Where I Belong

I tossed and turned most of the night deciding at 4 am to get up and get some coffee. There was no point being in bed if I couldn't sleep. Picking up my phone from the kitchen table I turned it on and made my way into the livingroom. Getting comfortable it started ringing in my hand.

"It's 4 O'clock in the morning why the hell are you calling me?" I asked having no idea why I answered him.

"Why are you up?" He slurred. Great he was drunk just what I needed.

"You need to hang up the phone right now and go to sleep, you're drunk Blaze" Rolling my eyes I sighed wishing I hadn't picked up the phone. "Let me in Ava".

Getting up from the sofa I went to the window and peeked out the blind. There he was sitting on my porch a bottle of Jack in his hand. Had he been out there all night? "Go home Blaze, you're drunk". I whispered not being able to take my eyes of him. What gives him the right to sit out there and get drunk? Is he expecting me to feel sorry for him? That wasn't happening.

"I'm not leaving until you- until you let me in" He hiccuped. Hanging up the phone I put it in my pyjamma pocket and walked towards the door. Would I regret letting him in? I couldn't just leave him out there it was freezing at this time in the morning. Turning the lock I pulled open the door and went back to the sofa. "You can sleep it off here but do not come near me" I said watching as he staggered through my front door and fell onto the single chair.

I couldn't sit here with him. I couldn't stand to be near him because I knew what ever excuse he'll come up with he'll find some way of making me believe him. He hurt me, he said he wanted to be with me but then he goes and dips it some where else. If he really wanted me he would have waited until I was ready like he said he would.

"You're still mine Ava" he smirked making my head snap up and my eyes to fall on his shut ones. "You'll always be mine darlin'." Laughing to himself he smacked his hand off the arm of the chair and opened his eyes "You'll always belong to me Ava, even you know that. She sucked my dick I did"-..

"I slept with Cage" I lied he hurt me and I know it's pathetic but I wanted to hurt him. "He took me out and I gave him my-"..

"Shut up" He roared standing from where he was sitting, he didn't look drunk anymore infact he looked completly sober. "He took my vir-"..

"I said shut the fuck up" He roared storming towards me and grabbing my face in his hand. "You fucking bitch, you fucking little bitch. You slept with that asshole Ava?".

Feeling the tears fall from my eyes I pushed his hand off me "Its not nice is it?" I cried standing from where I was sitting. "Huh" I snapped pushing on his chest "You fucking hurt me Blaze" Hitting his chest again I started pacing the room. How does he get to get mad at me but he expects me to be all smiles after finding out about him and that girl. I was done this time. I couldn't take it anymore, I was tired and fed up. I didn't want to argue or fight with him anymore. "I gave us a chance and you went behind my back. Even if you didn't sleep with her you still did something. You can sleep here tonight but I want you gone before I have to go to work" Not giving him another look I headed for the stairs. "I'm done" I whispered to myself not realising Blaze had heard.

"You must be Dr Mendez?" A guy around my age smiled standing with his hand out waiting for me to shake. His smile was contagous. Taking his hand in mine I shook it gently before letting it go "Yes and am I right to call you Dr Amaro?" I asked the smile not leaving my face.

Dr Amaro was hot.

"You are correct. Now I have all your paper work in my office, I was hoping today we could maybe just go over everything and then I'll give you a tour. Introduce you to some of the staff you'll be working with and then you can jump right in tomorrow. How does that sound?".

Anything for you Mr sexy eyes.

"Sounds perfect" I said

"Dr Bradley gave you some recomendation" He smiled sitting behind his desk "I understand you graduated at a young age?" He asked looking over what I presumed to be my file infront of him.

"I did but it was hard getting to where I am now. I worked my butt off but I wouldn't have it any other way. What can I say I love my job" I smiled not being able to take my eyes of his. Such beautiful eyes.

"Glad to hear it. Now I'm sure you are fantastic at what you do so I'm not going to sit here and bore you by going over things you'll know off by heart. I only have one rule here and every new start has to obey by it" He said giving me a serious look making the smile drop from my face. "You have to let me take you out tonight for a drink and no I'm not just asking because you're a very beautiful girl". He smirked putting my file into his drawers.

I could do that. What harm will it cause? I'm only have a drink with another member of staff.

"It's just a welcome to the crazy kind of drink" He said knocking me out of my thoughts "A few other members of staff will be there and it'll give you a chance to meet some of them".

"Sounds great. Where will I meet you guys?" I asked just as the door was pushed open "Sorry to interupt Doctor but we have an emergency" A young stoot girl said giving me a wide grin "I'll meet you properly tonight Dr Mendez, Josh we have to go".

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"See you tonight Ava. 7. 30pm the black widow. I am really sorry about this but you know what it's like" He grinned standing up and shaking my hand "We'll have a better chat tonight" Letting go of my hand he sped out the door and down the hall way.

I think I was going to like it here and I hadn't even started yet, well not properly. Grabbing my bag I pulled out my phone and car keys and headed throughout the hospital to the main door. Checking my phone I frowned when I saw a text from Blaze.

'Thanks for last night sweets. We need to talk'

'We don't' Hitting send I put my phone away and made my way to my car. We didn't need to talk about anything, we were done. Theres was nothing for us to talk about. We had decided to give us a chance and he ruined it before we even started. We could have had something good but I guess I'll never know now.

Hitting the unlock button I jumped in my car and made my way to the clubhouse. I was hoping and praying Blaze wasn't there. I didn't want to face him at the moment. Signalling right at the traffic I noticed the black harley 2 cars behind me. Ignoring it I put my foot on the gas and didn't stop until I was turning into the clubhouse. Why couldn't he take the hint and leave me alone? I didn't want to talk.

"We need to talk" He muttered parking his bike and taking his helmet off.

"We don't" I replied smoothing out my skirt and shutting the door behind me. "I said we need to talk" He growled grabbing onto my arm as I tried to walk past him. Pulling my arm out of his grip I glared at him "There's nothing to talk about" I snapped catching the attention of Jared and Hawk who were out front working on there bikes.

"You're hot as fuck when your angry" He smirked

"Well I must be smokin' because I'm fucking furious" I growled walking away from him and into the clubhouse. Why did I have to say that? I should have just ignored him thats one thing I know he hates. Now he'll know I'm bothered by what he did. "Tim wheres my dad?" I called noticing for once there was only a few strays hanging around the bar, then again it was only noon. "You're mom dragged him baby shopping" He laughed placing the clean glass back on the rack. Baby shopping? God she sure has changed him

"Everyone out"

Rolling my eyes I felt my shoulders sag. Why wouldn't he give up? Watching them all finish there drinks they walked out one by one. Coping everyone else his voice stopped me "Not you darlin'".

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"You did say everyone" I smiled sweetly at him. "I told you there was nothing to talk about. Why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked gritting my teeth together. I really wanted to slap him, hard. "There is always something to talk about and you did come here" He smirked leaning his elbows against the bar. Pursing my lips together I turned to face him. "I came here to talk to my mom. I didn't come here for you." Sighing I ran a hand over my face "Stop with the bullshit Blaze and listen. Whatever we had or didn't have I'm done with. You hurt me and I guess deep down I knew you would because lets face its in your nature. You can't keep it in your pants for five minutes. Once a biker always a biker and I don't blame you. It's my own fault for falling for you when I knew what I was getting into. I'm asking for one simple thing and that for you to just stop. Stop with the texts, stop following me around and please stop thinking you own me. Now if you excuse me I have somewhere I need to be".

After saying what I did I felt like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I really didn't blame him I just thought he might have been different. He never made me feel like he was just after sex, he never made me feel uncomfortable. He made me feel safe and I was grateful for that.

"I really am sorry sweets"

"Like I said I don't blame you".

Glancing at my reflection I was in two minds whether to change what I was wearing to something else. Soothing my hands over my black dress I bit my bottom lip. Was it to slutty? It did hug my figure but it didn't reveal more than it should but it did make my boobs look amazing. Stepping into my black wedged shoes I looked back into the mirror. My hair was placed over my left shoulder in soft curls and my make-up was light.

"Whatever you're thinking get it out of you're head. You look beautiful sweets".

Looking at him through the mirror I ignored the butterflys that burst in my stomach. How could he look that good in jeans and his cut? "I wasn't thinking anything" I said clearing my throat and picking up my clutch bag of the bed. It was only 7 so I still had plenty of time before I had to go. Well this was awkward, it had never been awkward between us before but he was just standing there not saying a word.

"I- I have to go" I whispered avoiding his eyes. I had never seen him like this before, he never showed emotion or his feelings, to me he looked broken. He was the strongest man I knew apart from my dad. I really didn't blame him for what he did, I couldnt. I didn't want him to be like this because of me but I also wasn't going to set myself up again to be knocked back down.

"Of course you do" He smiled moving slightly so I could get by but not without having to touch him. Being so close to him I took a deep breath inhaling his aftershave. Closing my eyes my teeth sunk into my bottom lip. "Don't" I croaked as his fingers trailed up and down my bare arm causing a shiver to run through my body.

"I really am sorry babe. It wasn't sup-"