Waindale

“Stay here? Now?”

Adam stands before me as I feel like the bed is starting to digest what’s fallen into its trap. I sit helplessly and hope that I’m swallowed before anything else can be said.

“I know it’s a big idea to throw out there.”

“Big?” I question sarcastically. “I-I—I knew something like this was going to happen. I walk into the house and act like it’s all casual, but I-I knew it couldn’t be that easy. I thought we were going slow?”

“I’ve been trying to, Wrenley. I want you to be comfortable; I just think that we would be better off living together,” he explains.

I glance down at my school uniform. I don’t feel like a teenager, or at least I’m not supposed to. Teenage girls don’t move into a house with the person they’re spending the rest of their life with. Teenage girls have fun and live freely. They flirt with boys and go to prom and suffer their first heartbreak. I can’t help but feel so conflicted. Again, I’m split in two. Part of me wants Adam and this life and everything all at once, but the other is mourning the loss of my young adulthood.

We haven’t even kissed properly! Ugh! “I don’t get why it has to be like this,” I say somewhat loudly and scoot off the bed. “Why can’t we just be normal? We aren’t supposed to live together for—I don’t know—a few years? You’re talking about things that I’m not supposed to worry about until I’m at least twenty-five. Maybe twenty-four if I’ve found the right person.”

Adam takes in a quick breath. “You’re talking about a human life. That isn’t how this works.”

“Well, maybe I don’t like the way this works. Maybe I want more time.”

We stay looking at one another until Adam walks off a bit. He crosses his arms and says, “I know this isn’t what you expected to be doing right now, but I need you to be around.”

“I am around. I see you every day now.”

“I can’t promise that I’ll be able to spend as much time with you these next few weeks. I can work out of the house part of the time, so if you’re here, we don’t have to be away from one another.”

I sit back on the bed and fall onto my back. My hair splays out around me and I stare at the ceiling. “So I’ll never see you?”

“You’ll see me, just not as often and for as long as you do now.”

“I hardly see you now, Adam. Hardly.”

Adam is somewhere around me, pacing. “That’s why I think this is best. We can have every night together, just as we were last night.”

My body tightens. The temptation is there. If I stay here with him, will he let his guard down? Will he finally be with me without worrying about a lack of control, without worrying too much about my well-being. I roll onto my side and see him standing at the end of the bed. He’s looking down at me.

“My mom will never let me,” I say. She’s the only thing standing in my way. Well, and Grandma too. “She’ll never let me move out and then in with you.”

“I thought the situation was explained to her?”

“Tali tried. My mom seems to get the fact that we’re going to be together no matter what she wants, but I don’t think she’s grasped the fact that we need to be together physically. Like, distance-wise. Proximity,” I mutter, trying to save myself from embarrassment. “And even if she somehow understands, there’s no way we could explain it to my Grandma without telling her everything. It’s just too complicated.”

“Stay tonight,” he says. “Think of it as a trial, and don’t worry about any complications.”

I push up on the bed, my hair falling off my shoulders. “You want me to stay here tonight? Like a sleepover?”

Adam, with his arms crossed and looking quite nice, nods.

“Can I have whatever I want for dinner? And we have to watch whatever movie I pick out without complaints. Oh, and I want a bubble bath in the big bathtub.”

“You can have whatever you like, but for someone who claims they aren’t demanding, you have quite a few demands,” he says.

“If I end up sleeping on the couch, then at least I’ll be full of good food.”

“Why would that happen?”

I give Adam a look. “You know what I mean. I had to convince you to lay in bed with me last night, and now what? You’re just going to be perfectly fine sharing a bed?”

He says nothing and watches me as I fall onto my back once more.

“It’s just a sleepover. Like we’re best friends,” I say while smiling to myself. Sometimes it’s fun to be a little cruel. This reminds me of what I told my mother—that Adam and I are not romantic at all, just two buddies hanging out. I doubt she believed me, though. “Have you ever been to a sleepover?”

Adam doesn’t respond, but I feel the bed move as if he has sat down. I peer up a little and see him at my feet, bent over with his elbows on his knees.

“No?” I continue. “Well, at a sleepover you’re supposed to eat and watch movies and paint nails and gossip. I guess we can talk about these girls at the Academy who are annoying me—and don’t worry, I’ll explain it from the very beginning. Then we can watch a movie. Oh, we can watch Clueless or Mean Girls or—”

“What about dinner?” He asks, looking back at me.

I boost up on my forearms and say, “We have to get a pizza. And popcorn. Maybe I should stop at home to get my pink pajamas with the little purple hearts. If I’m sleeping here, I need my stuff.”

Sometimes it’s easier to forget about the decisions and worries and expectations. Right now, I just want to use my time with Adam wisely. I don’t want to spend tonight discussing serious stuff. Tonight is for having fun together like the young people we are.

“I have things for you.”

“Okay, then I just have to text my mom. I’ll tell her I’m sleeping over at Vivianne’s.”

After I grab my phone and update my mom, I decide to take my bubble bath first. Adam gets me all that I need then tells me that he’ll be downstairs. He says that he’ll get some things done and that I can come get him once I’m finished. I lock the bathroom door anyway.

It takes a few minutes for the tub to fill up. I squeeze in some soap while it does so and swish my hand around to get bubbles going. My school uniform is left in a pile on the floor as I quickly step into the water. The bathtub at grandma’s is joined with the shower and is much too shallow to have a proper bath. Here I can sink down to my neck without my knees sticking out. I stay nearly fully submerged for what feels like an hour. Trying to relax, I let my mind go whenever it pleases, and suddenly it’s dark outside. I can see that the night has taken over through the window above me.

Knocking on the bathroom door causes my heart to shoot forward. I slip down in the tub and bring my hands up to the edges to steady myself.

“Everything okay in there?” Adam calls through the door.

I bite my lip and bring my head back. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a few.”

“I’m going to order the pizza. What would you like on yours?”

“Um. A Hawaiian one please,” I call back. When he doesn’t answer, I assume he heard me.

I drain the tub and dry myself with the white towels he gave me. I feel like I’m staying in a hotel and Adam has been my very patient butler. The thought of being here made me nervous at first, but now my anxiety faded. There’s nothing intimidating about pizza and a chick-flick. I’m glad Adam is going along with this for me.

On the bathroom counter are the clothes he pulled for me. I thought I was used to his scent by now, but when I shrug on his shirt, I need to lean against the sink for a moment. My fingers grab the soft fabric and squeeze it to my chest. Something about this moment has intoxicated me. I let my hair loose from the bun I put it in and pose a little in the mirror. I’m wearing Adam’s shirt, and I can’t help but fantasize.

Before leaving the bedroom, I stuff my uniform in my backpack and leave the bag there. Making my way through the house alone feels weird. I hear Adam’s voice once I get downstairs, so I follow it to the office that he showed me earlier. Peeking into the doorway, I’m surprised when I see Ben there as well.

“Oh, Wrenley,” Adam says, noticing me from behind the desk. He’s standing with his hands laid flat against the wood. Ben is on the other side, closest to me, and he turns around.

“Sorry, I didn’t know someone was here,” I confess.

“Neither did I,” Ben says and glances to Adam. “It’s nice to see you again, Wrenley.”

A blush blooms my face. “It’s nice to see you too. If I knew you were here I would have put on pants.”

Ben thinks it’s funny. It must be surprising to see me at the Academy all shy one day then here the next. I was having fun with my easy-going personality, but maybe I should put it on hold for a moment.

“Ben is just dropping something off. I’ll be in the family room in a minute, okay?”

I nod and give Ben a short little wave goodbye. The family room is on the other side of the house, so I make my way over and enter through the large archway. On the T.V. is the menu page to Clueless. My feet carry me to the screen and I look up at it, almost reaching out to touch it. He actually listened. Adam is really going to sit here with me and watch Clueless. If I knew that guys were like this then I would have shown interest in them much sooner.

I sit on the couch and listen as Adam walks Ben to the door. They say a quick goodbye and his footsteps grow in my direction. When Adam enters, I’m already looking at him, waiting.

“You remembered Clueless?” I ask, my voice laced with sweetness.

He walks over, looking to the screen. “This is what you want to watch, right?”

“I mean, yes, but I was just being annoying. I can watch this with Vivianne whenever.”

“No, no, let’s watch it. The pizza should be here soon,” he says and sits down with me.

I grab a throw blanket and cover my legs. Adam starts the movie and I find myself slowly moving closer to him. Every now and then I’ll adjust my seating position which really means scooting over. The only light in the whole room is from the screen and the hallway, resulting in a dimness that hides my secret glances. I can’t help but look at him.

At one point, he shifts and looks over only to find me two spots closer from where I was before. I swear I see him shake his head a little from the corner of my eye.

Suddenly he perks up and takes my eyes from the screen. “Is the pizza here?” I ask.

Adam stands up, and I sit up myself. I watch as he walks to the archway and looks into the hall.

“What is it?”

“Wait here,” he says and disappears. I ignore his order and follow behind him. Adam goes to the front door and opens it but not all the way, just enough for the frigid air to blow in. I stand back, hugging myself to avoid the gust. He then shuts the door and turns to me. “Go upstairs and lock the door.”

My arms drop to my sides. “Uh, what?”

“Wrenley, go upstairs and lock the bedroom doors,” he says sternly while coming to me. “There’s something outside.”

“What’s outside?”

My heart starts to beat heavily in my chest. Something about his voice—his face is unsettling.

“I’m going to go look. Please, do as I say.”

I swiftly grab his arm. “No. You can’t just go out there. W-What if it’s just the pizza?”

Adam takes my hand off of him. “It’s a rogue wolf. I can’t smell it. Please go upstairs. Now.”

“Rogue? Outside? Will it hurt people?”

Adam urgently takes me to the steps, scaring me even more. “Do as I say. Wait there until I knock.”

This time I listen. I force myself up the stairs even though what I want most is to stay with him, to stop him from going out there. I hurry down the hall and lock myself in the bedroom. My chest rises and falls as I shut off the lights. That’s what I used to do at my old house. Sometimes, when I was home alone, I would hear sounds outside. I would run to my bedroom, turn off the lights, and peek through my windows, hidden in the darkness. I would search the front yard for anything suspicious. One time it was a few kids throwing toilet paper at the house next door. It took them a couple of minutes, and I watched it all.

My eyes focus on the windows now. I tiptoe to the closest one and just barely look out it. There’s nothing, and again nothing out the next one. I follow the wall and look out the window that shows the back of the house. Behind is an open field, then there’s the forest that shoots up like an enormous wall. Something dark is moving in the distance, heading into the woods. It’s the large black wolf that I used to see plenty. It’s Adam. Why is he going in there? I wish I could run out and stop him.

Paranoid, I rush to the bed and climb under the covers. I pull them over my head and try to breathe. There’s a rogue out there and from the way Adam reacted, I know we’re in danger. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to imagine myself back home with my mom and grandma. By now we would be sat around the table eating dinner and talking about our days. I would be describing my day at school. Grandma might mention the weather or her garden. Mom might give us a few details about her newest writing project.

A howl sounds from outside, distant and sad. My grip on the blanket tightens. Was it Adam? Is he hurt? What if he doesn’t come back? Should I call Vivianne? A part of me doesn’t want to leave the bed. What if there is more than one? What if they’re surrounding the house, waiting to burst in and find me? My eyes begin to water. I don’t want to be torn apart by a giant beast—I want to be home in my own bed.

I say under the covers for what feels like hours, trembling and thinking the worst. Oddly, my mind goes to the T.V. and how I forgot to pause the movie.

My breathing settles and is replaced by stray tears. Words repeat again and again in my head. What if he doesn’t come back. What if he doesn’t come back.