Wedding Day Massacre

She liked them chiseled to perfection and stupid—the exact opposite of Sebastian. Still, there they sat with an exclusive table all to themselves, enjoying the grub while reminiscing about the warmth of her vaginal walls.

The cluster of hulking physiques stressing to conform to their suffocating formal attire looked comical arranged together in a single area. Most of the tables were designed to hold seven or eight people, but these boys were so stocked that four was the limit. It appeared as if a pack of freshly showered gym rats had arrived for leg and chest day as opposed to the celebration of a VERY close friend.

“It’s pretty loose,” Kwan explained.

“Yeah, after I was done with it, I stretched the shit out of it,” Brick interjected.

Rocky was ripping apart the chicken with his bare hands like a savage. He ground his teeth to the bone of the carcass and sucked with his lips.

“Yeah, but everything is loose for you, lil’ dick. You could be with a virgin and it’d be like sliding a hotdog down a hallway,” Rocky laughed.

The fourth juice bag, Luke, started to chuckle along with Brick. He’d showered at the gym with Kwan and knew the truth behind the mockery. He wasn’t sure if he was just stereotyping him or if he had cleaned up beside him too, but either way, it was funny.

“Whatever, why you looking, faggot? You just want some cock for yourself?” Kwan had a point.

“I… uhhhh, I didn’t, that’s just what I heard…” The most basic of comebacks appeared to be too much for him to handle.

“From who? Your mom telling stories again?” He turned the tables on him and more roaring laughter bubbled as the bunch remained ignorant to those around them.

“This is a sad day though… a real sad day, fellas,” Brick said somberly.

“Why, what’s wrong?” Luke was confused, an expression that frequented his face.

“Taylor’s getting married.”

“So? This guy is a total fuckin’ nerd, what kind of dorky bitch lets the train his girl rode in on come to the after-party? Don’t worry, hoss, you’ll be able to hit it still, we all will, I guarantee it.”

“It’s not that…”

“Then what is it?” Rocky was now displaying interest, and as he finished cleaning the bones of the pheasant, he cracked the first one, eyeing it straight down for marrow.

“I know that, I fucked her last night, stupid, but the next time I fuck her, it’s gonna be adultery…”

“So?” Rocky asked, slurping out the marrow obnoxiously.

“Do you have to do that? You look like Taylor’s retard brother.” Kwan was not a fan of the sickening noise, it felt like nails on a chalkboard to him.

“Where do you think I got the idea?” Rocky had no shame.

“Adultery…” Brick reiterated, exhaling with a sigh, trying to redirect back to his point.

“SO WHAT? ADULTERY, ASMULTERY! WHO CARES?” Rocky set the snapped skeletal remains down having finally concluded his emulation of Christopher’s actions.

“The word just sounds so… so… old. ADULT-ery, like an adult, you know what I mean? Are we… are we getting old?”

“Are you kidding me, guy? You’re crazy! We’re like a stable of well-hung stallions, fuckin’ stallions, guy! Except for Kwan.”

Kwan reacted to the diss perfectly and flicked a spoonful of mash that hit him square on the lips.

“You better fuckin’ watch it, zipper-head! I’ll fuckin’ pop ya, kid!” Rocky’s roid-rage was on the brink as he wiped the spuds off his mug. He could take a joke but not when he thought other people were around.

“Blow me, grease-wop!” Kwan retorted.

“It just kinda feels like we’re getting old is all I’m saying,” Brick chimed, reeling them back in.

“Well, a word of advice, since I’ve encountered this problem a few times. You know what fixes feeling old?” Brick waited for the enlightenment. “New pussy…” Rocky paused for a moment to let it sink in. “And can you guess what we’re surrounded by right now?”

Brick looked up at him and smiled. His friend had done a marvelous job at cheering him up, as evidenced by his response, “Speaking of new pussy, what’s your little sister’s number again?”