(Un)wise

“Bethi,” Luke called my name and tapped my face.

I opened my eyes with my heart still pounding.

“Why didn’t you lean against me? The dreams aren’t as bad then,” he scolded with a concerned frown.

I blinked at him as the memory of my sister’s death continued to cloud my thoughts.

“Betrayer,” I whispered.

Luke looked shocked. “I would never betray you,” he whispered. Some obscure emotion flicked into his eyes and for a moment he looked so helplessly lost. “Never,” he breathed as if talking to himself. Then, determination replaced it and he slowly leaned toward me.

My breath caught as his gaze snared me. Trapped, I watched his eyes drop to my mouth. My heart skipped a beat, but not in fear. I knew he heard it too when his arms tightened fractionally and his fingers feathered over my hair.

“I will protect you,” he said softly. His lips brushed my top lip, the barest of touches, before he retreated slightly.

My heart struggled painfully as my stomach twisted in anticipation.

“You are everything I am. Without you…”

In his arms, I believed him. A small burst of hope warmed me. What if, instead of worrying about living or dying, I just…lived?

Dropping my eyes to his lips, a shaky breath escaped me; and I lifted my mouth to his. A spark ignited in my stomach. Our lips touched for less than a second before he pulled back quickly.

I wanted to yell and cry. Instead, I took a deep breath and tried to quell my frustration. The stubborn man wouldn’t even look at me.

“Why?”

“Why what?” he asked distractedly, eyeing the road ahead.

“Why protect me? I’m not your Mate.”

His eyes met mine, and the intensity of his look robbed me of words.

“Do not mistake my patience for disinterest.” He gently threaded his fingers through my hair, and I held my breath. His lips lifted in a half smile at my hopeful look, but he dropped his hand.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to stop yet,” he said with a nod toward a building I hadn’t noticed. We sat in the parking lot of a hotel.

“No,” I said in panic, struggling to get off his lap. I did not want to stay at another hotel. I could still see the dead man’s eyes from under the bed. A shudder ripped through me.

“Shh,” he whispered wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. “It will be okay.”

“No. It won’t. They won’t give up.”

A flush crept into Luke’s face. ‘Have you died in this life? Not this cycle, but this life? No. Do you know why?’ He met my eyes and leaned in close. ‘Because you have me. Because I won’t let you die. I’ve already sent a call asking for someone to meet us. We don’t need to—”

My head shot up knocking into his jaw as the last two dreams clicked into place. How could I be so stupid?

His mouth closed with a snap, and he grunted but didn’t set me aside.

“What did you say?” I demanded trapping his face between my hands. “What did you tell them?”

Surprise colored his eyes as he answered cautiously. “That we would be here and needed an Elder and a few others to help escort you back to the Compound.”

“When?” I insisted.

“A few moments before I woke you,” he answered, clearly puzzled.

So just a few minutes ago? I dropped my hands and hopped off the bike, scanning the road in both directions. All clear, but the trees around us could hide anything. I wished I could see those sparks like my sister.

“Go get a room. Hurry!” I motioned him toward the main door. He opened his mouth to ask more, but I started power walking.

As soon as I cleared the door, I pasted on my chipper face, the one I’d used so often to hide the fact I wasn’t sleeping, and asked for a room. Luke, just a few steps behind me, paid for the room as I filled out the form using my fake ID. I took a moment to write the hotel’s phone number on the palm of my hand, too.

I hurried down the hall to the room and opened the door, making sure to touch the handle and the wood. Luke stood watching me with concern. I didn’t step further into the room. Instead, I closed the door again and retraced my steps, heading back outside. He followed me without comment.

“What are we doing?” he asked when we reached the bike.

“We’re leaving, but you need to keep quiet about it.” I motioned for him to get on. He didn’t hesitate to settle on the seat. “Don’t tell anyone. If I’m right, that room will have visitors soon.” He glanced toward the hotel, and I saw he finally understood.

I swung my leg over the seat and slung the strap over his head. He started the engine as he removed the slack. Pressed against him, we pulled out of the parking lot heading west. I tapped his shoulder.

“Go south!”

Taking the next turn, we headed south for the next two hours. I had enough rest that I evaded the dreams calling me. When I thought enough time had passed, I tapped his stomach to get his attention.

“I think we can stop,” I said as we sped down a main highway.

He signaled for the next exit, and we took the northern route to the next town.

He turned his head and asked, “Are we getting a room?”

“No, not yet. We just need a pay phone.”

He pulled into a gas station, and I quickly ducked out of the strap before hopping off. I moved to the phone and dialed the hotel’s number. Pretending to be a reporter, I asked if they would offer a comment regarding their recent break in. The guy on the phone started an exciting tale until his manager cut him off. I hung up the phone and turned to look at Luke. He’d moved from the bike to stand close to me.

“Did you hear most of that?”

He nodded. The muscles in his jaw stood out from clenching it so hard.

“Someone is betraying you,” I said softly. “I think we need to be more careful with the route we take to the Compound. They know where we’re headed and will be waiting. It should be safe to get a room in the next town. No more communicating. With anyone.” I rubbed a hand over my face, tired.

He moved forward, slightly widening his arms as if to hug me. Yeah, right. I quickly stepped away and walked toward the bike. Too much disappointment in one day wasn’t good for a girl. Anyway, the countdown to the imminent end of my life still ticked away, and we stood in the open taunting it.

“Bethi,” he said with slight exasperation.

I didn’t turn back to look at him. “We need to keep moving. The dreams are calling again,” I said to explain my hurry.

We found a room next to a sportsmen outlet before the sun set. I’d managed to stay awake for most of the ride, but exhaustion tugged at me. Once inside the room, I kicked off my shoes and landed on the bed completely ignoring Luke.

The hand hitting my face knocked me off balance. I stumbled but spread my stance to avoid falling.

“Which one are you?” he demanded as he hit me again. Fire lit my face; each strike had created a burning path across my cheek and jaw.

I remained silent. My father and brother stood a short distance away and watched despite their urge to rush forward.

“What is your ability?” he roared, his anger growing.

Smack.

I struggled to maintain my mental hold on my father as the last hit broke skin and a trickle of blood ran down my cheek. My father’s anger crawled into me as he yelled at the man to stop. He curled his fist, and I willed my brother to lift a hand and rest it on Father’s shoulder. Fear of the group of men surrounding us overshadowed my brother’s anger.

“Do you see lights in your mind?” my tormentor growled through his elongating teeth.

I tried again to assert my will over his. Most people’s wills felt like a thick sturdy rope, easy to grab and to hold. Once I held someone’s will, I easily implanted thoughts into their minds as if the thought were their own. The men around us were different. The slim slick strands of their wills slipped from my grasp. In the half of a second I touched their wills, nothing ever happened.

Smack. I’d waited too long to answer.

“Have you seen things that helped your family become prosperous?”

Several of the men looked at my father’s wealthy clothes, a gift from my mother’s father and nothing to do with my ability.

“Do you calm those around you?”

My eyes flared slightly before I could stop the reaction. The man hesitated.

“No,” he murmured to himself, watching me. “You cannot be her. Her presence is felt by everyone. Her purpose is to calm and prevent fighting.” He reached forward and lightly touched the open wound on my cheek. His fingertip came away bloody. “I would not feel so angry right now if you were her,” he added with a slight narrowing of his eyes. “Why then did you react to the question? Do you know where she is?”

I kept my gaze locked on his, afraid to give anything further away. I had no idea who he spoke of.

He licked the blood off his finger with an evil smile and glanced at my father and brother. “You are not their Hope or their Prosperity. If you were Wisdom, you would have run when we first appeared. You are not Peace, and Courage always dies young.” He turned to me with a bark of laughter. “I smell your loving father’s anger and your brother’s fear. Yet, they remain here neither running nor fighting. Do you find that odd, my dear?”

I kept my face carefully relaxed as I turned to look at my family.

The man stepped closer to me, his features rippling and contorting. “Asking you questions will result in nothing answered, will it not? Perhaps we need to ask someone else.”

Keeping my eyes locked with my father, I said, “I love you. I am sorry.” Tears gathered in my father’s eyes, and his panic flared within me a moment before I calmed it and pushed the urge to sleep at him and my brother.

The men behind them howled in outrage as my father and brother collapsed to the ground. The man before me laughed. “You will need your Strength,” he said a moment before he bent forward and viciously clamped his teeth into my shoulder.

I howled in pain and fought harder to grab his will. As slippery as before, the thread of his will escaped my grasp. He straightened and pulled me up by his teeth. Another scream ripped through me. Giving up on my attempt to hold his will, I imagined my will as a stiff unbreakable rod of metal and jammed it toward him. Fighting for breath and control, I hammered at his thin string of will. The pain in my shoulder grew—

“Bethi! Wake up!” Luke’s hand patted my cheek gently.

Pulled out of the dream, I bolted upright and flinched away from Luke’s touch. Wide-eyed and panting, I reached for my shoulder where the echo of the bite still throbbed. My gaze darted around the room as the dream continued to haunt me.

Luke held up his hands, looking worried. “It’s okay. It’s me, Luke.”

I swallowed hard and wiped the sweat from my face. “I know it’s you,” I mumbled as he sat beside me. “Where were you?” His promise never to leave me had only lasted, what? Two days?

He set something on top of the blanket between us. The long wicked blade of a hunting knife caught the light. It had a sturdy handle for a sure grip. It made me nervous. Why was there a knife on the bed?

“It’s yours,” he said. His gaze trapped mine. For once, he looked unsure. He rubbed a hand on the side of his neck in agitation. “I thought it might help you feel safer. I’ll show you how to use it.” When I didn’t say anything he added, “I want you to feel safe. I want to see the fear fade.”

I struggled with my emotions, angry that he’d left me. I was vulnerable not just to my dreams but to anyone looking for me. It annoyed me that he still didn’t get it.

“It’s not just fear. Imagine discovering you’re not who you thought you were, that you belong to a dangerous hidden world. Imagine closing your eyes and seeing yourself and your loved ones die again and again. The fear in your eyes would be eclipsed by your desperation to stop it all.” Tearing my gaze from his, I looked at the gleaming steel. “They are coming. They always do.” I reached out and touched the knife before standing.

He watched me with sad eyes.

“Thank you for the knife. I already know how to use it,” I didn’t add that the knowledge wasn’t from this life.

A memory tickled my mind but refused to come forward. I had the vague impression of standing in the middle of a large battle, bathed in blood that was not my own, as I tried to defend those who tried to defend me. The moves, agile and sure, filled my mind without the details of who I fought or why. I had no doubt I’d eventually recall all the details, but the vague impression was enough to make me hope that day wouldn’t come any time soon.

“The knife might help,” I said as I walked to the bathroom forcing my hand from my shoulder. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was just after nine.

In the shower, I let myself cry. I was beyond done with the dreams and feeling so desperate and crazy all the time. Why was I fighting so hard to hold on to a life I hated so much? The answer helped firm my determination. I didn’t want to be born again into the same crappy cycle facing the same hopeless situation. With this life, I needed to make a difference. I rinsed away my self-pity and finished washing.

When I stepped back into the main room, Luke waited with my bag at his feet. The knife was still on the bed but now with a sheath. His eyes roved my face as I strode to the bed and picked up the knife. I didn’t want to see his concern. Instead, I studied his gift to me. I could strap the knife to my bag so it would be easily accessible, but no one would know I had a weapon because I needed to face crazed man-dogs. Well, people didn’t know yet anyway. So having it on the outside of the bag would make me look like a troublemaker or worse. Moving closer to Luke, I bent and tucked the knife into the bag. Right along the side so I could find it quickly if needed. Convenient, yet out of sight.

“You all right?”

“Honestly?” I wondered if he really wanted to know. Sometimes people asked, but didn’t care. Meeting my eyes, he nodded. “The answer hasn’t changed. No, I’m not all right. But the knife gives me—” I took a slow deep breath as I struggled with how to explain what it meant. “A tiny bit of power over my fate.” What Luke didn’t realize was that if I couldn’t use it against my attacker…well, at least I might escape rape and torture this time around.

A glimmer of helplessness shone in his eyes before he looked away. “Are you ready to leave?”

“I think I’ve slept enough, if that’s what you’re asking.” Shouldering the bag, I followed him out the door.

We stopped at a gas station after several hours to pick up maps so we could plan our route. I wanted to groan when he gave me a general idea of the Compound’s location. West wasn’t exactly right. Try north. Why Canada? I thought with a shiver. I decided then to start wearing layers of clothing.

Studying the map, I saw the problem right away. We had plenty of options until we neared the Compound. Then our routes narrowed down to three. I had no illusions. They would be waiting for us.

The dreams called to me while we rode that day, but I successfully avoided succumbing to them as we wove an erratic pattern northwest.

Taking a break, we found a restaurant for a real meal. I felt exposed walking into such an open, normal space. I wanted food, but I wanted safety more. Luke held the door for me, and I felt his troubled gaze as I passed him, but he didn’t say anything. Picking a booth, I slid in, and he surprised me by sitting next to me.

“Relax,” he breathed a moment before the waitress came. She gave us menus and asked for our drink order, barely looking at us in her hurry. When she walked away, Luke turned slightly toward me draping his arm over the back of the bench seat. I met his gaze. He smiled and spoke his next words softly so only I heard them. “Maybe I should have bought you a gun.”

The absurdity of his comment struck me, and I laughed as he’d intended. “I don’t think it would have made a difference.” I hesitated playfully, then said, “Well, maybe it would have.”

His grin fell, and he grew serious. “I’d buy you an arsenal if it would help you feel safe.” The gruff words and the affection behind them tugged my heart making my stomach twist crazily. His hand moved slightly, so close to the side of my face.

The waitress came with our drinks, and he straightened in his seat leaving me in confused frustration. He ran so hot and cold. He wanted me. I knew he did. But yet, he didn’t. Why was he fighting it?

Our waitress asked if we were ready to order. Without looking at the menu, I ordered a burger and fries. She took note of it and looked at Luke. Her smile grew just a bit brighter, and she shifted her stance, cocking her hip in a flirty way. I rolled my eyes.

“He’ll have two burgers and an order of fries,” I told her before he could speak. She gave me a fake smile, wrote the order on her stupid little pad, collected our menus, and walked away.

“Twat,” I mumbled.

He gave me a look.

“What? There aren’t any kids around, and I was quiet.”

His lips twitched, and he turned toward me once again.

I mimicked his pose careful not to touch him. I didn’t want to freak out my stomach or fall asleep. I watched his eyes for a moment, liking the amusement that still danced in them, but decided we needed to address some real issues.

“You know they will be waiting for us, right?”

“Let’s talk about something else,” he said softly. “I like it better when you have fire or laughter in your eyes instead of what I see now.”

“What do you see?”

“Fear.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“Pardon. Despair.” He spoke softly, his unwavering regard making me feel vulnerable.

I couldn’t help the despair. It lived and breathed in me. Sometimes, he helped me forget though. Distracted me. Like when I tried to bite him. A blush crept into my cheeks as I remembered my failed attempts.

His gaze changed. A glimpse of coveting sparked in the depths of it as he lifted his hand from the back of the bench. I dropped my own arm out of the way. He reached forward just a bit and lightly ran the back of his forefinger along my cheek.

I barely felt his slow, soft touch, but my heart stuttered anyway.

He closed his eyes for a moment. “I see your despair and it makes me…” He exhaled slowly before opening his eyes. His intensity pinned me. “I want to hurt whoever put that emotion in your eyes.”

“I don’t get you. If you feel that strongly about me, why can’t I Claim you?”

He abruptly shook his head. “Let’s talk about something—”

“Else,” I finished for him, annoyed. I paused for a moment, seeing the waitress approach again. “You’re a twat, too.”

He threw his head back with a laugh just as she stopped by our table. Her eyes glazed over a bit as her eyes swept his face and throat. I briefly considered clawing her eyes out before reining myself in. Whoa, where did that come from? Biting my lip, I quelled my immediate need to freak out over the strong surge of possessiveness that had just rushed me. Nature had set him up as a possibility for me so of course I’d feel that way. It didn’t mean anything. I wasn’t actually stupid enough to fall for him. But, until we reached his friends at the Compound, if I couldn’t bite him, no one else would be allowed to nibble. Because…well, just because.

“Can I get you a refill?” she asked him softly.

“He’s fine,” I answered, staring her down.

He kept his eyes on me, and they danced with silent laughter. Yeah, I wanted to smack him again.

She walked away to check on her other tables.

“If we can’t talk about them or us, what should we talk about?”

“You. What do you like doing? What are your interests?”

My mouth popped open. “Are you serious?” We were running toward what I considered our impending deaths, and he wanted to get to know me?

He nodded, and I rolled my eyes. “I like breathing and am interested in staying alive.”

“Bethi,” he practically growled.

Maybe this would help convince him. “Okay, okay. So, interests. Well, before I started losing my mind I—” What had I done? I went to school, hung out with friends, sighed over boys, worried about clothes. “I was self-centered and immature. My interests don’t really matter beyond that, do they? Not after everything I’ve seen.”

“I think you’re being a little hard on yourself.”

“That’s just it. I don’t think I am. I think the human society lets me be too easy on myself. I have more responsibility to be a better person than what I’ve been in the past. Sure, I wasn’t horrible, but I wasn’t great either. Shouldn’t we all strive for great?” I thought of the dream with the Taupe Lady and my friend’s funeral. “Shouldn’t we all strive to make a difference? To impact the lives around us in a positive way? To make our experiences count?”

He watched me with a growing seriousness. “That is a lot of responsibility for someone so young.”

“See. That’s what I mean. No, it’s not. If we held each other to a higher level of accountability, if we raised our children with those expectations and guided them with our own examples of higher achievement, it wouldn’t be too much. We would be a better people because of it. Instead, we took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up on Excuses-Are-Like-Assholes Boulevard.”

He opened his mouth to comment, but I shifted my attention from him to the waitress carrying our plates. He turned, saw her, and sighed. I read the promise in his eyes to continue our conversation later; and inwardly, I cringed. I went from trying to convince him I cared to stepping up on a soapbox I didn’t know I had. And I still felt like I had more to vent. I blamed it on sleep deprivation, bad dreams, and his completely gorgeous hazel eyes.

The waitress set our food on the table and left after our assurances we didn’t need anything else. I kept busy with dousing my fries in ketchup, letting the silence build for a moment. “Can I ask why we can’t talk about us?”

He held out his hand for the ketchup. “It makes me uncomfortable.”

I surrendered the bottle and watched him neatly add it to his burger. “Not getting into details, but what part makes you uncomfortable?”

“All of it.”

That didn’t make any sense. He took a huge bite of his burger while I struggled with my frustration. Stubborn man.

He reached past me for the salt as I leaned forward for the pepper. His hand brushed the curve of my breast, and he jerked back as if scorched. His gaze locked on his hand, and he sat there frozen.

He hadn’t bumped into me hard. No damage done. It’d been an accident. So what was his deal? He continued to…just sit there. I ducked my head trying to make eye contact, but he avoided it.

His reaction to the incident was starting to offend me. “It’s a boob,” I bit out, annoyed. “I have two of them. They don’t do much. They just sit there. They definitely don’t bite, so stop acting like they’re going to come after you. Grow up.”

“Please stop talking about them,” he said in a stiff strangled voice.

I didn’t let up. “You know, sometimes it helps to name the things you fear. Let’s call the right one Everest and the left one Fuji. Two mountainous ranges waiting to be….” I never finished. He had cleared the restaurant’s door in a few furious strides, leaving me sitting alone.

It felt good to get under his skin, to see him react in a way that wasn’t calm and confident. It bothered me that it was at my expense. What was so wrong with me that he freaked out at the slightest touch? Other than the fact that some other werewolves wanted to kill me and I had dreams that made me scream loud enough to shake the nearest window…I mean really, who didn’t have some kind of baggage?

He didn’t go far. My eyes tracked him as he paced back and forth before the restaurant’s front windows. His scowl didn’t let up, and I didn’t feel so frustrated anymore. Smirking, I shook my head and continued eating my fries. He cast an occasional glance in my direction but didn’t appear to calm down.

When I finished my fries and burger, I waited until he glanced at me to take a fry from his plate. His steps hesitated and his scowl changed to a frown as, with a challenging smirk, I ate the fry. I reached for his second burger. He stopped pacing and watched me through the window. His focused stare and complete stillness seemed a little spooky. The other patrons cast nervous glances at him.

Slowly, I lifted the burger to my mouth unable to stop my teasing grin. His eyes narrowed, and he reached for the door. I took a huge bite and hastily set the burger back on his plate.

In just a few steps, he stood by the table looking down at me, his expression carefully blank.

“Well? Did you lose your appetite or not?” I asked.

He slid into the opposite seat and pulled his plate toward him, not saying a word. His avoidance hurt a little. He didn’t want to talk about us, he didn’t want to talk about the trouble that was out there waiting for us, and he didn’t want to talk about my boobs—which was pretty much the same as talking about us. As I watched him eat, I had an idea.

“Tell you what. I’ll let you have two closed subjects between us. Two topics we’ll keep completely off limits. Three is ridiculous.” My tone carried a bit of hostility, but I didn’t really care.

He closed his eyes, finished swallowing, and sighed.

“So which one are we going to talk about…our plan to reach the Compound, the reason you won’t let me Claim you, or my boobs? You choose.”

He set his burger on his plate and took a drink. “They will be waiting for us on all three roads. We could try to leave the bike and take to the woods, but I think they will have scouts ready for that as well. And we’d be slower on foot. Our best bet is to anticipate them and break through before they know when to expect us.”

“So the longer we take to get there…”

“The more likely they are to be ready for us,” he agreed.

After my stunt at the last hotel room, they’d probably caught onto the fact that we knew they were after us.

“Any word from that Elder?” I asked.

“He asked for an update, but I kept it vague. He’s not pushing for anything more. He offered his assistance if we needed anything further.”

That sounded non-threatening. Perhaps we were wrong about him. Still, I’d rather not take the chance.

“Okay then, wolf-man, let’s get going.” I waved the waitress over for the bill as he finished in one huge bite. I waited impatiently as he paid and she flirted. Now that he’d admitted what I already knew—they would be waiting for us—I wanted to get going. With relief, I walked out the restaurant door.

“Tired?” he asked before we reached the bike.

“No,” I lied. After a day on the bike, I was ready for bed even without the pull of waiting dreams, but I didn’t want to delay getting to the Compound.

He turned to glance at me and only shook his head, not believing me. “We can’t go far with you tired.”

“And if we take too long to get there, it will only be worse.” I’d had enough creatures flying out of the trees at me. I didn’t want to give them extra time to gather.

“I could call Gabby and let her know.”

“No, we don’t know who is betraying us.”

“You think she would?” he settled on the bike and fully turned toward me tilting his head to study my expression.

“No, she wouldn’t. At least, not purposely. But, who does she believe she can trust? She could say something to the wrong person. If we stayed on our own, we might actually make it to the gates of the Compound.” I swung my leg over the back and settled behind him offering the strap. “I’ll do my best to stay awake,” I promised.