Warring Logics (Book 1 of The Institute of Fantasiological Studies)

Tobias has assured me that October is usually the best time of the year in Frankfurt.

But here I am, mid-October, and big dark rain clouds have hovered over the city for days forcing citizens inside of restaurants despite the pandemic. I look at those warm and cozy people now, huddled inside the restaurant in close quarters, laughing, drinking, eating like the next table isn’t only a foot away. I admire their ability to pretend the covid doesn’t exist.

“Thank you for meeting with me, Alexis” Mr. Weiß- or uh Max, because I guess we are on a first-name basis now, greets as he sits down at my table.

I chose a restaurant smack in the middle of the Zeil, the pedestrianized shopping street in the center of town. It’s not one of my favorite restaurants, but somehow I felt it was less personal on the busy street surrounded by people rushing by with their shopping bags flapping on their arms. Wide umbrellas shade the tables and hold off the impending rain and heat lamps prevent the cold from seeping in through our coats. I miss summer already.

I smile at Max, “Of course, Max.”

Tobias didn’t seem to mind the idea of me dating someone I was studying. Or I guess I am studying his coven, not him specifically, but it’s somehow difficult to separate them at times. But despite Tobias’ laid-back attitude, I am still wary of the idea. How can it not introduce bias into my work?

“How are you?” Max starts with small talk right when I see a waiter walk by.

“Good” Oh no, this is going to be like talking to a colleague but with all of the added awkwardness of a first date. Just as I respond, I see a waiter carrying a few dirty dishes out of the corner of my eye and wave him down, vigorously. Thankfully, I catch his eye just before he heads back into the building.

It takes us only a minute or two to order our lattes. The waiter looking irritated that we aren’t ordering more but the outside area of the restaurant is nearly empty.

And I don’t want this date to last too long.

I turn back to Max trying to think of something to ask him, but I can’t come up with anything I really want to know. So I resort to the standard questions, “Have you been well?”

It’s been all of 5 days since I saw him last. If something dramatic happened, I would be surprised.

“I am well, thank you for asking. I had a busy weekend, a group of us decided to head up to Großer Feldberg to see the autumn leaves. You should come with us next time” He smiles a charming smile.

I cock my head to the side. What did Albert say? Beloveds find each other attractive? He is attractive, very attractive, but all of the vampires are. He is more causal than von Graf, but still very put together with slacks, a black trench coat, and the collar of a white button-down peeking out from under a blue sweater. His hair is perfectly wild with a light curl throughout the reddish-brown mane and a freshly-shaven face. Yes, he is definitely attractive. But do I find him attractive enough?

“Sounds lovely” I reply as the waiter puts our coffees on the table and I notice we are missing something from the table and so I ask the waiter “Zucker, bitte”

The waiter visibly sighs before heading off. I’m definitely not giving him a big tip.

“Your German is coming along,” Max comments.

“You are very kind” My German isn’t coming along at all. The fact that I can ask for sugar after living here for 10 months is not, I feel, very impressive. But the good news is that I have learned a few food words that I won’t starve.

“So, how is your research going?” He takes a long sip of his coffee. He really is perfectly polite.

I don’t want to discuss my research too much since I feel it might influence what he or his coven might say, so I give him a bland answer, “very well I think, I’ve completed a few interviews and I have begun to transcribe them. I’ll need to set up a few more, maybe some of your members are available soon?”

The waiter walks past and sets the sugar on the side of the table next to my cellphone without pausing. I guess he doesn’t want the inconvenience of customers asking for anything.

It’s a small dish with only two packets of sugar on it. Trying to not look like a crazy person in front of the man who might be the love of my life, I grab only one packet, open it, and dump the contents into my coffee. I take the spoon sitting on my plate, stir the latte, and then set the spoon down.

“Of course, I’ll call you tomorrow with a few dates after I talk to my members,” he crosses his arms and leans forward on the table, “I am really happy to support your project in any way, it’s a great opportunity for our coven to gain more recognition and some new members. But most importantly it allowed me to meet you and it’s important to you, so it’s important to me”

He reaches across the table and places his hand over mine which was resting on the handle of the spoon.

How sweet, and a little much maybe? I try not to cringe. I feel as though he expects me to jump into his arms ever since he told me we are beloveds.

I should probably tell him that I want to hold back on our relationship until after I have finished my Ph.D. Not the most fun conversation…

I open my mouth to begin to explain when my phone rings. It’s a number I don’t know.

“Sorry, Max, I have to take this” I take my hand out from underneath his and grab my phone.

It’s the perfect excuse to postpone our conversation.

*****

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