SWNOVELS When it Raynes: Chapter 47
“The idiots that brought me to the club told me Angelo was planning on marrying me the moment they dropped me off. Obviously I knew what that meant. If I was married to him there was no chance of getting out without it starting a war.” I take a deep breath to keep my emotions in check. As much as the need to break eats away at me with each moment that passes, this is important, and it’s a good distraction from the pain. “So I switched a ring my dad gave me to my ring finger and told them Rayne and I had been married last night and the paperwork was filed this morning. I couldn’t…” my voice breaks at the words that are about to escape my lips. I clear my throat before continuing. “I couldn’t comprehend a life as his wife, and I wanted to buy myself as much time as I could. I expected them to at least attempt to fact-check what I was telling them, but from what I heard they didn’t even think of it.”
Storm chuckles. “Idiots.”
Doc moves to start disinfecting the cuts on my legs and I squeeze my eyes shut, suppressing the cry that rises in my throat. I don’t know why it’s so important to me that I don’t appear weak in front of the family, like they won’t accept me if I cry in front of them.
“You put yourself in a lot of danger by doing that, sweet girl,” Rayne admonishes.
“I know.” I nod. “It was a spur of the moment decision. I hoped by telling them I was part of the family they would have no choice but to let me go to avoid a war. I had to give myself the best chance of coming home,” I whisper the last few words. The emotions that come with admitting this is my home now are almost overwhelming.
Storm smiles warmly at me. “You did the right thing, Emerson. You bought us time to get you out.”
Wynter hangs over the back of the sofa, her eyes watery with emotion. “For what it’s worth, you’re already a Saint James, regardless of your last name.”
I blink back the tears that threaten. “Thank you.” I reach out to squeeze her hand, barely keeping the emotion at bay. Somehow the pain from what Doc is doing keeps me grounded, keeps me from giving into the temptation to fall apart. “Thank you all for coming for me.”
“We’ve got you,” Snow says from the kitchen. “Can I get you something to eat? A drink maybe?”
“She’s going to want some hard liquor in a minute,” Doc pipes up and my eyes widen as I stare at the handsome man. His eyes are green with flecks of gold, and if I weren’t so addicted to Rayne, I would probably find myself mesmerized by them.
“Vodka, please,” I say quickly.
“Get her some crackers or something too. She’s not drinking on an empty stomach.” Rayne glowers at Doc and me.
I smirk. It’s good to be home.
Rayne carries me from the couch to our bed. I’m not sure who that experience was more painful for, me, the one who needed to be glued back together again, or Rayne, who paced around and fretted the entire time. If I didn’t know better, I would think he had an aversion to blood. But considering his job is to kill people, that can’t be the case.
“How are you feeling, sweet girl?” he asks as he lays me down, his finger brushing the hair from my face gently. It took almost two hours to patch me up, but Doc seems pretty certain the scars that will be left won’t be too noticeable and apart from that I have a concussion we need to keep an eye on, but honestly, I got off easy. It could have been so much worse.
“I’m okay.” I lean into his touch, drawing comfort from his warmth. “Just happy to be home.”
Rayne smiles and strips his sweats quickly before climbing into the bed beside me. I can’t help but stare at his perfection. “I’m happy to have you home.” He wraps his arms around me and gently pulls me against him.
Despite feeling like my entire world is imploding, being held by Rayne settles me. It calms the part of me I thought for sure would be anxious for days, if not weeks.
Rayne is my safe place. He is my home. He is my life.
“I want kids,” I blurt out.
“What?”
“I lied when I said I didn’t want any. I was overwhelmed by all the choices you were taking out of my hands and so I pushed back. I’m sorry,” I whisper, burying my face into the soft pillow.
Rayne chuckles. “Always begging for a punishment.” My body stiffens at the thought of anymore pain at the moment. As much as I love being spanked, which I will never admit to him, I’m not sure my pain receptors could handle anything else at the moment. “Not right now, sweet girl. I’m not a monster.” He presses a gentle kiss to the skin behind my ear and a shiver runs through my whole body. “I need to ask you a question, but I don’t know if I want the answer.”
“Ask,” I whisper.
“Did they touch you?”
I close my eyes and let out a long breath to calm the panic threatening at the edge of my consciousness. “Yes. But it didn’t go very far. They seemed more interested in cutting me for the most part. They said they liked to see me bleed.” I blanch at the memory.
Rayne snarls at the idea, and if I didn’t know he would never hurt me, I would be afraid, but I trust him. I trust him to keep me safe, and I trust him never to hurt me. “I’m going to fucking kill them for touching you.”
I roll carefully onto my side to face him, training my face to mask the pain the move causes before reaching up to run my fingers along his tense jaw. The muscles tic underneath my touch, but he doesn’t pull away, he doesn’t move at all. He just lets me touch him. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m safe. I’m home. Nothing else matters.”
“They deserve to pay for what they did to you, Emerson. They knew you were mine, they knew taking you would start a war, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. They will pay for ever daring to lay a hand on a Saint James woman.”
A smile touches my lips. “Even if I wasn’t technically a Saint James when they took me?”
Rayne rolls me to my back before pressing his hard body into mine with such care it astounds me. He’s huge, so much bigger than me, but he’s always gentle with me. His hand moves to cup my face, holding my eyes with his dark ones. “Sweet girl, you’ve been a Saint James since the moment I laid eyes on you, you just didn’t know it yet.”
I half laugh. The smile that tugs at my lips makes my cheeks hurt. Feeling happy after everything I’ve been through today seems ridiculous, but how can I be anything but happy when the man I love says something like that?
For the first time in my life, I feel at peace. Ever since my mom left when I was a kid, I’ve felt unwanted, like I’m a burden to everyone I let get too close. But I don’t feel like that with Rayne. He makes me feel loved, and wanted, and like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, and that’s right here in his arms.