We, who Survived

I stood on the deck, watching as the stars began revealing themselves in the darkening sky. As a boy, I used to sit and marvel at their twinkling shine as it grew stronger with the fading of the sun’s light. My grandmother would point out the old constellations before finally drawing my attention to the black object obscuring a small portion of the moon. The S.S.H.R. Where it used to hover was now empty, allowing for a clear, clean moon to be gazed upon and cherished.

Turning my back to the night sky, I strode to the cabin’s door and opened it. A roaring fire greeted me with the crackling of meat frying above its flames. Nathan sat huddled under a fur blanket, a journal in his lap and an old ballpoint pen in his hand. He was staring intently into the fire until he noticed I was back inside. He smiled tiredly before gesturing that I come and sit next to him.

“What are you doing?” I asked, peering at the open pages. One side was filled with his cursive writing while the other had a realistic drawing of the Thistle in the air, paws splayed to show the claws tipping each toe.

“Writing down my observations. I should have started when we got to the base but I forgot. Only six pages are filled in but you can have a look,” Nathan explained, rubbing his wrist and leaning into me.

Taking the journal, I opened it to the first page. The heading was The Cree Hunter, which made me chuckle a little, and under it was a detailed description of the characteristics of one. On the other page was a drawing of what a hunter looked like while stalking. He had his mask on and hid in a tree. When I saw the bow in his hands, I could not stop the smile appearing on my lips.

Turning over the page, I read the next title. Crawler was the heading followed by Nathan’s point of view on their unique shell and the way they fed off their prey. He also added his own experience with two of the little menaces. His drawing on the accompanying page was of a Crawler trying to camouflage itself on a tree and another upside down to show off its sharp teeth.

The last page was of the Thistle and its own devilish evolution.

“You’ve been busy, Kitten,” I noted while giving him the book back. “I didn’t know you could draw, you left it out when we were getting to know each other.”

“We still are dummy,” Nathan giggled. As he moved closer, he grimaced, catching my attention instantly.

“How is your body?” I asked softly, touching the small of his back. He laughed tiredly, closing his eyes as I drew small circles into his muscle.

“Sore, very sore,” He breathed, looking up at me with a sad glint in his eyes. “Everything feels like tearing stitches. I move even the tiniest bit and fire engulfs me.”

“I don’t know how to help there but I know the perfect combination of herbs that will help relax your body with a soothing bath.” Pursing my lips, I waited for a sarcastic comment but Nathan just leaned his head against my shoulder and knitted his fingers with mine.

“Only if you carry me and let me soak in peace,” Nathan said, glancing playfully at me.

“Whatever my Kitten asks for, I carry out,” I said, copying his grin and kissing his forehead before picking him up gently. The fur blanket fell to the floor as his arms came around my neck and his face tucked under my jaw. He kissed my throat as I held him close.

I sat in front of the fire, sharpening my arrows and tying their new fletching on when I heard a hard thump followed by a yelp. Hurriedly placing the pointless shafts in front of me, I rushed down the stone hallway to the bathroom. Pushing the leather curtain aside, I saw Nathan on his knees clutching his arm to his chest. He was naked, revealing the full extent of Spark’s actions to be seen in the light.

Red, angry lines marked his back, narrowly missing his Crawler bite. They ran down to his hips where healing crescents circled the bones. His shoulders and neck were decorated with purple splotches and indentations where the fucker had bitten him.

“Nathan?” I called wearily, slowly coming into the room. His body tensed, becoming rigid as he lowered his head.

“D-don’t look at me!” He hissed, beginning to shake. I could not tear my eyes off him.

“There’s nothing wrong, Kitten, your body is still perfect and beautiful,” I said lowly, coming to crouch by his side and gently placed my hand on his back. There was a quick intake of breath before Nathan curled upon himself, his spine sticking out and his head tucked between his forearms.

“How can you say that? I’m not pure anymore, I’m used, broken. And I can’t even give you something that I was supposed to have a choice in.” His breathing was becoming heavy, his voice thick with emotion. He hesitantly sat up and faced me, showing me his naked front.

“Do you really want to be with someone like me?” He gestured helplessly to his body then met my eyes, tears shimmering in his own. “Someone who is unable to help you, to provide for you or at least give you their virginity?”

“I don’t need you to provide for me, that’s my job. All I am asking for is that you give me your faith and love. Nathan, don’t blame yourself, you had no say in what happened to you. If you need to blame someone, blame me or Spark, not yourself.” Opening my arms, I waited as Nathan edged into them. I then moved so he could sit in my lap, his side resting against my chest while his head leaned onto my shoulder. We were quiet as he got comfortable and asked for my arms to be wrapped around him. I made sure my grip on him was loose enough so it was not constricting but strong enough to show him I was not letting go.

“How am I going to deal with this?” Nathan asked in a small voice, his hands clasped loosely in his lap. “I hate this constant memory of him doing what he did, feeling his hands over me. I want it gone.”

“Maybe you should try covering them up with good memories?” I suggested, taking his right hand and bringing it to my lips. “When you’re ready, we can try getting rid of the bad.”