Waindale

I watch Adam and he lays peacefully beside me, the morning sun just beginning to rise and trickle into our bedroom. Abstract shapes of yellow sun are cast over the room, rectangles stretched on the wood floor and the cream walls, and I used to stare at them before getting out of bed. But now that Adam is here with me, I can look at him like I used to. I used to lay here and listen to his steady breaths. It wasn’t often that I’d wake up before him, but with my father’s power, my sleep schedule has been anything but normal.

It’s not a new concept to me anyway—to be awake at all the wrong times.

Just as I note the pleasant silence, the bedroom door slowly opens. Ester pokes her head through, sees that I’m awake, then proceeds toward me with a tall glass of concentrated vitamins. She likes to juice things for me.

I hold my finger up to my lips and she nods, glancing over at her sleeping son. It’s a little weird having her in here with us, but I’d rather stomach these uncomfortable moments than lose her.

“Drink this,” she whispers, placing down the juice. “Yuke is getting breakfast ready. Should be about thirty minutes.”

I nod and sit up. “Let’s just let him sleep. He’s exhausted. I’m sure Ben can handle things for one more day, and tomorrow he can bring Adam up to speed.”

“He’s lucky you’re here,” Ester mutters, “because I wouldn’t be so kind. Adam’s father didn’t raise him to be an Alpha that abandons his pack. And I didn’t raise him to be a man that abandons his mate.”

“I have to take part of the blame for that one. We—well, we drive each other to do irrational, stupid things sometimes.”

She sighs. “Thirty minutes. Wake him for breakfast, please. He needs to eat something proper, something cooked.”

His mother leaves us, and I sip my juice, taking it to the bathroom with me while I clean up for the day. I shower and dry my hair, wash my face, brush my teeth—ever since his mother has been here, I’ve acclimated to a routine. Wake up. Juice. Get ready. Breakfast. I already see her sitting down at the table, waiting for me with her tea. At first her persistence and organizing were overwhelming, but now I realize that I have never felt more put-together. And because she is constantly looking after me, I don’t have to worry about my father. Ester keeps him at bay like my own personal guard.

The bathroom door gently pushes open. I dry my hands and look as Adam checks in. “Oh, did I wake you up?” I ask, placing down the hand towel. “I wanted you to sleep. There are about ten minutes until breakfast.”

“She’s still here, isn’t she?” He asks, his voice deep.

“Of course. I need her.”

His brow raises. “You want her to be here?”

“She’s taking care of me. She’s the only reason I haven’t lost my mind trying to figure out this pregnancy stuff. She knows everything, Adam.”

“From what she told me last night, it doesn’t sound like she’d leave if we tried, anyway, not until she has her grandchild in her arms.”

I smile to myself. “And she will. She will be a grandmother and will love me forever.”

He nears me, coming into the bathroom while saying, “Okay, but once the baby is out, so is she.”

“You’re going to have to get used to her being around again. I don’t think she’s just going to disappear once her grandchild is born. Obviously she’s going to want to take care of him and be here.”

“Him?” Adam questions.

I shrug. “It’s going to be a boy.”

“Now, I’m not a pregnancy expert like my mother, but isn’t it too early to know the gender? Or are you making predictions?”

“It’s a boy,” I say confidently. “I’m not predicting. I know it’s a boy. I knew it the second I woke up from my coma or whatever the hell happened to me.”

Adam takes a breath. He leans against the counter with his arms crossed. “I haven’t gotten used to it yet—all the baby talk.”

“I won’t rub it in. I know you don’t agree with my decisions, but hopefully, when all of this is over, you can appreciate what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to keep you alive.”

“We’re going to figure something out, alright? Nothing is ending. You aren’t going anywhere.”

I move past him and enter the bedroom to change.

“I mean it, Wrenley.”

As I collect my clothes, I tell him, “I know you do, but it’s not like the odds are in our favor. My father has been planning this for a very long time, so if there’s a way out, it’s not going to be obvious. Right now we just need to keep him far away so I can have the baby. After I know you’re safe, I’ll see what I can do.”

When I look back to Adam, he seems very frustrated. I know our helplessness against my father tortures him to no end, but all I can do is try to comfort him while I’m here.

“I know it’s not what you want to hear, but this was never supposed to be about us. I was born because of him. Brought here because of him. Mated to you because of him. Everything in my life stems back to him. I’m sorry the moon goddess chose you to be a part of this mess, so let me repay you while I can.”

“What if I don’t want to be okay without you?” He asks.

I shake my head. “You’re an Alpha. You don’t have a choice.”

Adam holds his tongue.

“Come on. We’re going to be late for breakfast.”

It’s difficult eating breakfast and pretending to be happy all so Adam’s mother doesn’t catch on to my impending doom, especially now that Adam is back. In Ester’s eyes, her son’s once useless mate might actually pull through, and there is nothing to be upset about. I’m pregnant. Adam is home. We are all gathered together. So when Adam comes downstairs and sits angrily at the table, she can’t help but question him.

“What is it?”

“Still exhausted, right? Being out there, shifted for so long must have taken a toll,” I try to cover for him. “I’m sure he’ll feel better tomorrow.”

He stares at me. He stares as if this is the last time he’ll get to look upon my face. It breaks my heart to ignore his pain. I wish I could promise him that I’ll be here forever, but I know it’s impossible. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.

Adam sighs. He leans back and nods.

Ester’s eyes linger, but she’s quick to move on. “I was thinking we could go to the market,” she tells me. “It might be nice to get out of the house while Ben updates Adam.”

“I-I thought he was going to do that tomorrow?”

“No,” Adam cuts in, “today is fine. I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“I agree,” his mother says.

“Well, I thought we could spend the day together. Y-You just got back and I feel like I’ve hardly seen you at all. Can’t we just do this all tomorrow?”

Ester reaches across the table and places her hand comfortingly on top of my own. I don’t feel very comforted, though. “You’ll have plenty of time together tonight. But, we have to let Adam get back into the swing of things. His absence put the entire pack at risk, and he has to do damage control. He has to mend his reputation, and the best way to do so is to get right back to work.”

I look to him for clarity, but he says, “I’ll see you tonight. I just have to assure everyone that I’m still capable.”

I can’t play stupid and say that it doesn’t make sense. I wouldn’t want anyone doubting Adam’s ability to be Alpha. After swallowing my deprivation for one more day, I finish breakfast, dress myself, and prepare to leave for the town with Ester. As she buttons up her heavy coat and steps into her boots, I ask, “Did Adam leave? I wanted to say goodbye.”

“Yes, Ben got him while you were upstairs.”

There’s a feeling in my chest—a tight, unnerved one that has my mind conjuring anxious thoughts. “I don’t feel well,” I tell her.

She pauses and looks to me. “Is it the baby?”

“No. I just—something doesn’t feel right. Maybe we shouldn’t go.”

“Wrenley, there is nothing to worry about. Adam will be fine and you will see him tonight at dinner.”

I roll my lips together and take my shoes as she hands them to me. My fingers are shaky as I lace up my own boots, causing Ester to crouch down and tie them for me.

“There is nothing to worry about,” she repeats.

“I-I have a bad feeling. I don’t think I should leave Adam alone.”

“He isn’t alone. He’s with Ben, and surely they’re around many others as well.”

I cross my arms. “I just—”

“You’ve been in the house too long,” Ester concludes. “You’ve become a paranoid hermit. You used to like coming to the market with me.”

“I know, and I do, but I don’t feel right leaving Adam, not today.”

“He just got back and suddenly he’s gone again; I know it can be frustrating, but he has responsibilities.”

“The last thing I want is to stop him from doing his job, but i don’t feel right, not today. He should be with me.”

She studies me for a moment then asks, “Would you feel better if we went to see him?”

“Can we go to him? Do you know where he is?”

“I know that they’re heading to the northern border.”

“Then we have to go there. I have to get him,” I tell her. “I know I sound crazy, but you have to believe me when I say that I have a bad feeling. I know something is wrong. I need to get to him.”

Adam’s mother thinks again about my words. It’s as if I can see her thoughts processing through the black of her eyes.

“Alright,” she says. “Let’s go. Come on.”

She drives us down a road I’ve never been on before, and it suddenly turns to dirt. I realize it’s because I’ve never been this north of Waindale, an area close to the mountains and blanketed by dense forest. The ground is uneven and rocky, bouncing me around in my seat. When I stare out at the trees, they seem to carry on forever, never thinning out, only becoming thicker, so close that they seem to grow into each other like conjoined twins. Around grandma’s house, you can see the ocean between them, spots of blue luring you in. Something is luring me in here, too—but it is not the ocean or the view from the cliff—it is something much more complicated.

The unsettled feeling only grows worse, nearly taunting me as each minute passes that I’m not with Adam. It’s dread. Apprehension. Before I’ve felt terrible things when away from him, but this isn’t like that. I’m not deprived. I don’t feel malnourished. It’s as if someone is hunting him, wanting to hurt him, take him from me—would he? Would my father do something so horrific?

“Are we close?” I ask, impatient.

Ester seems stressed by the road, overwhelmed by its dips and over-growth. Just as her lips part, the car jolts strangely. She mutters something and glances to the side mirror. She slows, but I soon realize that it wasn’t just another bump.

“What is it?”

We come to a complete stop, and she gets out of the car. I follow suit and quickly come around to her side. She’s examining the front, right tire. “There’s a tear. It’s popped,” she breathes. “It must have snagged on a rock or—there’s a spare. In the trunk. I can change it, but it will take me a minute. Don’t go anywhere.”

“I can help.”

“No. No,” she refuses, “you just stand by the car. Don’t strain yourself.”

“I won’t lose the baby by lifting a tire,” I assure her.

“I don’t care. I’m not risking anything.”

It’s her baby too. I want to make her happy, but we don’t have time for this. “Where is the border? ”

Ester stares at me. “No.”

“I have to get to him.”

“Wrenley, just give me a minute.”

“You don’t understand,” I say, painfully anxious. “I can’t wait. I need to get to him.”

“What is it?” She insists. “What is it? What is so terrible? Why do you have to get to him? Why are you so scared? He’s with Ben. He’s the Alpha—just let him be a good Alpha.”

“Ester please!”

She storms up to me, grabs my shoulders. “Adam is fine. Alright? You have to be strong, Wrenley. If you aren’t strong, you will lose the baby. You can’t lose the baby.”

“This isn’t about the baby. Adam isn’t safe. I can feel it.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t he be safe?”

“He’s coming for him.”

She lets go. “What are you—”

“He’s coming. I can feel it. He’s going to hurt him.”

“Who? Who, Wrenley?”

The word is on the tip of my tongue—father. But when she asks who, I don’t want to say my father; I want to tell her that something evil, something dark is stalking Adam and he has no mercy for life beneath him. Adam has come home, but maybe he was safer out there, far away from me.

John Aymon said Adam was nothing but a restraint put on me by the moon goddess, so what if he’s decided to free me of such restrictions?

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know what really he is. Who he really is. But he will kill him. He will kill Adam.”