Which brother should I choose

"Good afternoon Mr. Wonderland..." Two men greeted my dad in unison.

"What are you doing here?" my dad answered in a pissed tone.

"Oh come now Wonderland, you weren't that rude when you asked for help from us." one of the men replied.

"Why are you here?"

"Just for a kind reminder."

"I still have time, okay?"

"Sure, but Mr. Gusso hates late deliveries, and we have to make sure everyone who works with him knows it well. Tick tock Wonderland."

"I am perfectly aware of this. Now leave my doorstep and never come back. I will come myself when the time comes." dad said.

"Don't worry, next time we won't visit for reminders. And if we visit, we won't leave without a collection."

"That won't be necessary. I will make my payments in time."

"Let's hope that's true... Good night Mr. Wonderland." the mysterious man said again.

"Good night." My dad replied curtly and banged the door closed to their faces.

I went into the living room before he came after me. I sat in the same spot but couldn't focus on the topics being discussed merrily by my sisters or mother in the living room. They didn't have a clue what had been discussed at the door. What was that? What kind of payment my dad owed to these people. And how safe was he?

I sat in silence and thought these things for the rest of the night while observing my dad's quiet and uncharacteristically solemn expression. How did my sisters or mum not recognize this? He was acting weird all night. I bet he was acting weird before tonight too. But they are always so self indulgent, they never recognize what is happening around them.

I waited until all the household retired for bed, except my dad, who went out to the garden with a whiskey bottle. Weirrrdddd! My dad never drank more than a glass or two. Now carrying the bottle?

I went after him. He was sitting under the oak tree he adores so much. We planted that tree together when we first moved to this house from a small apartment. I was so excited to finally have a garden to play in and he was more excited than me to finally provide a real house for his family. I was eight years old then, but I still remember how we dug a place for this oak tree and planted it and how I helped him with my tiny hands. Rachel was a baby back then, and Bunny hadn't been born yet.

Now that tiny oak tree is a huge tree spread nearly half of the garden. My dad raised his head and started looking at the oak tree. When I reached his side, he didn't show a hint of recognition but then talked in a small voice.

"You know, this tree will always be my dearest. Because I planted this with you. And when I look back on my life, all my dearest memories are about or with you. You are a blessing for me Alice, you know that?" I sighed. He was always good to make me feel like I am important.

"I know daddy. You are the same for me too."

"No, I am not. I don't deserve your love. And not deserve the love of the rest of my family..."

"Why are you saying that daddy? You know we all love you so much and you are a devoted father that most of the children would die to have such a parent." He snorted.

"If only you knew..." he said.

"Then tell me daddy. Who were those guys? What were they asking from you?"

He sighed and closed his eyes for a second. Then started talking before opening his eyes.

"I made a mistake, Alice."

"Tell me dad..."

"I landed money from a loan shark. And it turned out he was connected with a local mafia and he transferred my debt to him. Now technically I am in debt with the mafia."

I kept my silence for a second and tried not to give a major reaction. If I freaked out, it would make him more miserable about it. But I had to ask for more details so I talked calmly. "And why did you need money?"

"Because of the Rachels college payment."

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"But you said you were taking a loan from a bank?"

"I lied." he sighed again.

"Apparently, my finances were not good enough to make me trustable in banks' evaluations. So, I went to that loan shark. He offered a reasonable rate and since you offered help in payment I thought there won't be any problem. I couldn't be more wrong."

I was fighting with all my urges not to yell or cry. He could have asked me to take the loan. Could have consulted me before doing this. But it was not the time for what ifs, it was time for solutions. So I kept my calm with a huge internal war and talked again,

"And why are they bothering you, have you skipped any payment?"

"No. But they are dangerous guys. And they are not willing to respect the terms that I have agreed with the loan shark. I won't be surprised if one day they come to my house and demand all the payment at once. These are dangerous guys and I am scared if they can harm my family." His voice wobbled at the end of the sentence and he burst into tears.

I hugged him and rubbed his back. He cried silently onto my shoulder. My father, my strong never wavering father, my anchor to the earth and my tether of safety was crumbling into pieces. But this was not only about me. This was about our entire family. We should get rid of these guys and make this happen as soon as possible.

when his sobs lessened and he lifted his head from my shoulder I asked

"How much do you owe them dad?"

"300K"

I felt rising heat from my neck to my face. That was too much.

"And what are the payment conditions?"

"6K per month for four years."

"Okay daddy. Don't panic." Actually I was talking to myself because I was panicking.

"We will pay it as we agreed, I will send you 4K per month and you will add 2K and pay every month. Don't be late or don't skip any payment okay? Meanwhile I will search for a way to take ourselves out of this deal." "Okay." he said solemnly.

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"I am sorry Alice, I caused you a lot of trouble. A father should protect his children, not the other way around."

"Don't worry daddy. We will get out of this together."

"Thank you honey." He hugged me again and I hugged him back. We stayed there a little while more under the oak tree and let this reality sink in. We were in a huge debt with the mafia now and that was our new reality.

***

Next day, when I was turning back to New York, I was in a huge debt and I recognized that I needed my work more than I needed so far. So if it meant to lick Mr. Alonzo's ass or bear all the nonsense he threw on my face, I would gladly accept it. My family's prosperity was at stake and I would do whatever I needed to to protect them.

As if he heard what I was thinking, my cell phone rang.

"An emergency has occurred, you need to join me for a black tie event this evening." Mr. Alonzo's cold voice filled my ear and sent shivers down on my spine like an ice shower.

"But sir..."

"What? Are you against working on Sundays Ms. Wonderful? If so, I can find another assistant who is willing to work under these circumstances."

Fuck my life. The day I became needy for this job, my boss started threatening me with it.

"No, I was just gonna say that I am on my way from Jersey to New York, and there won't be enough time left for me to find a suitable dress for your event. So maybe, you could consider to find someone-"

He shut me up abruptly in the middle of the sentence.

"No I need you! I will send you a dress."

"But you don't even know my size..."

"Biiiiiiiiiiiip..."

He hung up on my face. Okay he was acting perfectly himself today. No need to worry. But a black tie event? That was something I should be worried about.