When Chenille Is Not Enough

Cecily squealed. Bouncing, she hugged her mother, then skipped to Edna and hugged her. Still squealing, she hugged Scott. Together she and Edna danced around the couch and the four cringing aliens.

Susan held up her hands to Bozidar. “Don’t say anything. This will work. Cecily is so grateful I’m letting her go that she’ll watch Edna. Scott will be there, too.”

The high-pitched joyful squealing gave way to a rumbling roar as Gary burst into the living room. He held a furled flag over his head, gripping the staff with both hands. He stopped, spotted Bozidar and swung the staff like a battle axe against marauding Visigoths.

Bozidar’s skin turned as pale as skim milk, and white smoke tinged with a hint of icy blue spurted around him. He trembled, open-mouthed, frozen.

Susan leaped at Gary. She grabbed at the flag staff and yanked it out of Gary’s hands, shouting “Stop! We’ve solved it!”

Gary scanned the wide-eyed faces. “I heard screaming,” he said.

Scott took Bozidar’s elbow and steered him to a chair. “The situation is under control.”

“Really? Great,” Gary said. He faced Susan. “The flag was in the corner. By the door. You put it there after the Fourth of July.” He lowered his head. “So you’re all okay? That’s good. I’ll put the flag back.”

Susan closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry I raised my voice. It was very brave of you to rush in here like that. But we’ve figured out a solution. Put the flag back, and we’ll tell you all about it.”

“Susan, if you have any sense at all you’ll marry that man,” Edna said as Gary left the room. “Who else would rescue you with a four-foot stick wrapped in polyester?”

Gary returned, hands in his pockets. “So, what’s the plan?”

“We’re going into space!” Cecily said, dancing in a small circle. “We’re going into space, we’re going into space.” She whirled to face Bozidar. “And I’m bringing my camera!”

“Who’s going into space?” Gary asked in a voice that sounded like a thirteen year-old sports champ who discovered brochures for math camp on the kitchen table.

“We are!” Edna said. She grabbed Mercon’s upper edge and shook him. “We’re going to see your home!”

“Are Eleanor and Olivia going, too?” Gary asked.

“Oh, no,” Susan said. She patted Cecily and Edna as she passed, then linked her arm through Gary’s. “The little girls are staying with me. Only the big girls are going. And Scott.”

Gary scrunched his face with a tight smile, but relief broke through anyway. “That’s wonderful. I mean, going to space. Congratulations, Edna, Cecily.”

“And Scott,” Edna said.

Gary cocked an eyebrow at Scott, who nodded. “Yes, of course, congratulations. I didn’t know you wanted to be an astronaut, too.”

“I don’t,” Scott said. “But someone has to keep Edna in line.”

“I’m so happy, I’m not even going to punish you for that,” Edna said.

“I thought everything was settled last night,” Gary said. “When did you decide to take a trip to another planet?”

“We were invited,” Edna said. “Space boy’s buddy Marsel is going to make all the arrangements.”

“Marsel?”

“Here I am,” Marsel said.

Gary jumped at the scratchy sound. Edna handed him the black box.

“Marsel from the planet Schtatik. We are acquainted.”

“Oh, right.” Gary replaced the box on the table. He sat on the couch. “So, what happens next?”

“First, we’re going to film a stotlet ceremony,” Susan said, sitting beside him. “We’ll come up with testimony for a show trial back on Bozidar’s planet that will result in clearing his name, restoring the renegades to the clan, and ending any vendetta against us.”

“Don’t forget the artifact!” Marsel shouted.

“I’ve already got an idea for that,” Susan said. “But Marsel, you must tell your elders that Agnes’s granddaughter and great-great granddaughter will represent the family without me. Once they arrive, I’m certain your people will see the wisdom in only sending two.”

Cecily and Edna protested, but Scott cut them off. “Edna, you know she’s right. You fill up a room all by yourself.”

Susan smiled at Scott, then turned to Bozidar. “We’ll film the ceremony today. If Cecily can edit the footage overnight, will that give you enough time to arrange transportation for everyone?”

Cecily stopped her dance in mid-twirl. “I could edit the footage in an afternoon - I can see it in my head already. But your ship . . . Bozidar, there was barely enough room for you. How are you going to fit seven more bodies?”

“The vehicle you saw is my landing pod,” he said. His shoulders relaxed, and the look of doom on his face faded. “Even so, the ship that brought me here is very small. Nor are there sufficient provisions for my clan mates, let alone three humans.”

“No need to worry,” Marsel said. “I have been informed that the elders welcome a visit from the descendants of She Who Found Us. They are preparing to launch a stitch runner even as we speak. However, nourishment for our guests could be an issue. The data we have on human food preferences is limited.”

“We’ll pack a lunch,” Edna said. “What’s a stitch runner?”

“An upgraded version of our deep-space exploration vehicles,” Marsel said.

Bozidar snatched the box. “The details are irrelevant.” He muted the box. “We travel by pleating space in front of the ship. When we arrive, we anchor the ship to the local gravitational constant. When we leave, we reverse the process. We lose a little time with each folding of space, but in your terms it is only days, not lifetimes.”

Cecily folded her arms, hugging her waist. “I hadn’t thought about that. How much time is a little? I mean, if we stay on your planet a month, will we miss a month and a half here?”

“More,” Bozidar said. “It is hard to be exact. But far less than a year.”

Edna pointed to Mercon. “These guys have been here a year. How much have they missed?”

“In your time?” Bozidar unmuted the box. “Marsel, how long have the renegades been gone?”

“Three cycles.”

Bozidar scratched his chin. “That would be two Earth years? Yes, two Earth years.”

Once again, objections rose in Susan’s mouth. If you had let her go to Ireland, you might not have seen her for a year or two, she thought. She closed her eyes, and felt Gary squeezing her hand. “This is the biggest adventure you will ever have,” she heard herself say. “Don’t let it slip away.”

Salia sidled from the group, positioned herself in front of Gary and retracted her legs. The folds of her fabric covering sealed themselves, turning her into a smooth-textured monolith.

The aliens became silent - no rustling, no chirping, no nervous squeaking. Even Marsel stopped speaking, and Bozidar could hardly be seen to breath.

“Is there something I should know?” Susan asked. She pressed her lips together, but a giggle escaped.

“That I’m not allowed to move?” Gary said. “She’s got me boxed in here.” He stretched enough to look over her top at Bozidar. “What’s she doing?”

“She is pledged to you,” he said.

“You said that last night, but what does that mean?”

“It means she will protect you with her life,” Bozidar said. He rapped on the coffee table. “Salia! Extrude your eye stalks and a speaking portal.”

A tiny rip appeared on the side facing Bozidar, as well as two rounded lumps the size of quail eggs.

“You realize you cannot be allowed to remain,” Bozidar continued. “You may believe your actions will bring honor to the clan, but in reality you are merely confusing the humans and causing difficulties for the rest of us.”

“I will serve this one until I crumble to dust,” Salia said. The rip sealed itself, and one eye stalk flattened into nothingness.

Bozidar sighed, but before he could speak Gary interrupted. “Wait a minute. She said she had to serve me. Does that include obeying my orders?”

Bozidar opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. “Marsel, have the rules of voluntary obligation been voted upon?”

“No, but they are under discussion in committee. Let me check.” After a pause, Marsel said, “That committee is on hiatus.”

Bozidar leaned to the side, and motioned Gary to do the same. With Salia no longer blocking their lines of sight, he said, “The wording of the rules of voluntary obligation do not mention alien species, although amendments addressing that issue are under consideration. Until an amendment is ratified, Salia is obliged to obey your orders.”

Gary nodded, straightened, and patted Salia. “Well, then, you can best serve me by becoming Cecily’s body guard.”

“Seriously, Mom, you’ve got to marry this guy when we get back,” Cecily said. “Grandma and I can plan everything during the trip.” Her eyes twinkled and a “gotcha” grin slid across her face.

“I will be her guard as well,” Rupon said. He marched to Salia, extruded arms and lifted her from the floor. He shook her until stubby appendages grew from her bottom. He lowered her, then bowed to Susan. “We two will guard your offspring.”

Susan blinked twice. “Thank you.” She shifted her eyes to Gary and whispered, “I think we should elope.”

Mercon and Dajdar shuffled as a unit in front of Edna. They bowed to her, then to Scott, then to Bozidar. They intertwined their arms and moved to either side of Scott and Edna, spreading fabric like a short wall in front of them.

“Is this their way of saying they’re our bodyguards?” Edna asked.

Bozidar nodded. “It is an ancient custom. Turning oneself into a barrier, to separate those in your care from harm, is a profound symbol of loyalty.”

“Then we need to film this,” Cecily said as she dashed from the room. She paused at the hallway. “No one move. I’ll be right back.”

“What purpose does she imagine will be served?” Bozidar asked.

“You said there had to be a trial,” Scott said. “In our courts, we want to see evidence of remorse from the accused.”

Cecily returned with her camera and circled Edna, Scott, Mercon and Dajdar. “We can re-enact the whole arm-to-wall thing later.” She panned the camera to Salia and Rupon. “Mom, Gary, get in the shot. Gary can point at Salia, then at the camera. I’ll do a voice-over about you telling her to guard me.”

“If you’re going to start directing us, dear, let’s get organized,” Susan said. “While you’re setting up your equipment, I’ll make notes for the ceremony. Mother, make yourself useful and find a thimble in my studio that we can present to Bozidar. Gary, how would you suggest we use the quilt - as a backdrop or a prop?”

“Definitely a prop,” Gary said. “You want to handle it to show it’s real, and Cecily can get some close-ups. Scott, give me a hand.”

“What do you require of me?” Bozidar asked.

“Watch these four,” Edna said. “Stick yourselves in a corner and stay out of the way until we call you.”

Bozidar herded Rupon and Salia to the wall near the window. He returned for Mercon and Dajdar, who maintained the wall although Scott and Edna were no longer behind it. He tugged on the fabric between them until they unlaced their arms. The fabric wrapped itself into narrow tubes, retracting until their arms reached only half-way down their bodies instead of dragging along the floor. Bozidar ushered them to the same wall where Rupon and Salia stood like the rocks at Stonehenge.

Edna returned with three thimbles. She placed them on the coffee table and assisted Cecily with the lights and a tripod for the camera. Scott and Gary helped them reposition the couch and coffee table, and remove some of the books, magazines, pillows and decorations scattered about the room.

Susan carried a tray of ice cream from the kitchen. After two more trips she had bowls, spoons and cloth napkins arranged on the coffee table. She gathered the thimbles, examining each one. She placed them in a row.

“Good choice for the bowls, Mom,” Cecily said. “The pink Depression glass would have worked, but the gold Amberina glass will photograph better.”

“Thank you. I’m just glad I remembered them. Which one of these thimbles will work best? I like the porcelain one, but I’m not sure how it will look on film.”

Cecily scanned the line up and picked up a bright brass thimble with a ring of multi-colored glass beads around its middle. “Mom, it has to be this one. The porcelain one will look like an overgrown sugar cube, and the silver one is designed to go over the nail. It can’t stand on its own.” She turned to Edna. “Why did you even bring out the others, Grandma?”

“It’s important to maintain the illusion of choice,” Edna said.

“And you think I micromanage you and your sisters,” Susan said. “Come with me to the kitchen. My notebook is there with my ideas for the ceremony. I’m not even sure you can shoot them. I’ve never written a screenplay before.”

In the kitchen, Susan handed the notebook to Cecily. She wiped the already clean table, rearranged the salt and pepper shakers, and moved the sugar bowl to the counter.

“Don’t worry, Mom,” Cecily said, scanning the pages. “These are good ideas. I’ll figure something out. And Gary can help.” She grinned. “It’s so nice to have an actor in the family.”

“Why are you and your grandmother so intent on marrying me off?” Susan held up her hand. “Don’t answer that. We’ve got a lot to do before your sisters get home.”

Cecily hugged her mother. “Right. And thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me go. A year ago, when I asked to go to Ireland, you wouldn’t even listen. Now you’re letting me go to another planet. I don’t know what’s changed, but I’m grateful.”

“What’s changed is you,” Susan said. “When you asked to go study film in Ireland, you didn’t have a plan - or a budget. Since then you’ve produced a movie, and distributed it. You know who you are and what you want now, so new places and experiences will help you grow instead of confuse you. Besides, you won’t be alone.”

“Are you saying you trust Grandma Edna to be my chaperon?”

Susan shuddered. “Good heavens, no. She’ll be looking for trouble the minute she arrives. Bozidar will be lucky if he has a job once the elders meet Edna.”

Cecily squeezed Susan’s hand. “We won’t let her embarrass the family.”

Alien squeals and the sound of heavy things falling reverberated from the living room.

“You sure about that?” Susan asked as she sprinted toward the noise.

“No one’s dead,” Edna said. She and Scott turned one of the overstuffed chairs right side up.

Gary and Bozidar stood on either side of Rupon, supporting him. “We’re fine,” Gary said. “He’s fine. We’re all fine.”

“Uh huh.” Susan scanned the room. “No blood, and nothing’s broken. That’s a good start.”

Bozidar stepped away from Rupon, his expression a mixture of anxiety and intense watchfulness. “She put her finger in the stotlet. Then she ate. From her finger. The sacrilege was more than Rupon could bear.”

“Oh, Mother.”

“Why do you immediately assume it was me?” Edna demanded. “There’s another ‘she’ in here.” She pointed at Salia, then shoved her hand in her pocket.

“There’s a drip of chocolate on your lower lip,” Susan said. “And on your hand.”

“Edna, I love you,” Scott said. “But wipe your mouth and stay out of trouble. Cecily, get the ceremony documented so we can bring it to the planet and get back home before someone starts a war.” He glared at Edna.

“I’m ready now,” Cecily said. She picked up a bowl and studied it. “Let’s make this simple. Grandma should take the lead. She’s the matriarch. She can serve the ice cream - ”

“Which flavor? And to whom?” Edna asked.

Cecily chewed on her lip. “The butter pecan. First to Mom, then to me, then yourself. We each take a bite. Grandma, you offer a bite to Bozidar. Mom gives her bowl to Rupon and Salia, I give mine to Mercon and Dajdar.”

“Who’s doing the filming?” Susan asked.

“I can handle that.” Gary examined the camera. “I’d start with a close-up on Edna, zoom out to you two, then pan over to our friends.”

“That’s just what I was thinking,” Cecily said. “Fade on Bozidar eating. The next scene is Grandma presenting the thimble to Bozidar. Just the two of them. The last scene will be with the quilt.”

Cecily and Gary prodded the humans and aliens to specific places in the room, suggested gestures and words, and re-arranged furniture and decorations for props. Although Cecily insisted she could explain the ceremony with a voice-over, and Gary assured them that there was no right or wrong way to put a spoon in a bowl on camera, Edna and Susan found a reason to stop filming with every motion.

“Mom, it’s not that hard,” Cecily said through gritted teeth. “Grandma hands you the bowl. You hand it to Rupon. And Grandma, don’t look at the camera, look at Mom.”

“They’re nervous,” Gary said. His voice was calm, but his jaw was tight and his eyes skipped between Susan and Cecily.

“I know!” Cecily snapped. “So am I. The future depends on getting this right.”

Scott checked his watch. “That’s not entirely accurate. If we can believe Marsel, the ones with the authority to grant pardons have already done so. We’re providing the excuse to do what they want to do. So what do you say you film the bit with the thimble now? I think you’ve got plenty to work with for the stotlet ceremony. And it’s getting late.”

Cecily sighed. “You’re right. If we want to leave today, we’ll have to push on.” She drummed her fingers against her legs. “One more take, okay?”

“Okay,” Susan said. “But then I’m done. I don’t like being filmed.”

Edna opened her mouth, but Scott shook his finger at her. “We know you love being the center of attention, dear. And the next part is all about you, so do what Cecily wants.”

Tossing her hands in the air, Edna obeyed as Cecily directed the retake then pulled Bozidar to the couch. Gary zoomed in on the thimble and relinquished the camera.

“We’re still rolling,” he said as he stepped out of her way.

“Good,” Cecily said, removing the camera from the tripod. “I can use the out-takes for blackmail one of these days.” She positioned herself opposite Edna and Bozidar. “Grandma, put the thimble on your palm and hand it to Bozidar. When he takes it, put your hands on his head like you’re blessing him.”

“We should consult Marsel,” Bozidar said. “He is more familiar with the stories surrounding the artifact.”

“No time now,” Cecily said. “I’ll talk with him when I do the voice over.”

“Please do. I have no wish to challenge the elders for leadership.” Bozidar’s voice wavered and his shoulders trembled. “The difference between a gesture of forgiveness and an anointing is subtle.”

“Whatever,” Edna said. She displayed the thimble to the camera, let Bozidar take it from her, and ruffled his hair as she laid her hands on his head. “No one will mistake that gesture for an endorsement.”

Susan brought the quilt to Edna. “You can do this next scene without me, can’t you, dear?” she asked Cecily. She picked up the ice cream things and retreated to the kitchen.

“And that will be my blackmail shot of you, Mom,” Cecily said. “The brave business woman beaten by a small electronic device.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Susan called over her shoulder.

Cecily shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Moving on. Grandma, why don’t you point to your favorite block on the quilt. Bozidar, you can explain what the embroidery means. Then show the inside, the part that came from the leader. You can improvise here. Whatever you want to say about that first expedition will be fine.”

Bozidar stroked the edge of the quilt and nodded. Edna pointed to a green block embroidered with pale yellow chevrons and blocks of blue wavy lines. He explained the meaning behind the symbols, then moved to the next block, expanding on the story they had already heard.

Rupon and the others crept closer to the couch. Cecily scooted back to include them in the shot. Gary shifted the lights, aiming one at Bozidar.

“That was great,” Cecily said when Bozidar reached the end of his story. “I really like the part about Agnes saying good-bye. It’s hard to believe she was the only one who saw that space ship rise out of the San Francisco Bay and head off into the sky.”

“Your species is easily distracted,” he said. “A simple electro-magnetic pulse, timed correctly, interrupts the creation of short term memory.”

“Is that how your clan managed to hide in plain sight in my shop?” Susan asked from the archway. “I wondered how we lost track of those bolts. I’ll have to tell Louise.”

“It is also how I have kept my landing pod hidden,” Bozidar said, “and how we will escape detection when we leave to join the ship hidden on the far side of your moon.”

Edna grinned. “I can hardly wait. When do we go to space?”