Where I Belong

"I'm fine" I lied. I knew he was behind me, always knew when he was near. For once in our relationship he listened. I knew he was finding this hard, I knew it was eating him up inside because there was nothing he could do or say that would make it better. Feeling the blanket being draped over my shoulders I bit my lip to stop the sob escaping.

"You don't have to pretend you're okay around me. I know you're not" He whispered. Just then the sob that I so desperately wanted to hold in escaped.

"Baby"

"You- you won't want me anymore" I cried burying my head between my knees. "They, Blaze-"... Before another word left my mouth he had somehow managed to pull me in to his arms. No matter how much I fought him he wasn't letting go. "I'll always want you sweetheart. You're mine" He cried as he held me tightly against him. "I'm going to promise you this. I'll get them, all of them even if it kills me" He sobbed.

Seeing him cry made me worse. I had never experienced Blaze emotional. He was always so closed off, always the hard man but the moment the sob broke through his lips I knew he was true to his word.

Curled up on the sofa with my head against Blazes chest I listened to his steady heartbeat. I didn't get much sleep and when I did I woke screaming, punching and kicking.

Feeling his arms tighten around me I knew he was awake. We hadn't really spoke much both not knowing what to say. Blaze I think I could handle but having to sit my dad down and tell him that I was kidnapped, beaten and raped by members of a rival MC made me sick to my stomach. I knew he would blame himself, my dad one of the most feared MC presidents around, no one dared mess with what was his but they did.

"Baby" He whispered

"I'm okay" I knew I couldn't lie to Blaze, knew he'd see straight through it but I had to toughen up. No matter how much I wanted to shut myself off, hide away from the world I couldn't let them think that they had won. It was time for me to take my place. Blaze would one day be president and I would be by his side. I needed to come to terms with what they did, adapt to their lifestyle. I was Francis 'Franko' Mendez' daughter and it was time I started acting like it.

"You want coffee?" I asked pushing the blanket off my legs. I didn't want him to fuss over me. I had to try and get everything back to normal.

"Ava.." he sighed running a hand over his face. He looked exhausted and I knew it was because he was watching me all night, didn't sleep much at all.

"Don't fuss okay" Getting to my feet I made my way to the kitchen turning the kettle on. I knew he was struggling with what had happened. I was struggling but I didn't want to show how much. I needed to be strong if not for me then for them.

"You can't just pretend it didn't happen".

I froze. Did he think that's what I was trying to do? Pretend? Fixing 2 cups of coffee I passed him one and took mine to the back door." Please Blaze I don't want to argue with you". Taking a seat on the steps I watched the sun as it began to rise.

"You can't push me away either because I'm going fucking no where. So please Ava don't do it. Shout at me, hit me, do whatever you want but don't shut me out".

Blinking repeatedly so my tears wouldn't fall I held my mug tight. I couldn't cry anymore, I couldn't show how much I was broken. I also knew he was right. I didn't want to push him away because fuck, I knew I needed him more than anything right now. Placing my mug on the ground I got to my feet. He was mine just as much as I was his. He had me in his arms before I could turn around. "Please baby don't shut me out" He whispered holding me tightly against him. "I promised you I'll get them and trust me Ava they will pay".

"I know" Blaze was my person, he was the one I wanted to grow old with. Our relationship wasn't all hearts and flowers but whose was? We had been through hell but we came out shining at the other end. I guess when you have the love that we have you could get through anything and I knew we'd get through this. "I love you Blaze I just hope you don't see me differently now" I had to say it. I didn't want people to treat me different but I knew they would. Even if they didn't mean to they can't help it.

"You're still my old lady Ava, still the sexy as fuck girl I've been chasing for years" He chuckled his hand rubbing circles on my back "I'm the luckiest guy ever babe and nothing is going to change I can promise you that". Slapping my ass he grinned at me before pecking my nose "We have to tell your dad and we have to do it today".

My stomach dropped at the thought of it. I had no idea on how he was going to react. "I'll be with you every step of the way, you aren't alone sweets we are all here for you. I didn't want to tell you this but". Rubbing the back of his neck he handed me a smoke.

"Tell me what?" I asked

"Jareds been out all night".... Taking a draw of my smoke I waited for him to continue. "He has one of them that... hurt you and another member".

My heart started hammering in my chest. "Good I hope he fucks them up" I wasn't a violent person but for what they did to me they deserved nothing but death. "He told me he's waiting on orders" he finished causing me to frown. Orders?

"You have the power sweetheart it's your call". I knew this was the reason he didn't want to tell me. He thought I wouldn't be able to handle it and I didn't blame him for that. I was the one that helped people, saved people everyday that was my life. My job was to help people.

"Do what you need to do" I whispered but he shook his head.

"You're not understanding what I'm saying baby. Jared is a mean motherfucker, he kills for fun doesn't give a fuck about anyone. He's ruthless Ava but he's took a shine to you, he looks at you like a little sister. When I was in the hospital he looked out for you, he was the one that was there for you when I couldn't be and I believe a friendship grew. When Jared makes a promise he keeps it. You have to be the one to give the order sweetheart, he's waiting on your word". I didn't know what to say. I had never been in the situation where I had to decide if a man got to live or die. My job was different. But this man didn't deserve to live not after playing a part in what they did to me. Hearing vibrations he picked up his phone from the table.

"Speak of the devil" Answering it he put it on loudspeaker so I could hear.

"Jared"...

"VP I've already took off 4 fingers don't know how much longer I can wait to kill the fucker. Temptations killing me man".

Jared really was ruthless....

"Thinking about cutting his tongue out next. Fuckers giving me a headache with his screams. Fuck you'd think I was murdering him" He chuckled. "Hows my favourite girl holding up?" He obviously didn't know I could hear every word, probably didn't think Blaze would let me listen in.

"I'm fine Jared" He could tell every time I was lying too. I had no idea how he could be so calm, beable to laugh when he was torturing someone, about to kill them.

"Say the word sweetheart and he's gone. Need a little more time not a problem it'll give me time to cut out his tongue and send it to his president".

I couldn't listen to anymore. I never had a strong stomach and the thought alone made me heeve. I wanted them to pay of course I did but I couldn't give that order, no matter how much I wanted too I couldn't do it. As if Blaze could read my thoughts he turned the loudspeaker off and brought the phone to his ear.

"Cut out his tongue and send it but don't kill him. I'll be the one to put a bullet in his head" Ending the call he gave me the look he always does. The one silently asking if I was okay.

"I'm okay" Giving him a half smile I put my cup in the sink. "I'm going for a shower I won't be long" Standing on my tip toes I kissed his cheek "Thank you".

Slipping his arms around my waist, his face was so close to mine our noses touching "Promise me you won't shut me out" He whispered brushing his nose against mine. "I promise".