Voyeur: Chapter 20
CALLUM
Oaklyn barely made eye contact with me the entire time in class the next day, and I’d know if she had considering I stared at her the whole time. At least as much as I could without sending alarm bells to everyone in the class. I couldn’t even blame her. She had every right to never acknowledge my existence ever again.
What the hell had I been thinking? After talking to Reed, I was too close to seeing reason in his suggestions that I give in, so I’d taken a huge step back, not wanting to tempt myself. I’d probably been colder than I should have been, but I hadn’t wanted to not have her around. So, as I remained indifferent, I gave her menial tasks to keep her late, making her stay until I was ready to walk out way past everyone else leaving. I liked listening to her putter around when the rest of the office was silent. I could’ve almost imagined that she wanted to be there.
Except for last night when she’d had enough and stormed in, a ball of fire. She’d stomped in refusing to take my shit, and she’d lit a match inside me. I’d had such a short fuse, that the smallest spark was going to detonate it.
The explosion had burned bright and consumed us both.
When she’d thrown her temper tantrum and asked me what I saw when I looked at her, I saw the vulnerability. I saw the
hurt, and it had pulled the honesty right out of me. It had tugged and tugged until my body was being honest right along with my words.
Too bad my body had lied to me thinking it could follow through with what I’d started. I’d believed that as long as I focused, I’d be fine. Then she’d fallen to her knees and the sweating began. Then the tremors. I’d tried to relax, tried to think of anything else, but when her small hand had brushed against my dick, I’d panicked. My body reacted on instinct, jerking back, and she’d looked at me with so much confusion that I hadn’t been able to hold her pained gaze.
I’d hated seeing her cry. Hated that I’d hurt her.
As much as I knew she deserved to shut me out, I couldn’t let her. I needed to find a way to make it right.
Maybe if I said the right words, I could buy myself time.
Like I had with the other women I’d been with when I hadn’t been ready to be alone again.
With Oaklyn though, it wasn’t about being alone. I wasn’t ready to let go of her or the picture of a normal future she conjured so easily in my head. The feeling in my chest at her laugh and sense of humor. The sheer need that consumed me when she looked at me. Yes, she was beautiful and sexy, and I desired her more than any other woman, but I’d never wanted like I did when I thought of her. I’d never felt like I could actually achieve my desires as much as I did when I was near her. I wasn’t ready to let go.
I needed to talk to her. Explain to her. Something.
Anything.
Maybe she’d understand if I told her. If I admitted my demons.
No. It wasn’t possible. I’d find another way.
But that chance didn’t come as she bolted out of class. It didn’t come when I missed her on Friday. Meetings consumed my day, one right after the next. I barely got a glimpse of her as I walked into the office to see her saying
goodbye to Donna. I did, however, hear her say she had to work tonight when Donna asked her about her plans.
I’d become desperate enough to track her down anywhere. I couldn’t wait for the whole weekend to pass before I got another chance. Which was how I ended up outside Voyeur close to midnight. I’d gone home and attempted to try and talk myself out of coming, but I’d failed.
Oaklyn stood at the bar when I walked in. Not hesitating, I made my way over to her.
“Beer and a water?” Charlotte asked me when I leaned against the bar next to Oaklyn.
“Just the water, thanks.”
Oaklyn rolled her lips between her teeth. I remembered what they tasted like, the way they felt pressed against mine, and I knew, despite how wrong it was, that I was in the right place, doing the right thing with her. My body came more alive just looking at her than it had in years.
“What are you doing here, Dr. Pierce?” she asked, still staring at the counter.
“You can’t keep avoiding me.”
“I’ve done pretty well so far.” Her head tipped, and her eyes flashed in my direction. I took in the hurt before she looked away again.
“Please, let me talk to you.”
“Well, Dr. Pierce, looks like I’ll continue to keep avoiding you, because I’m off. You’ll have to find another girl to watch tonight.”
“I don’t want anyone else.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Fuck. There it was again, the hurt. I opened my mouth to tell her how much I wanted her when Charlotte placed the water in front of me and looked between the two of us.
“Everything okay?”
Holding my breath, I waited for Oaklyn to say something to have me removed. It would have been easy for her
considering it was common knowledge that Daniel only protected one thing more than the club members, and that was his employees. She could say I was harassing her, and I’d probably be escorted out. Depending on how much she divulged or exaggerated, she could have my membership revoked.
Relief washed over me when she nodded her head just slightly. “Everything’s fine.”
I had to take it as a sign that maybe she didn’t want me gone as much as she claimed. I had to try.
“Oaklyn,” I began when Charlotte walked away. “Please, talk to me.”
“Callum,” she sighed. My name coming from her lips soothed me, and some of the tension in my shoulders relaxed. She opened her mouth to say more but was interrupted.
“You’re off, Oak,” Jackson said walking up to her other side. “See you later this week?”
She turned her back to me and hugged Jackson. “Yeah, I’ll see you next time.”
I faced the bar, not wanting to see her in his arms. A primal part of me, one that had never existed before, wanted to scream that she was mine. Drinking my water, I watched her walk toward the back room without even a goodbye, and I was left facing the shirtless boy who was able to touch Oaklyn whenever he wanted. He gave me a narrow-eyed stare, but I didn’t waste time giving one in return. I threw a twenty down on the bar and went to wait outside the employee lounge. I wasn’t ready to give up so easily.
It wasn’t long before she was coming out, bundled up and ready to go. Her eyes were on her phone, so she missed me standing there.
“Oaklyn,” I said, getting her attention.
She looked up and rolled her eyes before returning them to her phone. “I’m tired, Callum. Can we not do this?”
Instead of answering, I looked down at her phone at the Uber app she had open. “What are you doing?”
“Ordering an Uber,” she answered like it was obvious.
Which it was. I just didn’t understand.
“Why? Where’s your car?”
“It needed some work and it’s taking longer than they expected.”
Checking the time, I saw it was almost one in the morning, and I hated the idea of her taking an Uber. What if something happened?
Placing my hand over her phone, I stopped her. “Let me drive you home.”
Her skin was soft and her pulse along her wrist jumped at my touch, lighting a fuse in my fingers that shot through my arm to my chest.
“Callum—”
“Come on,” I interrupted, halting her rejection. “I’ll feed you on the way.”
“It’s after midnight. Nothing is open.”
“Just . . . please.”
No one was near us as we lingered near the entryway of the club, and I waited for her decision. She finally looked up and locked her eyes on mine for what seemed like the first time since Wednesday night. We were in our own bubble. The world no longer a part of the energy surrounding us.
“Fine.”
I barely held my smile back as I led her to the car.
Oaklyn had a lot of pride, and I didn’t want to gloat in fear of her backing out.
I’d ended up taking her to Waffle House with the intention of sitting down so we could talk, but when we got there Oaklyn, hesitated to get out.
“What’s wrong?”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be the best idea for me to stroll in with my professor in the middle of the night.”
“Shit. I didn’t even think.” I was so damn focused on just spending time with her that I didn’t even consider our positions. I forgot she was my student. I just saw her as the woman I needed to be around. “Okay. Tell me what you want, and I’ll order and bring it back out. We can eat in the car.”
“Just a waffle and some bacon.”
When our orders were ready, I grabbed them and rushed back out to the car. Oaklyn watched me fumble with the bags, a hesitant look on her face as though she still wasn’t sure how the night would end. “Smart thinking about people seeing us. It was packed in there.”
“Olivia talks about it a lot. Says it’s the hot spot most nights.”
“Yes, I remember the wonders of Waffle House. Best between the hours of ten at night and four in the morning.”
She laughed and shifted in her seat, waiting for her food container. “Your waffle, my lady.”
“Such a gentleman.” She set the food on her lap and tried to balance the fork and knife, but it ended up dropping when she moved to grab a napkin. She tried again, but the same thing happened when she moved the slightest bit. “Ugh. This is ridiculous.”
“Don’t let the plasticware defeat you,” I joked as I struggled with my own utensils.
She glared at me out of the side of her eye before sighing dramatically. “Listen, if you want, we can just eat at my place. It’s close by.”
I hope the dim lights in the car hid my shock, but I didn’t think twice about accepting her offer. Being alone with her tonight was more than I thought I’d get. “Yes.”
She pinched her lips and looked down trying to hide her reaction but laughed at my fast answer. “Just don’t expect anything fancy. I’m just a poor college girl.”
I’d kept my expectations low, and while the location wasn’t the greatest, her apartment was clean and had
enough decorations to keep it from looking bare. Which wasn’t hard to do considering the space was so limited. To call it an apartment was a stretch.
Either way, it was nice. Organized. And I got to watch her no matter where she moved in the small space. She took my coat and hung it on the coat rack and suggested we eat on her couch at her coffee table.
“A coffee table is cheaper than an actual dining room table,” she explained. “And I never expected to have a dinner party to worry about.”
“I’d hardly call me and Waffle House a dinner party.” I laughed.
“It’s dinner and you’re company. I think it’s as close to a dinner party as I’ll ever get.”
“Fair enough.”
She bounced the cushion when she sat down beside me.
It was more of a love seat, but it matched the chair sitting catty-corner, and I took it as a good thing that she shared the couch with me rather than sitting by herself.
“How are classes?”
We needed to talk, but we’d somehow pushed aside the tension, and I wanted to enjoy it for now.
“Okay,” she answered around a big bite of waffle. I had to fight from leaning forward to lick the syrup sitting on the corner of her lips. Then I’d trail my lips down her neck across her exposed shoulder.
The girl had to own stock in oversized sweaters. Not that I blamed her, she looked gorgeous in them.
“Although, one class, there was this test,” she said, pulling my attention back. “It was unfairly brutal. The teacher’s a complete asshole to make a test that hard.”
“I remember exams like that. They always took me down a peg.”
“Right? I mean, who the heck expects us to know every constellation?”
I almost choked on my bite of waffle when I realized she was talking about me. Looking up in shock, I was met with shining eyes and lips pressed together to stop from smiling.
“Hardy-har-har. You’re hilarious,” I deadpanned after I managed to swallow. “Which one tripped you up the most?
The Big Dipper or the little one?”
“Definitely the little one,” she said, all serious. “How little? A lot little? Or is it really big and called little. Like Little John.”
“That’s a good question. You should become a physics major and discover it. I’m sure it hasn’t been discovered before.”
She tossed her head back and laughed, sucking the air right from my lungs. Fuck, she was beautiful.
“I miss eating lunch with you. My work-study just hasn’t been the same the past two weeks.”
“Me too. Your sense of humor definitely gets me through the afternoon.”
A silence fell between us letting me know our time for avoiding the real topic was up.
“Why are you here, Dr. Pierce?” I winced at her return to using my professor name. “You’ve shown repeatedly that you don’t want me. So, what is this?”
A laugh rumbled up my throat. “God, Oaklyn. I do want you.”
Her eyebrows raised expectantly, waiting for an explanation.
My heart hammered in my chest as I thought of my options. Cut it off here and leave. Let it go. Try and stutter through a half truth and hope it satisfied her need to understand.
My eyes traced the skin of her shoulder, remembering how it felt beneath my fingertips. My mind flashed with memories of how she tasted. The sight of Reed and Karen before me, his hand on her stomach hit me. The way I imagined Oaklyn when I tried to see my future.
She filled me with a hope that maybe there was more past my fear. She made me believe, and I needed to try. I could do this. I could do this with her.
Setting my container aside, I scooted toward her and grabbed her container, moving it to the table too.
She tracked my movements with wide eyes and swallowed.
Brushing her hair behind her ear, I pressed my forehead to hers, taking in her fine features, full lips, the dips and shadows under her sweater. Her tongue slicked out, preparing for my kiss.
“Callum.”
Watching her lips form my name pushed me the final inch across the precipice.