SWNOVELS The one where they talk (Chapter 35)
“I know you are disappointed it didn’t work out with Mr. Weiß, but-” von Graf continues.
“No, no, that’s not -“I interrupt.
“I would appreciate it if you let me say my piece, Miss Hemstock” He is still standing next to the door whereas I am almost all the way to his desk.
I swallow my protests feeling shame that it’s my fault we’re in this position.
The dim lights make the atmosphere of his office oppressive, or maybe that is the guilt swimming in my stomach that feels like it is eating me from the inside. Why am I here? I should be at home drowning in my sorrows and watching shitty tv while drinking wine straight from the bottle.
Von Graf stands several yards away, his arms crossed like he is trying to hold it all together. It makes the muscles are his arms bulge through the sleeves of his sweater. The space between us feels far and impossible to cross.
He closes his eyes briefly and takes a deep breath before opening them again, “Like I was saying, I know you are disappointed but time heals, and when you are….” He pauses for a moment searching for the words, “yourself again, perhaps… perhaps we can see where this goes”
Is he… is he asking me out?
My shocked face must’ve put him on edge because he continued, “we have time, of course… take your time”
“I don’t have feelings for Max,” I say quietly.
His eyes search my face, “you don’t?”
“No… um…” I try to think of a way to explain my actions, “I had to pick one of you and um…. well he was the most forthcoming with information”
“I can be forthcoming” von Graf retorts to which I raise my eyebrows, “fine, I can be more forthcoming” he corrects.
We just stare at each other for a moment. I don’t know for his part, but I don’t know what to say to this man. He is both the love of my life and a man I barely know.
“You are okay with the fact that Max turned me?” I have to ask.
Von Graf flinches but replies, “Mr. Weiß didn’t turn you, Alexis, you are as human now as you were yesterday”
“But..?” Confusion washes over me. Max bit me, I know he did, and I blacked out. Is it possible he stopped in time? A small spark of hope lights within me.
“Surely, you don’t feel any different, Mäuschen. Or do you feel like drinking my blood?”
A wave of revulsion washes over me, combining with the exhaustion I already feel. Von Graf must see the look of disgust on my face because he smirks a little which makes him look so handsome it takes my breath away for a moment.
This man is mine or will be. He’s not happy, but he also isn’t sending me away.
“So” he begins in his deep voice, “if we are in agreement, I’ll have Albert take you home. Then, when you are ready, you call me.”
“Okay,” I say shyly. I feel relief, I feel tired, I feel sore from all my body has been through this evening.
“Good” von Graf then turns and opens the door to the hallway. Embarrassingly, I can already see that Albert and Hans have been waiting for us in the hall.
I steal myself and walk forward. When I reach the door I pause and look up at von Graf standing next to me.
“Thank you” the words come out softly.
His eyes soften a little, “I’ll be waiting for your call, Mäuschen”
Then I do something impulsive. I lean into him and give him a hug, my arms barely reaching around his hard body.
Von Graf stiffens, before relaxing and wrapping his arms lightly around me.
He smells wonderful, like… home. He smells like comfort and home. I grip him tighter, as though I could blend his body with mine, his sweater rubbing coarsely against my cheek.
I feel a hand on my hair, and feel von Graf begin to pet my head, “we’re going to be okay, Mäuschen”
“I know” I reply and I did.