Where I Belong

He was gone.....

I knew from the minute I opened my eyes he had left me. Curling into a ball the silent tears streamed down my face. If he loved me as much as he said he did then why did he leave? I'm protecting you...

His words were circling my mind. It hurt so much because this time I knew he meant it. He wasn't coming back, I wasn't going to see him again. Hearing the vibration I grabbed my phone thinking it would be him but my heart sank when my dads name flashed across the screen. Ignoring it I turned my phone off and crawled back into bed.

Everyone would know he had left. Hours had passed and I had done nothing but stare at the ceiling in my bedroom. It wasn't until the rattle at my front door became louder and louder that I decided to drag my ass out of bed and see who the hell it was.

"What?" I yelled pulling the door open. Moving to the side I let him in. Closing the door behind me I wasn't in the mood to see anyone today. "Are you just going to stand there and stare at me?" Putting some water in the kettle I grabbed two mugs.

"Do you know?" Was his first question.

"Don't care" Was my response. Tough act was the only way I could see my self getting through this.

"Ava" He sighed

"He left me Jared and for that reason he can go fuck himself". Pouring the water into the cups I passed one to him. "Why are you here?".

"Just checking in" He shrugged taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well you don't have to do that anymore. You can stay and finish your coffee then show yourself out. I'm going back to bed".

"Ava don't do this don't shut everyone out because he's not here".

Stopping at his words I felt my shoulders sag. Jared was like my brother but right now I couldn't face anyone especially someone that reminded me so much of Blaze. "Please just leave me alone I don't want to see anyone and please tell my dad the same". Not giving him a chance to reply I headed back to my bedroom.

1 month later...

I was rushed off my feet. Collapsing into the sofa in my office I threw my arm over my eyes. The day he left was the day my world fell apart. Not once did he try to contact me and the number I had for him was no longer in use. I threw myself back into work after two weeks of sulking and avoiding every one and everything.

I still hadn't built up the courage to go back to the clubhouse, still couldn't face everyone there. I had spoke to my mom and that was it.

My mind would always wander to him. He was all I could think about. Where was he? Was he alive? I knew I needed to try and move on but truth be told I didn't want to. Our relationship at times was poison but he was my guy, the only guy I ever loved the one I wanted to be with and now he wasn't mine anymore he was just gone. I was putting on a brave face whenever I was around anyone. No one had to know that I cried myself to sleep most nights heck that was when I finally managed to sleep. For some reason the nightmares had come back. I was waking up screaming and in a puddle of my own sweat.

The knock on my office door caused a sigh to slip past my lips. I was never in the mood for company these days, I barely held a conversation more than I need too. Sitting up I moved to behind my desk and pulled some files in front of me. "Come in" I called not bothering to look up from the file I wasn't interested in. Placed in front of me was a Starbucks cup.

Jared!!

"Ava" He grunted taking a seat in front of me.

Sighing I took the coffee and sat back in my chair. "What are you doing here Jared?" I had disconnected from everyone. My relationship with Jared wasn't the same anymore and yes that was my fault. At this point in my life I wasn't interested in anything but getting myself back on my feet.

"I haven't seen or heard from you in a month and that's all you have to say to me?" He asked and instantly I felt the guilt in the pit of my stomach. "I never pegged you for someone who would turn their back on family". Now he had my attention.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I'm talking about Ava" He snapped getting to his feet. "Fuck knows why he left because he's just as miserable and ruthless as ever".

"You've spoke with him?" I whispered not caring about anything else he said.

"He ain't coming back darling and it's time you start to realise that-"...

"Don't you think I know that?" I yelled "Don't you think I know that I've got to get over him and move on?". Sighing I placed my head in my hands "He ruined me Jared, broke my heart into a millions pieces but that doesn't matter right because I need to get over him" Pushing myself to my feet I grabbed my coffee and walked around my desk. "I need to get back to work see you around". But of course he wasn't finished with me yet.

"He hasn't moved on Ava just because he is not here doesn't mean you aren't his and until he returns I'll be looking after you".

"Yes it does Jared because I can't have a relationship with someone who isn't here and I don't need you or anyone else from the club to look after me". Moving back towards my chair I sunk into it. I didn't want him here, I didn't want to hear the words 'when he returns' because if he ever does it won't be for me.

"You're his old lady".....

"Was" I interrupted "I'm not his anything anymore Jared and in case you forgot he left me".

"He left to protect you Ava but mark my words sweetheart he will come back for you when the time is right".

Running my hands over my face I grit my teeth. He couldn't just come back and think we'll be able to pick everything back up. "How do you know he'll come back? You just said he's gone and I need to realise that. I don't want him to come back I hate him"

"You don't mean that" He snapped cutting me off

No I didn't mean it but if I said it over and over again I might start to believe it.

"I do so the next time you speak to him you tell him I never want to see him again" Getting to my feet I put the empty coffee cup in the bin under my desk "I have to get back to work I'll see you around" This time I did leave.

Rounding the corner I stopped suddenly when I noticed two detectives waiting at the front desk. One thing I learned from my time at the club was knowing how to pick out an under-covered cop. One was chatting with our receptionist Shelly and the other was standing observing his surroundings. It wasn't until Shelly pointed her finger to me that my heart started hammering in my chest. Could imagine how I felt when they both started walking towards me. "Miss Mendez is there somewhere quiet we could chat?"

"Yes of course" I smiled trying to keep my cool. I had no idea why they wanted to speak with me. Taking them to the staff room I closed the door behind us.

"Can I ask what this is about?" Taking a seat I held the clipboard tightly to my chest. I was freaking out inside, cops were never a good sign.

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"We just have some questions Miss Mendez, it's routine that we speak with everyone that may know something".

Now I was confused.

"Know something about what?" I asked my gut telling me something bad had happened or something bad was coming.

"Do you know the whereabouts of Sean Thomas?" The older one asked.

It was so weird hearing someone say his proper name out loud. No one ever calls him Sean. My heart hurt at even the thought of him never mind someone wanting to speak about him.

"I don't I'm sorry" I said as both of them looked at each other before the older one continued.

"Miss Mendez were are led to believe you are in a relationship with the person in question yet you have no idea where he is?"

Okay what the hell was happening here?!

"I'm sorry but what is this all about? I haven't seen or heard from him in over a month". I didn't have a good feeling about this. He had done something bad I could feel it in my bones. "We have 2 dead bodies on our hands Miss Mendez and we believe Sean has something to do with it". This was the other one talking.

2 dead bodies!!!!

"Why do you think he has something to do with it?" Glaring at both of them I put my clipboard down and crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn't help but defend him, could say it was in my blood. "What does the B stand for on your ring finger?"