Waindale

Once I make it back home and dress behind the house, I come to the front and find him leaving through the front door. “Adam!” I call and hurry towards him. “Where are you going?”

He takes a breath. “Good, you’re back. Stay inside—my mother is on her way. She’ll stay with you here.”

“But where are you going? Don’t tell me you’re going with them into the mountains.”

“No. I’m going to the north border to meet the group when they arrive back. I made some calls and sent Ben to the town hall.”

“I—okay. When will you be back?” I ask, tired of being apart. It feels like every time we are reunited, something is wedged between us, keeping us from each other. I miss the days when our biggest worry was whether or not my mom would be woken by him sneaking through my bedroom window. I miss the times when we had hours and hours to spend laying in bed together, or eating dinner together, or even just being in the house at the same time.

Adam’s lips part, but he has no definite answer. “It depends on what the group sees out there. If the rogues have disbanded, then I’ll be back soon.”

“And if not?”

He brings me against him, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

“Just don’t go up there if they’re still together.”

Adam continues to console me as if he’s already died. I push away and look up at his face. “I mean it,” I press. “Please.”

“If the rogues are still unified, we will devise a plan. There won’t be any rash decisions, okay?”

“But those plans involve you, right? I-I don’t understand. Don’t you have people that can fend them off? Why are you being put at risk? You’re the Alpha.”

“Exactly,” he says, bringing his hands to my shoulders. “I’m the Alpha. There’s no better person for the job. It’s what we do.”

“Fight?”

“Protect,” Adam tells me, looking into my eyes.

I take in a sharp breath, knowing there is nothing I can say to convince him to stay here with me. He leans down to kiss me goodbye, but I turn my head, not wanting to say goodbye. He never belonged to me. He was never made for me. He was made for them—the pack.

“W-What do I do if you don’t come back? What happens to all of this? To me and your family and the pack?”

Adam can’t help but let an amuse chuckle escape him. Confused and taken-back, I swiftly look to him. “I’m going to come back,” he says.

“How do you know? You don’t know what could happen. It’s not like you’d go up there to talk it out. It’s dangerous.”

“It would be dangerous, but I’m not going to die. I don’t die, Wrenley. Not by some rogues, anyway.”

I cross my arms. “If it’s just some rogues, then let me come with you.”

“No.”

“I’m like you now, I can—”

Adam says, “Don’t try to convince me. You’re staying here, alright?”

“Well, I suppose it was worth a shot.”

He comes close again but I hold my hand out, placing my palm against his chest as his unshaven face is inches from mine. “I have to go,” he says.

“I-I know, but—but after all of this, fighting or not,” I swallow, “will it be over?”

“It was over the second she sent him back; the moment she changed you.”

“What if he comes back? I mean, there had to be a way for him to come here without links. The first time he came to earth, he had none.”

Adam’s grip tightens on me. “Your father is gone. You can’t live in fear that he will return someday.”

I nod, showing him that I’m letting my worries go even though they are embedded in my mind. Finally, I let him kiss me, and I can’t help but let a tear slide down my cheek as he does so. He pulls back and sees my tear, and he wipes it away while telling me, “There’s no need for that. I’ll see you soon.”

My fingers softly touch my lips as I watch him leave. There isn’t even a moment to wallow because the second he vanishes from my sight, his mother pulls into the driveway, her tires grinding against the gravel, scrambling my thoughts. She pops the car door and calls to me, “Did he just leave?”

I sigh and clear up my face. “Uh, yeah. He’s going to the border.”

“I knew you would be back,” she says as she makes her way to the porch. “I kept telling him that you were fine because by now I know better than to believe that you could leave my son alone in this world. Now you better be okay. How’s the baby?”

She looks up to me from the bottom step. When I fail to provide an answer, she steps up each step until her motherly expression is too close to ignore. “What is it? You better just say it.”

“There is no more baby,” I murmur. “I’m sorry. He didn’t survive.”

Ester stiffens. She straightens up. “And—and my son knows this?”

I nod. “He knows.”

“I—well—we knew it was a risk from the start, didn’t we? I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did, and despite the lack of a grandchild, I’m still proud of you. I don’t think any other human would have lasted even a fraction of the time.”

“Ester—”

“Don’t let this get you down. We can come up with a solution. This doesn’t have to be the end.”

“Ester I didn’t lose the baby because I’m human. I lost him because I’m not.”

She surveys me, glancing up and down at my seemingly human body, the same body I’ve always had.

“Something happened to me while I was gone. It’s a very long and complicated story but—”

“Yes, yes, complicated and long, sure, but what?”

My eyebrows raise. “Oh, well I saw the moon goddess. She came to me. She—”

“Oh sweet goddess she made you one of us, didn’t she? She made you into a shifter so you and my son can be together. Didn’t she, Wrenley?”

“How did you—”

“I prayed for this,” she says, taking all the credit. “I did. Every night. I begged her to just make you one of us, and I know it may be problematic or wrong but she listened! She heard me and came to you and now everything will be okay.”

“Yes,” I breathe, going along with it, “she did. When she came to me, she said exactly that.”

Ester happily brings her hand to her face, dabbing the wetness from her eyes before anything can pour out. “I knew it. I knew my persistence would be worth something. Come, let’s go inside. You have to tell me every word she said.”

“It was the last day of our trip that she came to me. My father had gone to bed but I was still awake, missing Adam. She, uh, she said that we were meant to be together, but not like this. She heard your prayers and knew that I had to be one of you. I knew that changing would mean my baby wouldn’t make it, but she promised to watch over him. He’s safe with her now,” I explain.

Ester sighs. “It is always a great loss to lose a child, Wrenley. It is one you will never forget. When I lost my son—Adam’s younger brother—I didn’t understand how the world could continue to turn without him, but it does, whether you want it to or not.”

“But my baby was, well, a baby. He was never born. How can he be compared to his brother?”

“A woman’s child is a woman’s child. Just because you never got to hold yours, doesn’t mean he will be forgotten. Just because you can have more children now, doesn’t mean he was meaningless.”

I nod, my hands squeezing one another in my lap as we sit in the living room. She’s in the same spot she was those months ago when she told me that Adam and I could never be together.

“I’m glad you’re back, honey. And I would be whether you came back like this or as a human.”

“Thank you,” I say softly.

“Now,” she announces and brings her hands down on her legs, “should we prepare dinner for when they get back?”

“Adam’s father—he’s with Adam?”

“Of course. And I’m sure they’ll be starving by the time all of this is over with.”

My eyes follow her as she stands. “What if something bad happens? What if they really have to fight?”

“Then I’m sure they’ll be even more hungry. Come. Yuke is staying safe at home, so we will have to fend for ourselves in the kitchen.”

As I trail behind her, I ask, “Aren’t you worried?”

“No. Such feelings left me many years ago, Wrenley.”

“So this is something I’ll have to get used to; Adam putting himself in danger?”

“Being Luna isn’t fun and games. When the world seems to be falling apart, we stay strong. We have to be. You have to trust that my son knows what he’s doing.”

“I-I do. I know Adam can take care of himself, but I’m still scared. Anything can happen out there, and I’m just stuck in here.”

She turns to me. “It’s different once you have a child or two to take care of. They may be crying, pack members may be coming to your door for answers, your mate will be goddess knows where, and you’ll have to handle it with a brave face. But I know you’re strong. I know you can handle it.

“You’ll realize that your need to care for your family extends to the pack because they are your family too. When they’re frightened, they will need to see that you are not.”

“I can do that,” I think out loud.

As I help Ester in the kitchen, grabbing and seasoning and mixing whatever she pleases, a knock comes to the door. My eyes shoot to her, and she calms me with a descending hand. She tells me to watch the stove as she answers it, and soon she returns with Ben close behind her. My body relaxes at the sight of him.

Without a greeting, I ask, “Was there a warning put out?”

“There was,” he confirms, “something about a bear and her cubs wandering through neighborhoods.”

“You think that will keep people inside?”

He shrugs. “If anything, they’ll be alert. But I thought I would stop in to see you before meeting Adam at the border. He told me you were back.”

“Yeah, right. I went on a sudden trip with my Dad.”

I’m not sure what exactly Adam told everyone concerning my sudden disappearance. The last time his mother saw me I was wandering into the forest alone to find him, but it’s not like he can say I was stolen by my godly father who has been stalking me and feeding me my own evil mana. Yet, whatever excuse he conjured seemed to keep questions at bay.

“Don’t you remember Adam saying she is with her father?” Eater asks Ben.

“That’s right. He did. Well, what a situation to come back to. It’s not every day you have rogues banding together.”

I sigh. “Just look out for each other out there, okay?”

“We always do,” he assures me. “I’ll get going. I’m sure the scouts should be back any minute now.”

“Here,” Ester steps forward, “you can go through the back door. And be sure to come back here with Adam when you’re done. We’ll have enough food to feed an army.”

Their voices fade, and I promptly hear the opening and closing of the door.

There have been countless times where I had nothing to do but wait to see my mate’s face—wait to see if he is coming back to me. Sometimes he would promise, and other times he wouldn’t, but either way, an encumbering feeling of unease would slither around in my body, prodding and yearning to escape. I remember what it feels like to be without him now. My father’s power numbed such deprivation, but it’s back with a painful familiarity. I sit on the steps of the back porch and wait for him in the cold that again fails to chill me.

As I stare out at the trees, I can’t help but imagine my father standing between them, watching me, waiting. I want to believe that the moon goddess can keep him from me, but I know things can’t be so simple. The question plays over and over in my head; how did he come here in the first place? My mind aches from contemplating all the possible ways, but what gnaws at my sanity even more is the fact that I may never know.

I peer up at the cloudy sky, searching for a meteorite on a path of collision.

It’s not in a rogue’s nature to live in a pack. Their very title defies all conformity, but what if my father was powerful not only by physical means but by manipulation? How do I know if anything he said to me—things I believed far too quickly—is true at all? He convinced rogues to fight together. Now how many things did he convince me of? For one, I actually believed that my child would have been spared.

I may never know who exactly he is, or why he has such plans of domination. I may never know where I was while in my coma, or where he kept me—where time stood still and nothing but blackness seemed to exist. There are so many things I will consider and pick-apart for the rest of my life, yet the only way any of it seems bearable is with Adam to distract me—to pull me back to earth when I feel like my head is in the clouds.

I think about Vivianne and Imogen and my friends. I think about my mom and grandma being close by, there whenever I need them. I think about Adam’s mother and the acceptance I feel regardless of what I am. There are classes at the academy, and being Luna, and lunches at the diner or drinks at Barb’s. There’s walks through town or runs through the forest. And there’s Adam. Always Adam.

There’s our bickering rooted in the utter fear of losing one another. There’s our days and nights when no amount of touching will suffice. There are times to reminisce and memories to create, and I will always try my best to run when he says run no matter how desperately I want to stay.

I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I stand my ground and fight beside him anyway.

If I close my eyes, I can picture the memory that’s surfacing in the back of my mind.

I was sitting on my bed, waiting for him. The warmth from my pink lampshade reflected around the room and out my bedroom window; a signal for him to find his way home. It was so dark that night. The moon was shielded by thick, heavy clouds, yet I knew that nothing could hurt him. He was the most dangerous thing in those woods.

I gaze up from my bent knees and look out at the open field before me. My chest swells and fills with air when I see him coming through the trees, emerging and shaking off whatever commotion he was juggling at the border.

I stand on the steps and wait until he’s made his way through the grass, waiting until he’s stood just in front of me.

“I told you,” he says, relieved. “But I have good news. The group we sent to scout out the mountains found abandoned camps. There were a few strays still hanging around, but they should be cleared out by tomorrow. There were possibly hundreds of rogues in the area, but I’m guessing that they gave up once your father didn’t return.”

My eyes dart around to different features of his face.

“I’m not sure what other packs are finding, but we should be fine. Wrenley? Are you hearing me?”

“Yeah,” I breathe. “I am. W-We’re going to be fine.”

He crosses his arms. “My father, Ben, and a few others are heading over, but I better check to see if I have any messages.”

Adam moves past me but stops at the door once he notices my stillness. “Wrenley?”

“What now?”

“What now?” He questions.

I turn to face him. “Now what? What’s next?”

“Well, we see what other packs are finding, if any rogues are still united.”

“But for us. Here. If I’m one of you, if my father is gone, if the rogues have left—now what?”

Adam’s shoulders relax and realization consumes his expression. He steps back to me and runs his fingers down my hairline and behind my ear. “Now is the good part,” he says.

“The good part?”

He nods. “Now we enjoy ourselves.”

I shake my head. “That—that doesn’t sound right. Since when do we do that?”

“Come on.”

Adam takes my hand and leads me inside.

“Maybe we can enjoy ourselves a little,” I say. “You know, until the next thing.”

THE END