Chapter five
Declan came up to his room while Tana was pacing back and forth, her fists clenching and unclenching at her sides. He looked furious, but so did Tana.
"How hard is it to follow simple instructions? I have wolves here who aren't too fond of the idea of you being here. You could have been killed. And then you start a fight with one of my best guards? Who do you think you are?" He snarled, moving forward with every step Tana took back.
"I'm not some animal you can keep locked up. I have no interest being here. Let me go and I won't cause anymore trouble," she spat, which only seemed to egg him on further.
"You are my mate. Whether you accept that or not is none of my concern. Since you can't follow rules, you'll stay here until you prove to me that you can," he snapped. He spoke to her as though she were a pup and she wasn't about to stand for that.
So, just as he turned to leave, she jumped on him and threw him to the ground, slamming a fist into his throat which caused him to make a choking noise and roll onto his side. Her wolf cried out and pulled her back, desperate to stop hurting her mate. Tana wanted to do more damage but she couldn't if her wolf wouldn't let her.
Declan let out a low growl as he sat up, but he didn't make a move to attack. His wolf was clearly surfacing but he was kept at bay. He had the kind of control every alpha should have. The kind of control Tana had never seen before.
"If you try to lock me up like some pet I will kill anyone in my way to get out. I am not yours to do with as you please. You know nothing about me," she snarled, scrambling backwards as he began to stand up. Her wolf was beyond agitated, the thought of having hurt her own mate making her guilt immeasurable. It was getting in the way of Tana's own emotions, too.
"There will be guards with you at all times. You are never to leave unaccompanied. And believe me when I say that although you are my mate, my wolves come first and if you hurt any of them again you'll wind up on the cellar floor," Declan said lowly, spinning on his heel and slamming the door shut behind him as he left.
She felt like punching a hole in the wall. But the guards were out there and she didn't need Declan racing back right away and yelling at her again. So, instead she settled for tipping over a bookshelf so that it landed on Declan's bed. The noise alerted the guards, but as soon as they saw Tana calmly picking at her nails near the disaster, they muttered something to each other and closed the door again.
If Declan thought he could dictate what she did, he was in for quite a surprise.
***
Tana must have fallen asleep on the couch in the time it took Declan to come back and fix the bookshelf. In fact, the only reason she woke up was because he accidentally dropped one of the books on the hardwood floor, looking incredibly guilty when he saw her awake.
"I apologize for my behaviour. I let my anger and my wolf get the best of me. I promise I'll try to work with you to make sure you feel comfortable here. It'll be your home, too," he said softly, sitting at the edge of his bed to look at Tana, who turned away.
"I don't think you understand. I can't stay here. Your pack won't be safe if I stay," Tana replied. Declan only tipped his head to the side like a lost puppy.
"You can tell me what it is Tana. Whatever mess you're in I can help you get out of it. I exist to keep you safe now," Declan said, the desperation in his eyes too much to bear. Tana shook her head and let out a sharp sigh.
"I can't tell you and you can't help me. My family may be here but this place will never be my home. I'm trying to save you the pain," she huffed.
"We aren't some small pack, Tana. We are one of the largest in the area. Nothing will get to you so long as I'm around," he insisted, which only frustrated Tana more. He just didn't seem to get it. Either that or he didn't want to get it.
"It's not me that I'm worried about. Sincere and Tuk are the only ones I have left and if he gets to them it's over for me," Tana snapped, wrapping her arms around herself.
"He? Who is he? Tana, please, I just want to help,"
"You can't help. Just please let me go," Tana whispered. He was silent for a moment, but she could feel his anguish.
"You know I can't do that," he said quietly. Tana continued to face away from him, her eyes trained on the floor.
Tana often wondered what it would feel like to be free. With Declan, both she and her wolf believed that she could finally feel that way. That she could stop looking over her shoulder. But both of them knew that their alpha would never stop coming for them.
And she couldn't sacrifice her brother, her cousin, or any innocent wolves for her own selfishness. Tuk and Sincere were the only family members who had made it. Tana had nothing else. She couldn't rely on Declan because he, too, would inevitably leave her as well.
Many wolves had survived without their mates after having met them. Although they were never the same, Tana knew that she didn't have much of a life left to live. Not after Talon got to her.
"I'll get you some food. You must be hungry," was all Declan said before he got up and left the room, running his hands through his hair as he muttered something to himself.
Tana was left on her own to watch the darkening sky. She barely felt the hunger gnawing at her stomach as she curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the floor. She barely felt the cool breeze that wafted over her when she shut her eyes.
So when Declan came back with the food and tried to convince her to eat, she just looked away until he left so that she could eat alone.
She fell asleep minutes later with the same voice rattling around in her mind, irritating her beyond belief.
"I live to chase you, Tana..."