Voyeur (A student/teacher romance) (Voyeur Series)

CALLUM

I hadn’t called her the next day, and I’d been evasive in my text messages.

I hadn’t seen her either. In fact, I called in sick.

I wasn’t sick.

I was hungover.

After she’d left, I’d begun drinking at lunch, just sitting around imagining her at Voyeur. What she was doing. Who she was with. Who was watching her. I’d stayed in my empty home and drank one glass after another, feeling my control quickly evaporating. It’d been years since I’d let myself slip into a loss of control, since I’d let my anger determine my actions. I’d fought hard to gain it and there I was letting it eat me alive.

How far would I slip before I did something I’d regret, said something I’d regret? Would I be able to hang on until she finished working at Voyeur? How long would that be?

What would I look like as a person by that point? What would we look like?

When I finally saw her in class on Tuesday, she smiled at me like I wasn’t a broken man barely holding it together.

She looked at me like I was normal, like I was whole, and it took everything I had not to go to her and kiss her. How was I supposed to make it through the rest of the semester

without looking at her with my whole heart in my eyes? It was so much more than attraction. Each time I saw her, my chest felt like it was going to explode with emotion for her.

She was my Halley’s Comet. Only coming once in a lifetime.

“Miss Derringer,” I called to her as everyone packed up to leave. “Could you please come to the physics office with me? Donna needs you to sign some papers.”

She walked by my side in silence. The tension between us palpable. As though if we spoke, the tension would snap wide open, scream to everyone around us that we were intimate. That we were fucking.

As soon as I found a hallway with no one in it, I turned.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

I didn’t answer, reading every sign on the door looking for the right one.

Maintenance Room.

I looked side to side one more time and opened the door, pulling her in behind me. At the click of the latch, I turned her and pinned her, my mouth immediately on hers, needing to taste her. I’d missed her and hated that I’d stayed away, that I hadn’t called, that I hadn’t reached out to her. She gasped for air when I finally released her lips, moving down her throat.

“Are you okay?” she breathed the question. “Donna said you were sick. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled into her shoulder, unwilling to remove my lips from her skin. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Callum, I—”

But her words were cut off because I’d tugged down her over-sized sweater and bit her nipple through the lace of her bra. I felt like a teenage boy, desperate to be inside her now that I’d had her.

She moaned when I pulled the lace aside and laved at the tender bud and sucked it between my lips. Her hands fumbled with the buckle of my pants and I dug my hand

into her hair like it was my anchor in this moment. Like it kept me from falling back into my past.

“Callum,” she breathed. “Who’s about to suck on your cock?”

My hips thrust forward against her searching hand.

“You,” I moaned.

“Say my name.”

“Oaklyn. The most beautiful woman in the world is going to fall to her knees and wrap her sexy as sin lips around my dick and suck me.”

She moaned as she slipped out of my hold, falling to her knees to suck me inside her mouth. She flicked her tongue along the underside, tonguing the slit on the head.

Even in the dimly-lit room, I could look down and see her staring back up at me, holding my eyes, reminding me that it was her. Fuck, I loved her so much. Loved her for knowing what to do. Loved her for everything she was.

“Oaklyn. I need to be inside you.”

She let go of my shaft with a pop and stood, turning around to face the door as her hands went to her leggings to pull them down.

I halted her movement. “No.”

A shiver wracked my body and I swallowed hard, fighting off the memory, the shame attached to it.

She immediately turned and put her hands on my cheeks, making me look at her. “It’s just me.”

Her soft voice, calmed the churning of my stomach and tethered me to the present. I stared into her golden eyes and held them as I leaned in to press a kiss to her lush lips.

Then I pushed her back against the door again and worked her leggings down her legs, only getting one foot out before I grabbed her bottom and hoisted her up high enough to fit my cock to her opening. I worked her slowly onto me, spreading her wetness with each push until finally I was fully inside of her.

With our foreheads pressed together, eyes locked on each other, our breath mixing between us, I slid out and back in. She held my gaze the whole time. Her wetness grew until it coated my balls, and I began pounding into her faster. Trying to hold her hips away from the door to keep from making any noise. It didn’t take long before we were both on the edge of the precipice, her brows furrowed with the effort to not let her lids slide closed.

Electricity zipped down my spine and pulled my balls up tight. Leaning in, I locked my lips to hers and moaned out my pleasure. I gripped her hips, holding myself as deeply inside of her as possible as her cunt spasmed around my cock, her sweet moans of pleasure only serving to intensify my own.

My body shook in aftershocks and our gasping breaths echoed around us, seeming so loud that the entire campus could hear, but I knew it was just us in our bubble.

Satisfaction settled in my bones, reminding me that she was mine. That this was where I wanted to be. That she was my salvation.

I slipped out of her and set her down before grabbing a paper towel from a shelf and cleaned her up. She smiled and gently kissed me through it.

“I missed you yesterday. I’m assuming you’re feeling better now?”

“Much.”

Once we were both situated again, I asked, “Do you want to come over tonight?”

She looked away and I knew before she even said it.

“I can’t. I have to work.”

I fought to keep my expression neutral but failed. It was hard enough to deal with it before, but now that we’d had sex—made love—it damn near crushed me.

“I’m sorry, Cal.”

“It’s okay,” I lied. “I understand.”

She gave me one last kiss and then I told her I’d go ahead of her and message her that the coast was clear. She had to go to her next class and told me she’d see me tomorrow.

I somehow finished out the day with less than stellar concentration. My mind constantly on Oaklyn, ruled by the jealousy that created a rage that scared me. My control seeming to live on the edge of here and gone.

How long would I be able to walk the line before I snapped? What would Oaklyn do when it did? What if I walked that line and ended up falling into a hole I couldn’t get out of, just for her to leave me? The whole day these thoughts swirled around me. When I got home, I immediately went to the kitchen for a drink, but then paused looking at the time. Almost eight. She’d be working.

Hopping in my car, I headed to Voyeur. If she was performing for me, then she wouldn’t be for anyone else.

I’d buy her whole damn night to keep her from others.

She saw me enter and a smile lit up her face that reached me from all the way across the bar. I fought to pull her across the counter and kiss me once I reached her and instead ordered a water. I downed it and wasted no time.

“I’m going to put in a request. Make sure you take it.”

“I don’t have my name available tonight.”

My chest swelled with that information, joy filling the holes that had popped up the past few weeks. Looked like I didn’t need to buy her whole night because she wasn’t performing for others, but I still wanted to have time with her. Just because an employee didn’t have their name available, didn’t mean you couldn’t still request them.

“Make sure you accept the request,” I said with a nod as I stood from the stool.

She smiled, hopefully just as excited as me for the next hour.

I went to the iPad and entered the information, feeling like the scenario was perfect for us.

When I finished and walked into the main area again, I searched for Oaklyn since she was missing from the bar. I found her out on the floor among the patrons and rage slammed into me like a freight train, almost knocking me down, stealing the air from my lungs.

She stood at a table, delivering drinks, smiling, leaning down, exposing her creamy cleavage so a man could whisper in her ear, his eyes glued to her breasts. She laughed at whatever he said and then spoke close to his ear. I wanted to rip the man limb from limb.

I forced my body to turn and head to the bar where I threw back a double shot of whiskey, needing anything to calm my nerves. By the time my wrist band vibrated to let me know the room was ready, I was able to breathe again, but my muscles still twitched with tension. It didn’t matter because the next hour, Oaklyn was mine.

I walked back to the room and situated myself in the darkened corner, staring out over the row of desks and the teacher’s desk up front. After only a few minutes Oaklyn came in, her long, bare legs drawing my attention first. She looked so young strolling into the pseudo classroom in cut off jean shorts and chucks, but the loose lacy top that barely contained her breasts promised me she was all woman.

She looked around the room as she approached the front, taking in the setting before turning over her shoulder to look at me with a smirk.

“Fantasy of yours?”

“Pretty much all I think about in class every time you’re sitting there in the front row.” I stood and began making my way to her. “Don’t act like you don’t think the same thing when you come in with your lips painted red, making me pay attention to you. Making me remember the way they look stretched around my dick.”

“Maybe,” she said, shrugging.

“Tease.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

I stood right in front of her, her head tilted all the way back to stare up at me. “Have you ever been spanked, Miss Derringer?” If I shifted my gaze below her chin and blew hard enough, I’d be able to shift her shirt and see her pert nipples. Is that what other men in the room could see too? I could feel my face flinch but pushed for a neutral look awaiting her answer.

Her tongue slicked across her lips and she shook her head. “Another fantasy?”

“I have no idea, but I’d love to try with you.” Honestly, I had a hard time thinking past anything other than being inside of her as much as possible. Being with her as much as possible. Keeping her as my own as much as possible.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and stood on her tiptoes to kiss my chin. With her fingers in my hair, she directed me down to her lips. “Maybe we’ll have to figure it out sometime, Dr. Pierce.”

With a growl, I began feasting at her lips, tasting her, claiming her. I gripped her slim waist and hoisted her up on the desk and wedged myself between her thighs. She rocked her hips against my erection behind my slacks and stars burst before my eyes.

“Callum,” she whispered. “Yes.”

I placed a few more desperate kisses to her lips, but then stopped to pull back and just take her in. She was so beautiful and so full of life. The way she looked up at me, her eyes glazed in passion and desire, a spark of something else hidden in them and I wanted to know. I opened my mouth to ask but froze wondering how many others she’d given that look to. Jackson? Anyone behind the glass that had requested that they wanted the performer to look at the wall so they could feel more a part of the scenario?

I leaned down to kiss her again, trying to erase the thoughts from my mind, but they were like drums in my head, and I couldn’t let them go no matter how hard I tried.

And like a glutton for punishment, as though knowing she worked there wasn’t enough, I asked anyways.

With my lips pressed to hers, I pulled back just enough to ask, “Have you done anything with anyone?” The thought of Jackson even pretending to have his hands on her sent a rage boiling through my blood.

She stopped kissing me all together and pulled back completely. She wouldn’t even look me in the eye and I prepared myself for the worst. I prepared myself for the yes.

“No, Cal. I’ve turned down all requests.” I wanted to smile at her answer. The euphoric feeling spread through me and my lips twitched to show my pleasure. However, her pained expression halted the smile. She wasn’t hiding because she was scared to admit she’d done something.

She was hiding because she was embarrassed that she had to even explain. I’d made her feel that. I’d made her look down and hunch her shoulders because of my own insecurity. I did that to her and it was almost more painful than the thought of her being with another man. “I’ve been working the bar. Extra to closing almost every night I can just to make up the cash because I have a payment to the school soon.”

“Let me pay for it.” It slipped off my tongue and fell between us. I hadn’t planned to say it, I hadn’t even really thought of it before, but I wanted to make her life easier.

“Let me pay for the rest of the year.” I wanted to help, and it seemed like such a perfect win-win situation. She didn’t have to work here anymore, and I paid her bills.

To Oaklyn, it was the wrong suggestion. Her head jerked up toward me and her lip curled up in disgust. “What? No!”

“Please, Oaklyn.” Why wouldn’t she let me do this for her? Why was she being so damn stubborn?

“Absolutely not.” She hopped down off the desk and paced away from me. I watched her back get further and further away. I looked around the room, through the glass

wall and imagined some other person behind it watching her. I imagined them jacking off or having sex while they watched Oaklyn fuck herself. Each thought built up and up, bubbling to the surface, begging me to release the pressure, let my control slip completely.

“Oaklyn.”

“No.” She faced me with hard eyes. “You’re not paying for anything.”

“But you’ll let some stranger pay for your schooling by watching you have sex, but not me?”

Oaklyn’s head jerked back like I’d physically hit her, her jaw dropped in shock. “Am I a prostitute to you? Do you want to pay me for sex?”

“No,” I growled, angry that she’d taken it that way. “I just can’t stand other people doing it.”

“I don’t fuck for money!” she shouted. “And I sure as shit don’t want your money because we do fuck.”

“Real big difference there,” I said, my tone dripping with sarcasm. And even my own insides curled in disgust at my words. What the fuck was I doing—saying? Closing my eyes, I shook my head and realized I was toeing the far side of the line, one leg already hanging off the cliff. My fear of losing it and hurting her was taking place and I hadn’t done anything to stop it.

It was like seeing how close to the edge I was knocked me back a few steps, like it firmly planted both feet down on the safe side of losing control and I tried to recover. I tried to fix it, but when I opened my eyes to look at her, her face was painted with pain and hurt that I’d put there.

“Please, Oaklyn,” I begged even though I felt like I’d already lost the battle. “I know you’re strong and prideful. I know you can do this on your own, but you don’t have to.

Let me help.”

With her chin quivering, she shook her head. “I can’t.”

The anger bubbled, but low enough that I was aware of it and how easy it was to flow over. But still enough that it

reminded me of the damage I could do, and it hit me. Like a sledgehammer to the chest, it hit me.

“I can’t either.”

Her chin dropped in shock, her eyes wide and blinking quickly, trying to change the picture before her. I had to clench my jaw when tears glazed over her eyes and pooled on her bottom lids before falling, leaving silvery tracks down her cheeks I yearned to wipe away.

“Callum—” Her words cut off on a choked whisper.

She was beautiful, and I kept flashing back to the way my question had made her feel ashamed and embarrassed.

I kept flashing back to the hurt on her face when I insulted her, reducing her to a prostitute. Remembering how easy the anger won and changed the way she looked at me. I couldn’t do it to her.

“Oakl—” Her name got caught in my throat and I had to clear it and try again. “Oaklyn, you mean the world to me.

You’ve given me the vision of a future I never thought I’d ever have, that I didn’t think I was worthy of. You’re so young, so full of life, and I was lucky enough to have you share that with me. When I look at you, my world feels more right, I feel more at peace than I have in years. When I look at you and see the way you watch me, I feel like someone else. Someone normal who will have a normal future. I feel good when you look at me.” Slicking my tongue across my dry lips, I struggled to get the truth out.

“And if we continue on this path, that will disappear.”

She shook her head, not understanding. How did I admit how far I’d fallen? Swallowing hard, I ran my hand through my hair, staring at the floor.

“My insecurity with you working here—my jealousy is taking its toll on me. I’ve been . . . Drinking more. A lot actually. I know you’ve seen some, but it’s so much more than that. I can feel my patience slipping faster, the control I’ve worked so hard to gain is just slipping between my fingers like sand, and I’m barely hanging on.” I threw my

arms wide, presenting the night to her. “I mean, fuck. Look at what just happened. Look at what I said to you. I can’t keep doing this just to destroy you. I know it’s not forever, but I can’t wait and destroy us in the process. What would we both look like by the end? Pieces of who we started as?”

“Callum, we can do this. We can make it work. I promise, we will find a way,” she pleaded with me, stepping up to wrap her hands around mine. The soft heat of her skin shocked mine, traveling up my arms, trying to make my heart beat, but it felt hollow, like it was lying there useless, dying. Her eyes shone brighter from the tears, sparking my own. The lump that had been lodged in my throat broke free and wetness slid from my eyes. My nose itched, and I hated that I couldn’t be stronger. That I couldn’t just control my emotions.

“I can’t let my jealousy and fear—my inability to rationalize and rein in those emotions—tear you down. And I can’t deal with knowing you are sharing something so desperately precious to me with others. Even if it’s pretend.

Even if it’s just a job.”

Her face crumpled, and I squeezed her hands in mine, fighting from pulling her in my arms and lying to us both just to make her stop crying. But that would be just for now, I’d only be postponing the inevitable.

“Please don’t do this,” she begged through her tears, tearing me apart.

I took a moment, trying to work past the pressure on my chest, trying to control the tears sliding down my cheeks.

“You deserve someone strong enough to deal with it. You deserve someone who doesn’t rely on you so much. You’re just a teenager, just starting your future with so much fire.

You deserve more than someone who hefts their baggage on your shoulders. You deserve more than me.”

“I don’t. I do—.”

“You do.”

“I only want you, Cal. Please.”

I lifted a hand to her cheek to wipe away her tears, but they were just replaced with more. “Oaklyn, I can’t swallow the thoughts of you working here. I’m selfish and scarred and I don’t want to hurt you with my issues, and that’s what this is. My issues. Not you. Logically, I know you wouldn’t do anything, but the fear of it is tearing me apart.

It is eating at me, and it’s going to spread like a venom I’ll take out on you.” Taking a deep breath, I said it one more time. “I can’t do this. I can’t handle my emotions with you working here.”

Her face crumpled all over again, and a part of me hoped maybe she would give in and let me pay. She took a deep, shuddering breath, and lifted her chin, tears still falling.

“And I can’t let you pay for my schooling. It would tarnish everything good you said about us. Everything good we’ve done would be ruined because I’d feel like a whore.”

“You are not a wh—.”

“I would feel like one.”

“Oaklyn. I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

With that, she stepped into me, wrapping her arms around my waist, burying her head in my chest, and I held her as close to me as possible. Trying to keep a part of her with me even when I walked away. I leaned down and pressed my nose into her hair, trying to imprint the smell of her in my mind so I wouldn’t ever forget. Her shaking shoulders and quiet cries cracked my chest open and crushed everything soft inside.

My own tears slipped in her hair as her hands ran up and down my back. I made sure to feel every stroke.

Cherish every touch. It might be the last time I let anyone get so close.

She tipped her head back and rose on her toes to press her wet, trembling lips to mine. Immediately my eyes

closed. I tasted her, memorized her, let my tears mix with hers.

All too soon, she pulled back, and dropped her head, hiding behind her hair. Her arms no longer wrapped around me, but around her own waist as though she was protecting herself from any more pain.

Hopefully, when I walked out the door, she wouldn’t have to protect herself anymore.

When I walked past her, I stopped and pressed a lingering kiss to the crown of her head, her soft cries at my back as I exited the room.

I left Voyeur for probably the last time and headed home to lose all my control in private, trying to find comfort in the fact that she wouldn’t be there to feel it.