Chapter 37 ~ Responsibility
Aljana spat out a curse as sharp fangs sliced across her cheek, splitting skin open.
Yet more blood filled the air, thickening every breath.
I struggled to keep the writhing female calm but I wasn't sure she understood as much as her brother did. I'd tried the pack's tongue and whatever the other language was I knew, and my friend had tried English too, but nothing calmed her down. The only hope I clung onto was she was only attacking out of fear. Her terror filled the air with a sickening scent as Madden tried to get a better look at the bite on her side but he never got close. She fought harder than even I had at the beginning, like a hellcat intent on causing as much damage as possible.
"This is ridiculous," Aljana muttered, releasing the female who immediately curled up tight with her back to the wall.
Perched on the edge of the bed, the rumble of my wolf seemed to do little to sooth the poor pup. Blue eyes were wide and wild, flicking over each of us. She expected pain. A fist. A slap. Kick. Bite. Only time would convince her we meant no harm.
Is this what I looked like? No wonder I got so many pitying glances. Having been in her place however, brought me a little knowledge that might help.
"I have an idea that might work," I said, stroking hair away from the female's face. But it relied on her twin having more control. "If I bring your brother here, will you let our healer look at you?"
Praying she understood, I was relieved when she nodded slowly but the second I stood up, her hand flew out. I tried not to cringe as her nails dug stingingly deep into my skin. Of course she didn't want me to go. I was the only face she knew.
I only had to look at Aljana for her to turn on her heel and go. She was probably happier with that task than being stuck in here. When the door shut, my arm was released and I rubbed over the crescent marks left behind. Hopefully they'd disappear before Bjarke saw.
"At least we know she has energy," Madden joked, his signature goofy smile in place, he winked at the female who simply stared back blankly. "Malnourished, definitely in need of a good feeding and a bath, but otherwise well."
"You think she'll be alright then?" It was my turn to be relieved. He might not have been able to get a proper look but I trusted him.
He nodded but cast me a meaningful glance. "I need to clean out the wound."
Or else. . .
It wasn't long before Aljana brought her brother back. He'd been cleaned up, his skin no longer grimy but his brown hair was still a wild tangle of knots. The female relaxed instantly as he took his place beside me, murmuring quietly to her in words that sounded more like a series of grunts and growls but she understood and settled back on the bed, finally allowing Madden to start his work.
Aljana and I shared a look of curiosity. So she hadn't heard a language quite like that before either. Whatever it was, at least it worked in calming the female down. She flinched and hissed in pain but no longer was she on the offensive, her brother's hand clasped tight in hers. I watched them both with an aching heart. They'd been through a lot, but at least they had each other.
A touch to my shoulder brought my gaze back to Aljana. "Bjarke is getting restless. I think he'd like it if you returned to the hall. Madden and I will watch these two, she won't be leaving the bed any time soon."
I was torn about leaving, glancing back at the twins with worry twisting in my gut. Would they be okay? Would they trust my friends to keep them safe? The male looked up, catching my eye and giving me a small nod. He'd brought food and water for them both, and they'd be warm and dry here at least.
"If either of you need anything, come and find me," I said, squeezing the male's shoulder. "We'll have to come up with names for you. I can't keep calling you the twins."
He gave me a strained smile and nodded again before giving his attention back to his sister. I frowned a little, unsure of the look I'd seen in his eyes. A look that made me feel as if he didn't have any intention of remaining here with us. It didn't matter for now, I wouldn't be letting either of them leave until the female was healed. After that, I wouldn't force them to stay. I couldn't. It was their right to decide.
Sliding from the bed, I finally felt the rigours of the day. Muscles and bones creaked in protest but I forced myself to move. Basjan would need fed, my mate would need reassured that I was alright as I did him, and I wanted to see Sol. I wasn't sure what the pack did with their dead but I owed it to him to help them prepare him for the afterlife. Perhaps Freyja and Odin had watched him fight and defend me, one of them would offer him a place in their hall to sit and feast.
Aljana walked me to the door and I felt the presence of her hand hovering at my back. Did I look so bad she thought I'd collapse?
"I'm alright," I assured her with a smile.
She didn't look like she believed me but didn't question it. Instead she jerked her head in the direction of the twins. "Do you think they will stay?"
A helpless sigh flew from my lips, my worry for them making my chest feel tight.
"I don't know. But if I can find a place in the pack, so can they. I. . .I don't think they'd last very long on their own. I know it looks like they're feral but they're not, they're both rather submissive. It's only when it comes to each other that they make a stand like that." Another heavy sigh and I rubbed my forehead. As far as I knew, they were both born in the wild, unlike me. Perhaps they were too far gone. At least I'd spent some time in a pack before becoming lost.
"We shall see then. The male was quiet in the hall, he let us clean him up without much fuss which put Alpha Jakkon at ease. I believe you'll get your wish and he'll offer them a place. The pack will accept them, we don't hold grudges against pups." Her smile was comforting but Aljana wasn't a soft female. I wondered how she'd cope looking after the twins. She could be gentle when she had to be, I'd seen that. "You need rest Freydis. Tomorrow may be a trying day for you."
I didn't get the chance to ask why before she turned to head back inside. Hesitating at the door, my fingers fretted at my sleeves. It wasn't until I focussed in on the niggling worry coming from my mate that I shook myself free of thoughts and started moving.
Valdis watched me pass. His eyes burned holes into my skin but I refused to so much as glance at him. He was no longer trying to get free but from the smell of blood wafting from his direction, I wondered if he even had the energy to.
The hall was quieter than I thought it'd be when I finally made my way inside. I couldn't help but stop and take in the sight of my family scattered around the room in a soft orange glow. Despite it only just beginning to darken outside, it wouldn't have surprised me if the rest of the pack were in their own homes now.
Bjarke was lying on the floor on top of some furs, eyes closed and lips parted slightly as his chest steadily rose and fell. Our son was sprawled out naked on top of him, a little drool leaking from his mouth to pool on my mate's chest. I couldn't help but smile adoringly at them both, content just to watch them for a moment.
I didn't want to wake them. Bjarke must have been truly exhausted to fall asleep like this. Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to my fingers and then pressed my fingers to each of their cheeks, smiling as my big Beta's lips quirked into a smile. Was he dreaming of me?
"Freydis, come eat before your brother scarfs it all down himself."
I chuckled at my father's words, pushing myself back to my feet to walk over to the table. My mother stood immediately, fussing around me until I was sat with a plate of food and mug of water before me. For once, I didn't protest and began shoving food down in a manner that rivalled Orin. My brother winked at me before shoving more food my way. Cheeky git.
Fenna chuckled as she watched me, her chin propped on her laced fingers. She looked worse off than her mate. A black bruise almost had one of her eyes completely swollen shut and she was covered in angry red scratches but the smile on her face didn't waver. She caught me studying her of course, and I worried she'd be offended but she only smirked.
"I led the charge," she stated smugly, head tilting up a little.
Orin snorted. "Only because you were closest. You should have waited."
So Fenna had been the black wolf that had jumped over me. A warrior just like I'd been told. Not someone who ran. Food turned to ashes in my mouth and I pushed the plate away, hiding the tremble of my hands in the sleeves of my dress. Another dress ruined by my own blood.
"How are the twins doing?" Mother asked, putting more food on my plate for me to try and encourage me to keep eating.
"They're alright. Thank you for taking care of them. Madden says the female will heal, she's calmer with her brother there-"
My father snorted and shook his head, cutting me off. I grit my teeth before turning to face him, a bite to my voice that shouldn't have been there when speaking to an alpha male. "What you saw was a reaction any wolf would have when being held captive by strangers. If anything, they showed you they know how to be loyal. They just want to keep each other safe, soon they'll see that we want to do the same. Or will you not throw your mercy to pups that have lived only knowing fear and hunger because they don't have a Beta male unwilling to kill them?"
Orin stopped eating with a piece of boar halfway to his mouth, his eyes flicking between our father and me.
"I didn't want to kill you, Freydis, just as I have no wish to kill those pups. I will offer them a place here and as I made you Bjarke's responsibility, they will be yours. Do you understand?" he asked, his voice completely calm but I still recognised the warning. Watch your tone.
"Thank you," I mumbled, looking back down at my plate. If that's what it took to keep them here, then I'd make it them duty. I could be a mother to Basjan, and to the twins.
Orin and Fenna shifted uncomfortably but I didn't care that I'd gotten a small scolding. The air settled when our Alpha stood and came to press his cheek to mine, a nip to my jaw showing I was forgiven.
"Is there anything else you want to demand of me, dóttir?" Amusement coated his tone and I think he was surprised when I said yes.
Swallowing the lump of guilt in my throat, I forced out. "I want to see Sol."
He frowned, sharing a look with Orin which only irritated me. I knew they'd seen the aftermath, had carried his body back, did they think I couldn't handle it?
"He fought for me," I continued, trying to keep the tremor from my voice. "I'm not frightened of the dead."
"You can say your goodbyes with the rest of us tomorrow, sister. There's no use in upsetting yourself further tonight. His body is being prepared, it isn't something you want to see," Orin added.
It was difficult not to growl, to react how my fur wanted. I tampered down that urge.
Did they think I hadn't seen dead bodies before? I had. I'd seen corpses rotted and decayed, of wolves and pups alike. Whatever they thought, denying me this wasn't protecting me from anything.
I tipped my chin up, preparing to argue further but a flicker of movement as my mate woke up, and the frown on his face wasn't what I wanted to see. He rose from the furs with more grace than a male of his size should have possessed. Nobody said anything as I stumbled from the table to rest myself against him with my nose pressed against the top of Basjan's head.
They were right about one thing, there was no use in upsetting myself further. So I would stop arguing, but that didn't mean I had to listen. Bjarke's hand lifted so he could stroke his fingers through my hair, massaging against my scalp in that way that had tension melting from my shoulders. I turned my focus onto Basjan, smiling as his face scrunched up in a yawn. The poor pup must have been starving.
"Take my daughter to bed, Beta," Alpha Jakkon ordered, meeting my gaze with a firm one of his own.
Channelling my own inner pup, I turned on my heel and did my best to leave the hall without once looking back at my father. I could smell the sour tang of his anger in the air but he let me have this childish victory and I appreciated that.
Bjarke was quick to follow me, saying nothing about what he'd seen. He simply angled his body so I couldn't see Valdis and began to lead me home. But when the oath split, we didn't take the one for home and I stumbled. My Beta placed a finger over his mouth, a motion for me to keep quiet so I bit back my curiosity and followed him up a steeper path that headed towards the side of the mountain.
The ground was rocky and uneven, no huts or shelters around, which only added to my confusion about where we were going. Especially when our path was then lined with old bones and skulls, some hanging from trees, others scattered across the ground. Runes were carved into wooden sticks that hung from skeletal branches, chiming as the wind blew through them, and startling me into catching up with my mate. There was a thickness in the air here but I trusted that Bjarke wouldn't lead me anywhere unsafe.
Trees groaned and creaked, the wind picking up in a gentle moan and then, just as it had happened a few times since I'd joined the pack, I could hear whispers. Soft voices held no malice this time but Bjarke didn't seem to be able to hear them. Or he was better at hiding his own reaction. The breeze at my back urged me to keep moving even as my skin erupted into goosebumps.
Tall and grey, the cliff of the mountain stood intimidatingly before us, casting us in a dark a shadow. Bjarke paused at the entrance of a cave, or more like a tomb. An arch was carved into the rock, more runes covering its surface. I placed my hand against it, gasping at the buzz I felt that had sparks shooting over my skin.
"This is where we keep the dead until they're ready to leave this world. Say your goodbyes to Sol, my love," he urged gently, offering me a small smile.
He'd heard more than I thought. Had he ever really been asleep in the hall? I wouldn't put it past him to have pretended. Brushing my fingers across his arm, I whispered my thanks. He'd gone against the orders of his Alpha, and the heir, to give me this. And yet still, I hesitated, peering into the gloomy dark that was lit with thick, flickering candles. "You won't come in with me?"
For once, I saw a flicker of wariness in my mate's expression. He shook his head, holding a fussy Basjan tighter to his chest. I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his expression.
"I would have thought a descendant of dwarves wouldn't be scared of a little cave," I teased, laughing at the scowl he gave me.
"It's not fear but a healthy respect. I have no business in the hall of the dead. Not yet." His tone was gruff, eyes still darting to every sound.
That had me curious. "Who prepares the dead if you don't enter such a place?"
Another uncomfortable glance from my mate and I began to think I didn't want to know the answer to that question. I caught no scents of wolves from the pack here, at least none that I recognised. A shudder went up my spine and I was certain my mate was teasing me back for my jibe about him being afraid. Of course wolves from the pack tended to the dead. Who else could it be?
"You're trying to scare me," I muttered, straightening my back. "You'll wait here for me?"
He nodded, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "We won't leave you here alone."
I smiled and kissed his cheek, leaning into the warmth of him before forcing myself to go inside.
The air was filled with floral scents, not the dank musty smell I'd expected. Incense and herbs, I realised. Placed strategically around the small cave, plumes of smoke slowly wound up. My mind refused to answer the question of why so much was burned in here. Even with the heady scent, there was another it couldn't quite cover.
Death.
A slab of stone on my right beckoned me to look but I knew what I'd see when I did. Who I'd see. I couldn't linger forever though, not with my mate and son outside waiting in the cold.
Just look.
My body turned on its own and I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath before opening my eyes again.
He could have been sleeping.
Sol's eyes were closed, arms resting by his side, with an almost peaceful expression. He could have been sleeping. . .if it weren't for the odd angle of his neck, the gouges where fangs had torn flesh and the blue tone to his skin. But I wasn't scared as I knelt beside him and pressed my check against his one last time.
I knelt beside him for a while, long after the incense stopped hiding his scent from me. Words failed me. All I could do was watch him as if he would sit up at any moment. In one day, I'd lost my mentor and friend, gained another position in the pack, and gained two more pups. And tomorrow I'd be freed from Valdis forever.
"Thank you, Sol," I whispered, but my voice still echoed around. "You saved my life twice. I hope you find peace in whichever hall of the gods you're taken too. I hope I make you proud."
Placing a kiss to his forehead, I slowly got to my feet, backing away towards the exit. A ghost of a touch brushed across my cheek, leaving a trail of ice and I couldn't spend another moment in there. I scampered out, barrelling into my mate who must have heard my approach. His arm came tight around me, his nose pressed against my hair as he rumbled gently.
Without a word, he took me home and didn't argue when I pried Basjan from his grip so I could hold my pup tight to me. He nuzzled into my chest, searching for food as we stepped into our home.
Bjarke lit the fire straight away, the one he'd left on during the day having turned to smouldering embers. I took my place on the furs, always leaving the stool for Bjarke to take. Keeping Basjan wrapped up in furs, I undid the laces that held the front of the dress together so he could finally feed. It was a relief when he latched on and I closed my eyes and rocked gently, feeling the last of the tension in my body melting away.
The stool creaked as my mate sat down, his hand coming to cup the back of my head. I peeled open an eye to see him holding a mug of warm water to my lips. He didn't say anything as I took a few tentative sips, my nose scrunching on finding the water was flavoured with something sweet. It wasn't unpleasant, and I drank until my Beta was satisfied and pulled it away.
"Are you alright?" I asked, my gaze scanning over the hard way he held himself. Muscles bulged, his jaw was clenched and eyes still held the red tint of his wolf.
He'd seemed to be in a good mood, better than I'd expected after all wed gone through today. Perhaps finally being in our den allowed him to let down his guard. Tipping my head up to see him better, I waited for him to talk.
"I should never have let you go with Sol on your own, my gut told me that. Your dream told us all that. We should have listened." He looked away from me but not in anger, I realised. It was guilt that had him tensing.
Leaning towards him, I rested my head against his thigh, smiling when his fingers grazed over my throat. "We could take the blame all day, for different reasons, but it's Valdis that is truly at fault. If I didn't run into him today, it would have been another day, and maybe on that day I would have been alone. With no help. And things could have turned out worse."
"Once things are calm, maybe I could come to believe that. . .I'll feel better once Valdis and his dogs are dealt with tomorrow."
I didn't want to think about tomorrow. That darker part of me, the feral she-wolf, still lingered under my skin, trying to convince me to taste their blood for myself. Whatever happened, I definitely didn't want Basjan to see a thing, whether he'd remember it or not.
"And how do you feel about gaining to more pups to look after?" I dared to ask, frowning when he burst out laughing shook his head.
"Oh no, Freydis," he argued, patting the top of my head. "Your father said they were your responsibility, not mine. I've already done my duty of looking after and taming a feral wolf."
I scoffed, feeling hackles bristle as I lay a sleeping Basjan down in his bassinet. "Tame? You think you tamed me?"
His expression became wary, the laughter disappearing from his eyes. I should have put him out of his misery, announced I was only teasing, but I took a little joy in the fear in his eyes. But he caught on too quickly, lips twitching. Perhaps he could tell more through the bond than I could. He held out a hand for me, lips curling into a seductive smile as his voice dropped low and husky.
"You're right my mate, no wolf could ever think to tame such a creature as you," he apologised.
I laughed, taking his hand only to squeal as he tugged me onto his lap. Hands on his shoulders, my fingers couldn't help but explore his skin. Hips shifted of their own accord to feel my mate already hard beneath me. My gaze shifted to Basjan. Would we wake him? Would it matter if we did. . .
Strong hands gripped my hips, stopping any movement with a gruff growl. "Those twins though. They need a firmer hand than you did. Wolves born in the wild and living like they did. . ." He trailed off and shook his head before cupping my cheek. "Do not be upset if you can't help them become pack. The call of the wild is ingrained in their souls."
"Fenna told me her uncle was born a wanderer-"
"Beta Quillan was found by the pack at a younger age than the twins, not much younger. . .but it matters. Time matters. I'll help you, my love. I just don't want to see you hurt if they decide to leave."
A gentle kiss stole my ability to answer and I found I didn't want to talk more on what might be. For now, I was happy to be taken away by the touch of my mate as he took me to bed. He reminded me of his touch, and how it could make the whole world disappear.