We, who Survived

I had tried to get out of bed so many times but eventually succumbed to the threats of a weak stomach and spinning world. Even inching up on the pillows brought on a wave of nausea. Thoughts on escape were dwindling like a dying flame with my useless state. I did not want to sleep even though Fern told me to. What happens if he or one of his hunters came in here and took advantage of me? Sure, he could have done so last night but he did not, however it did not mean I trusted him not to. No, instead, I would close my eyes for a bit and try sort out my busy thoughts…

When I opened my eyes again, Fern was sitting at my side again, a bowl in his lap with steaming contents. Mentally, I cursed myself for falling asleep just after saying I wouldn’t. Sighing, I stared up at him bitterly.

“You’re looking better than when I left you this morning, not as pale or sickly. You want help to sit up?” He looked concerned and relieved when I nodded slightly. Awkwardly, he fluffed up my pillows while helping me sit up. The world swam and I had to hold my head while shutting my eyes tightly. He made a sound, like a muffled chuckle.

“This isn’t funny asshole.”

“Mm, you look cute with that expression.”

Opening my eyes to glare at him, he moved to place the wooden bowl in my lap with a wooden spoon. Glancing at it, it had more meat and finely cut up vegetables in it with a thick broth. The smell alone was making my stomach growl and mouth water. Picking up the spoon, I slowly ate, savouring the salt I was lacking in my diet. My hand shook slightly but the more I ate, the steadier I got.

When I was done, Fern took the bowl and handed me a carved bamboo cup. The amber liquid inside smelled of mint and lime. Hesitantly taking a sip, I immediately let out a sigh of relief as the warmth relieved my scratchy throat and sank into my stomach. Fern just smirked at my actions as he made himself comfortable.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, breaking the silence as I took another sip of the tea.

“You’re full of questions. Do you always ask people about things they can’t voluntarily stop doing?”

“Asking questions and finding answers is part of my job, it helps to find out what is wrong and right. Plus, I’m only asking cause I’m…curious.”

“Okay. Tell me how it was like in space.”

“Why don’t you tell me why you are taking care of me while reminding me I am your prisoner.”

Fern stopped smirking, his features becoming hard. He looked at me before picking up my hand, the difference in size and roughness catching me by surprise. I knew I was small but my covered entirely by his.

“Tell me about the station.” His tone left little room to ask him another question. It was an order, not a choice. Sighing, I looked at our hands. I was not repulsed by him touching me.

“The station... It was hard living there. Harder for those born there. My father was a leader for Trident, but his title did not go far enough to prevent the bad things that happened to me. The station was like hell in my eyes with the library being the only place for me to find peace in. If you had asked anyone else in our surviving group, they would tell you it was a dream compared to my nightmare.” I glared down at my lap, feeling Fern’s hand tighten around mine. Glancing up, the hunger and craving were back in his eyes but now joined with something softer. Worry? Pity maybe? I did not know.

“Maybe you staying here would be better than you going back. You would be safer here with my tribe and I,” Fern finally said, hand now coming to rest on the side of my face. There was no longer the harsh and rough Fern sitting in front of me but another side, a softer side that made me anxious. “Those scars on your chest and back, that is where they come from is it not? All those people on the station hurt you to the point it was engraved into your skin.”

“Fern, I can’t stay here when my people need me. Sure, they left me behind, but your hunters were chasing them giving them little choice to come back for me. I have to go back, and you know that. Plus,” I began to add in a softer tone, looking away, “how can I stay in a place like this that scares me, with someone who I barely trust and have only been with for a day practically?”

Fern let his hand fall from the side of my face. Fear was making my heart beat rapidly. I was not scared of him but of what he would do next. Would he hit me? Let me starve until he was done with me? What made it worse was the smirk that crept onto his lips.

“I will just have to prove to you that you can trust me and that you don’t have to be scared. The only reason I act the way I do is because I am the next chief. If they see me going soft-hearted around you, someone who does not belong, they will want another stronger chief who they think will protect them better. When the people see your worth, they will welcome you.” Fern nodded his head, determination in his eyes.

Whatever you do or try to, will only make me want to leave more, were the words I wanted to say but they never came out. Looking down at my lap, I could not meet his eyes anymore.

“You need to rest now. The hunting party should be off soon, and I need to go and lead it.” Fern stood up from the bed, taking the bowl and cup before leaving the room. The want to escape was back but the need for sleep was more demanding. The others would just have to wait a little longer for my return...

Waking up, it felt like fog had been lifted. Risking the calm sensation leaving, I slowly sat up and to my joy, the room stayed stable. I slipped out from under the fur covers and touched the floor with bare feet. Goosebumps rose up on my arms, making me shiver from the cold. Pulling off one of the furs from the bed, I wrapped it around my shoulders before tediously making my way into the hall on shaky legs. Using the wall as a support, I stumbled into the main room where I was met with three bare-faced hunters and Fern. All four stared at me, then Fern stood up from his chair, anger clear on his face.

Widening my eyes as he advanced, I instinctively took a step back and almost tripped on the fur blanket. Fern’s arms shot out, coming around me as he pulled me up against his chest. I could hear his rapid heartbeat and knew then he was not angry. Maybe nervous?

“Act scared and sickly, they will not harm you,” He whispered as he roughly grabbed my upper arm and dragged me behind him before forcing me to sit on the floor, my head level with his left knee.

“I’m surprised you haven’t gotten Bashton to collar him yet. He could have escaped while you were gone hunting with us,” One of the hunters stated, his voice familiar. I wanted to glare up at him, but Fern told me to act vulnerable and as much as I hated it, I clenched my jaw shut and pulled the fur tighter around my body.

“He caught the Village Flu when we brought him in. He’s been bedridden this whole time and can’t get far without the support of the wall or me, barely can keep his food down too,” Fern explained, sighing as if he was frustrated. “Then there’s the wound on his back, a Crawler did quite a number on him. For a Space Rat, he’s managed to get this far without the infection taking his life.”

“Damn, almost makes me want to feel sorry for him,” Another hunter snicker. The third was yet to utter a word.

My anger was making my blood boil. How could they talk so little about me? Like I was a slave that was won or bought from an auction and had no right to even lift his head to meet their eyes. I wanted to leave before I made a mistake but as I was readying myself to stand up, Fern’s hand came to rest on the back of my neck, massaging gently. The action immediately telling me to calm down and sit still. Readjusting the fur around me, I leaned back against the chair’s leg and closed my eyes. Fern kept kneading my neck gently as he and his friends continued to speak until he finally booted them out.

“Do you want me to tell Bashton to make a collar for him? He could go feral for all we know and kill you in your sleep,” the last hunter to leave, asked Fern.

“Zed, you don’t have to worry him about anything. Nathan will not be leaving anytime soon.”

“Nathan?” The hunter, Zed, was not aiming his question at Fern but at me. Glancing up, I only allowed my eyes to reach his collarbone. “I should be worried about you rather than the future chief it seems. Hope your back heals without any more hassles.” With that, he left, and Fern closed the door to come and stand in front of me.

“I want to show you something. We will have to find you warmer clothes though. Come on, let me help you up.” He offered me his hand and after giving it thought, I took it. When he pulled me up, my vision swam and my legs felt like jelly, making me stumble forward into Fern’s chest. His arms, like instinct, wrapped themselves around me and he began rubbing circles into my lower back. His actions were so different compared to Spark’s. Spark made these movements like they were out of friendliness while Fern... He made his intentions known and it was more than just wanting to make me trust him.

“Your Trident jacket should be enough, but I will pack a fur in case it is chillier.”