Where I Belong

Watching the color drain from his face and his adams apple bob as he swallowed I knew he wasn't expecting that.

"What did you just call me?" He sneered his eyes blazing.

"You heard me" I snapped knowing fine well he did. This wasn't the time or the place but I couldn't stop the words from falling out my mouth. Everything had been a lie well most of it. Why did he feel the need to keep his name from me? Keep that he had an older brother from me. What else was he hiding?

"My name is Blaze, whoever the fuck told you differently is crazy. Now get on the fucking bike. I've got more important things to do" Deciding that was the end of the conversation he stormed of in the direction of his bike. Once he parked the bike I was off before he could cut the engine. Shoving his helmet at him I about turned and ran into the hospital. Looking up and down I caught sight of my mom sitting in the waiting room. "Ava where the hell have you been? I've been calling you all night?" Rising from her seat she pulled me into a hug. "We thought.. when we couldn't get a hold of you we thought they had got you" She cried. Pulling back slightly I wiped away her tears "I'm sorry I scared you. My phone ran out of battery" I lied "Where's dad?".

Shaking her head she took a hold of my hand as we began walking. Where we we going? Turning the corner my breath caught in my throat at the sight infront of my. My dad, the toughest, strongest man I know was hunched over, elbows on his knees as his head lay in his hands.

"He w-wont even talk to me" She cried "Tommy is his best friend Ava, they have been since they were kids. I can't get through to him A. I need him to be strong before he does something stupid" Breaking into a sob I gripped her hand tighter. If he wouldn't talk to my mom what chance have I got?

"Go to the front end and ask for Ally. She'll give you something to help calm you down. Please don't get stressed mom, think about the baby" Kissing her fore head I wiped away her tears one more time before approaching my dad. Not saying anything I took a seat beside him. What could I say? I didn't even know if Tommy was stable. Didn't know what his injuries were.

"Dad he'll pull through this. He's strong" I croaked watching as he pulled his head up to look at me.

"What if he doesn't Ava?" He whispered a lone tear sliding down his cheek. I had never seen a man cry before let alone my own dad. Seeing him in this state made my heart hurt. My dad was the one that kept things together and now here he was falling apart infront of me. Gripping a hold of his hand I wiped away my own tears. "They'll do everything they can to save him dad. Please go and talk to mom she's worried about you".

"I've knew Tommy since I was 6 years old. Hated the fucker. Always thought he was better than me" He laughed "I've never had anyone more trusting and loyal. I can't lose him, he can't die".

I didn't know what else to say. "I'm going to go find out his status. Please go and see mom" I said standing "She's really worried incase you'll do something stupid".

Catching sight of Ally leaving the operating room I moved quickly and followed her into the suite bathroom.

"Ava are you alright?" She gushed pulling me into a hug. "Cage called me last night when everything happened, wanted to know if I had seen or heard from you". Taking off her overalls she repeatedly washed her hands. "How bad is he?" I asked watching her eyes down cast to the floor. That was all I needed to know to know things weren't good.

"I don't know if he'll make it through the night. Gun shot wound to the head, chest and two in the back. We performed surgery straight away and managed to remove the bullets. The bleeding has stopped in the brain but he's on 24 hour watch in case of swelling".

Poor Tommy

"How's everyone holding up?" She asked holding the door open for us to go through. Shaking my head I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth "They're falling apart" I croaked "If Tommy doesn't pull through this there's going to be bodies everywhere".

"How are you holding up?" She asked

Sliding down the wall I was leaning on I couldn't stop the tears "It's never going to stop Ally. If it wasn't Tommy it would have been someone else. Maybe next time it'll be me" I sobbed

"Hey" she whispered sitting down beside me "Everything will be alright, Tommy will pull through this. We just need to think positive". Wrapping her arm around me she hugged me closer to her.

Once the flood gates had opened I couldn't seem to stop them. All the anger, all the hurt that I had built up inside had seeped it's way through. "Ava what's really going on?" She asked pulling back so she could look at me. Wiping away my tears I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I just-.."

"What's the update?"

Hearing his voice made me want to cry more. Why did he have to hurt me? I didn't do anything to him. I didn't deserve to feel like a cheap biker whore. Turning my head I kept my focus on the floor.

"Nothings changed since the last time you asked Blaze. I'll keep you updated if something does". Ally replied pushing herself to her feet. "I'll give you two a minute". No don't leave me with him.

I didn't want to be alone with him. I didn't want to speak to him, I wanted to be as far away from him as possible but I couldn't move. Didn't have the energy to get to my feet. I felt drained and I had only been here for half an hour. "How you holding up?" He asked taking a step towards me only to stop when I held my hand up. "I've told you time and time again to stay away from me. I'm not going to argue with you but please just listen to me and leave me alone". "I'm not going to leave you on your own when your upset" He snapped

Laughing sarcastically I wiped at my now sore eyes. His mood changes more times than the weather does. Deciding not to argue I got to my feet. "Just because you-.."

"Blaze, baby I just heard about Tommy. Are you alright?".

Great just fucking great. Feeling my eyes fall into slits I watched as slutty pants skipped her way over slipping her arms around his waist. Blaze never once took his eyes off mine. Shaking my head I rolled my eyes before side stepping around them.

"Get the fuck off me Kelsey" I heard him growl.

Once in the comfort of my office I fished my out my phone from the drawer. 15 missed calls, 7 voice mails and 22 texts. Holy shitballs. Taking out the card from my pocket I added Nate to my contact list. Opening up a new message my fingers hovered over the letters.

'I should have took your offer'

Hitting send I slide it into the front pocket of my jeans. If I had decided to go with Nate I wouldn't know anything about what happened. Why did being with him right now sound good? Having nothing to worry about having no guilt. Why did I feel guilty? I couldn't have stopped Tommy from being shot. Feeling the vibrations from my pocket I felt the butterflies flutter in my stomach.

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'Shitty day? :) I'm just back from the gym. Ready to take a dip in the pool ;)'

'I hate you right now :("

Chucking my phone onto my desk I lay back in my chair and closed my eyes. What would my life had been like if I hadn't wanted to meet my dad? It wouldn't be as bloody complicated as it is right now that's for sure. My mom wouldn't be pregnant and I would never have met Blaze. But then you wouldn't have met Nate!! But I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder every five minutes.

Hearing a knock at the door brought me out of my thoughts. "I am so bloody tired" Ally sighed sitting on the chair opposite me. "Now I know how you feel when you do those long ass shifts".

"Hm how's it been?" I asked noticing the dark circles under her eyes. Shrugging her shoulder she lay back in the chair "Same old oh Mr Jenkins is asking for you" She smiled "Seems he's took a liking to you".

Nodding my head I smiled. Mr Jenkins was about the only nice old person in here. "My offer still stands" Ally piped up "About staying with me".

With everything going on I doubt I'd be able to leave the clubhouse let alone move out. I'm sure there are other room available. I sure as hell wasn't staying in his. And I wanted to keep Nate quiet until all of this had blown over.

"I think it's best I stay with my mom just now. She's all over the place and I'm worried about the baby. Her stressing is doing her no favours".

"About that I had a look today and the baby is fine. I thought I'd best check just in case. It won't be long until the little ones here" she smiled.

"Yeah growing up in this" I snorted "What a life that child's going to have".

Watching her smiled fall "You grew up in that life Ava and you turned out just fine".

"Correction I didn't grow up there. I grew up in Cali. God knows what I would have turned out like if I grew up here. Probably wouldn't have the qualifications I have today. That clubhouse is no place for a child to grow up".