Waindale

I think about the times he’s begged me to listen. I think about the moment he held me so tightly and pleaded for me to stay alive—to hide when he says hide; run when he says run. There are things in this world that could rip me apart. There are monsters that hide in the shadows, but little did I know that I would be one of them. Adam couldn’t protect me from myself, though. I was constantly preparing for the day my father would take me, yet when the time finally came I felt so blindsided. There was nothing I could do. I promised him time—I didn’t know how much—but I told him that we would at least have a little. Time to have my baby. Time to plan a rebuttal. Time to say goodbye.

Either I left with him, or he killed Adam.

I close my eyes and imagine Adam’s arms around me, remembering just how safe I felt in his hold. Remembering only intensifies the utter loneliness I feel now, but if I don’t indulge in memories, it will begin to feel like such things never happened in the first place. The reality of Adam and my time with him will fade, and I worry that he will feel the same as well.

The mate bond feels like a bruise that’s slowly healing over time. I want to press my fingers into it—feel the ache—but with every day that passes, there is less and less to feel. I stare out into the blackness and picture his yellow eyes slicing through. I indulge in silence just to convince myself that his voice sounding in my mind is real noise.

I don’t want Adam to forget about me, but I don’t want him to hurt without me either.

So, in hope that it subsides his pain, I pray that his bruise heals. I pray that he forgets about me.

My father often vanishes and returns to earth. He tells me he’s gathering our followers, our pack of sorts. He told me that it has been a process he’s been working on for a long time, winning the loyalty of rogues and other misunderstood creatures. When he told me about Adam’s brother, I nearly let a tear fall from my eye.

Years ago he tried to win over the loyalty of Alphas, of her Alphas. He promised the insecure, younger children of Alpha blood power if they overthrew their siblings. He wanted to turn her children against her, but they weren’t strong enough, mentally or physically, or weren’t willing to kill their brothers. My father has been desperate to diminish her power, but the only followers of hers that are eager for revenge are the ones her society has shunned.

My father has ordered rogues to attack and kill pack members, and I can’t help but think of Waindale and Adam’s grandfather. That war in Waindale so long ago was started because my father’s followers killed members of the other pack and pinned it on Adam’s. He’s the puppet master behind every disaster, behind every accident, behind Adam’s pain. I can help but feel helpless. He’s playing God, but not a god worth worshipping.

It’s a house—the place he’s keeping me. But there is nothing outside. There are no views out the windows because there is nothing but darkness. Every time I peer through, I stare death in the face. It is so black that my brain cannot comprehend what it is looking at.

I think about my family and what they’re doing. I wonder if they’re panicking over my disappearance or if they even know that I’m gone at all. This place defies all logic, and when considering time, I’ve concluded that it doesn’t exist here. Nothing really exists here. This place—this darkness is nothing. It reminds me of the blankness of my coma. The only thing that would reflect progression is the size of my belly, but it doesn’t grow. Yet, I still feel life inside, and that keeps me going.

Every time I see my father, I fear that he’ll take the life away, so every time we both make it through, I have something worth celebrating.

Although I am I prisoner of this sealed fortress, it is not all bad. I try to learn from him whenever I can.

“Wrenley.”

He’s here, but I don’t turn from the window. I look out at the inky nothing and keep my lips sealed.

“It is almost time. Soon we will return together and you will take your place as Luna. Isn’t that what you have wanted, my child?”

A steady breath pours out of me. “No,” I murmur. “I only wanted to be Luna because Adam was the Alpha.”

“It is better this way,” he says. “One leader. Our blood.”

“And when I die?”

“You will have an heir. You will pass our blood as I did.”

I turn suddenly, unable to control the wave of emotion rushing inside. ”What? Like you did? To some random human? I-I’d never—no.”

“Don’t let such distant things consume you now. All you must do is adjust to the power I have given you; all of your power.”

“I already have an heir,” I mutter and turn away. “I will not be making another. I will not be pregnant with anyone else’s child.”

“That child is contaminated.”

I scoff. “Then make another child of your own. Replace me.”

My father is silent for a moment. I grow curious but refrain from looking back at his face in search of answers.

“If I let you keep this child, will you be happy?”

“Yes,” I breathe without a second thought. Now I just have to get out of here so my baby can grow. I have to feel the wonderful ground of Waindale beneath my feet again so Adam can at least know that I’m still alive.

His footsteps become distant. “I will be going.”

“Take me with you.”

When I spin, he’s gone.

I stare at the empty space before me as my chest sinks. He’s always here so suddenly and gone too soon.

I wonder where I am—where this house truly is. I don’t want to believe that I’m nowhere, but believing I’m in hell seems like a worst possibility to nothing. There’s no fire, no screams of the damned, but I suppose reality isn’t always accurately portrayed in the books I read or movies I watch. Or maybe my father’s prisoners are out in the blackness, forever wandering in the dark.

The house has hallways with no doors, stairs that ascend into the ceiling, and nothing to eat. I haven’t had food since I was brought here, but I haven’t been hungry either. Now that my baby isn’t growing, I have no need to eat again. I have nothing to do all day but roam this place and think about Adam.

I took every moment with him for granted. Of course, if I had the chance to do it all over I would share my true feelings much sooner. I would cherish each second and stay far away from my father for as long as possible. What I would do to be lying beside him in our bed—anything. I would run out into the darkness in the hope that earth is on the other side. I would burn this house and tear my father apart.

I can’t be here for a second longer.

I would do anything to wrap my arms around him and feel his kiss on the top of my head.

I need to know how he does it; how my father vanishes back to earth. If there is even the slightest possibility that I can do it too with my full potential restored, then I’ll search this house as if it reflects his mind. There’s a library of books in a language I’ve never seen, yet I can’t help but understand it. I’ll read every page. I-I’ll do anything to feel him again.