Where I Belong

I never thought it would have come out like this. I didn't want this conversation with my dad to be like this but something inside cracked.

"I have nothing. They not only physically scarred me but mentally and I don't know how to get past it" I croaked lifting my head to see he had dropped to his knees beside me. Pulling me to him he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I had no idea how long we both sat there. Could have been hours could have been minutes but no words were passed between us. Hearing the click of his lighter I lifted my hand taking the cigarette he was offering.

"I came here when I got out of jail. I had nothing left Ava. Sure I had the club but I didn't have you, didn't have your mom".

"You could have came looking. Surely a man with your power knew where we were" I knew what we were getting into was a touchy subject but for once I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know why mom left him, I wanted to know why he didn't come for us when he got out.

"Course I knew where you were" He snapped "Had eyes on you all the time but you already know that. Ava darling it wasn't about coming for you and bringing you back home" Sighing he took a long draw of his smoke.

"Then what was it about? I know mom would never have stopped you heck she was back a day and fell straight back in love with you"

"You were settled if I came and took you back home you would have hated me, hated me more than you already do".

Ignoring his hate comment because I don't hate him I could never hate him not deep down. I knew my dad loved me regardless of the way he shows it.

"I thought you didn't want me. Do you know how many times I would cry myself to sleep thinking I was a mistake or the amount of times I was teased because my dad wasn't around". Laughing I wiped at my nose "Thinking back to my high school and college days it now makes sense. I never noticed it back then but I remember now. The bikes I could always hear but never see, never being asked out to the dance. I always thought it was because I was weird but now it's because you had eyes on me everywhere. I may not have noticed but other people did".

"You were never a mistake Ava and yeah I maybe should have pulled your ass back here back then but at the time that wasn't the right move and your mom would have murdered me" Chuckling he squeezed my knee "Our relationship hasn't always been the best sweetheart and there are things I should have done that I didn't but you needed to have a childhood, you needed to go to school, you needed the chance to grow up and darling you did. You grew up into a smart, beautiful woman and trust me it wouldn't have went that way if you had come back here".

"I don't hate you" I sighed giving him a small smile "I may have said it a few times but please don't think I mean it and yeah our relationship hasn't been the best but you're still my dad. Now can we go I could murder a beer right now". "You're my kid alright" He laughed pulling me to my feet.

"You sure you don't want to come back to the clubhouse? Blaze is still on a run and I'm sure your mom would love to see you" My dad said as I passed him my helmet.

Today had been exhausting and mentally draining. There is no way I could handle my mom and dad all in the one day.

"I have some stuff to take care of but I'll drop by tomorrow maybe even stay for dinner" I grinned. I couldn't remember the last time we all ate together. Every time the club got together it was either a success or someone ended up in the hospital.

"Could come have a drink with your old man" He smiled. I knew what he was doing but it wasn't working. He didn't want to leave me on my own but I knew he had people watching me.

"I'm sure the guys you have watching me will let you know if I'm in any danger. I'll be fine dad I'll call you later" Leaning in I kissed his cheek and hugged him.

"You call if you need me. Stay safe baby".

Closing the front door behind me I collapsed into my sofa. I hadn't heard from Blaze all day which wasn't necessarily a bad thing but it made my insides twist because when I don't hear from him I always assume the worst. Knowing he was on a run didn't settle me any less.

He'll be fine he always is...

Keeping myself busy I turned on some music and went about cleaning my house. Not that it was messy but I hardly had the time with working the hours that I do to give it a little tlc.

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Pouring myself a glass of wine I collapsed into my sofa not being able to stop myself from grinning. I had cleaned everything and everywhere. My house was gleaming from top to bottom. Who would have thought housework could take you mind off a lot of stuff.

Hearing my phone bleep I pulled it from my jean pocket opening up the message.

Miss you darlin' make sure you keep the bed warm. It's going to be a long night....

Night?! It wasn't even dinner time. Sighing I closed the message and slipped my phone back into my pocket. Going into the kitchen I turned the oven off and plated the chicken and potatoes. Covering it I placed it into the microwave. At least if he comes home late and he's hungry it's there.

These past few days I had wanted nothing but to be alone and now that I am I realise being on my own isn't good. Grabbing my keys from the counter top I jumped in my car no idea where I was going until I pulled up in front of the building. Maybe my dad was right maybe it will help me deal with what I've got going on. I had no idea how long I sat there for but it wasn't until I seen Theo walking towards my car that I hesitated. Hitting the lock button I never took my eyes off his until he was motioning for me to roll down my window.

"You coming in or are you going to sit there on your ass for another half hour?"

Talk about being blunt...

"I'm- Im not sure" I stuttered curing myself inside for doing so.

"Baby steps Ava. Come inside and I'll show you around properly. How does that sound?"

"I don't see how this can help" I was backtracking I knew I was but deep down I was scared. Not about going in and letting it out but more of how I was going to feel after.

"Trust me it'll help. When you decide to come in come and find me". Turning on his heel he made his way back inside.

The longer I sat the more I was thinking about turning my car around and high tailing it out of here. With my hand placed on the door I took a deep breath before jumping out locking it behind me.

I had nothing to lose.

Hearing the music as I pushed open the door my eyes landing on the guy in the ring. I didn't know there would be anyone else in here. With my feet glued to the floor I looked around hoping to find Theo. "Lost sweetheart?".

When did the music stop? And when did this guy leave the ring?

"Is Theo about?" I asked my teeth sinking into my bottom lip. I had no idea why I was acting so nervous.

"Might be" He smirked wiping the sweat from his forehead "Depends whose asking for him".

Sighing I was just about to leave when Theo appeared. "Don't be a jackass I brought you up better than that. This here is Ava and she's going to be coming here for as long as she needs and you'll play nice or I'll kick your ass. Understand?" Theo growled as he began walking toward me.

Holding his hands up he gave Theo a nod "Sorry dad was only messing. I'm Anthony but you can call me Tony and I'm not a jackass, see you around Ava".

"It's okay" I said giving him a half smile

"Tony stay here for a bit I might need your help with little Ava here. That okay with you?" Theo asked.

"I guess" I shrugged walking a little closer.