Chapter 179 His Choice
Ethan just stared at me, not saying a word.
Even though my vision was all fuzzy, I could see the struggle in his eyes clear as day.
I was standing on the edge of the cliff, but my heart had already hit rock bottom.
The moment he hesitated, I knew I was done for.
Faye was crying and begging, but it was like I couldn't hear her. All I could hear was the wind whipping around us, making the whole scene even more suffocating.
After what felt like forever, Ethan finally spoke. "Let Faye go!"
He made his choice. It felt like a knife to my heart, but at the same time, I felt a weird sense of relief.
I always knew what he'd choose. Waiting any longer would've just been torture, but the answer was never gonna change.
I wasn't heartbroken, just felt kinda pathetic.
After Ethan made his choice, I kept my eyes down. I didn't know if he looked at me again, and I didn't want to know. I didn't want to see any guilt in his eyes that might give me false hope. No more illusions; the dream was over.
At the edge of life and death, my husband chose someone else. I couldn't lie to myself anymore.
I didn't show any emotion, no extreme reactions, no accusations, no tears.
I'd always wanted to know who he cared about more. That question had haunted me for so long. Today, he finally gave me the answer.
Faye was untied and threw herself into Ethan's arms, crying like crazy.
Why was she crying? She got saved. I should be the one crying, right?
But I didn't. I finally believed that when you're truly disappointed, there are no tears left.
"Emily," Ethan called out softly, like he was choking on his words.
"Get lost!" Faris roared, cutting him off.
"You made your choice, so just get lost. What's the point of talking?"
After a bit, I heard the car drive away.
I didn't look up. I didn't want to see them leave, even if it was the last time. I wanted to keep a shred of dignity.
"Looks like Ethan still likes the starlet!" someone laughed.
"Get lost!" Faris roared even louder.
Those guys didn't dare say another word. They jumped into the car and sped off.
In the end, it was just me and Faris left on the mountaintop, along with his car.
Faris stood there with his hands on his hips, his back to me, like he couldn't calm down.
Weirdly enough, I was super calm. Despite the pain in my heart, I was so quiet it scared me.
After a while, Faris turned around and came over, quickly untying the ropes that had me bound.
I must've been tied up for ages. It was so cold that my whole body was numb. Once I was free, I couldn't even stand.
Faris caught me, saw I was shivering, took off his coat, wrapped it around me, and carried me to the car. He buckled me in and then got into the driver's seat, rolled up the windows, and cranked up the heater. But he didn't start the car right away.
"Why don't you just throw me off the cliff?" I wasn't sad at all, but why did my voice sound so hoarse?
I stared through the windshield, looking blankly into the distance.
Earlier, when I looked at the dark, far-off sky, it felt incredibly hopeless.
I was right; this world really is full of despair.
I could feel Faris's eyes on me, but I didn't turn to look at him. I just kept staring at the night, as still as a statue.
After a long time, he snorted. "What's the point of dead people? The living are more entertaining."
With that, he started the car and drove down the mountain.
Faris drove to Cindy's house and stopped.
"Get out," he said, getting out of the car himself.
I didn't move, just stared at Cindy's front gate.
In the night, the whole yard felt drenched in sadness.
Faris opened the car door for me. "Get out."
I finally got out of the car.
As I followed him inside, my steps felt heavy. I felt like a sinner representing the Windsor family, coming to beg for forgiveness.
The lights in the living room flicked on, and I immediately saw the portrait hanging in the center.
Although I had only met Cindy once, I knew she was a kind-hearted person. Her sudden passing still felt unreal to me.
"New Year's Eve, I asked you to come here, but you didn't. Now, even if you want to have a meal with my Grandma, there's no chance anymore." Faris probably noticed me staring at the portrait and stopped, sighing deeply. Thinking about it, I did regret it.
At that time, how could I have known things would change so fast? So fast it caught me off guard.
Faris gave a wry smile. "I really regret it. I shouldn't have gone easy on you back then. What I regret even more is that I lied to Grandma, saying you were my girlfriend. Because of that lie, she always held on to hope, hoping I'd bring you around often, hoping we'd get married. If I hadn't lied to her from the start, she probably wouldn't have had any regrets when she passed away, would she?"
Without hope, there wouldn't be despair and regret.
The living room was lit by an old-school incandescent bulb, casting a warm yellow glow that spread out like a soft halo.
As I stared at it, it felt like I could see the filament inside the bulb clearly.
The light stayed still, but I felt like the filament was swaying gently, sometimes looking close, sometimes seeming far away.
That concentrated yellow light slowly filled my entire vision.
When I collapsed, it felt like a pair of strong arms caught me. After that, I was out cold.
When I woke up again, everything around me was unfamiliar.
An old bed frame, walls with uneven paint, a wardrobe and desk with peeling paint, and that same old-fashioned incandescent bulb hanging from the ceiling.
The quilt covering me smelled like soap and carried the scent of sunshine.
That smell took me back to a time when my family wasn't rich but was warm and cozy.
Since everything fell apart, those beautiful moments had vanished.
As I grew up, getting hurt and deceived changed me. I gradually lost my innocence and wasn't purely kind and selfless anymore. The world seemed to chip away at the purity inside me. "Let Faye go!"
That sentence kept echoing in my mind, even in my dreams, disturbing my peace.
With a creak, the door opened.
Faris walked in carrying a bowl, glancing at me lying on the bed. "You're awake?"
I didn't speak, remembering that this should be Cindy's house.
It was already bright outside. It must be the next day, but I had no idea what time it was.
He placed the bowl on the table and walked over to the bed. Then he said, "You fainted. I got the doctor to check on you. He said you might have low blood sugar. I really wonder what kind of life you were living with Ethan to end up like this." I thought I didn't care and could easily let go. But when I heard Ethan's name again, it felt like sharp needles were piercing my heart, making it convulse in pain.
I sat up, feeling weak all over and dizzy.
"Ethan was really good to me, making me, a woman in my late twenties, dream like a young girl, fantasizing about unrealistic things."
"Good?" Faris sneered. "Then why didn't he take you with him? How could he bear to watch you die?"
Faris's words were so blunt they nearly suffocated me.
I answered, "Let's not talk about Ethan now."
Faris said, "Eat something."
I looked at the large chunks of meat in the bowl, and a wave of nausea swept over me. "I don't want to eat."
Faris's tone had a hint of anger. "You already have low blood sugar, and you still don't want to eat?"
I didn't say anything.
Faris asked again, "Are you really not going to eat?"
Even though he sounded harsh, I could sense his good intentions.
I said helplessly, "I really don't want to eat. I can't eat. I want to leave."
Faris stood there with his hands on his hips, his eyes growing dark. "Don't want to eat? Fine. Leave? No way."
With that, he turned and walked out.
The sound of the door slamming was loud, shaking the dust off the door frame.
I stood up and walked unsteadily to the window to look outside.
Villagers occasionally passed by on the small road in front of the house. The trees by the roadside were budding with new life. Two kids were playing happily under the tree, and later, they were called home by their families. When the door opened again, I didn't know how long I had been standing by the window, lost in thought.
"Why aren't you lying down if you're unwell?" Faris asked from a short distance away.
I clutched the hem of my clothes, my voice soft but determined. "If you don't need me to die, please let me go."
Faris's jaw tightened, and I could clearly see his displeasure and even anger.
"Where will you go? Are you going back to Ethan?" His tone dripping with sarcasm.
I suppressed the trembling in my heart and said calmly, "Even though I have nothing left, I still want to live with dignity. Even if I don't go back, I can't stay here. Being abandoned doesn't mean I can be casual. I don't have to rely on a man to survive."
I kept my eyes down, not looking at Faris's expression.
"How will you leave in your condition?"
I was surprised to look at him.
I had expected Faris to fly into a rage, even to use force to detain me here. The only thing I hadn't anticipated was that his words still held a trace of concern.
"Eat first, then we'll talk." Faris said this without waiting for my response and turned to leave. Soon, the kitchen sounded like it was cooking.
Standing for an extended period made my legs go numb. So I returned to the bed and sat down.
After a while, Faris came in with a meal.
He placed the dishes on the table and handed me a bowl and utensils. "Eat first."
The smell of the food made me nauseous. I didn't take it and said helplessly, "I really can't eat."
Faris's hand, clutching the bowl, froze in mid-air, his chest heaving violently.
"You're degrading yourself for a man who chose another woman at the brink of life and death. Are you stupid?" He shouted, then smashed the bowl on the ground. Then, Faris pinned me down on the bed, forcefully sealing my lips with his.