to be close to me right now, but I am not sure, you will be in the same mind when you wake up. When the reality of it comes to you."
Matt's brows furrowed. He looked like he was trying to understand what I meant.
"I am your employee, I am sure you don't want to be closer to me. Not in a way crossing any line." I said. Like the first time he did and regretted it. I was sure it was because I am his employee, and that's why he ignored everything that happened.
"Oh love, you have no idea how many lines I am willing to cross if it means I will be closer to you." he said. He sneaked a hand around my waist and placed it to the small of my back. With his other hand he held my cheek, and caressed it with the lazy strokes of his thumb. It was blurring my consciousness, with every stroke of his thumb, I was falling into a deeper trance. Then he tilted my face towards him and our foreheads met. He closed his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath before talking, like inhaling me.
"But I am not willing to cross any line that you don't want to cross with me," he said. Then he let me go. Suddenly. All the heat of his touch vanished in a second and my body freaked to feel it more. To taste his heat more. Share a breath again. But he was already on the way back to the hotel. He stopped before the pedestrian road leading back to the hotel, turned back and looked at me.
"Are you coming?"
Then I realized I was stuck in the place where he left me. I forced my legs to move and follow him. I had no right to feel resentful after I refused him a minute ago, but I was feeling a little hurt in a way that I couldn't really describe or understand. When I reached him, he held my hand casually and led me back to the hotel. In ten minutes, I was outside the door of my room in the suite. We stood up in front of the door before I went in. "Well, thank you for this amazing night." I said.
"Thank you for letting me have it with you." Matt said back. Smart mouth always knows what to say.
We stood there a little bit longer, the silence stretched out, but none of us were willing to break it first, or finish the night.
"Won't you invite me inside?" he asked finally, smirking. He broke the silence and broke the shyness as well. He was very straightforward.
"I won't " I smirked back.
"At least kiss me goodbye to help me sleep well." he said shamelessly.
"Okay." I said.
"Okay?" he asked in surprise. Before letting him think or do something, I fastly peck him on his mouth. Just a small, tiny kiss. I barely brushed his lips.
He stopped frozen... Licked his lips like trying the taste of the kiss. Damn, it was so sexy. He could be my doom.
"You cheated," he said with a gentle voice.
"No I didn't. You asked for a good night kiss and I gave you one." I said matter of factly. His eyes glinted with amusement and something more.
"You barely touched my lips," he said again.
"You didn't describe the kiss." I said. He smirked widely this time.
"Fair enough." he paused. "I want you to kiss me goodnight, with enough ferocity to rock my world and make me question why I am not worshiping you instead of god." he said as looking hungrily at my lips.
My jaw dropped open. I tried to come up with some smart words for response but nothing came to my mind, and before I muster some words in response,
"Fuck it!" he said and closed the distance between us with one fast step. He held me with his two hands cupping my cheeks and pulled me harshly on his mouth.
It was so fast and so harsh, our teeth crashed first. I couldn't do anything. Not even fight or join him. He was consuming me with such a hunger, enough to eat me whole. His kiss became more urgent, his lips roaming on my lips, his tongue seeking entrance. Then his tongue barged directly into my mouth. He shoved it down in my throat. I choked. I wasn't passive anymore, lips, teeth, tongues daring each other, meeting ferociously. My lungs started burning with the need of breathe. But both of us knew, if he broke the kiss, it would be the end of it. So we kept going until the last kernel of breath that we shared now was consumed.
Then he pulled back a little, just enough to take a breath, our forehead trusting each other, our noses still touching, still holding me trapped in his hands. Both of us were panting. Once he had enough breath, he started getting closer again, slowly this time, like testing the ground. But I couldn't do that anymore, I shouldn't. So I whispered breathlessly,
"Good night Matt."
He stopped. Still holding my face in his hands, still breathing hard on my face. Still our breaths were mixing each other. "Good night, love" he whispered back. He put a last peck on my mouth and drew himself back.
I swung forward once his hands let me go. I instantly craved for the touch again. But he was my boss. The freaking CEO of Alonzo company. Who I was kidding, we were not a match. He went to the elevator without saying any other word. He turned his face to me while the doors of the elevator closed. His hair shuffled, his lips swollen and his eyes looking longingly. He winked just before the doors closed and separated us totally for the night.
I went into my room, closed the door and trusted my back against it. Like I was stopping myself going after him and repeating same mistakes all over again. I touched my lips, now swollen and tender. I felt the taste of his lips still on mine. It was fresh like mint and lemons. And his smell was clinging to me. His expensive cologne. But it was different than I remembered. It was musk and iris. But I remembered something with sandalwood and spice from that night. Maybe he changed it. He was ridiculously rich, it was stupid to think that he had just one cologne.
I knew this was wrong. I knew he was my boss and this thing between us could never be wise. It could definitely end my career and my life. Anton already threatened me about this. But I didn't let myself think this tonight. "Regret it in the morning," I said to myself. But tonight I let myself enjoy it. The residuals of his touch and the butterflies in my stomach. Enjoy it Alice, only for tonight. And tomorrow, you have to turn to reality and never make this mistake again. I laid down on my bed, closed my eyes tightly and I replayed every detail, every touch, every breath again, over and over, until I fell asleep. And maybe even in my dream, I kept replaying it.