VAMPIRE DOLLHOUSE

~ At the precipice of despair.

Do I say.

I love you.

I always will.~

My life is the epitome of tragic.

Transformed into a vampiress at such a young age of fifteen. Lived captive to a madman and vampire scum for a thousand years. Forced to starve to death with the man I love.

I am heartbroken now to see, that on top of all those things, Luke is sick.

"Do you feel any better, darling?" I ask him gently, as I half hover, half drape myself over the stone floor. My body is spasming and I'm having trouble keeping my muscles in control. I can't seem to sit straight without floating or float without dropping right back to the ground.

"I'm afraid not, my Angel. I'm cold and I don't feel well. I'm hungry and I'm tired and I'm cold. Forgive me for yelling earlier. I was just jealous. Jealous I can't hold you in my arms in the way your husband was able to. I want to be the one that lived a thousand years with you in this castle. Not him."

"You are forgiven, My love. Please do not be heartbroken. The hope is alive. We will be fine. Just fine and nothing bad will happen."

I haven't been sick in a very long time, so, to be truthful, I've somewhat forgotten what it feels like. I can only imagine from the look on Luke's face that it isn't very pleasant. Luke looks so miserable I wish I can snatch the flu from his soul and tack it to my own. I hope he is comfortable. That is all I can think. I hope he is comfortable and not in pain.

I think of the past, when father was sick and we had to fetch the medicine woman, who was considered something of a local witch back then, and gain remedies from her to heal him. I think he was about 42 years old at the time. I was about seven. He was a strong and noble man and I loved him very much. That was another miserable experience I remember regarding sickness.

I remember when he got better, he carried all of us over his shoulders and we danced in the fields in celebration. Those were the days. The good days when I was young and happy and a human being. Just like Luke.

The world was a happy place back then.

So happy. So wonderful. So peaceful.

And so real.

Luke is sick and I feel badly for him.

My heart goes out to him completely.

I wish there is a medicine woman to fetch for Luke. I wish there is someone I can call to make him feel better. But there is not a single thing I can do to make it go away.

I'm at the point now that I think that life may be too long. It is an ongoing on and on and on feeling that makes me feel completely furious at times. Why the hell can't I just have a friend and be happy and have nothing go wrong. Why can't I have the perfect love story. Why must I suffer in this way.

Why does my world have to be so goddamned sick. I feel like my fate is weaved in illness. As if my destiny has caught a cold. Why the hell can't I just be happy without something going wrong and having something bad happen?!

Why oh why oh why must life go on and on and on in this way forever.